"So you see my dilemma, Stephen King," said Harry, shaking his head. "I know you'll help me set the Harry Potter Canon straight."
"Don't be such a whiny bitch," snapped King. "Narrative needs tension. You want me to fix your problems for you? I write horror, not the Care Bears or Twilight. Do it yourself."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "You shall regret those words. After I have dealt with Rowling, I'll trap you in the deepest pits of hell, and force you to listen to looped Ke$ha CDs forever."
King's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't have the guts."
"We shall see."