A/N: Okay so the title was originally going to be "For the Perfect Romance, Address the Elephant in the Room" but I changed it to "Addressing the Elephant in the Room" because it's shorter. And I don't know how to . At all. I'm a noob. I'm sorry. I'm just amazed I got this chapter posted! I'm such a noob I got excited over finding the chapter-update part… Yeah... And the horizontal line option is gone. Cool, cool. Guess I have to use a dash - until I find it, or whatever. Anyway, this chapter is from Kenny's perspective, and his life is not-so glamorous. There is apparently some Clenny (you know, Clyde x Kenny?), but it's more of an "acquaintances with benefits" type thing. Yeah. Totally crack.

Two- Kenny

It wasn't uncommon for Kenny to wake up with a pounding hangover. It also wasn't unusual for him to arrive at work at 9 am straight from Clyde's house. Kenny would go to the men's bathhouse to begin his shift as the ticket salesman, and Clyde would go straight to his shoe store. That's how it went every other day.

Kenny barely spent any time with his mother, sister, and brother (their parents had split four years ago, and Stuart left) anymore. He'd help them pay the bills as best he could, but he only made $20,000 a year like his mother and brother. $60,000 a year was better than the McCormicks had ever done, though, he had to admit.

That's why Karen was fortunate enough to have been able to go to community college. She'll make a whopping $30,000 a year all by herself teaching 4th grade in a few years, more than anyone else in the McCormick house had ever been able to make. And Kenny was proud of his little sister.

Now the best part of Kenny's day came about noon, when Mark Cotswolds would come to the bathhouse tentatively, fearing that someone would find out he was there on his lunch break. Five minutes later, Pete would come around. Kenny would spend the rest of the hour fantasizing about the different positions Mark and Pete use. When that got boring, he mentally added in Henrietta Biggle or himself. Sometimes both, like today.

God, Kenny was fucked up.

The rest of the day proves uneventful, and Kenny had nothing to look forward to. No Clyde (they "saw" each other yesterday), no girlfriend, no boyfriend, no regular friends that didn't make him feel jealous or depressed... Maybe if he had just one beer he'll feel better...

All alone, he manages to say to himself, rubbing his face with his hands, "God, I need a beer. And a nice fuck too."

No one would be surprised if they found out that Kenny and Clyde have sex regularly with no strings attached. Kenny had been given the label of "Slutty Man-Whore" back in ninth grade, after everyone found out Kenny had asked Heidi to have sex with him and a month later he had kissed Butters. And Red. And Clyde. And Bebe. And possibly Craig. What they didn't know, though, that Kenny did, was that it was all for show, so that Eric could never find out that Kenny was in love with him.

So far, Kenny's done a good job. A tragically good job, since now Eric is in love with Kyle. When did that happen? Kenny didn't know, but couldn't say he didn't care. God, how did Kenny fall in love with Eric? He was cocky, racist, intelligent, caring when he wants to be, funny, cute when he's flabberghasted… Damn, if Eric heard that, Kenny would get called a fairy.

Shrugging off that whole train of thought, Kenny ended his shift at five and walked home. Only Karen was home. "Welcome home, Kenny," she said, still tapping away at her computer. Probably writing an essay.

"Hey, Karen." Kenny went to the kitchen and made himself a ham and cheese sandwich.

"How was work today?" She asked Kenny nicely. Karen was always so nice to him.

"It was fine, nothing bad happened," Kenny replied. "What about you? How was school?"

"My stupid teacher is making me do a thousand word essay explaining how a good teacher acts or something. Everyone in my class is mad."

"Sorry, Karen." Kenny reentered the room with his sandwich and sat by his younger sister. "But you gotta do as the teacher says. That's how I managed to graduate with a three-point-oh."

"And I graduated with a three-point-six," Karen made a teasing face at Kenny.

"Shut up."

Their mother came home an hour later from work at Bennigan's. She produced a bag of fast food in her hands, no doubt food from her workplace.

"Welcome home, Mom!" Karen greeted her mother warmly.

"Hey, Mom," Kenny greeted his mother kindly.

"Hey kids." She pulled out her bags. "I brought home steaks from dinner. When you're hungry, feel free to cook one up." With that, Carol took a steak and left for the kitchen.

"Thanks, Mom!" Kenny and Karen said in unison. Karen prepared her steak shortly after that, while Kenny microwaved his at eight.

Kenny then did what he usually did; watch meaningless television while he drank beer after beer after beer. Drinking himself into a stupor the best way to forget everything; life is meaningless, and death is finite. He loves Eric so much is hurt, but he is never letting Kyle go. Kenny has to go to a reunion with his graduating class in two days, and he is in no way ready to face everyone. They're going to ask if he's still a man-whore, if not assume. But he is. He's having sex with a man that he isn't in a relationship with. Does he tell them that? Will Clyde? God, if Clyde tells them…

Kenny really is a man-whore. An easy, worthless man-whore.

He barely heard Kevin stumble in at eleven. By then, Kenny was too wasted to know either way. He hobbled over to his drawer to find a half-empty bag of barbecue chips and sat back down. He only ate a couple handfuls before he started sobbing.

Even as a drunken mess, he couldn't forget Eric. Especially since he's watching a commercial for Cartman's Chicken.

Kenny McCormick fell asleep that night, crying, with his hand in a bag of barbecue chips. His life was very fulfilling- working a minimum-wage job, drinking, crying, and sleeping. Damn, Kenny was a mess and he knew it.

A/N: Please note that whenever Kenny is referred to as a "man-whore", it's either to reference that specific label given to him in ninth grade or Kenny being hard on himself for how he's coping with Cartman's relationship with Kyle. Poor guy… Also. Thank you guys so much for reading my story! It would mean the world to me if you told me what you liked, disliked, how OOC a character is… Anything, to help me improve my writing and this fanfic. Thanks again! -stardustintheair