Starcrossed (Part 2)
by BrDPirateMan
Shiki recovered from her sadness quite admirably, and we went about our daily lives like nothing happened. On hindsight, it was strange that despite the knowledge of Shiki being far from well, everything seemed so normal. We were glad it was normal, though. That's how we wanted it.
Although we were concerned about her health, there was never a time when the topic of cancer came up. We did ask her if she was feeling better once in a while, and when she felt slightly lethargic during our shopping trips we would all take the opportunity to eat at a fast-food restaurant or ramen shop to wait for her to regain her strength. But there was the mutual feeling between us that not mentioning anything about her ongoing battle with cancer was all for the better.
We did have a lot of fun, though. Aside from hanging out and chilling like most teenagers do, we did many other things together. Eri got us all tickets to the latest movie based off of the Tin Pin franchise, and true to her resourcefulness, she managed to nab us good seats, near the front row though not too near. And when up-and-coming J-Pop band "K Bunnies" held their debut concert at A-East, all five of us were present to watch the ambitious entrepreneur-cum-singer Princess K in action. It was a blast of a time; I was so glad Shiki just went wild with her fangirl screams. It was good to know she was making an effort to truly live life as it should be lived.
One of the highlights of our time with Shiki was, and it embarrasses me to say this, the trip to the hot springs of Kyoto. We stayed at some inn with a hot spring, and apart from the table tennis and good food there was the natural spa itself, which was the main highlight. I didn't know how Eri, Beat and Rhyme did it, but to make a long story short they managed to isolate Shiki and I in the mixed section.
I tried to relax in the bubbling warm bath, but it was so very difficult for two reasons: Shiki was sitting so close to me, and she was completely naked below the surface. More than once I tried to sneak a peek at her body, but the churning water made it impossible to see anything. She felt very awkward too, hardly calm at all knowing that I was as unclothed as she was. Without our other friends around to keep us company, not much was spoken between us. We simply sat there suppressing our urges as best as we could. But I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it…
Finally the week before she was scheduled to undergo chemotherapy had arrived. Time flew by so fast that I hardly felt anything. It was only when I was reminded of her next treatment session that I started to panic.
All this time I had not even told Shiki how I felt towards her. Time was running out. I had to at least let her know… And if she happened to like me too, it would be cruel of me to not take the initiative.
I remember that day crystal-clear. There wasn't anything particularly interesting to be done, and there was nothing planned, so Eri stalked off to 104 Building while Beat and Rhyme went back home, leaving Shiki and I alone at Miyashita Park to reminisce about old times.
"Sure has been a crazy journey, huh?" I said casually, leaning back on the bench.
"Yeah," agreed Shiki, tilting her head to feel the breeze in her face. "It was one heck of a ride from start to finish."
"D-Don't say 'finish', Shiki…" I corrected her gently, "That sounds a bit… well, it doesn't sound very nice, does it?"
"Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry about that."
"No biggie."
There were some guys zipping around the park on their skateboards, performing ollies and various other stunts. We watched them for a while, commenting about how cool they looked. Shiki was visibly worried that they might hurt themselves if they fell down on the hard concrete, but no less impressed by their repertoire of tricks.
"Hey, Shiki," I said, when I grew tired of watching the skateboarders.
"Hmm?"
"So what's your plan now? I hate to bring it up, but I'm just asking." I didn't want to utter the word "cancer" if I could help it.
She understood what I meant. "I'll just carry on with my life. No point thinking too much. I gotta live in the now, like you said, right Neku? But I'm ready to tackle any challenges that present themselves to me, should that happen."
"You'll be alright," I told her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder in an affectionate gesture. "Because I know how strong you really are."
"Ah! Uh… Th-Thanks…" For a second or two I wondered why her cheeks were beginning to heat up. She was staring pointedly at the ground between her feet, refusing to look my way. Did I say the wrong thing? Or was it the other way around, in the sense that what I said she found extremely touching? I hoped it was the second situation.
I asked her anyway. "Shiki? Is anything wrong?"
"No, nothing!" she answered, her stare unwavering. "Nothing at all… Just…"
"Yes?"
"C-Can you hold me like this for a little longer?" That was when I saw my arm still draped around her lithe, delicate frame. She didn't mind me doing this? Hmmm, I'll take that as a good sign… I let my arm be. To my surprise and much to my delight she shifted closer towards me.
"I'm sorry, Neku, I just need a hug," she said, snuggling into my shoulder. "I mean, if I come across as weird or anything…"
"Weird? No! It's perfectly normal. We're friends, right? What's wrong with friends leaning on each other?" Her cheeks grew redder, and it was starting to rub off on me. From afar our faces so close together must have looked like a pair of cherries.
Wow was the first thought that came to mind. Her body was actually touching mine… It felt so warm, so irresistible. But wait a minute… didn't she say she needed a hug? Was her mind troubled? I could more or less guess the reason.
"Is something bothering you, Shiki?" I asked, stroking her shoulder softly.
She nodded sadly. Just as I thought… She absent-mindedly rested her hand on my knee seemingly in a bid for more comfort. "I feel so lethargic these days, even more so than usual. This can no doubt be due to my worsening condition… And next week I'm up for chemotherapy."
"Chemotherapy, huh…"
"I'm gonna lose all my hair…" she sighed, a grey cloud hanging above her. The issue of her declining health suddenly became even more serious. I knew that cancer wasn't an easy thing to suppress and it would never completely go away. Would radiation treatment really help her hang on to life a bit longer? But even if it did, it would make her extremely weak. Things weren't looking so good now. We made it a point not to pay too much attention to it… but was it the right thing to do?
Shiki turned away to hide her tears, dabbing her eyes on her jacket sleeve. I couldn't bear to leave her like this.
"Even if you lose all your hair, you're still you, Shiki. No one can deny that."
"But…"
"Come now, we're not so shallow as to abandon you if that happens."
"Well... I guess…" She began to relax a little.
"And if you're really that worried, I'll buy you a hat."
The smallest of giggles escaped from her mouth. "Thanks, Neku. But I've got my own cap, so there's no worry there."
"We're gonna stick by you," I said with a reassuring grin. "Count on it! Even if there's not a single hair on your head, I'll still love y–"
Wait, what did I just say?
I stopped talking a little too late. She clearly heard what I had said, and…was it just me, or was she getting warmer? At this point we were practically steaming. She felt so hot I thought for sure that her clothes would catch fire and burn away. …Burn away? No! What kind of stupid thoughts was I having?
An awkward silence fell over us, and she said not a single word. Instead, in a discreet but no less noticeable way, she cuddled closer to me, resting herself against my frame. My heart was doing somersaults.
"Neku, I was just wondering…" She fiddled with her fingers nervously.
Startled, I almost leapt out of the bench. "Yes, Shiki?"
"Well, um, have you ever… kissed someone before?"
Taken completely by surprise, I gaped at the question. "Kissed someone before?" I repeated, parrot-style. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh! I was wondering if you've ever had a girlfriend before…" She looked away in a vain attempt to hide the blush. Her skin was turning a nice shade of pink. "I was also kinda thinking if you're currently attached or – "
I was still single, but it had always been my wish to be Shiki's boyfriend. Her knight in shining armour… And here she was asking me if I was going out with anyone… Was this an indication that she liked me too?
Shiki, becoming thoroughly embarrassed by now, suddenly developed cold feet and retracted her questions. "Ah, well, don't mind me, Neku!" she said with a silly grin on her face. "I don't know what came over me to ask crazy questions like that! Really, just forget about it… it's nothing."
But what she said sounded very interesting. There was no way I could forget about it any time soon. And then I remembered my own wishes…
You idiot, I scolded myself in my thoughts, Shiki might actually be in love with you too. If the doctor's prognosis was correct, she now had less than a month left. Time was something I was running out of. For that matter, so was she. I decided that I had enough of procrastination. Even if it was only for a month, it was still worth it for both her and I. Now's your chance, Neku. Go for it!
Treading carefully, I reversed her own questions back towards her.
"Shiki, do you have a boyfriend?"
"Huh?" Shiki gulped, staring at me with eyes as wide as her round glasses. "What's this about now?"
I pressed further in a bold attempt to dig the truth out. "I'm just curious. So…do you?"
She shook her head vigorously, her silky brown hair swishing from side to side. "No," she stammered, "I… I'm… I don't have a boyfriend."
Maybe I had a chance with her after all… A small smile was creeping onto my lips, but I did my best to fight it back down. I was more reckless with my next question. "I see… Well, do you wish to have a boyfriend, then?"
The redness on Shiki's face intensified in a maroon glow. The heat from her cheeks could be felt just by sitting next to her. Now there was not a spot on her skin that wasn't red. She snapped without answering, "Why must you ask things like this?"
"Hey, we're friends, and we're really close too, right?" I said, allowing myself a slight smirk. "And really close friends aren't afraid to share their innermost secrets."
"But…"
"Shiki," I said, ignoring her futile protests, "do you wish to have a boyfriend?"
"Neku… quit it. This isn't something I'm comfortable with." She struggled to break away, but my strong arm around her kept her in place.
I knew that if I harassed her any more it wouldn't be good for me, so I dropped the "beat-about-the-bush" tactic and went for the most direct approach… and while it was daring and outrageous, it would probably yield the best results… With the right words already in my head, I spoke.
"Well, Shiki, if you must know," I said, nearly biting my tongue from tension, "I…"
Shiki looked at me expectantly.
I can't turn back now, I thought, steeling myself for the confession, I've got to say it!
And I did.
"Shiki, I love you."
Her owlish stare never left my eyes. She looked at me as though I had gone mad. She was having trouble registering those four words that I just uttered in her mind. To her, it sounded like the most ridiculous thing ever, and in a way it was. But it was the truth, and there was no way I could afford to let such a grand opportunity slip me by!
Seeing how she was so dumbfounded that she wouldn't be saying another word for a few moments to come, I spoke again.
"Shiki, I want you to know that ever since I got to know you – the real you – I've harboured this liking for you." I gazed deep into her soul. "I fell in love with you a long time back, but I never gathered enough courage to tell you until now!"
She just continued to stare at me, incredulous at what was happening to both of us. It would be a while before she found her voice again.
"Neku… I…"
"Shiki?"
"…I've been waiting for this day, Neku…"
"Waiting for… Shiki, do you mean…" My heart was beating so fast it hurt.
Her face completely flushed and eyes avoiding mine in embarrassment, she said, "I love you too, Neku. I love you so, so much. I… want to be with you." There was the smallest of smiles on her lips. Lips I have been yearning for so long to touch with my own…
Shiki loved me. Was this fantasy or reality? Suddenly it became hard to distinguish between the two. No, I told myself, resisting the urge to pinch myself on the arm, this is no dream. She likes me. This was a freaking miracle. I almost couldn't believe I heard her confession. I felt the need to confirm it again.
"Um, are you certain, Shiki?"
"I am, Neku."
"Really? Are you… uh, truly? Seriously?"
"Neku, do you not like me? I thought you said that yourself only moments ago." She looked a bit hurt. Great going, Neku. Hurry and put her at ease.
"Of course I love you!" I blurted out, honestly afraid she would start crying and run away. "I like you, I love you. Need I say more?"
"No, that's quite alright. Thanks…"
I unconsciously held her tighter, but she didn't seem to mind. There was one other burning question I had to ask, though…
"Shiki," I said, knowing fully well what to do. "Do you know what it's like to kiss?"
"What?" Shiki jumped in shock at the audacity of my query. "Have you lost your mind, Neku? I'm happy that we confessed our feelings for each other, but don't you think we should be talking about that only when we – mmmmph?"
I cut her off by leaning in quickly and pressing my lips against hers. I couldn't wait. I hated to wait. Especially when it came to things as… urgent… as this. I never liked long-winded answers. And Shiki's reply was decidedly long-winded.
Still kissing her, I brought my other arm around her so that she was completely trapped within my embrace. She turned her body to face me directly and lost no time returning my kisses enthusiastically with that fantastic mouth of hers. So there was such a thing as heaven on earth. She tasted so very sweet… was she wearing watermelon-flavoured lip gloss, perchance? If she did, well, that made making out even more enjoyable. I sucked it all off.
God, I love watermelon. It instantly became my number one favourite fruit.
Her eyes were glazed over when our mouths separated after what seemed like thirty minutes. For all I knew, we could have been kissing for only one, but I guess it had a way of making time seem to slow down.
A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Shiki?" Oh no! Did I do the wrong thing? "I-I'm sorry, Shiki! I couldn't control myself and I was being such a pervert and –"
"Beautiful," she sniffled.
"Huh?"
"That kiss… I've never kissed before… but it was so wonderful…"
"Um, really?" I mumbled sheepishly. "Sorry if it came out awkward."
"It's okay, Neku," Shiki squeaked, her entire body still trembling for obvious reasons. "It was nice. I loved it tremendously. …Did you?"
"Yeah…"
Shiki snuggled against my chest as I hugged her close to me. We stayed like that for a few minutes, finding happiness in our physical closeness and the lingering aftertaste of our very first kiss. All of a sudden, she brought her mouth close to my ear and whispered urgently.
"Neku, c-can we do that again?"
"You mean kissing?"
"Of course."
"I thought you'd never ask," I said, grinning. "But this place is beginning to become more crowded. We should go to a more private spot… like under that willow tree over there?"
"Gosh, that looks romantic," she gushed. "I'd love to kiss there."
"Let's head over there, then," I said, holding her by the hand, leading the way.
Before very long we were partially hidden in the shade of the majestic willow tree, clinging to each other as our mouths danced with each other. Everything we did became a highly synchronized act, surprising considering we had only just gotten started on this minutes ago. Our lips, close to melting, parted and met, plucked at each other and pressed together, all at exactly the right times.
Her body fit perfectly against mine as I circled my arms around the small of her back. She folded hers around my neck. We were pressing so firmly against each other that I could actually feel the firmness of her chest. Shiki moaned into my mouth, and it was by far the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my life. I was close to fainting from the sensation.
Then I heard it. Not her voice, but something else.
Click.
Click? Like a camera?
We broke away, alarmed by the sound, and started looking around to find the source. Shiki found it first, crying out in surprise.
"Y-You!" she shrieked, letting go of me in a flash. "What are you doing here, Eri?"
"Aw, you found us out," pouted the culprit, emerging from behind a nearby tree, with her cell phone pointed directly at us. Beside her was Beat and Rhyme, trying their best to stifle their sniggers. "But it's okay. At least I got this lovely picture of you two."
"Picture?" I said dumbly. "Wait, were you snapping photos of us?"
"Right!" Rhyme giggled. "You two look so cute together, and when you started… um, you know… well, we couldn't help preserving that tender moment forever."
"You…" Shiki was livid. "You delete that photo right now, or –"
"Whoops! Gotta bounce, yo!" Beat cried, chortling heartily. As he made good his escape together with his accomplices, he called back over his shoulder, "Carry on! We wouldn't disturb you!" Before Shiki could do so much as take a step, they had bounded away and disappeared from sight altogether, their laughter the only thing left of them.
"God! I could strangle them!" Shiki seethed, her eye twitching. "Come on, Neku! Let's chase after them and get that photo out of Eri's phone!" She sprinted in their direction.
"Shiki, wait!" I called, chasing after her. "You shouldn't be running in your condition!"
"I'm okay, Neku! I'm… Ungh… I'm…"
Barely five meters were covered by her before she slowed down inexplicably and swayed. She's losing her balance! I thought, rushing to her aid and catching her just as she was about to fall backwards.
"Shiki!" Her body was limp and her head lolled to one side, like she was a rag doll. When I checked the colour of her face, there was only the whiteness of pallor. Her face was ghostly and she was groaning in apparent discomfort. "Shiki, what's wrong? Are you alright?"
She shook her head weakly, eyelids partially closed. It didn't take chicken brains to figure out that something was wrong with her. "You need to rest," I said, helping her back to the bench where we had sat earlier. "Can you walk?"
"Maybe… with some difficulty…" her voice was small and weak. Could this be the effects of the cancer taking hold? I knew cancer was bad but I didn't think it could make someone feel faint. This was a very grave situation Shiki was in. I needed to get her back to her house so she could rest.
"Haha… I think… the matter with that… photo… can wait…" Shiki was having trouble talking because of lack of breath.
"Hang on, Shiki," I said, hoisting her arm around my neck to support her. "Let's get you home." Fortunately her house was nearby so walking back wasn't a particularly egregious task for her. She flopped onto her bed as soon as she entered her room. She was so zonked that she didn't seem to take notice that I was in her private sanctuary.
After I asked her how she was feeling for what may have been the fifth time, she smiled at me in an attempt to ward off any worry from my mind. She wasn't convincing at all, though. "I should… be fine… after some rest…" With that she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep.
Without any confirmation as to whether she would be alright by herself – her parents were out at that time – I took matters into my own hands and decided to stay with her until they returned or until I was sure that she would be fine. I borrowed her chair and sat near the side of her bed, looking intently at her sleeping form.
"Take your time, Shiki," I whispered. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you for now."
She stirred. Did she hear me? No, she probably didn't. Not when she was sound asleep like a log anyway. For that matter, I was growing drowsy myself, and before I could stop myself, I had nodded off.
When I awoke two hours later with a stiff neck, she was still asleep. I could tell things were looking very dim for her. Her deteriorating health practically screamed, Neku, I'm dying.
As much as I hated to admit it, that was probably the truth.
XOXOXOXOXO
The time had arrived for Shiki to undergo treatment in what would be a valiant but vain attempt to overcome her debilitating bone cancer.
We wished her luck and she was thankful for our support, but at the end of the day, what else could we do? We lacked the power to rid her of her sickness. We couldn't do anything to extend her longevity. All we could do was pray and hope for the best. Suddenly we felt so helpless and useless that we couldn't stand it.
We felt even more so when we saw her lying on her hospital bed, hooked up to a variety of menacing-looking machinery and with practically no life signs. Her weakness was so overpowering that she hardly had enough energy to do anything for herself. Her bob of shiny brown hair – one of the many things I liked about her – was all but gone, an unfortunate side-effect of chemotherapy. Apparently self-conscious, she had hidden her baldness under a baseball cap, and it seemed to do the trick admirably. True, I couldn't suppress a wince when I first laid my eyes on her, but I scolded myself inwardly and got over it quickly.
No matter what, Shiki was still Shiki. She could be bald, unsightly and in a near-vegetative state, but my love for her would never change.
Her eyes had lost much of the shine that made her so pretty to begin with. But she would always have a smile ready for us whenever we came to visit, though it must have taken a gargantuan effort for her. Using whatever energy she could muster, she would make an attempt to talk about normal teenager stuff, and for a little while everything would seem to return to normal again. What made her efforts so remarkable was that we almost totally forgot that she was in a hospital awaiting her next chemo session. Her sunny attitude lifted our spirits and made us feel that, perhaps, she did have a way to bounce back and recover, even though the chances were slim at best. I marveled at her optimism despite great odds. If only I shared such optimism.
In the gloom of the sterile, silent hospital ward, there was a light in it. And that light was Shiki.
But as days turned into weeks, even that light started to dim as she grew increasingly weaker. Her spirit was strong, but even that was starting to lose its grip. She was slipping away…
Then, all too soon, the saddest day of our lives was right in front of us. Nothing could prepare me for it.
I still remember how it went.
The four of us – me along with Eri, Beat and Rhyme – were riding the elevator up to the fourth floor of the hospital, where Shiki was located.
"I think it's pretty obvious by now, guys," said Eri, "but I'm awfully worried about her."
"We're talking about Shiki, right?" I said.
"Yes. Haven't you noticed how frail she has become? Despite repeated treatment, her health isn't improving."
"What's gonna happen to her, yo?" asked Beat, clutching his shoulder.
The elevator stopped at the second floor and a few nurses got onboard. "I hope she'll make it," said Rhyme, fiddling with the too-long sleeve of her shirt.
"It'd be great if she recovered in time for the next Tin Pin slam-off," I mused, "This time it's Shooter against some dark horse called Futoshi. It's touted as the most exciting finals ever. I doubt Shiki would want to miss it."
"Yeah…"
"Well, le's jus' see how she's doin'," said Beat, as the elevator dinged at our destination. Anxious to see Shiki again, we were tempted to jog down the hallway. Every step we took was painfully tough. We were dying to know how she was faring, but at the same time, there was a part of us that didn't want to deal with the harsh reality of matters now.
"Shiki!" Eri cried, a little too loudly, as soon as she stepped foot inside the room. A doctor and a pair of nurses were crowded around our bedridden friend, and upon hearing her they silenced her urgently. The doctor herded us around the doorway and spoke to us in whispers.
"Is Shiki Misaki your friend?" enquired the doctor. "She's in bad shape. We're doing everything we can to help her, but it's looking pretty grim."
A single word escaped from my lips. "No…" Unwilling to believe him, I shoved past him and fell to the side of Shiki's bed. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was awake. She must have been exhausted from all the treatment. Her baseball cap seemed to cast a bigger shadow on her face than usual, an ominous sign of things to come.
"Shiki," I said. "Shiki, can you hear me?"
As my other pals surrounded her bed, the doctor left the room together with the two nurses to give us some privacy. The door clicked shut.
"Oh my goodness, Shiki," breathed Rhyme. "You look very pale…"
"Are you alright, yo?" Beat practically yelled. "T-Talk to us!"
"Hush, Beat! Not so loud!"
I found her hand and grasped it gently, and the ghost of a smile appeared on her face. But she lacked the energy to respond by squeezing my hand. She was limp, lifeless and hopelessly still. Without opening her eyes, she said, "You're…all… here…"
"Shiki!" Eri immediately burst into tears upon seeing her friend in such a terrible state. "How are you doing? Please tell me you're okay!" She collapsed to her knees on the other side of the bed, grabbing Shiki's free hand and refusing to let go. The Bito siblings stood at the foot of her bed, awaiting her answer.
"I'm a little… under the… weather… but I'll… I'll be fine…" Shiki had to squeeze the words out; she was so weak at this stage.
"You're strong, Shiki," said Beat, afraid for her. "Dontchu give up now, yo!"
The fear in the room was palpable and very real. It was like a fog: thick, heavy and suffocating. Shiki didn't look like she had a fighting chance to live. Her battle against cancer was going downhill. We could liven up her spirits and she could be cheerful all she wanted, but we knew we were losing her.
Shiki's eyes fluttered open. "About that…I can't… I don't think…"
"No, Shiki!" snapped Beat, fighting back tears, "We haven't taken you to the new ramen shop that just opened up! They sell great curry ramen there!"
There was not a dry eye to be found. Even Shiki looked like she realized the hopelessness of it all.
"Everyone… listen…" she spoke, looking at each of us in turn. "I want to thank you guys while I have the chance…" What I really wanted was for her to not talk and conserve the last of her energy. But as these might just be her final words; I couldn't simply stop her. She first turned to Eri to her left. "Eri…"
"Y-Yes, Shiki?"
"You helped me discover my talent and put it to good use. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten started on making clothes. Thanks, Eri, you're amazing."
Tears cascaded freely down Eri's face. "No, I should be the one thanking you, Shiki. You brought my creations to life. And in so doing, you made my hobby – and my life – so much richer. I'm grateful to have been given the chance to work together with you. You're the amazing one. Thank you, Shiki!" She dug her face into her friend's hand and cried her eyes out.
"I guess that makes us even, huh," said Shiki, with the slightest of smiles. "Beat… please do well in everything you do. Never mind if it's your hobby or what… just… don't let me down, okay?"
Beat bowed his head and tried to hide his face. "You don' even need to say it. I'll be the best, yo. You'll see…"
"You too, Rhyme…" said Shiki, addressing the youngest person in our tight little circle of friends. "Your dreams… They're looking for you… You just –" She stopped to catch her breath, after which she continued. "You… just… need to find them…"
"I got it, Shiki…" Rhyme sobbed. "Thank you. Thank you so much for your support all this while. I'm lucky to have met you."
"Neku…"
And now, Shiki turned her attention to me. I waited in anticipation for her words. What did she want to say to me? Suddenly a wave of trepidation gripped me. I've treated her as a good friend as far as I can remember, but was there ever a time when I made her feel bad? A quick scan of my memories revealed nothing. Was there ever anything that I did to sadden her that I forgot?
"Shiki," I blurted, "if I ever did anything wrong to you, if I ever did anything to be a jerk, I… I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"
"Silly Neku," she simply muttered, her small smile widening, if only a little, "You've done nothing wrong… The times I spent with you… are the best and happiest that I know of."
Relief washed over me. And while I was already crying, hearing her say that moved me so much that I shed even more tears than usual.
"N-Neku," she coughed, "you… you like CAT's work… don't you?"
"CAT… Yes, of course!" To think Mr Hanekoma was Shibuya's greatest art designer in the guise of a simple café owner. The truth about him totally took me by surprise. I had always been in love with his outstanding art direction, and I was struck by how a single individual could harbour so much creativity. His work directly inspired me to tap into my potential.
"Well, I was thinking since you like CAT and all, maybe… maybe you could apply for a job with his company… Working together with him has always been your dream… am I not right?"
"Yeah… that's true…"
"Then go for it, Neku," she said, shutting her eyes momentarily. "Go for it… and… move mountains…!"
"For you, Shiki, I'll move Mount Everest."
"One more thing, Neku… I… I'd like you to… to have Mr Mew…"
I jumped, startled. "But Shiki!" I protested, "It's your most treasured possession! You can't simply give it away."
"I want you to have it, Neku. This way, you can look at him and think of me. Besides, without me around, he'd be so lonely…"
That last sentence froze me for a second. I'd rather not imagine her not being around. But this was Shiki's wish. The least I could do was to honour it. Shiki took the soft toy that was nestling by her side on the bed and pressed it into my hands.
"I'll take good care of the ol' piggy," I said, graciously accepting her gift.
She chuckled weakly. Hardly a chuckle, but one nonetheless. "He's a cat…"
To my surprise, Rhyme cried out all of a sudden, overcome with emotion. "Don't go, Shiki!" The rivers running down from her eyes she made no attempt to wipe off. This was so unlike her. Then again, in the face of hardship, a lot of people's behaviour can change in unexpected ways. "There are still so many things we have yet to do together!"
"R-Rhyme…" Beat glared at his sister uneasily, as if to say, "Please don't make things harder than they already are."
"Now, Rhyme…" said Shiki in a dazed, dream-like state, "We can do anything we please after all this… is over… I'll be… on my own… two feet in no time… Yes…"
"I'll be looking forward to that, Shiki," sniffled Eri, unable to accept Shiki's doomed fate. "We'll all go to 104, wouldn't we? We can drag Neku and Beat along for the ride too."
"That sounds… great… ugh…"
"Shiki!" I cried, in unison with the other three.
"I don't have much time left, I'm afraid…" she croaked. The machine that she was hooked up to registered a slower heartbeat. No…This can't be! was the thought that came to my mind. It dawned upon us that she was nearing the end of her line. But I wouldn't have any of it! I couldn't bear to let go of her just yet!
"Stay with me, Shiki. Stay with me," I sobbed uncontrollably. "Don't leave us, Shiki. Don't leave me… I care about you the most. I love you, Shiki… I need you! Please, stay with me!" I was quickly losing it.
"Shiki! Girl, get a grip on yo' self!" Beat called with heightened urgency.
"I can't do the fashion thing without you, Shiki!" choked Eri, "We're a team… We're partners!"
"I'm so sorry, everyone…" Shiki said, tears falling freely. "I thoroughly enjoyed every moment we spent together… but… it looks like… this may be farewell…"
"No… No!"
"Neku… Eri… Beat… Rhyme… thank you so much… I love you all…"
"Shiki..." I called her name. "Shiki!"
"…Good…bye…"
"SHIKI!"
Shiki's eyes closed for the last time. Beside her, that infernal machine played the most horrendous noise I had ever heard in my life.
Beeeeeeep.
Only silence filled the room once the beeping noise stopped. Eri was the first to speak after a while.
"Rest well, partner," she wept, her body quivering as she wrapped her arms around herself. Rhyme couldn't utter a single word.
It couldn't be… This wasn't how things were supposed to end… Completely in denial, I shook her by the shoulder, lightly at first, then a bit rougher, while I chanted her name. Over and over and over.
"Shiki. Shiki, wake up… You can't go to sleep yet! Shiki! Shiki!"
"S-Stop it, yo!" Beat locked his arms around my chest and dragged me away from the bed. I tried to fight back against him, against the reality, but it was useless. No matter how many times I yelled her name, no matter how many tears I shed for her, she wasn't coming back.
Shiki had passed on.