"Well, I mean if we'd gone through with it. I mean." Niles stumbled away from Daphne and came dangerously close to the edge of the roof. He didn't see where he was going. He knew they had come close that night, but what Daphne was saying was... they would have had slept together. She didn't even seem coy about it. He couldn't read her expression; then again, he was too excited to grasp anything around him at that moment. His skin prickled uncomfortably and he wished he could just take his shirt off. Daphne on the other hand misinterpreted the situation. Enormously.

"But I guess that wouldn't have been steamy enough. This could be your steamy romance." She giggled awkwardly and made a vague hand gesture around the roof. Niles was close to falling – or fainting. Off the roof or onto the concrete ground at his feet. This couldn't be happening. She was making fun of him, he realized. She had to be. Niles couldn't say anything, because his mind was still hung up on what she'd said first. That night, one year ago. 'If we had gone through with it'. The words sounded like an angelic chorus. Then again they hadn't. The soft melody in his head disappeared as quickly as it had come. They hadn't gone through with it. Niles looked at the woman he adored and saw her exposed – almost completely – in front of him. Her beauty rattled him, made him hyperventilate. And the possibilities. The lost one and the one she had just handed him. If she'd been serious and he couldn't believe it. There was a reason why they hadn't succumbed to their feelings one year ago. How had Frasier put it? 'Unconsciously you knew that it wasn't right.' As so often and to Niles' great dismay, his big brother had been right. He could dream about that night, make up any kind of happy ending. A steamy, breathtaking ending. The reality was that it never could have happened. It would have been sex. Just pure, animalistic sex. The same one they had all talked about earlier. A bitter taste manifested itself in Niles' mouth. Was she proposing something like that? Here? And now?

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Dr. Crane." Daphne apologized. Her face was reddish. Niles couldn't decide whether it was due to the sun's heat or something else.

"You didn't," upon which she rolled her eyes at him; at least a mannerism he recognized, "Well, yeah you did. I guess I never realized... how serious you were that night."

"We never talked about it, did we?" Daphne no longer looked at him. Her eyes were roaming the roof as if she was searching for the right words. Or the right solution to this awkward situation they had put themselves in. It had just happened. Just like that night hadn't happened. A little mishap, nothing more.

"No, we didn't." He answered softly. He couldn't look anywhere but at her. A very gentle breeze was touching her skin, the same places he had touched her not too long ago. Niles wondered how they could have gone from a sweet moment to this uncomfortable distance between them. As a psychiatrist he knew avoidance only made things worse.

"You know it's one thing when the other person is a stranger. It's different if it's a dear friend." Somehow Niles felt she wasn't talking to him. It was as if she were trying to convince herself. But of what? He wondered. His compassion urged him to go closer, maybe even touch her. In a purely platonic way. His feet didn't move though. So he continued to watch her. As he always did.

"I'm glad we didn't go through with it. I mean we're friends." Niles said.

"We are, but..." Daphne trailed off. His whole life hung on a simple word, on a simple uncertainty. She didn't continue. Niles waited and waited. To him it seemed like an eternity even if he realized how stupid that was.

"But what?" He finally blurted when he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. He needed to know what she was thinking about. About all of this. Whatever this was, because he himself wasn't sure.

"Nothing, Dr. Crane. I don't want to make you uncomfortable again." Niles couldn't believe what he was hearing. Inside he screamed 'make me feel uncomfortable!', but the words wouldn't come.

"It was stupid of me to even mention it. I'd understand if you didn't want to stay here with me." There was a profound sadness in her voice that surprised Niles. Something was troubling her. He couldn't leave her like that. His ethics as a psychiatrist wouldn't let him and his love for her wouldn't either. Finally, he dared to draw a little closer to her. She turned her head to look at him, but he couldn't read her expression.

"It wasn't stupid. I guess I was surprised, because we never talked about it." Niles knew why he had never talked about it: fear, shame and even guilt had rattled him afterwards. He didn't know why she had never mentioned it though. Or why she had felt like mentioning it now.

"There are so many things we never talk about." Daphne mumbled. In an attempt to catch each and every word, Niles walked closer. He wasn't sure if he had understood her correctly. In a way he was too scared to ask her. Just in case she had said something else. Or because she hadn't. Niles wasn't sure anymore. Of anything.

"What did you say?" He whispered. If he whispered like she had then maybe... maybe it changed something about all of this. Niles was so close to her that he could smell the sunscreen on her skin. A soft, warm scent. It relaxed him; reminded him of earlier when she let him touch her. Daphne all but jumped from her chair and it almost overturned from the sudden movement.

"I'm glad we didn't... last year. But for a moment just now I wasn't so sure. Last year when I came to the Montana and was a little, you know, I thought maybe you'd finally... say something."

"Say something?" Daphne turned to him, a contemplative expression on her face. She worried her bottom lip and it distracted Niles.

"Dr. Crane, do you have feelings for me?"

Niles wondered if it was too late to faint. Or flee. Or both.

TBC