As I promised, next chapter today!
Disclaimer:
Everything, that in some way sounds like JK Rowling (characters, plot, dialogues, etc.) belongs to her.
The mistakes (spelling, grammar, whatever) are mine, though. So, if you find some which escaped me, please send them back. I'll care for them.
How could I've been so blind?
Chapter 1
When Dumbledore first got the news of James and Lily Potter's death, he didn't feel much. Only disbelieve. It couldn't be true. How could this have happened?
They were guarded, every possible protection charm was cast around their home. But somehow Voldemort must have broken through them.
Now he was back in his office. Harry was brought to his relatives and safe, until Voldemort would return.
It was then when the realization hit him. They were dead. He would never see them again. Grief washed over him, tears filled his old eyes. Dumbledore never thought he would mourn someone like that ever again.
Some minutes later he felt better. Crying heals the soul, it was said. The sorrow was still there, but he felt like he could handle it, at least for now.
Dumbledore took a few deep breaths, calmed himself. A more difficult task was waiting for him. He had to talk to Severus. He had to settle some things with the young man. It wouldn't be an easy conversation, that much was obvious.
With a sigh the old man got up and made his way towards the dungeons. It was a miracle to the headmaster why he had requested to live there. No other teacher ever asked that. Down there it was dark and cold, not very comfortable.
The nearer he got to the private chambers of his new teacher, the worse his feeling became. Surely due to his surroundings. He had never liked the dungeons, not even when he was a student. But he pushed that to the back of his mind.
If Severus knew? Most likely he did. He must have felt the Dark Mark fade away. Certainly he found out how this had happened. How did he take it? Yes, he said he loved Lily. But how much was this worth from a mouth of a Slytherin, especially a Death Eater?
Dumbledore reached the door. Again there was the feeling that something was terribly wrong here. Again he pushed it away. Surely it was nothing.
He knocked.
There was no answer.
He knocked again, louder this time.
Still no reply, only silence from within the chambers. Well, if the young man didn't want to talk to him, he would force him to.
The headmaster unlocked the door, stood in and closed it behind him. When he turned around he hit the wall as he backed away in shock.
There, behind his desk, sat Severus, his head rested on his left arm. He might have slept, if it wasn't for the pool of blood around his right hand. He had opened his veins, the blade still hold in his hand.
Dumbledore went over to the young man. Quickly he conjured bandages around the wrist. But he didn't know how much time had passed since his teacher had done this. He would have to take him to Poppy.
The headmaster sent his Patronus to her, telling the medi-witch what had happened and that he was coming now. Then he lifted Severus' almost lifeless body onto a magical stretcher and made his way to the infirmary.
Poppy was already waiting for him at the entrance, a worried expression on her face.
"Why did he do this?", she asked while they were bringing him to a separated chamber.
"I don't know. He left no note", Dumbledore replied. Probably he really loved Lily. But why should he decide to end his life then? It wasn't the end of the world after all. He grieved her as well, yes, but it had never crossed his mind to take drastic measures like that only because of ones death.
Meanwhile Poppy removed the bandages around Severus' wrist. The wound started to bleed again, but not as much as before. With a simple spell she cleaned the skin from the blood. What was reveled wasn't nice.
The wound was deep, maybe even deep enough to have left damage on the muscles. What shocked them most was the scar right next to it. An ugly scar, saying that this had happened before.
It gave no explanation to why he did it. But it was obvious that he would try again. Tears filled Poppy's eyes at this realization. She didn't know him, or really liked him, nevertheless she felt sorry for him. To even think of committing suicide was a sign that he was in a very bad mental state. To actually do it even more so.
"I fear I can't heal it completely. It must go the natural way. And it will leave another scar", she finally managed. "The only thing I can do is to fix the muscles beneath. At least he will have no problem with moving his hand afterwards."
Dumbledore just nodded, lost in thoughts. He still wondered what the reasons for this were. If Severus was affected by another one's death that much, even if it was a loved person, he certainly wouldn't have become a Death Eater. Surely he had seen others die, some at his own hands. Yet there was only one scar, only one other attempt. So this couldn't be the reason. At least not the only one.
"Do you mind if I cast a full diagnostic spell over him? I can't remember ever seeing him here when he was a student. And as he can't speak for himself, I have to ask you", Poppy interrupted his thoughts.
"Er … yes, just do it", he gave her permission. Severus probably wouldn't like it, but he was in no state to defend himself now. And he wouldn't agree later after he woke up. If he did.
The medi-witch conjured a piece of parchment to list everything what she might find. The list grew longer with every second, not stopping to name injuries for a few minutes. What Poppy read made every colour in face disappear. She had to sit down.
As I'm a mean person *evil smile* I'll let you wait for the next chapter till Friday or Saturday. No, the truth is, I do not have access to the Internet during the week, sorry for that, not my fault. At least I have time to write.
Please review!