Starships and Spitwads
by icypinkpop
Pairing: Zim & Dib Friendship (ZaDF)
Disclaimer: Jhonen Vasquez gets all the glory for these two.
Warnings: Not many…Perhaps a little OOC-ness, and slight language.
Author's note: Well this is a…surprising return. How long has it been since I posted any fanfiction?
I couldn't help but want to write a story about these two. Apparently I live under a rock, because at the ripe old age of 19 I've only now discovered Invader Zim. And what a great discovery that was.
This really isn't supposed to be ZaDR-y, but going in with preconceived notions takes out all the fun, so please, I encourage you to interpret it as you wish.
My overall goal in writing this was to stay as in-character as possible. I love these guys, so I wanted to capture them as best I could. I hope that you can give me some feedback on how you think I did.
Enjoy!
o~o~o~o~o~o~o
o~o~o~o~o~o~o
Dib didn't remember where he was when he began his return to consciousness. He was just focusing on how good he felt- calm, like his insides had been fighting a battle against some virus and had finally won. Body amazingly fluid and relaxed, the boy kept his eyes closed and took a deep breath, unwilling to move or to open his eyes. It was so soft, whatever he was laying on. Wait…what WAS he laying on?
Slowly, memories began to come back to Dib. He remembered running out of class, gripping a bunch of door-handles, the feeling of intense desperation. His brow twitched in his half-conscious state. He remembered the burning of the sunlight in his eyes, ducking into some dark place, and…that was it.
Shifting slightly, he felt the softness beneath him adjust to his weight. Wherever he was…it didn't feel familiar. Was there some way he had managed to get back home? Shifting again, Dib experimentally opened one tired eye, only to feel his insides shrink up sharply in horror.
Two big, pink eyes stared right into his single open one, gleaming in the darkness.
"…GAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Alarm bells ringing off painfully loudly in his head, Dib scrambled over the soft surface and floundered for something to use to shield himself, yelping as he accidentally shoved himself back against the arm of what, upon closer inspection, appeared to be a big maroon sofa.
"…greetings, vile Dib-beast."
Dib found himself unable to move. There opposite him on the sofa sat his familiar red-eyed nemesis, staring at him pointedly with a rather wicked look on his face. Heart beating and palms sweating, the boy did his best to scoot back further. Where was he? How had he gotten here? And how on EARTH had ZIM gotten ahold of him?
"Hahahaha!" Obviously finding great amusement in the human's distressed confusion, Zim smirked and stared unblinkingly at his arch nemesis. "Oh, Dib-thing! Your antics are so very AMUSING!"
"…where am I?" Dib managed, sweating increasingly worsening as he began to realize his predicament. Here he was, alone, no weapons on him and without his wits, aching…captured. Casting a wary glance over his shoulder, Dib shuddered as he found himself staring into the wide-eyed gaze of some kind of disturbing yellow monkey image that hung on the wall, blood draining out of his face.
"…your base!"
Zim laughed again, still wearing his unflinching smirk. "Very perceptive, Dib-thing. Then again, what did you expect?" He inched closer to the middle cushion of the couch, causing Dib's heart to leap into his throat again. "You practically GAVE yourself to Zim! Surely this was what you anticipated, no?"
Oh god…the jerk was messing with his head now. Eyes burning, Dib affixed his opponent with as unflinching a stare as he could muster. "I-I did not," he defied, sure it was a trick or a lie intended to throw him off. "Liar."
To Dib's vague amusement, it was Zim's turn to stare in confusion.
"…you were laying unconscious against the wall of Zim's house," Zim replied matter-of-factly, one eye narrowing. "Was this not as you intended, Dib-stink?"
"…" Dib felt like his mouth was full of sand. Against Zim's house…Was that even possible? He remembered darkness, an alley. Oh god…Zim's house was IN an alley.
Gritting his teeth, feeling like he should be angry and outraged, Dib glared stiffly into Zim's eyes, reaching up in pain, however, when his eyes began to burn again. From what he could tell, this surprised Zim, since the alien simply sat there and watched him, one of the black antennae cocking noticeably forward.
"What afflicts you?" his nemesis asked, reaching out swiftly with a gloved hand. Before Dib knew it, three fingers were around his black lock of hair, and his head was wrenched down painfully to meet Zim eye-to-eye.
"Wh-what are you talking about? Let me go!" Dib cried out painfully, gritting his teeth and reaching up to shove him off. He groaned as he was tugged in even more forcefully, going limp for a moment as the ache in his head throbbed painfully, making itself known again.
"…You look rather dead," came Zim's voice again, tone seemingly curious. To Dib's relief, his hair was released, but that didn't stop those red eyes from staring right into his like two big glaring lights. "Pity the almighty ZIM wasn't the one to put you in such a state!" Grinning in a way that made Dib's stomach churn, Zim sat back and watched Dib for a moment, only to lean back in and peer creepily into the human's eyes.
Freaked out to say the least and trying to think of a way out, wondering why on Earth all these sorts of things had to happen to HIM, Dib looked from side to side as inconspicuously as possible, not wanting Zim to anticipate that he was making a run for it.
"Your eyes…" Seemingly more perplexed than anything now, Zim leaned in and, much to Dib's horror, reached out and pinched harshly on the skin right under his left eye. "They are dark, but the rest of you is pale." The invader sat back, previously smug expression having been replaced with one of pondering.
"What has happened to you, Dib-thing?"
Dib winced. He wanted OUT. He had never felt so uncomfortable in his life!
"Nothing's HAPPENED to me, Zim. Just…leave me alone!" Reaching behind himself, he slid one hand into the pocket of his trench coat, putting on his most convincing smirk.
"I have the cuffs. I'll cuff you."
Zim laughed, and Dib knew the ruse hadn't worked.
"What a filthy little liar. You don't think I checked you over beforehand, pitiful human?" A toothy grin. "Besides! You are in MY base, Dib. Do you not expect that were you to pull some of your inferior Earth-technology on me, I would have ample defenses and then some to thwart your foolish little plan?"
Oh god. He'd checked him over while he was unconscious? …Ew.
Dib felt even more blood rushing from his face, presumably to other parts of himself, though he felt like he was draining completely. Zim was right…and he knew it. Normally he would have fought tooth and nail against anything Zim said, but man did he hurt…Taking a breath, he contented himself with sitting stilly and keeping his eyes open with the slowly returning strength, watching Zim suspiciously. Maybe he could stall…
"You haven't been in skool lately, Zim," he finally commented, narrowing his eyes a little further. It was true- Dib had gone in every day that week, only to see that familiar desk completely devoid of alien scum. It hadn't begun to bother him until Tuesday or Wednesday had rolled around- Zim sometimes didn't bother to go to skool, but normally he returned after a day or two, probably to appear as 'normal' as possible. It was a little unnerving, not seeing him there. Dib could only suspect that Zim - sickeningly- was working on some kind of genius evil scheme or something equally horrible.
"So?"
"So?" Dib sat up and bravely stuck his head out, glaring. Zim was really starting to piss him off. "So why haven't you?"
Zim waved his hand at Dib. "Nothing of interest, Dib-thing. At least…nothing I'm interested in telling you." He smirked slowly at the boy, sending chills up the young investigator's spine. Seemingly figuring he had answered the question well enough, Zim then scooted forward and did an absolutely terrifying thing.
Pushing forward, Zim promptly sat on Dib's chest and pinned him down, grinning into his face.
Oh god! Certain Zim was prepared to slit his throat or pull one of his eyeballs out, Dib winced noticeably and, for once, turned his head to the side to break eye contact. He just wanted to go home! He didn't want to fight with this evil bastard right now!
"So tell me, Dib-thing," the alien continued, staring unflinchingly down at him before reaching out to curiously poke on the area he had pinched before. "About your…dark-eye diz-eeze, or whatever it is you have."
Dib groaned. Not this again.
"Just…sh-shut up, okay? It's none of your business." Dib would have yelled, but he was scared his air supply might be cut off…For once, Zim seemed to have a decided advantage.
"Oh, but it is my business. It is MY job to end your pitiful existence, is it not?" A pause, followed by a chilling "I can't have whatever eye-ickies you seem to suffer from doing away with you before I get the chance to finish you off."
"…I'm not saying anything until you tell me why you haven't been at school," Dib spat out in return. He didn't want to tell Zim why he looked so terrible, anyways- but he could always lie. Say he was sick, or something. Covered in germs. He knew Zim wouldn't react too favorably to THAT. Maybe that would get him to let him go!
"Hmm…" Zim, surprisingly enough, seemed to be considering it. "Let's just say I have been working on….private matters. Contact with my leaders, and such things. GENIUS, no?" His resounding chuckle seemed to poke fun at the human's helplessness.
"Now, back to your eye...thingy." Again, he reached out to pinch and poke at Dib's under-eye darkness, only to blink in surprise as his wrist was grabbed.
"STOP." Dib had had enough. Sitting up and forcibly knocking the Irken from his chest, the boy tightened his grip on Zim's arm. He no longer felt scared and he had forgotten his lie…He was angry. He wanted Zim to shut up and leave him alone!
"I'm just…TIRED, okay, ZIM? I'm tired! I've been up for, like, ten days without sleep! Happy now?"
Zim watched the human in surprise, both eyes rather large. Dib was surprised he had admitted this to his enemy, but he was more surprised at Zim's reaction to it.
"Sleep…so THIS is what happens when a human does not sleep?" Zim thought aloud in a voice that sounded like that of somebody taking notes as they listened to an interesting lecture. Dib said nothing and, to his great discomfort, found himself with a face-full of alien again.
"Are there OTHER symptoms of this…lack of sleep, then?" he inquired, looking Dib up and down for a few moments before sitting back, face showing a slightly disappointed expression, as if he had been expecting something he hadn't been able to find.
"Well?"
"…gee, I'm not sure," Dib replied sarcastically with a roll of eyes, feeling his head throb painfully again. "You really don't know about sleep, Zim? How long have you been here?"
"Zim knows about your 'sleep'! He just finds it ridiculous how you pitiful HUMANS seem to need such a ridiculous thing," the alien replied, leaning in again as if to make Dib uncomfortable intentionally and speaking in the disgusting tone of a scientist observing a pinned animal. "So…what are the other problems Dib-thing feels as a result of being 'without sleep'?"
Dib lost it.
"Oh, I don't know, ZIM! How about headaches? Stomach aches? Feeling DEAD all the time like a zombie?" Anger getting the better of him, Dib reached out for a cushion and promptly threw it at Zim before the alien could stop him, feeling a sort of sick satisfaction in his gut when it smacked the surprised invader right in the face.
"Dib-"
"How about feeling useless? Like you just want to pass out all the time? HOW ABOUT THAT, ZIM?"
Aware his nemesis would recover at any moment, Dib eyed the knob to the men's room door sealing the alien fortress and sprung over the sofa, grasping it with both hands. He heard Zim shout something to the computer and felt the throbbing vibrations as the familiar intruder-alert alarms sounded, wincing. Now or never.
"DIB-THING!"
With all his strength, the boy pulled at the door and watched as it miraculously swung open in front of him, hearing footsteps behind him but feeling too much relief to care. Breaking into a fast, immediate sprint into the night air, Dib navigated across the lawn and ran off into the distance as fast as his feet could carry him, trench coat whipping around his legs with the wind and threatening to trip him. Dib's heart pounded, cold sweat began to trickle down his body, and his lips curved upwards into a smile. He was free.
Take that, Zim!
Dib's speed did not falter when he heard a (surprisingly) curious voice calling out for him, but his mind did. In the background, around the cold gusts of air and his own thoughts, Dib heard the familiar voice shouting after him, but could only just make out what it was saying.
"Why do you not sleep, Dib-stink?" A pause, and then the same, repeated.
"Why do you not sleep?"
o~o~o~o~o~o~o
o~o~o~o~o~o~o
I hope you enjoyed the first real chapter. I'm not really sure how long I expect this story to get, so I hope you'll keep tuned in and see where it's headed, if it interests you :3
Also, something is either up with my computer, or with this website, because it won't allow me to put a question and exclamation mark together in my story...It reduces it to a question mark for some reason. Thus, some of the dialogue isn't quite as punchy as I want it to be. Sorry U.U