A/N: Next chapter, yey! I've been planning out the storyline and I think it's gonna be pretty amusing XD

Sorry if the way I wrote the chapter seems a little weird (maybe it's just all in my head o.o) but I'm just so used to writing in first person POV that any other is a little more of a challenge. n.n;; heh.

anyways enjoy!

Wtf Are Cheesy Poofs?

Tick…tick… tick…

In the small hospital room, a husky brown haired teen stirred under his sheets. The sound of a ticking clock was the first thing he'd heard for… for a while. Slowly, he parted his eyes so slightly, taking in light for the first time in weeks.

Was he dead, or something? He heard voices faintly in the background.

Where… was he?

"…fill up on fudge pops…"

"…can't wait to… …soda pop and…"

His head started to ache a bit. He shut his eyes tight and let out a low groan without being aware of it. Why were the voices talking so fast?

"…waking up? Poopy? Honeykins?"

The boy almost lifted an eyebrow and slowly gazed over to a gushing brunette to his side. She looked kind enough.

"Oh, Eric! You're awake!" The woman embraced him and his awareness was suddenly sharpened. He opened his eyes wider, blinking many times. His surroundings flooded his mind like a tidal wave. There was the brunette hugging him, two teenaged boys, and a man in white walking into the room.

The woman finally released him and he stared blankly at her. It was safe to say this woman was nice- strange, but nice.

He looked to his left and saw a huge assortment of sweet looking things. They looked pretty good, he decided. His mind was taking in so much…

"Wow, Cartman! You're awake! How do you feel?" The black haired teen asked.

He turned and looked at the boy thoughtfully. He was wearing a lot of black, and had a piercing in his eyebrow. He looked kind of threatening.

Then he focused on what the teen said. Cartman? But, that woman had called him Eric.

"Is it Eric, or Cartman?" the boy finally said.

They all stood with a weird look on their faces for a moment. "What do you mean, sweetums?" the woman asked kindly.

"I mean, you called me Eric. But that person called me Cartman. Which one is… my name?" he clarified.

Quiet followed once again until another teenaged boy entered the room with a Styrofoam cup of water and what appeared to be many packets of… sugar. His face brightened when he saw that the brunette was awake.

"Cartman! Dude, you're alive! I'm so relieved!" the blonde said happily.

This time he successfully raised an eyebrow and took notice how simple the blonde's attire was. He had on an orange hooded sweater, which was unzipped, and exposed a bare chest. Kind of trashy looking, but not threatening. The teen looked pretty laid back.

"Huh, how unexpected," the man in white said. "He may have a slight case of amnesia by the sounds of it, but he might just be coming to after such a long coma... I'll be back in a moment," the man finished, and he quickly left the room.

"Amnesia?" the blonde said, glancing at the other two teens.

The young adult in the bed swallowed and clutched his bedspread as he stared at the four strangers staring back at him curiously.

"Can someone answer me? I just want to know my name!" he said in a frantic voice.

'Well, it's both. I mean, you're Eric Cartman. That's your whole name," said the last one to talk; the red head. He stared at the boy- Eric, with emerald green eyes, and had thick wavy locks that went past his ears. They looked tampered with, as if that wasn't his natural hairstyle. He looked the most normal, with a brown hooded sweater zipped up and a scholarly shoulder bag. Eric decided he liked him the most. At least he answered him.

"Oh. Thank you, uhh…" Eric trailed off, feeling dumb.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Um, it- it's Kyle," the red head said, rubbing the back of his neck. "You… don't remember me?" he said curiously.

Eric furrowed his brow and tried, but came up with nothing. Was this guy his friend…?

"Sorry," he finally said.

"No, don't be sorry!" Kyle said quickly, glancing at the black haired teen.

The raven haired boy looked from Kyle to Eric, with chilling blue eyes. "Wow, I've never heard you say sorry to Kyle before," the boy said on cue.

Eric blinked. What did that mean?

"What's your name?" Eric asked.

"Stan… Marsh. Stan Marsh," he repeated.

Eric raised an eyebrow. It's not like he didn't hear him the first time.

"Oh," he said. "And the blonde?"

The blonde looked sad. "Kenny," he said. "I'm your best friend!"

Eric raised both his eyebrows now. So he was for sure a friend. Apparently there was a likeable person behind that shabby appearance.

"And I'm Mommy, Sweetheart! Oh, muffin! I wish you could remember me!" the woman next to him said, embracing him again.

Feeling a tad uncomfortable, Eric patted the woman's shoulder while eyeing up the guys. Kyle and Stan were talking hurriedly, and Kenny was still looking at him.

He was so confused. Why couldn't he remember these people?

"Well, I'm back," said the man in white as he re-entered the room. "It looks here that you had quite the blow to the head, son," he said. "A large rock was driven into the left side of your head at strangely high speed about three weeks ago. How odd…" the man finished lamely.

Eric opened his mouth, offended. "What! That's so… wrong! Who would do that to me?" he asked, sounding upset.

Stan and Kyle widened their eyes. Kenny snickered.

Eric glared at him. So much for being a best friend!

"Oh, hon. It's okay! Just have some Cheesy Poofs and feel better!" said Ms. Cartman.

"What are Cheesy Poofs?" Eric asked slowly.

Everyone gasped.

"What?" he asked. "What'd I do?"

"Wow, this is bad!" the strange man said. "I think it's fair to say we should leave the boy alone for a while. Would you like that?" he asked.

Eric's mind was spinning. "Ye- yeah… for a while…" he said, looking down.

"Alright, dude. Well, uh… feel better," Kyle said.

Eric smiled at him in response.

"Yeah. See you soon," Stan said, walking with Kyle out of the room.

"I'll come back in a little while, Poopy! I love you!" Ms. Cartman said, which was followed by another snicker from the blonde. It irked Eric a bit.

"Dude… you really don't remember anything?" Kenny said, walking towards Eric's bed.

"No… well, I don't remember any of you. I'm sorry," he apologized again. "Are those other guys my friends as well?"

Kenny grinned. "You could say that. What did you think of Kyle?"

Eric thought. "He seemed really nice. I liked him more than that Goth kid."

Kenny really cracked up at that. "Stan's not Goth!" he said, smiling. "Fuck dude, you need to get your memory back. I'll come back tomorrow, buddy. I hope they'll let you go when I come by," he said, and with a light punch to Eric's arm, the weird blonde left the room to Eric and his thoughts.

"God… what the hell?" Eric said aloud. He looked back over to the pile of sweets to his left. He raised an eyebrow and eyed up a box of what looked like… chocolate guns? What a violent sounding snack.

Reaching over, the teen slowly lifted the box towards him and opened it. He pulled out one of the odd confections and took a bite.

It wasn't that great.

A/N: Cartman not loving chocolate guns? xD That won't be the weirdest thing that happens.

Things will pick up next chapter when Cartman leaves the hospital. x3 Pleaaase review, guys! -heart-

I'm gonna go watch Team America for the first time now. :o