I leapt forward, the strange coordination of my muscles propelling me forward powerfully. My throat was burning and it felt as if the fire was spreading through my veins, like the venom was still doing its work. The smell I had followed, the smell emanating from the house was intoxicating and I knew the beings inside were the source They could stop the burning in my throat, I could see it in my mind's eye. They'd be sleeping at first, but a small eddying current of cool air would wake them, their screams would stick in their throats as my teeth clamped down and the sweet, cooling spray of rich blood…

Something, some surviving part of my human self was screaming in horror but it was drowned in pain, the all consuming pain that did not allow me to rationalize, to think, only feel. It doesn't matter. It was telling me. Kill now, think about it later. And I agreed.

I could have screamed in frustration when I felt a sudden tug at my waist and realised that Alice had read my intention split seconds before I executed it. If not for her ability I would already be feasting. At the back of my mind I was aware of the way I was acting, what I was turning into, but there was no help for it. My human conscience just wasn't strong enough to balance the pain I was in. I snarled and struggled to get free but just when I thought Alice was losing her grip, Emmett stepped forward and roughly grabbed my arms, pulling me off the ground.

"You have to control it Bella, you don't want to harm those people in there. I know you don't." That voice was Carlisle's, but I couldn't see him.

It hurts! I wanted to yell, but my eyes rested on Edward and the expression on his face had my protests dying in my throat. My mouth was filling with the strange tasting liquid in anticipation for a meal, it was like a sickly sweet version of aniseed. I understood then what it was. My struggles calmed a little and I turned my head to the side, uncharacteristically spitting the excess venom onto the ground, trying to rid myself of the taste of it, momentarily disgusted.

My eyes did not leave Edward and I watched his jaw tighten, saw the strain on his face. He was blaming himself, I could tell. I could almost see the regret etched on his perfect face. It hurt. And it hurt almost as much as the thirst that was burning through my body. He had turned me into a monster, and I was acting like a monster.

His beautiful topaz eyes flicked to Emmet behind me, in a silent order and I found myself dropped back on the ground. I landed competently on my feet, and I couldn't decide whether that surprised me or not. My muscles instantly bunched, but in the light of Edward's scrutiny, I stopped. It took a monumental amount of self-control to do just that. Relief was so close.

To my astonishment, Edward stepped forward and took my hand in a vice grip that would have broken my bones if I was still human. He carefully avoided meeting my gaze and proceeded to pull me toward the house. It was my turn now to hesitate, uncertain what it was he was doing, but that didn't last long. The scent was too enticing. I swallowed, trying to ease the all-consuming ache in my throat. My hand was trembling in his with the intensity of it. I did my best to walk just a little behind him, letting him lead, but it was hard, and I knew that if I had any tears they'd be streaming helplessly down my face.

I wondered at Edward's strange silence, but it's importance paled in comparison to my impending meal. My breath was coming in quick, short bursts, though I didn't need it and it wasn't helping, I still tried to use the cool air to alleviate the burn. If I'd been human, I would have missed Edward's next words, but as it was my heightened senses were trained curiously strongly on him. Instinct again, no doubt. He was the more experienced hunter after all.

"Keep quiet and stay close," he murmured. When I glanced at him I realised that his attention was focused on the house. I was so thirsty that it didn't mean anything to me that he was bringing me into this house, even though I knew he was going against everything Carlisle had taught him, everything he believed in. He was going to put innocent humans in danger by bringing me past their doorstep.

He let go of my hand for a moment, moving forward to a window that looked like it led into a lounge room. I watched as his fingers moved along the edges, then he lifted it smoothly, the white paned glass yielding with only the faintest whisper. The scent wafted out, stronger than it had previously, but before I could jump forward, Edward's hand was gripping mine again and he was leading me into the house. I bit my lip, climbing over the sill with relative ease. I remembered a time when I might have tripped and stumbled, then blushed, while Edward looked on in amusement. But of course, if I'd been able to do that, then we wouldn't be breaking into a house to kill its occupants.

He led the way up the stairs and I stayed close behind him, my senses focusing more and more with every step, until there was nothing other than the presence of the living, breathing prey. Nothing but the smell of the blood that coursed through their veins and nothing in that house but a way to relieve my unbearable pain. Edward's arm came out in front of me and I stopped, looking up at him in annoyance until he hissed under his breath. The hostile sound surprised me, but had me quieting. Instinct ordered me to submit in a way that was almost animalistic. I had a short flash of biology class.

We ascended a flight of stairs and he stepped ahead of me to open a white painted door. I almost whimpered with relief at how close I was to quenching my agonizing thirst, but remained quiet. There was a child curled up in baby pink sheets, blissfully unconscious and lost in its own dreamscape. I assumed it was a girl, no more than nine years of age. It took everything I had not to leap across the room and sink my razor sharp teeth into that pulsing jugular. Edward moved forward and without hesitation, used nothing but his thumb and forefinger in just the right place to knock the sleeping child out. The scary part was, it didn't bother me. My mind was clouding, pushing out any sense of my human self.

Edward looked over at me then, and there was something in his eyes that seemed shuttered, as if he was bracing himself to block out what was going to come next. He casually grabbed the human around the neck and lifted her up, a helpless offering. I stepped forward, and was one again surprised when Edward spoke.

"Are you going to hurt this child Bella?" He asked softly. It didn't seem he expected an answer. "Are you going to kill her? Spill her blood?" He then suddenly looked enraged, savage. He nicked the girl's throat with a nail, and I watched the shift of colour in his eyes, burnished copper, black, then topaz again as dark blood collected and began to drip down her throat. He held still, waiting, though it couldn't have been more than split seconds that passed before I was lunging forward, teeth bared, my body almost singing its release.

And again, it only took split seconds for me to freeze, mere inches away from the leaking cut and cringe. The smell of the blood, like salt and rust assaulted my nose, stronger than it had ever been when I was human and unthinkably, my stomach heaved. In a whirl of motion I was no longer standing in the bedroom of the big, beautiful house, Edward swept me up and out of the second story window with little real effort and deposited me on the grass in the front yard.

The Cullens were waiting and Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper moved forward as soon as we were in sight, as if to restrain me again, but Edward was shaking his head, lifting a hand to signal to them to stay back.

My stomach roiled and I retched, depositing globs of thick clear liquid on the ground, trying all the while to get a hold on myself. It was just typical, that I should have a reaction like this. Edward was right. My luck was horrible. When I started spitting blood Edward moved forward to rub my back, obviously unsure what to do. Apparently queasiness wasn't a common problem among vampires. All I knew was that the blood leaking from that girl's body was not the scent I'd smelled, and the pain had not receded.

After ten minutes, I was able to straighten and leant against a willow tree, appalled at my display. Carlisle was quickly at my side, frowning in confusion, much like the rest of the Cullens who were standing a few feet back as if they might contract whatever it was that was making me sick. I knew what it was though. I'd always been sick at the sight and smell of blood. There was no justice in the world.

"Wow," Alice skipped up unafraid, tilting her head slightly to look into my face. "Was it really that bad?"

I was focused enough to muster a glare, but was distracted when Carlisle spoke. "What happened?" He asked, looking at Edward. Obviously he didn't expect a coherent answer from me.

"She… got sick…" his voice trailed off, looking at me, the same puzzled and confused expression on his movie star face. As if I was supposed to make more sense of it than he did. Carlisle looked at me as well.

I could have cried. I was in so much pain and couldn't go near the only thing I knew would help? Why was the world so against me? I fought my knees as they threatened to buckle and stayed upright, clearing my throat. "It was the smell," I shuddered. That really was the only explanation I could give. I glanced up toward the window. That girl was safe now.

Carlisle looked even more confused. "The smell?" He questioned. At that moment Esme stepped forward. "Perhaps we should bring Bella back to the house?" She was looking at me with a measure of concern, no doubt seeing the strain and suffering etched on my face. There was always the possibility that I might snap and disregard my sickness after all. I remembered the smell of the blood and almost shuddered again. Tough chance. "Alice, we can bring something back to her for tonight."

Edward moved closer and slipped an arm around my waist, which I was immensely grateful for. I leant on him a little, allowing him to take part of my weight. By this time I was trembling with pain and more than anything I wanted to sate the excruciating burn, the sharp shooting pains in my stomach. I clenched my teeth on the scream that wanted to tear from my throat and Edward's arm tightened.

I didn't take in any more of the conversations that were going on around me, the roaring in my ears was too loud. I wanted it to go away, to leave me alone. What I wouldn't give for the simple solace of sleep. Edward was murmuring something in my ear, but the words, or the meaning of them was lost. It wasn't important, nothing was important, only stopping the pain. I would have tried to break away, find something, anything to slake the fire in my throat but now I was frightened. What if there was nothing? Would I have to live with this pain for the rest of my immortal life?

Ok, I had to focus on something else, anything else. What was Edward saying?

"I will, I'll help you Bella, you won't suffer because of me. Just wait a little longer. Just a little longer." It was an endless litany of comforting words, whispered against my ear in a way that would have had my heart racing as a human, but now I could only listen passively, focusing on his voice to lessen the throbbing. Only then did I realise the soft pleas that were leaving my lips. Edward please, it hurts. Please make it stop. The beautiful, intoxicating scent was still there, still enticing, but if it wasn't the blood, then what was it?