C: (unconvincingly) Why, there's no-one there!
E: (drawls) Your acting sucks, cherie. I know that fancy-pants, whatisname, is out there with my ex-best mate.
C: Oh bugger…I mean, no, no-one is there!
E: (unconvinced) Riiiight…
----
C: You are not the Angel of Music…You are the Opera Ghost!
E: (sarcastically) No shit, Sherlock.
From off-stage, you can hear Holmes yelling "Oi! I take offense at that!"
----
E: Beware of the grasshopper, it jumps…and it jumps jolly high!
C: (looks confused) It's an inanimate bronze figurine…
E: (rolls eyes) It's a metaphor!
Pause
C: I knew that.
----
E: (singing) My power, over you-
C: (interrupts) – is non-existent, freak-face!
E: (continues as if she has not spoken) – grows stronger yet…
C: Hello?! Did you lose your ears along with your nose?
E: No, you twit, I'm ignoring you!
----
E: I have saved you to please my wife.
D: Oh please, Erik, only a mother could love that face, and even THAT didn't happen for you!
----
E: (singing) Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation…
Christine comes out of her trance and slaps him across the face.
C: How DARE you?!
----
Erik is rowing the boat with a semi-conscious Christine in it.
C: Ugh…I think I'm gonna hurl…
E: (concerned) Are you sea-sick?
C: Technically, we're not on the sea…but no, I was referring to your face.
----
E: (indicates coffin) This is where I sleep.
C: Eww. Either you're a vampire or a corpse…neither of which is appealing to me, by the way.
----
E: If you wish to leave, you shall never see Erik's face.
C: (pause) OK. Inferiority complex. Gotcha.
----
The managers of the Opera House have been ignoring Erik's requests, so he now decides to take drastic measures.
Managers: (reading from the letter) 'Apologies for the sudden letter, just testing my new mailing system. Apparently black-edged letters of doom don't seem to have the same effect on you anymore. Signed, O.G. PS. This message will self-destruct violently in 5 seconds.'
----
What would happen if we locked Severus Snape, Sherlock Holmes, Erik and Dr Gregory House (maybe Captain Jack Sparrow as well…just for the hell of it ;) ) in a room together...well, this is what austenfan1990 and I thought would happen :D
austenfan's take
Snape: Merlin's beard…now I hope all of you have brain capacities larger than a goldfish otherwise we're going to have a hell of a lot of trouble…(growls menacingly)
Holmes: I never thought I'd say this, but where is a woman when you need one? (moans) Why must I put up with such disagreeable characters?
House: (sarcastically) Right, this is gonna be fun…arguing over who has the largest fanbase…
Erik: (trying to look positive) Well, at least…that prat Raoul isn't here…(we suddenly poof Raoul in and Erik slaps his forehead) I said too much too soon….
My take – 1
Sparrow: That's interesting (teeters drunkenly and flops next to Holmes, taking a gulp of his rum)
House: Who the hell are you guys?!
Sparrow: Would've thought it was rather obvious, mate. I'm Cap'n Jack Saprrow!
Holmes: My dear Doctor, it is rather elementary, is it not?
Snape: (rolls eyes) Oh, Merlin, another dunderhead.
House: (snidely) Well, aren't we mature? Where'd you get the insults, the 70's? Or was that where you got the dress?
Snape: Robes!
House: (feigns a look of realization) Oh! It must have been the last time you washed your hair!
Snape: (enraged) How DARE you?!
They continue to bicker. Holmes is very much amused and is sharing the rum with Sparrow whilst watching, but Erik is getting very annoyed.
Erik: (sweetly) Will I have to use the Punjab Lasso, monsieurs?
At the mention of "Punjab lasso", they look at him in horror and shut up.
Erik: (satisfied) I thought not. Hand me that bottle, Sparrow.
Sparrow: (grins) Aye, mate.