Disclaimer: Simply put... All the characters and the plot associated with the series belong to Masashi Kishimoto, and I make no money off this. The OCs, however, belong to me, as does whatever plot that shines through.
Warnings: Shounen ai, AU, OOCness (as I have limited knowledge on all of the characters involved - most of it's from other fanfiction and the tid bits I've read off wikipedia), swearing. Other than that, all spelling/grammatical errors are my own. If you spot any, mention them and I will fix them.
Parenthood: The Other Side
It's Just a Name
Konaha's market was a hustle and bustle of eager merchants, pushy shoppers and mischievious children just itching to cause trouble. The village's main street was lined with stalls for all purposes, a delectable palette to wet the mouth of the pickiest of people: fruit, vegetables, meat, fish, pets, some game and quick food stalls... Orochimaru's temples were starting to ache with the onslaught of smells and noise.
Orochimaru found could barely turn around without bumping into a woman with her arms clasped around a few paper bags of vegetation (much like his own were), as though they were her newest offspring. He was sure that if it wasn't for his skills as a ninja, he would have definitely lost all of his shopping, if not squashed something with the collision (and really, tomato stains were extremely difficult to get out of one's clothes).
The Snake Sannin excused himself with a polite nod, earning a small smile from the young woman as she apologised as well. Orochimaru didn't wait to see her off before he'd turned back towards the small playground on the west side of the village, keen to get back to his children and get out of the claustrophobic crowd. It took longer than he liked to weave his way through the rapid stream of people clambering around him, only just managing to keep himself from the roofs of Konoha; they were only used for official ninja business, not if one wanted to get home quickly when shopping.
He felt mildy relieved when a set of swings bared themselves to his serpentine eyes, sticking up above people's heads like a buoy in an ocean.
The playground was a large rectanglular area, that held a sprinkling of play equipment that ranged from rope swings to wooden see-saws to long slides that caused a ruckus when used. There was also a small sand pit and two trees that overlooked the little ones as they investigated the climbing gym and monkey bars beneath them. All this was caged in by a shoulder height, steel fence that Jiraiya had remarked once was "appropriate for locking up little monsters".
The pale man eyed the equipment, examining each of the little busy bodies on each one. He soon found that unlike the other children (who seemed determined to fit on the tented netting at once), Orochimaru could see his lot loitering near the entrance to the playground.
The twins, as inseperable as they were, were sitting on the ground together with their sides pressed against each other snuggly, as Ukon watched Kimimaro practice the defensive stances he'd taught him a few days before. Sakon's attention was on Tayuya, who seemed to be picking at the boy maliciously as he traded heated words with her. Kidoumaru seemed content sitting as close to Jirobo as he could without touching him, perhaps hoping the larger boy's larger stature would deter the curious and probing stares he was getting from the other children and their parents.
It took Orochimaru a mere moment more to reach them.
"Have you all been behaving?" He asked as he knelt down beside them and placed his shopping on the ground. Orochimaru eyed each of them with an examining glance that was laced with a playfulness only his sensei and teammates had ever witnessed.
The kids nodded.
Sakon spoke as he suckled at his (deceased) mother's emerald green necklace, "Orochi-Mama, can we get something to eat?"
"Yeah, I'm hungry." Jirobo agreed immediately.
"You're always hungry, fatty."
Kidoumaru wrung his small hands, his dark eyes ricocheting around the area, "Don't be mean, Tayuya." He mumbled distractedly, whilst inching closer to Orochimaru, like a puppy creeping up on its master.
Orochimaru didn't attempt to deter the six armed boy, as he slowly pasted himself to his long legs. Kidoumaru had only been in Konoha for a few months, and - as expected - he wasn't used to stares that weren't smothered in ill content, though he must have felt that they were. To have caught so many people's attention would be near torturous for the boy, especially since all Kidoumaru seemed to want to do is sink into the ground.
He patted Kidoumaru's head, as he turned his eyes back on Sakon, "Perhaps if you all behave."
Promptly, Orochimaru sent a frigid warning glare at the little pink haired girl eyeing Sakon's pale grey hair intently. Tayuya scowled a scowl far too grim for a four year old in return, before turning her eyes to the ground and then to the other children in the playground.
Orochimaru recieved varying levels of enthusiasm and decibals from his own mob.
"Good," Orochimaru pulled several smaller packages from his paper shopping bags, "You'll be helping me carry this home."
The children didn't whinge much; though they did release minor moans of despair. They'd soon fallen into silence when Orochimaru mentioned their lunch. The man found a smug smile upon his attractive face whilst the kids accepted their goods eagerly, falling into line in front of him as he reached for his own load.
"Jirobo, be sure you don't drop that."
The boy nodded as hugged the bottle of cold milk clutched in his arms, "Yes, Orochi-Mama."
Orochimaru paused, the celery he'd had a hand on, hanging loosely in his grasp.
The Snake Sannin eyed his children, watching with mild interest as they socialised with each other.
Orochimaru hadn't had much social interaction as a child. He'd been orphaned early in his life - no doubt thanks to the war and his mother's weak body - and he hadn't had many friends whilst growing up. School had been filled with taunts and awe filled praise as he'd gone from 'the little girl-boy with freaky eyes' to 'the creepy genius' (his peers hadn't been the most creative individuals out there; Orochimaru had come to the conclusion that one of the reasons he'd been drawn to Jiraiya was his use of original and creative insults - until he was flustered enough).
However, it wasn't their ability to interact that had caught his eager attention. His eyes narrowed, forming bright gold strips that seemed to glow in the shadows of his face as he examined them all: That had been the second time one of his kids had called him 'Orochi-Mama' and within the past fifteen minutes too. Orochimaru's eyes swept over the children again like a tidal wave.
Orochimaru regarded himself as a patient man; he could take quite a few insults if it meant getting what he was doing done (Jiraiya, for example, was ignored on a daily basis). However, there was something unspeakably pride stabbing about being called, 'Orochi-Mama'. Because, even if he did pose as a woman during some missions; even if he had learnt what it meant to be a woman for those missions; even if he had looked like a pretty little girl when he was a child and then a teenager (though he was rather glad to find his face as become more angular as the years had gone by), and even though he'd let Jiraiya rant about his 'maternal instincts' without a fuss, Orochimaru was definitely not female.
The children, Orochimaru reasoned, wouldn't have meant to be slanderous in their name calling. And they most likely didn't realise how insulting their chosen nickname would be when repeated unconditionally. In fact, Orochimaru found himself frowning, he would have wagered they hadn't come up with the name to begin with. Each of the children was young, recently orphaned and wouldn't have known better than to call anyone but their own mothers by such a term. They would have felt guilty. Someone had to have put them up to it.
Orochimaru placed the celery in the bag, one question feeling like a block of lead in his head.
Standing up, Orochimaru hefted his bags into his arms, calling for their little troop to head off. The kids followed obediantly, Kimimaro first, the twins next, then Tayuya, Kidoumaru and finally Jirobo. They constantly reminded him of ducklings when they followed him like this.
The dark haired man silently fell back into his thoughts.
There were few suspects. Near no one within the ninja community knew him well enough to get away with insulting him, and Orochimaru knew that well. Many were frightened of him, and the stupid ones that weren't didn't see a point to degrading him when he hadn't done anything directly to them that was deserving of such treatment. That left five people.
Jiraiya would have been his first suspect, had he not been running around like a dog with a firey stick tied to its tail. Sarutobi-sensei had had him working on a particularly trying set of missions, all to do with an organisation Orochimaru wasn't allowed to know about. Whenever the white haired man wasn't on missions, he'd either been asleep or working on that accursed book he was so keen to create.
Even if Jiraiya had turned away from his work long enough to convinced the children of calling him something, the man's pride would have called for some sort of aknowledgement for the act. Considering he hadn't been prancing around like a stallion showing off during mating season, Orochimaru was sure Jiraiya was uncannily innocent.
His next suspect was based upon their name's alphabetical standing. Which meant Akeginu was next on his mental list.
Akeginu was the elderly lady that had raised him until he was deemed old enough to care for himself. She possessed stringy dark grey hair that wore flashes of silver, and light blue eyes that reminded the man of ice. She was kind, though cynical and far too much of a sticky beak for Orochimaru's liking (perhaps that was where he'd picked up his immense curiousity? Though Orochimaru was far better at steering away from what he was not his business to know).
The woman had caused him much strife over the years, from when he'd been a small child that barely reached her waist and she'd dressed him like a girl's doll, to the time she'd given him a sakura blossom hair clip as a present when he'd first gained the rank of Jounin (supposedly that had been his favourite hair clip whilst he was a baby, and she'd decided it'd make an interesting hand me down, despite Orochimaru's belief that she didn't have to do it in front of the huge crowd that had gathered outside the arena).
Either way, Akeginu would have been an excellent suspect, if only she'd had recent contact with the kids. Speaking of which... Orochimaru would need to take them to visit her soon, lest she come looking for him.
Anko was next and was wiped from his list promptly; aside from the fact that the newly created jounin was off on missions more than she wasn't, Orochimaru had forbade her from having contact with the children without Jiraiya, Tsunade or their sensei present. Considering Tsunade and the Hokage hadn't told him of any meeting, it was safe to say she hadn't met with "the brats".
Next was his sensei. It wasn't Sarutobi-sensei's style to use others to fight his own battles. And even if he'd had a problem with Orochimaru, he would have simply talked to him about it, or if worst came to worst, challenge him to a game of shogi he would most definitely lose. With this in mind, Orochimaru didn't hesitate to cross the Third Hokage from his list of suspects.
Which left Tsunade, his surrogate sister and best friend.
"Orochi-Mama, when we get home, are we allowed to have whatever we want?" The soft voice was near smothered by the racket around them.
Orochimaru's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't reply, the wheels in his head churning into overdrive. What had he done to Tsunade to warrant such an attack on his pride?
"Orochi-Mama?"
"Kimimaro," The slender man answered, his eyes never leaving the crowd, "Why are you all calling me that?"
The little boy's emerald eyes were big and innocent, so much so Orochimaru wouldn't have been surprised if they had rotted his teeth.
"Aunt Tsunade told us to call you that." Kimimaro said in a much quieter voice, as though he'd somehow known Orochimaru would be somewhat annoyed by it. The little boy glanced behind him, before walking beside the Snake Sannin as best he could without being knocked down, "You know how Sakon can't say 'ru'?"
Orochimaru nodded, his eyes flickering down to the little body shuffling beside him.
"Aunt Tsunade said he could call you Orochi-Mama, since it's nearly the same as your name and she said that the rest of us should too, that way Sakon doesn't feel stupid."
They took a sudden, sharp left, turning onto a much quieter street as Orochimaru considered the information. He could hear six set of feet pattering along the ground behind him, and the heated whispers of Sakon and Tayuya fighting again.
The Snake Sannin didn't know what to think about that. It seemed like one of the innocent gestures of kindness Tsunade was prone to, however... 'Orochi-Mama'?
Who had inspired her enough to have her convince his children to call him that? Would someone have dared to, or was Tsunade really the only mastermind behind this surprisingly underhanded scheme? Perhaps this was the woman's way of supporting his adopting the children? She was odd like that. Perhaps because of that, this was like when she'd knocked Jiraiya through the local book store's wall (as though she'd been knocking over a flaccid doll), into the adult section (which had resulted in Jiraiya's buying of all the destroyed books and magazines; his 'research') after he'd told her he'd be publishing a smutty novel.
"Don't you like it?" Orochimaru blinked down at the leaf green, wide eyed boy peering up at him as though he were seeing him for the first time, "I'll tell everyone to stop."
Orochimaru didn't hesitate, "No," He said, as he shifted his bags to his left arm, "It's alright." Be it beyond his capabitity to give in to such a simple nickname... Pride be damned, he would turn this into something positive even if it took a while to get used to.
They circled a tall apartment building, it's dirty orange walls reflecting the midday sun blindingly. The marketplace was like a whisper in the background, as Orochimaru pushed the heavy set door open and held it there as the kids filed inside, the bell giggling idly as he nodded to the building's owner (a particularly grumpy man that had a penchant for alcohol not unlike Tsunade's).
The stairs creaked under their feet as they scaled them. Orochimaru fiddled with his keys as they clapped together, as though cheering on the children's valiant efforts. Behind him, the kids clambered up the stairs like a drunken herd, as they clung to their items and the stair's rail. Orochimaru frowned as he listened to Tayuya curse at the step that had made her stumble; he and Jiraiya needed to find another place; this one was terribly dangerous and cramped.
Orochimaru hipped the door open as he expertly stabbed keyhole. The hallway echoed with the stomping of a herd of children as they raced to put their load down. The Snake Sannin swore he heard a growling tummy as he started rifling through the crackling paper bags.
"You know where to put them. Hurry up and get a drink if you want one; we'll head out as soon as I'm done packing away the things that belong in the fridge."
There was a chorus of affirmitives, as they all crowded around the sink. They shared the same cup, passing it around as though they'd been doing it their whole lives, not just a few months.
They'd grow to be a strong unit. They'd beat Konoha's elite together, rising up to kick (as Jiraiya eloquently put it) 'major ass' when it came time for them to become chuunin, then jounin. They'd never be allowed to become ANBU, much like they'd never be accepted into Konoha's ninja school, however he'd train them like they were his own. He'd make them strong. With Jiraiya, Tsunade and his sensei's help, of course.
"Orochi-Mama, I know Kabuto's not here but could we get some dango?" Kidoumaru seemed far more comfortable now that he was out of the way of wary, curious eyes. His own dark eyes bright as he tugged on Orochimaru's pants leg.
"No! You know Ukon doesn't like it!" Sakon tugged at one of Kidoumaru's right arms, "We're having gyoza!"
Tayuya threw her two ryo into the argument, "You idiot, we don't like gyoza! Let's have barbequed food!"
"I want something sweet." Kimimaro said quietly, his small voice cutting through Sakon's oncoming tirade, "Can we have ice-cream, Orochi-Mama?"
Orochimaru smirked, "After we eat. And considering you all can't decide without insulting each other, Jirobo will choose what we'll eat." He closed the fridge door with a slight fwump sound and the sharp jingling of glass bottles and jars.
Jirobo seemed struck dumb from the obvious attention his words had warrented him. Orochimaru's being rung with a rather addicting, sadistic glee, as Jirobo squirmed where he stood.
"Um," The young boy ran his small, slightly pudgy hand through his orange hair, "Can't we go to a place that sells everything we want?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How'd you like the new nickname?" He could hear Tsunade's smirk as she sat down beside him, a small sake cup in her hand.
"It is rather befitting, I suppose," Orochimaru replied, his golden eyes never leaving his mob as they ordered their dinners (the unsuspecting fool who'd been made to take their order looked exhausted and rattled), "I'm sure Jiraiya will find it terribly amusing."
The restaurant wasn't at all fancy - it was the perfect place for families. Inexpensive and quite tolerant of the racket a child or a group of children made when they were either whinging, bawling or simply so excited they had to screech at the top of their lungs. Orochimaru was very close to kunai-ing the monster sitting to his left (he hadn't shut up since he'd arrived), or perhaps his parents for ignoring the child's shameful behavior.
The woman huffed in obvious amusement, sipping on her beverage, "I can make it go away." She eyed him, "If you tell me where you've hidden them."
Orochimaru barely blinked, "Tsunade, what on Earth makes you think I know where they are? I was fairly certain sensei had confiscated them all."
"Don't play coy with me, I know you took them! It's my last one!" Her hisses delved into a whisper, the smug gleam in her eyes having taken a poisonous air, "Where the hell did you put my sake?"
"What could have possibly made you think it was me?"
"You're the only one that would have gotten passed my slugs and somehow convinced them to not tell me."
Orochimaru smirked, thoroughly entertained. Aside from her current circumstances dealing with her missing sake, Orochimaru still found it amusing that the boys barely old enough to know what a bra was for, had made it a challenge of sorts to steal Tsunade's, hence the slugs.
Tsunade snorted, "I'll just have to encourage the kids to continue calling you what they have, won't I, Orochi-Mama?"
Orochimaru gave a simple shrug, "It is rather endearing. They haven't known me for very long; it brings a tear to my eye to know they think me worthy enough to be called such." His tone dripped with exaggerated appreciation, as his eyes slipped closed. Normally, such games would be left to his lover, however, this was a good thing and Orochimaru was beginning to feel an appreciation for being called such.
When his eyes opened, he found the kids on their way back to the table he was minding with his and their own food. Tayuya and Sakon seemed to be squabbling (again - Orochimaru could an unnessarsarily dramatic love affair in their future). Jirobo seemed stuck between his steaming bowl of ramen and making sure the two of them didn't raise their fists and feet at each other. Kidoumaru was picking at his mild curry, grinning whilst (again), sticking close to Jirobo. Ukon seemed keen to ignore his brother's antics and he and Kimimaro carried the plates of dumplings they'd ordered for themselves and Orochimaru.
He sat up in his seat, motioning to the already crowded table, "Would you like to join us?" He swiped the lilac vase from the centre of the table, careful that the daffodils didn't fall out, or the water slosh around, placing it under his seat as the children arrived.
Tsunade simply let out a huge huff, glared heatedly and stomped off, the floor shaking under their feet as she did. Orochimaru let him smirk, satisfied with his work.
Woffy: Oh, Orochi-Mama! I loves you! I don't care if you're sadistic and rather creepy some times!
I had a bit of trouble getting this from my head to paper - or the screen, as the case is. It was there, but you know... Refused to budge. Anyway... I've changed my mind; these will be in chronological order. As best as I can make them. If I find it impossible to continue, I'll let you know.
Oh, and before anyone asks, the reason why I made it that the kiddies wouldn't be able to be ANBU or go to school is because Konoha doesn't allow foreigners to become ANBU, and a family/child has to live in Konoha for a selected amount of time before their children can be allowed into school (I'm thinkin' something like five years). Call it a precaution, in case a kid's a highly skilled jounin in disguise - or something like that. XD
Now, please leave a review! I'll appreciate any comments (good or bad, long or short).