things lost in the fire: riley i.
Summary: They chose to ignite the fire. Don't feel bad because they got burnt.
A/n: because I don't think Riley can be so forgiving in certain circumstances. This is not a Lucaya, Rucas, or a Rilaya love/friendship story.
While Riley may not be forgiving, she's also not the angel of the story.
Also, if you don't like the story, don't read it.
"Riley?" Farkle whispered setting down a cup of hot tea in front of the twenty-four year brunette. He sat down next to her. Riley stared blankly at the wall in front of her. "Riles," he nudged her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, what?" She snapped out of it looking up at her friend.
"Are you okay?"
"Okay about what?"
"How about the fact that Lucas and Maya got divorced? Or the fact that she's coming back?"
"Farkle, I'm over all that."
"No you're not. Look at you, you're super tense."
"Well, I am, okay?" She said irritated.
"Riley..."
"Farkle, do me a favor?"
"Yeah?"
"Stay out of it," she says cooly.
Lucas chose Riley.
He chose her, and she's never been happier.
Well, except for the fact that he chose her over Maya.
For some reason, she can never get over the guilt that overwhelms her. Sure, she may always joke with Maya about her broken family, but she knows that Maya is more sensitive than she lets on. Riley knows that she stepped back, and so Riley did the same for her.
However, Lucas chose her. And oh god, Riley wanted him. She wanted him so badly.
"It's okay Riles. I'm happy for you," Maya says with a smile and sad eyes. Riley just nodded and hugged her. It's this day that Riley vows to do whatever it takes to make her best friend happy.
She just wanted Maya to be happy too.
(Riley's just too naive.)
In retrospect, she should've seen it coming.
However, she never expected the two of them to betray her like that.
Her first clue was her return from Philadelphia after her grandpa Jed's death.
The two of them seemed closer to each other even Zay could see the change in them.
Lucas was acting apologetic being the perfect boyfriend. He kept buying her little gifts and taking her places. She's wary of his perfect boyfriend act because, yes, he's a great boyfriends, but not that great. It's weird, but she just shrugged it off to the fact that her grandpa just died.
Maya was acting distant at the same time. She dodged most of Riley's calls, and she didn't even know why. Sure in school or at Topanga's, Maya wouldn't be ignoring her, but Riley didn't feel her presences as much. The bay window was empty for a while. When she relayed this to Lucas, he got angry asking why his presence wasn't good enough for her.
"God Riley! Why are you two so dependent on each other? You need to learn to stand on your own two feet," he scolded her breaking his perfect boyfriend facade. They fought for a while after that.
"Maya is my best friend! I would do anything for her!"
"Yeah? You sure she'd do the same for you?" He spat out. Riley froze. Something in his tone worried her. His glare softened the moment he let those words out. He reached forward and embraced her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he said softly. She nodded lost for words.
"I love you," he pressed a kiss against her temple. She closed her eyes. She believed him.
Her second clue was the sex.
She had lost her virginity to Lucas when she was fifteen. They had been dating for a year already, and he kept pushing her to it. She wanted him as well because with a face and body like his, who wouldn't? In his generation, sex was a casual thing, but she had grown up with Cory and Topanga as her parents. They dated since they were children, but still waited for marriage to consummate their relationship. Riley wanted the same thing.
However Lucas told her that he loved her.
He told her that he wanted them to be forever.
At fifteen you believe everything you're told by the guy of your dreams.
So she loses her virginity to him, and it's awkward and okay. She's not even sure if she orgasmed the first time, but it was with Lucas. She loved him. She did.
Their sex for the next couple of years gets better, but stays pretty vanilla. He doesn't ask to try weird things or even new things.
Then things change one day.
He starts demanding her to talk dirty: to say vulgar things, to praise him. It makes her uncomfortable. He starts calling her his "dirty dirty girl" or his "little slut". He's rougher with her. He bruises her hips with his large hands and bites her all around. He's no longer gentle and caring with her.
She indulges the changes because she loves him. So even when she has to wear scarves in late August to cover up the hickeys and teeth marks he leaves, she lets him do what he wants. She's still finding pleasure in their sex, even if she's slightly uncomfortable with the dirty talk.
It's when he starts choking her, does she draw the line.
When she's twenty, Riley feels Lucas slipping. He comes back for winter break, and yeah, she's happy to see him. She picks him up from the airport, sign in hand. When he sees her waiting for him, he quickly runs towards her and sweeps off her feet. He plants a big kiss on her lips. It's a picture perfect, and Riley should be elated to see her boyfriend after months apart.
He sets her down, wraps an arm around her, and tucks her off to his side.
"God, I missed you," he says kissing her forehead. She smiles.
"I did too bubby," she cooes. When they drive off to the apartment that she shares with Maya, he immediately notices the blonde's absence.
"Where's Maya?" he wonders. At this point, she's used to Lucas and Maya's close friendship.
"She's in Philly with her mom and Shawn for the weekend. She'll be back on Monday," she replies.
"Oh, she didn't tell me that," he says out loud. Riley wonders how much they talk for him to make a statement like that, but she brushes it off as he starts taking off her clothes.
Later when they're lying in bed, she's draped over him happy and content. He has one hand running up and down her backside.
"I love you," he says. She just closes her eyes and nods.
(Maybe she's the one slipping away.)
Betrayal.
Hurt.
Pain.
Those are all the things she feels after Maya leaves.
She doesn't understand how this could've happened.
She gave them everything.
Uncle Josh is the one who calls her when Lucas and Maya elope. It's been two years, and Riley has erased and blocked them from all her social media. The pictures are still there, but not them.
"You alright?" Josh asks over the line.
"I don't know," she says honestly.
Later that night, she goes off the rails. She calls Kendra, her one of her major friends from NYU friend who's been begging her to come out with her for years. The next thing she knows is Kendra caking on make-up and fitting her into a size-too-small, pink body con dress. Her hair is curled and her heels are high.
"You look hot!" the short hair blonde says. For the first time in two years, she does feel hot.
So the two girls go out and hit the clubs. Kendra flirts with a promoter and gets them a table. There's a bachelor party going on next to them, and Kendra encourages Riley to talk to the best man. His name is Todd, and he's an investment banker. He's six foot two with slicked back-black hair and deep chocolate eyes. He buys her a bottle of champagne, and she finishes all by herself.
He takes her home without any objections.
When she wakes up with a pounding headache and no clothes on, she picks herself up and showers. She watches as the shower washes away all her tears.
"Maya is my best friend! I would do anything for her!"
"Yeah? You sure she'd do the same for you?"
Lucas' words haunt her.
Riley has always believed in things. That was just her M.O.
She believed in Pluto. It's always been a planet to her.
She believed in her parents. They were the two of the best people she knew, and they gave her the best of them.
She believed in her friends. Farkle and Zay proved to be loyal friends. They stuck by her when shit hit the fan, but she didn't understand how it got to that point.
She always believed in Lucas and Maya. They were two sides of the same coin. She always thought they were broken kids. She thought that all they needed was love. She happily gave it to them.
"Stay out of it," she snaps back to reality.
"No, it's been four years and we've barely talked about it," Farkle says wrapping an arm around her.
"There's nothing to talk about it!"
"Stop avoiding it Riley!"
"Farkle, they betrayed me! I did nothing but love them and they did this to me?! How am I suppose to feel about it?"
"Well, how do you feel about it?"
"I don't—"
"Don't say, 'I don't know.'" He scolds. "Riley, look inside yourself. How do you really feel?"
"Farkle, I...I..."
"It's okay Riley. Just be honest."
"Honest?"
"Honest."
"They're the worst pieces of shit to ever walk the earth. I can't believe that they did me like this. I always felt guilty you know? Because Lucas chose me," she said angrily.
"He did chose you," Farkle confirms.
"So why did he fall back on her? And Maya! We were best friends all our lives. We could read other's minds! How could she do this to me?"
"I don't know Riley."
"Exactly. How could I be so blind? I let some white trash whore steal my lyin' dickbag boyfriend."
"Whoa."
"After all I did for them. They treated me like this? You know at first, I thought I did something to them, you know? I thought it was my fault, but really, they were the selfish ones! All I did was love them. I loved them and they did this to me. Why? Why? Why?" Tears fell down her face.
"I really can't say," Farkle sighs. He wraps his arm around her. Riley cries into his shoulders. Later that night when her tears dry up, she feels better than she has for a long time.
(Truth is, she put them on a pedestal that they didn't deserve and was surprised when they fell.)