pThe wings of a butterfly/p
pThey all looked at her like she was rising from the /
They didn't expect her to be alive, but then again, she didn't expect to find her mother /
They were even./p
pMyrcella prided herself on being different from her parents - well, not exactly proud; most of the time, she was simply /
Her father - bless him, she had loved him, but he had been an awful father. Perhaps he was at his most endearing with /
Sometimes, when he was drunk he would call her his little princess, and tell her that he wished her mother would be more like her. Later, she would ask herself if he meant quiet and unspoiled,or just like a normal seven year old girl. She had hated him too, because she knew what he did to /
Not only did he sleep with most of her nannies - this was before uncle Stannis provided a distant cousin of his wife, a dear older woman with a moustache - he would always disappear with some woman on almost every /
He abused Mother when drunk (he was often drunk), and he would frequently slap /
Myrcella hated this side of him, and due to that, she loved her mother more. The best part of having Robert Baratheon as a father was to have uncle /
Uncle Renly was only 12 years older than Myrcella, and he was the first man Myrcella had wanted to marry. He looked just like father had (before gaining so much weight and growing a beard) - black-haired, with the most beautiful deep blue eyes. He was dashing, charming, funny, and despite being a man, he was always there for Myrcella's little girl /
She could still hear fathers barking laughter as she begged him to marry uncle Renly. "Why not, little girl? Maybe then my grandchildren would look like Baratheon, and not like some blond cats," Robert bit /
Uncle Jaime had laughed, uncle Tyrion feigned a broken heart, uncle Stannis had grinded his teeths (like always) and Mother had clearly looked upset, but when had mother not looked upset? Mother was a lioness. Mother had believed herself to be a lioness, a creature above all the others, nothing less for Tywin Lannister's /
Her /
Her beautiful, pitiful, crazy /
Once she had read a book about butterflies; they would never be able to fly if their wings were touched before finally emerging from its chrysalis. She remembers how she had to swallow a lump in her /
Her mother had been a butterfly who couldn't /
She had had to live with other insects, but she never had been be a part of their population. They couldn't understand her, her beauty, her being different, her being broken. She had fought, of course she did, but she had lost herself in the meantime. Her beautiful sad mother, married to man who didn't love her, and the power of her family always outside her /
She wasn't able to obtain the things she fought for, and was not ready to accept anything less than the things she believed were hers by right. Cersei Lannister, her love for her children had been absolute and fierce, strong and wounding, irrational and blind. She had cried and screamed as Myrcella was sent to a college in Dorne after father's death. Myrcella was forced to live with a family Mother despised, whom also reciprocated that /
She remembered she had slept in her mother's bed that last evening, hugging her like the time she had been a little girl. Mother always smelled so very good, she told her so, and she was rewarded with a hug and a bottle of her perfume. A perfume created and produced just for her "Queen of the Savanne."br /
Dorne was her mother's nightmare, but Myrcella decided she would try. She was already sixteen, and it was high time she would make some experiences outside Mother's fond, but firm /
In Dorne, she found friends and freedom. Dorne was the place to be. She missed Tommen, her mother, sometimes even Joffrey (really not so often) but they were a rich family. Tommen would often come visiting, even Joffrey came, before his tragic death, they skyped almost everyday, and she spent part of her holidays back at /
She found love with Trystane, the youngest son of her hosting family, who had his sister's look and his brother's nature. Trystane was a beautiful but kind and gentle boy. Myrcella had knew her granddad wanted to bind the Martell to the Lannister. Both family had shared business, Myrcella should integrate herself in Dorne and acting for the sake of her family. Myrcella had been honored and flattered; Tywin Lannister saw her as worthy to forge an alliance, if she was a piece of his chess play, she wouldn't be just a /
She loved Trystane, who wouldn't love Trystane? She was successful in her studies and she loved her foster family and was loved in return. She had fun, love and success. After all the casualties in her family: father's, uncle Renly's, and Joffrey's death, the falling out with uncle Stannis… after all this, at least a little bit of sunshine was deserved for her hurt soul, and Dorne was full of /
Maybe she could be happy, maybe even a Baratheon-Lannister could be happy. But there had been Mother's slowly dissolving sanity, the quarrels with the Tyrell's…She should have known, it wouldn't last. Myrcella thought her relation with Trystane to be secure and solid. She was his first, he was her first, they were lovers since almost four years. The Martells were amused about how serious they were, "like an old married couple," Arianne had always /
Then came Aegon Targaryen, Trystane's cousin. The sure, pragmatic, serious Myrcella, a bastion of calm, confidant of Aryanne and Ella Martell, friend and lover of Trystane, disciple of Doran Martell. Myrcella Baratheon, who had with seven years decided to never cheat on her loved one, was in a dilemma. All her being wanted to be with Aegon, and he wanted to be with her, she could /
She felt so guilty, she who had admired her grandad for being faithful to grandma Joanna's memory, wasn't better than her dissolute father. Before she could have done anything, the news of Tommen death tore her world. She escaped from Trystane and his care; she wanted to be alone in her journey to her little brother. It had hurt so much, she didn't feel really anything. Tommen couldn't be dead, he was so young, he was her sweet little brother, and he couldn't be dead. Tommen, the shy, chubby boy that was always afraid of /
Tommen, who cried after seeing large-scale livestock farming, and decided he wouldn't eat meat anymore. Tommen and his kitten, the blind donkey, the dog with three legs, the bipolar goat, and his white horse. Tommen laughing about some lame jokes, Tommen dancing with great aunt Genna. Tommen madly in love with the seven years older Margaery. Tommen sharing his cream puffs with her, Tommen, Tommen, and /
He was everywhere awake and in her dreams. Always /
She missed her plane ride, she had to cry so badly, and she didn't want to cry in public. She was a lioness, she would not /
The journey home was her own little /
She decided to take the train, but she was so numb so confused, she couldn't get anything right. It took her three days to arrive home, in three days she lost the remnant of her close family. She knew it was her fault, her supposed death caused her mother to lose her will to live. No one would love her like her mother did, no one would ever replace Tommen in her /
Myrcella felt so alone and again so guilty, like never in her life, she had killed her mother. After the memorial ceremony she took her uncle Jaime's offer to spend some time in his new secluded home./p
pNever would she have imagined, she would wake up with her uncle in her bed./p