Chapter Two
I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase.
Evanescence – My Immortal
Two Months Before
"I hear New York's nice this time of year." I said dumping the final remnants of my life into the small black and white chequered suitcase that I was going to take on the plane with me.
"So that's it? You're leaving? No real plan, no nothing, you're just moving out and going to New York?" Evelyn exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air as I yanked the suitcase off the bed, it hit the floor with a dull thud. She'd been harping on about the move since I'd told her my decision which had been a few days ago. I bit back the retort I already had prepped and ignored her.
"Your running away, I can't believe your running away, you of all people." My last line of defence snapped, my mouth was already open before I had a chance to think.
"He died Evelyn, Elliot is dead, and you aren't the one who has to stay here, night after night, thinking that every noise is him, and waiting for him to walk through that door." I was yelling now. Taking a deep breath I tried to ground myself, avoiding looking at Evelyn's face. Failing miserably I dropped on to the bed hands over my face, rubbing my eyes, remembering that she'd also lost her brother.
"Eveie, it's just too hard right now, I can't live here right now. The funeral's been, I've done the grieving bid, I just…I need space." Evelyn dropped down on the bed next to me, sliding her arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. The gesture was comforting, well slightly.
"I know Carmen I really do… I'm just scared, you've been so strong through this whole ordeal, and if you go, they'll be no one to look after you." I gave her a grim smile fiddling with the hem of my jacket.
"I'm a big girl Eveie, and besides I've already done the whole grieving thing, it'll be nice having a new start." I said honestly. I stood up moving to the window, and looking out of it.
"Losing Elliot hurts a lot, but I think he'd want me to do this. After everything that happened, a fresh start is what I need." I could feel her eyes on my back. I bowed my head sensing her behind me.
"I'm just worried about you, but you should do what you need to, it's what Elliot would have wanted."
I turned around giving her a wry smile. Outside a car horn beeped, I picked up my suitcase and peered out the window, and seeing my cab.
"That's for me." I said, pulling the case in the direction of the front door. I stopped before turning to Eveie.
"Call me when you get there?" she asked, reaching out and hugging me closely. I returned the gesture with genuinely warmth.
"Of course." I broke away pulling open the door and manoeuvring the case around it. Eveie leaned in the door way watching me.
"Just out of curiosity why New York?" she asked looking thoughtful. I shrugged pulling the case with me as I began to walk down the corridor.
"I've got a few friends there."