Not Myself Tonight

A/N: Heyy! Well, I have decided, to make this a Mini-Fic, with about...5-7 chapters! Ahaha, I hope it is good! And, here is chapter 2, Tell Me Lies. Um...yeah. So...just read...let me know what you think...ya know...the usual! Oh yeah, and it is an Ashley Tisdale song. Gotta love her. Ahaha

Disclaimer: Don't own shiet!

Tell Me Lies

Paul's POV

I was expecting this morning to be awkward, but it wasn't. In fact, I woke up alone this morning. As I showered and got dressed, I had began thinking that it was all a dream. And then when I finally saw Jake, while Sam was checking us out of the hotel, he was acting like nothing happened. Right now, we were all deciding who would drive with who since there were two many of us to fit in one car. Sam had driven his jeep, and Quil brought his Toyota Camry. This was my chance to talk to Jake without anyone noticing.

"Hey," I nudged him with my elbow to get his attention, "did I do something wrong last night?"

The rest of the pack was a bit ahead of us, while Jake and I were kinda separated from then in the back.

"Um, no." He looked confused.

"Then why are you acting like that?" I asked in a low, frustrated whisper.

"Acting like what?" He asked as he cocked his head to the side, making him look cute and innocent.

"Like nothing happened between us!" My voice was starting to rise a bit.

"Well..." He looked a bit more confused than before, "isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well...I don't know! Just stay near me." I growled with small frustration before just grabbing his arm and pulling him over to Quil's car, "We'll ride with Quil and Embry." I said as I grabbed Jake's overnight bag and put it in the trunk, along with mine and Quil and Embry's bag. I closed the trunk and got into the backseat with Jake.

"So what do you want?" He asked in a low whisper before Quil and Embry occupied the driver, and passenger's seats.

"Alright guys, let's get going!" Quil said enthusiastically.

The ride was very quiet. The whole time, I was thinking about Jake's question. What do I want? I want him...but at the same time I want Rachel. But, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I just can't believe how confusing things got over the course of one night. I had never considered myself as gay, or even bi. Before Jake, there had only been girls. And then I laid my eyes on Rachel Black, and I thought that she would be the love of my life, for the rest of my life. I was not expecting to be imprinted on by her younger brother, Jacob Black. Within one night, he changed my whole way of thinking. I shifted my gaze from the window, to Embry and Quil's hands, which were interlaced and sat on top of the thing in-between the two front seats. Just sitting in the same care as them, one could feel the love that they felt for each other. I began wondering if I could ever be like that with Jake.

Just as his name crossed my mind, I felt something press against my side. I turned to see Jake leaning across the seat, leaning into my side, fast asleep. The sight brought a smile to my lips. I let myself drape an arm around his shoulders and hold him lightly as he slept. Normally, this would be so wrong and I would push him away from me; but now, this seemed so right and natural. There was this animalistic feeling inside of me, like my wolf was becoming possessive of Jake. I let my eyes wander his sleeping form, or at least what I could see from this angle. His head shifted a bit, and my eyes were immediately drawn to the big red love mark on his neck. A wide, satisfied smirk graced my face as I remembered how I had marked him as mine.

Then I began to frown as I realized that we were almost home. It only deepened when I remembered that Rachel was going to be at the Black residence. I hadn't even began thinking about what I was going to tell her, or if I would even tell her anything at all. I couldn't really focus on anything other than Jake for the whole car ride. and before I could even realized what was happening, we were pulled into the Black family's driveway. I quickly removed my arm and gently shook Jacob awake.

"Jake, wake up. We havta get out so Embry and Quil can begin eating each other's faces again." I joked, and the small snickers that they both let out let me know that I was probably right.

He let out a low groan as he slowly sat up straight and began wiping the sleep from his eyes, causing me to wish that I had been able to see that this morning.

"Thanks for the ride guys." He spoke softly as he opened the car door.

"Yeah, thanks guys. See ya tomorrow at the meeting." I patted Quil on the shoulder before I got out of the car. I quickly moved to the back of the car and, Quil popped the trunk from inside, and I grabbed both mine and Jake's bags. Jake closed the trunk and we began walking to the front door.

I could practically feel his spirits drop when he opened the door and stepped inside. I dropped our bags by the entrance and was almost immediately ambushed by Rachel Black as she jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck, smashing her lips against mine. The action only caused my confusion to increase because her lips didn't feel the same as they had before last night. I mean, her kissing still felt pretty good, and then my body was still reacting...but it just wasn't the same.

I placed her back down on her feet and we pulled away from each other a bit. Her deep chocolate eyes, reminded me of Jake's. Her long silky black hair still felt the same as it had before. Her perfect tan skin color was just as golden as I remember. She gave me one more quick peck on the lips before we both let go of each other. She turned around and hugged Jake tightly. I watched him try to mask his pained expression, but things weren't working out for him.

"Oh my God, Jake what happened to your neck?" She asked as she gently touched my mark on his neck.

His eyes quickly shifted to meet mine, but went back to his sister. "Um...it was someone from the club. We just got a little hot and heavy. She was a babe." He smirked.

A low growl emitted from me, which I tried my hardest to muffle with a cough, but I couldn't help but feel angry at the lie that he told.

"Oh yeah? Well good for you lil bro." She patted his chest before turning back to me, "As for you Mr. Meraz. I was incredibly lonely without you." She said in a low seductive whisper.

"Well guys, I'm a little tired so I'm just gonna go get some sleep." He went off in the direction of a small hallway and then shut his door.

Rachel and I continued to kiss for a little bit, in the same spot. I tried to stay focused on the beautiful woman in my arms, but my mind kept wandering back to Jake. My body had stopped reacting, in fact, my reaction was completely gone. I kept trying to focus, until eventually I just gave in and broke away from her, separating from her completely. I went to pick up Jake's bag and told her that I would go see if Jake was feeling okay because he seemed kind of sick earlier. A pretty good excuse if you ask me. I had to restrain myself from practically running to his room, but I eventually got there and quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"Paul, what're you-" He began asking confused. He was standing, shirtless, and I felt my pants grow a bit tighter. So, instead of letting him finish, I cut him off as I dropped his bag on the floor and pushed him up against the nearest wall, pinning his hands above his head. I wasted no time before I smashed my lips to his with hot wanton passion and fervor.

I pressed my body up against his, showing him how he affected me with even just the simplest look. I could feel his own hard-on press against my body, and began bucking my hips ever so slightly, causing the sweetest, yet slight, friction between us, bringing a moan from the both of us. I moved my lips away from his, and began leaving a trail of soft, sweet kisses along his jaw and down his neck until I found my mark and left one final kiss before I pulled away, causing a low whimper to escape from Jake's lips.

"Why did you say that?" I asked in a low, deep and husky, whisper. "Why did you lie about my mark?" I ran my thumb over the spot, and Jake took his bottom lip in-between his teeth.

"I was going to wait for you to tell me that it was okay..." He trailed off into a small, and weak whisper as he watched my tongue sweep it's way across my lips.

"Well from now on, whenever people ask you about a mark, because there will be more in the future, you say that you can't remember what happened. Alright?" I tried to sound controlling and in command, but my voice betrayed me when I sounded caring and lusting instead.

He slowly nodded, silently accepting my rule. "Okay then, I'm gonna go home." I looked at my wrist watch and saw that it was nearly six in the afternoon. The drive really did last longer than I thought it had. "I want you to be at my house at ten ten o'clock tonight." I lowered my lips to his for one more, passionate, yet quick kiss before releasing his hands, "I'll be waiting for you babe."

He seemed to be starstruck by the word, and I let a cocky smirk cross my lips as I captured his one last time before turning and leaving the room. I had to stay in the hallway for a bit to try and will my hard-on away, before I traveled to the kitchen and found Rachel placing a glass of juice on a tray that already had food on it. I figured that it was for Billy, so I moved out of the way as she carried the tray off towards his room. Billy Black didn't like the fact that Rachel and I were together, and he was furious when he had found out that I imprinted on her. One would think that he would've gotten over it after two years, but nope. He was still the same as he had been from day one.

"So," Rachel spoke as she re-entered the kitchen, "how was it? Were they a bunch of girls trying to get with you?"

No, only your brother.

"No, there wasn't any of that happening. I just hung out with your brother for most of the night." Which wasn't a complete lie since we really did spend most of the night together...we just weren't in the club.

"Oh that's good. But now it's my turn to spend some quality time with you." She smiled as she grabbed my hand and led me back to her room. We kissed the whole way, and once we got into the room, and onto the bed, I was completley at ease, and relaxed...but once it was over...I couldn't help but compare her to Jake. And much to my dismay, he was better. Now that I think about it, Rachel has never given me a blow job; and Jake did it the first time that we were together. And so, curiosity over took me.

"Why haven't you ever blown me before?" the words slipped out of my mouth before I could think of a nicer way to ask.

"Um..." Was her first response, "well, I don't know. You've never asked."

"Well...would you do it if I had asked?"

"Probably not." She sat up in the bed, covering herself with her white sheet.

"Why not?" I continued with the questions as I did the same, but let the sheet rest on my waist line.

"Well...what's in it for me? Nothing. I don't get any pleasure from it...so why would I do it?"

Well...what's in it for me?

Those words had rung throughout my mind for the past hour. So Rachel was a selfish lover, I had known that before...so why did it hurt me when I realized that she didn't care to please me? I mean, my reason for living was to please her in any way that I possibly can, but she couldn't be bothered to return the favor? And then Jake...Jake would do anything to please me, because I'm his imprint.

Ugh, shit, I really need to figure this shit out. I can't keep this up. The more time that I spend with Rachel, the more I hurt Jacob. The longer I stay with Jacob, the worse things will get for Rachel and I.

I had decided to go and talk to Sam before I go to the council, to see if he knew anything that could possibly help me with my current situation. To be completely honest, I was kind of scared of how the council will react. I'm not really worried about the whole, gay thing, because they fully support Quil and Embry's relationship. I was more afraid of the fact that I am basically betraying the tribes tradition by cheating on my imprint. The council, as well as majority of the citizens La Push, take tradition very seriously.

I was in my wolf form, running to Sam and Emily's house right now; and thankfully I was the only one that was phased. I was alone with my thoughts, and I was grateful for that fact. I let my mind wander to Jacob, and the way he looked as his face was twisted in pleasure underneath mine. I wanted to just...be able to be there for him and give him everything that he wants, but at the same time, I want to be there for Rachel too. UGH! I'm so fucking confused!

As I got closer to Sam's house, I phased back and pulled on the shorts that were tied around my leg. I came out of the trees and went to knock on Sam's door.

"Paul, what's up?" Sam answered the door with a friendly smile gracing his features.

"Sam, do you think I can tell you something...and you can like, keep it a secret or something?" I rubbed the back of my neck with one hand, while the other was shoved in my pocket.

"Of course, come on inside." He waved me into the house as he stepped aside, allowing me to fully enter his house, closing the door behind me. He led me to the dining table and sat down in the seat across from the one that I sat at. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Um, well..." I didn't really know how to say it any other way but bluntly, "is it possible to cheat on an imprint?"

He looked a bit...taken back by my question, "Well...there were very rare cases in our pack's history where a pack member has...uh, how do I put this...re-imprinted. So, in these cases...if I remember correctly, they would still have feeling for their first imprint, but the new imprint would eventually grow stronger." He gave me a look that seemed to ask if I was still following along. "So, they would naturally leave their first imprint to be with their new one. But there were complications in some cases."

This seemed to pique my curiosity, "Complications?"

"Well, the council members that were in charge during a few of these times saw this as betrayal to the tribe's traditions, so the re-imprinter was banished from La Push."

Shit, that's exactly what I was afraid of. Fuck, and now that I know that my feelings for Jake will only grow stronger as time goes on, this was going to be an inevitable factor of the future. But at least now I know what to be prepared for when that time comes. Maybe I should just, up and leave without telling anybody. Jake would come with me, and we would be able to build a happy life together.

"Paul...is there something else that you wanna tell me?" He asked suspiciously.

"Sam," I looked at him, my usual calm, cool, hot-headed facade was faltering as worry took it's place, "I cheated on Rachel...with Jacob."

A look of shock seemed to cross his features before he quickly composed himself, "Well, are you going to tell them?"

"Jake knows. He...well he imprinted on me. So, he really wants me to be with him, ya know?"

Sam slowly nodded, taking in this new piece of information, "But Rachel has no idea?" I shook my head, "Well, maybe you should wait. Just for a few days, and then tell her. Maybe...maybe this is just a phase." He sounded hopeful, as if he wanted that to be the truth.

I didn't. I wanted Jacob.

"Alright." I lifted my eyes from the table-top to meet his gaze, "Are you going to tell the pack?"

He shook his head, "I'll wait until you and Jake are ready to tell them."

"Okay...thanks a lot Sam." I smiled at him, and he returned it as I stood up from the table, "Well...I think I'm just gonna go back home."

"Alright, and come back anytime, maybe bring Jake next time. It would be better to talk about it with the both of you." He walked me to the door and held it open, "Don't forget the meeting tomorrow!" He shouted out to me as I walked into the trees to phase.

It wouldn't be much longer until I would be able to see Jacob again...not that long.

Jake's POV

Almost ten. I should probably get going so that I'm not late. I would probably be running fast too, so I might even be early. I didn't mind being early, that just means that I would get to see Paul sooner. And everyone in my house was busy so getting out of the house should be easy. I was already dressed in some jean cut-offs, and I was simply waiting for the right time to roll around before I make my great escape. And why would I have to sneak out, or escape? Because for some reason, Rachel had gotten it in her head that I was sick, so she didn't want me leaving the house for the rest of the night.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and checked both ways before creeping out into the hallway. Then I crept down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible as I stepped off of the last step. Then I heard the hushed whispers...

"Stop! At least wait a little while longer!" It was Rachel speaking, "Jake is upstairs, and he might hear us!"

"Nah, that little runt won't hear shit, if somebody would keep their moaning down low!" I hear...Jarred's voice spoke next. "Let's just do it...c'mon, just a little quickie!"

"Jarred! Oh my God, you're way to energetic! I think you want it more than Paul." She giggled.

Then I heard something that made my heart drop.

Kisses, moans, and groans.

Rachel was cheating on Paul.

It's in your eyes, feelings can't be disguised

Cause the truth makes me want you to tell me lies

My biggest fear is crying oceans of tears

I would rather you not be so sincere

How cold could you be?

What would you do if you were me?

I'm better off if it's a mystery

Cause I don't wanna know

If I kissed your lips for the last time

Please don't say if it's so

Tell my heart it's not goodbye

And do this one thing for me

Make up some stupid story tonight

It's alright, keep your truth and tell me lies

Something's not right, love is nowhere in sight

I'm not ready to let go, it's not time

How cruel could you be?

Do say it's through least not to me

I'm better off, leave it a mystery

-Ashley Tisdale

A/N: Soooo, how was it! I threw in some drama there. Ahahaha, is it good enough to continue? Let me know! I'll update again if I get enough reviews...

Notoriously Yours,

GoinnGaGa