Ink on Blank Paper
"I walked inside wanting to get a closer look at the shelves. Honestly, part of me expected to find a ton of maple syrup... – I found books."
Hey!~ Sorry this took so long but better late than never! Also, last chapter I forgot the disclaimer... but you probably already assumed I don't own Hetalia.
Plus, I also forgot to warn about the immense amount of profanity I will no doubt use in the future... but we'll worry about that bridge when we cross it, eh?
Chapter 2: Who Am I?
Did I mention how god damn big Matthew's house is! It's huge! Annoyingly huge... After retrieving the plate of pancakes from the fridge and a hearty bottle of maple syrup, I barely manage to find my way back to the secret room. (No thanks to Gilbird who lead me to a linen closet and that jerk Ontario's room. Leafs? Baha!)
I ate my fill, wiped my fingers and then attempted to try to find where I had left off before my stomach distracted me.
I vividly recalled reading something about a prime minister named John getting drunk and throwing up on people (Awesome!) I really wanted to find him again!
I began to flip through one of the books I had gotten out scanning for his name, eventually I found it... Though, it was hidden beneath a few distraught and frantic looking paragraphs.
Dear Diary,
I-I I'm so confused! Every day I feel as if there are people pulling me... As if in two or three separate directions... People are being hurt- My people, but my other people do not seem to care...A- And that rubs off on me. So I'm just so terribly muddled... John is of no help. He is either drunk or hung over and as a human I doubt he understands what I'm going through. My French Canadiens are livid, My English settlers are unaccommodating, and my Native people are displeased. A- And I-I... I don't think I know what I am.
Wow... That last sentence was heavy! I wasn't entirely sure what it meant so I just kept reading...
In the past few months there have been several rebellions against the English government by the Métis people. The Métis people are a group of folks made up of French traders who intermarried with the Native Buffalo hunters. For some reason the English call them Burt Wood...But that's not important... A-Anyway the English government has been pretty harsh on the Métis...So harsh I don't even want to think about it. T-The rebellions have been pretty forgivable u-up until recently but then the leader of the rebellion, Louis, shot a prisoner... We not him exactly, A different guy did, but...
For some reason I was not to terribly impressed. Like one guy was shot? One guy? And from what I gather from the rest of Matt's writing he was just some random douche bag! Not even an important person like an Arch Duke or a famous singer... But as I read more of past events from these frayed pages the situation became twisted. Not just the history (Which by my standards did not seem like a big deal.) but Matthew's writing as well. It became calm and then crazed at sporadic points as if Matt wasn't really sure who he should be rooting for or why.
His comments, ranged from:
-Good the Rebellions are under control I hope they get rid of that Louis.
To outrages cries of :
-They can't do that to my people, Louis is their leader!
I don't know why this past Matt was writing in such a haywire fashion... It almost seemed as if he were two people! But of course that would be so not awesome.
"Well... it could be-... nah."
I stuck out my tongue and kept reading.
What I read made me feel bad so I closed the book harshly and began to route around for something else.
See that Louis guy- he was hung. (Or hanged ... Whatever, you know what I mean!) Mattie begged John to stop the execution but his boss was to drunk off his ass to stop it in time.
Oh, and that rebellion thing kind of burnt it's self out. (Much to Matt's relief and anguish.)
As a result...I just knew there would be a jumble of confused thoughts written in that Un- Awesome Two Canada's scrawl. So I skip it.
Sighing I looked over at the pile of books I had assembled from the wars then turned away. ...Those were for later.
Or at least I told myself that.
I leaned back in my chair and grabbed something random. (West hates it when I do things sporadically and out of order but I think it's more fun, and fun equals awesome!)
Flipping it open I began to read some story about women's rights... Boring!
I was about to slam the cover down when something caught my eye- Little scribbles in the ledger and corners.
Now I knew Mattie was pretty artistic so I figured these markings must be doodles. And a few of them were; however, most were not...
I didn't really understand. It was just so strange a feeling to see Matthew's printing suddenly turn self-deprecating as the words "Who Am I?" surfaced on page after page in his diaries.
I remember reading about Matt feeling like he was being pulled apart, I remember him as an enemy, as a friend, and I remember him telling me about how no one, not even his family, can remember a thing about him.
Hm... Okay I'm gonna' tell you a secret. Well not really a secret but a theory. See I think people's existence can only be confirmed by others. I exist because I make sure West knows that I do every day! Same with that piano jerk and Mrs. Frying pan! ... But I can't see little Matt forcing his existence on to other people. It's just not the Canadian way! ... How ironic is that.
Knowing what to look for I realized the "Who Are Yous" are in a lot of the books. But I know Mattie must have at least a few more badass moments in his past that weren't clouded by self doubt and I determinedly got up to look for them.
After searching I sat back in the chair and huffed felling slightly down.
I wanted to read something awesome from Matt's history! (Something like that smuggling alcohol story again!) But I kept picking out horribly boring or depressing things that seemed pretty out of context. (Which is totally not because I'm reading it out of order.)
This was probably a sign that I had to rethink my plan.
"What do you think Gilbird?" I asked taking a bite out of one of my snacks.
"Poo-Too-Peep"
And suddenly I knew the answer! It was so simple! I had to think! Not just to think but to remember! Canada has slipped me tons of juicy tidbits from his history books over the years I just had the find what he mentioned! People normally only talk about the good stuff anyway, right?
I thought back to a world meeting in which that fatso America had insisted on playing board games.
Lame right?
Anyway, a couple of games were fun but, this one called Risk? Well it went over as well as cat at a dog park. France kept taking over England, Japan had his army figures concentrated in one small spot, Russia stole pieces when no one was looking and when caught just claimed he was hastening the inevitably reality that every piece on the board would "Become One." , America kept taking Canada's pieces thinking they were his, West was to uncomfortably with the games concept to play , and Italy for some strange reason was winning...
In the end England flipped the board in frustration so as punishment (Or at least seemed like punishment.) America made us all play Monopoly.
If you have never played Monopoly well- Just don't play Monopoly. It sucks and takes forever to finish! (The meeting ended at 5:00 but we couldn't leave until the game concluded at 9:00!Damn that America!)
Anyway my point is half way through the game America exclaimed, "Oh my god! This game is like Wall Street!"
Now usually America doesn't catch on to these things. Maybe it was just his elation over his discovery but he noticed Matthew's No-Shit Sherlock face and took offence.
"What's wrong Matt? Jealous because I discovered the games secret message before you!"
Canada blinked dully.
"...What?"
"You heard me! It was easy to figure out after I realized this game uses a lot of money, and banking stuff."
Another blink
"Al, didn't you invent this game...?"
"Yeah, But only a hero like me could find the secrets I locked inside!"
" ...I swear to god Al if your drinking coffee again I'm cancelling all trade with you."
"I'm not! You're just mad because I understand these economy things more than you do! "
Matthew kind of went ridged. He honestly seemed shocked and his head began to tilt to one side. His expression clearly read: "No e'fing way!"
"Let me get this straight." Matthew whispered trying to keep from laughing, "Y-You understand the economy more than I do?"
"Yup" America smiled confidently.
"You do realize you just had a major recession, one that came second only to THAT time."
I assumed "THAT" time is the great depression of the 1930's.
"Well, yeah what of it!"
Oh, America. You lost this fight before it began. I laughed silently.
Matthew scowled before launching into, what can only be described as, a raging venomous rant.
That day America did learn exactly "what was of it" much to my satisfaction. As Matthew reminded him of: His colossal debt, his crashing real estate market, the corruption, all the foreclosures, his huge tab for the war with Iraq, the fact that he invested his money poorly, and that his currency was backed by fake gold.
America would have probably fought that last comment but he was too upset to say much of anything.
The end of that whole scene was pretty anti-climactic. Mattie apologized (Of course) and offered to drive America home. Who accepted under the conditions they stop at a burger place.
As for Monopoly, well...isn't it just typical that the communist wins at a capitalist themed game?
"But Mr. Prussia I am no longer communist."
"Hey! Did you see any quotations around those words? Get out of my head!"
I shook myself.
I was getting too carried away with that memory/daydream!
I scowled as I leaned back in my chair. What part of Matthew's history could I peer into from this? The great depression? The more recent depression that America seemed to have caused with his lack of banking skills? Nah. Those seemed sad and boring! I wanted something awesome!
Then another memory hit me.
It seemed so off hand then...but... Anyway, let me explain: It was America again. This time I met him at the beach so he was in his swim trunks. (The bastard had just beaten me at a swim race! RRRrrr) And... I can't quiet remember how but I noticed a feint burn mark on America's chest.
"What's that?" I had asked. It seemed like an old wound but I was curious.
"Oh... You know what I'm not sure!"
Alfred smiled heroically.
"How could you have forgotten such things!"
Marks on a nation-person were very different from scars on a normal human.
"Not sure."
Another smile then America ran back into the water.
Now that memory isn't substantial by its self but I do remember one day when I was with Matt. We were walking back to his house from a pizza place when it began to rain. By the time we got there we were both thoroughly drenched.
Inside Matt led me to his laundry room. He handed me a plain red sweater and a pair of black jeans from the dryer and grabbed out a blue sweater with a white fleur-di-lis on the back and a plaid kilt.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Umm... The kilt belongs to N-Nova Scotia." Matthew explained putting it on.
"The red haired brat?" I asked changing into the jeans.
"Well... H-he does have red hair..."
"What about the shirt?"
"It's Q-Quebec's."
"The loud French brat?"
"...Umm yeah let's go with that." Matt rolled his eyes while peeling off his soaking wet shirt.
When it was completely off but before he put on the dry shirt I noticed something. (I was so totally not staring at Matthew's chest!...Why would you think that!) It was a faded scar. The same one America had and in practically the same place...
Now, I'll say it again. Scars on nation people are much different than human wounds- Nation scars mean something... represent something. And it was far too weird that two different nation people would have the same scar... unless...
"Hey Mattie how did you get that?" I had asked pointing to the blemish.
"Ohhh... Ummm..." Much to my surprise Matthew got embarrassed, "I-I ahhh fell."
I gave him a look, "Bullshit."
"Okay... well it was a long time ago me and Al, got in a fight... that's all." Matthew then laughed despite himself, "Umm do you want some hot chocolate or something? (With added maple syrup of course.)
"Hell yeah I do!" I had said forgetting all the questions I had.
Back in reality I yawned and stretched out. All this thinking and remembering stuff was making me tired (It was defiantly not the jetlag, a sugar crash, or the fact that I've basically been sitting in a small dark room for several hours.)
But I had what I needed from my good old noggin. Matthew had said that he and Alfred had had a fight... That means that Canada and America had had a war!
I smiled inwardly knowing this. All thoughts of Canada as a soldier against me was... well terrifying!... but against that fat ass America? Awesome! It had to be entertaining!
I began to scour the book shelves. I had to find the book that contained Mattie's memories of that conflict! I just had to...
Finally I did.
Or at least I thought I did...
It was a blue leather bound, frayed journal. Not quiet believing that I found what I was looking for so easily I checked the date.
1775.
Hmmm... The contents mentioned a couple battles between Matthew and his twin... but it wasn't what I wanted. I could just tell.
Shaking my head I put the book back. I slid it right between 1774 and 177-.
Wait. The large faded red book next to the 1775 book was not 1776 but rather 1812.
Why were Matt's books out of order? Did I put it like that? Was there even an order to begin with?
"I don't know. No. And maybe just not in the conventional way I'm use to." I said answering all my inner questions out loud.
Maybe Matt grouped his books based on events and feelings rather than dates or numbers... how... How un-like West.
I laughed at the image of my brother trying to figure out Matt's system. Ludwig was such an exact guy he'd probably just see all these books as a mess.
I yawned sharply which sobered my laughter.
This book was defiantly it. If the blue book held past conflicts between the North American brothers this one would hold them to. (If my awesome theory was correct. Which it is.) Which means it would probably explain the twin scars.
I opened the book with relish but soon ran into a problem.
A big problem.
"My eyes are blurry."
My tiredness hit me in a wave. I haven't slept in such a long time... maybe I could just close my eyes real quick...
I slumped in my chair and fell asleep instantly. The last thing I remembered was Gilbird nuzzling into my hair.
End of chapter 2! This chapter was lame but the next one will be better... Anyway, thank you for reading this far! I tried to incorporate as much history as I could so if you have any questions about what something means please, I'd love to answer. :D Also I apologize for any mistakes... I tried to get them all but I'm sure I missed a ton.
Oh and Canadiens are different from Canadians... Just so all you non-Canadians know. .. Ahaha
Until next time!~
-Haroou