Dean walked out of the church and to his car. When he got into the car and started up the engine, the friendly red light on his meter reminded him he needed to get more gas. He sighed and decided he should just get as close to the gas station as possible. He left the church's parking lot and headed through the town towards the gas station. However, his car started slowing down just as he was a block away from the station.
"Come on baby, you can do it," he said pressing the gas pedal down even further.
Sadly his baby gave out just across the street from the gas station. He groaned in frustration, cutting the engine and leaning back in his seat. At least he wouldn't have to walk too far in order to get a gallon of gas for his tank.
Dean got out of the car and looked up, seeing in front of him a house that looked too nice for his standards. It literally had a white picket fence and flowerbeds lining the pathway up to the front door. At that moment, he noticed he had actually parked in front of the drive way. And whoever lived there wasn't home, as far as he could tell. He didn't know when the owners would return, but he needed to hurry so he wouldn't be in their way.
Dean headed across the street and bought himself a gallon of gas. When he got back to the car, he was glad to see that no one was waiting for him to move yet. He refilled the Impala's tank and stuck the container into the trunk. Upon getting into the driver's side and starting the car, Dean saw a light blue '67 Ford Mustang slowing down to a stop behind him. He waved at the rear view mirror and pressed the gas, moving forward. He heard the person driving the mustang honk back at him in thanks before he saw it pull into the drive way. At least their car was cool.
Dean drove on back to Bobby's. He had a feeling Bobby would want to know what he had been up to on his return, and he was right. He walked into the house and found Bobby in the living room drinking a bottle of beer and watching TV. Hearing Dean come into the room, Bobby turned his head and nodded a hello.
"Have fun, Dean?" Bobby asked as Dean took a seat on the unoccupied couch.
Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Bobby about going to church. He didn't want the man thinking he actually was the religious type, because Dean really wasn't. He didn't want Bobby to start pitying him either, even though Dean had a feeling he already did.
"I guess, yeah," Dean lied with a shrug. "Drove around, took note of some bars around town. I might go see them later."
Bobby raised a brow. That hadn't exactly been what he had hoped Dean would do. "Did you meet anyone?" Bobby pressed further.
He shook his head. "No. Not yet anyway."
That was mostly true. He guessed one could say he had 'met' the priest, but not really since there had been a wall between them and Dean hadn't even gotten his name. He heard Bobby sigh and watched as Bobby got up to his feet.
"I'm going to get another beer," Bobby said before heading back into the kitchen.
Dean nodded and turned his attention to the TV. There was some kind of drama show on that he hadn't expected Bobby to be into. He grabbed the remote and was about to change the channel until he saw that things were heating up on the screen. Smiling, he set it down and started watching. Bobby came back and saw Dean's mouth hanging open as he watched what was going on screen. Bobby shrugged and sat down in his armchair, but that alerted Dean to his presence.
Dean quickly shut his mouth and stood up. "I'm going to work on my car some. Baby needs a good shining, you know?" It was supposed to be an excuse, but now that he thought about it, the Impala could use a good scrubbing down.
Bobby nodded and took a drink of his beer. Dean headed out to his car and started washing it. As he did, he thought about what the priest had said to him. He had said Dean needed to consider the reasons for his actions. He thought back to the very first sin he had committed but quickly pushed it out of his mind. Dean didn't think he was ready for that yet.
He moved onto how he had dragged his brother around the country without even really asking him. He hadn't considered Sam's feelings about how he felt about living on the road. Clearly Sam hadn't liked it, seeing as he had gotten a job and run off to college. Dean knew that was his fault. He should have talked to Sam about it. Then Sam wouldn't have had to lie about what he had been doing over the past four years. He should have been more supportive of Sam's decision in wanting to go to college instead of spending the rest of his life on the road.
Dean thought about how alone he had felt when Sam finally ditched him. He thought about how he had gone to see if there was a town nearby where Sam had left him and the Impala in the middle of the road. He thought about how he had decided to go right to Bobby's the day after that. The answer was clear now. He didn't want to be alone.
His fear of loneliness was the reason for keeping Sam with him when they left the Winchester house. It was that reason why he had gotten so angry at Sam for even daring to hide something from him. Dean had been living on a rule that he and Sam were supposed to share everything. Dean let out a derisive laugh as he moved to the other side of the Impala to get the last two wheels. The laugh was aimed at himself for being such a selfish dick.
God only knew how much he hated himself sometimes. Dean had a feeling of self loathing inside of him as he rinsed the suds off the Impala. The priest had told him he needed to forgive himself. What a joke! There was no way he could forgive himself now. He had burned a bridge with his brother, and he was pretty sure there was no way for that bridge to be rebuilt. He highly doubted it.
Dean finished up on his car and headed back into the house. He was glad to be distracted with dinner that night. Unfortunately he had another nightmare when he went to sleep. The nightmare was a different one though. He was in his Impala, driving with Sam riding shotgun as usual. He could feel the tension in the car as Sam glared at him. Suddenly Sam tore off his seatbelt and took hold of the wheel. He turned it hard, causing the car to go off the road. He yelled at his brother to let go but now neither of them had control of the car. The Impala was going straight down a very steep hill and at a very fast pace. Then for some odd reason, the Impala started literally breaking into pieces. Next thing he knew, he was free-falling through the air. He was plummeting straight through darkness with no idea of when he would reach the bottom.
Dean woke up in a cold sweat. He was lying on his back, limbs sprawled and chest heaving up and down. The dream had given him a new kind of terror. He growled in frustration and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. He didn't need his brain coming up with new ways to torture him at night. He only hoped there wouldn't be any other new nightmares after that.
The next morning, Dean walked downstairs in jeans and a black shirt. Bobby was already up (the guy had always said he didn't sleep much) and drinking some coffee while he read the paper. He mumbled a good morning before going into the kitchen and getting a piece of toast for himself. He wasn't that hungry anyway. He took his toast into the living room and sat down, turning on the TV.
There was nothing but crap on today. He eventually decided to stop on a channel where a baseball game was playing. He watched it until it finally ended at around 1pm. He shut off the TV and looked towards Bobby who was cleaning one of his shotguns. The older man must have sensed Dean looking at him, because Bobby looked up and frowned at him. Bobby still didn't like seeing him lying around on the couch like that.
"Dean, are you doing anything productive today?" Bobby asked. Before Dean could answer, he continued, "Well you are. There's a place in town called Harvelle Roadhouse. Good place with good food and good people. I know Ellen Harvelle, who owns the place. She even has a daughter who is about your age. I want you to go and meet them. Be social."
Dean scowled slightly. Bobby was beginning to sound more like a father, and the way a father should be unlike the deadbeat dad he and Sam had. He wasn't sure if he appreciated it or hated it. He did understand why Bobby was doing this though. He wanted him to see people. He wanted Dean to be less reliant on him and be able to cope with being on his own.
Dean finally stood up and nodded to Bobby. "Alright, I'll go," he said.
Bobby nodded in approval and said as a warning, "Remember, be social."
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he said, feeling a little annoyed.
He had agreed to do it. Bobby didn't have to keep pushing him. He ignored the fact that he was getting angry over something as small as this and left the house. He got into the Impala and drove into town. He recalled seeing the Harvelle Roadhouse the day before when he had been doing a self tour of Sioux Falls. Dean hoped he was going in the right direction, and was relieved when he saw the Roadhouse just up ahead.
Dean pulled into the car lot and parked before walking in. The Roadhouse was getting a fair amount of business today by the looks of it. He went up to the bar where a young, pretty blonde woman worked behind the counter.
The blonde smiled at him and said, "Hey, what can I get you today?"
"Uh…" Dean glanced at the chalkboard menus they had and said, "I'll have a shot of bourbon if you don't mind."
"Sure thing, it's coming right up!" said the girl cheerfully before turning to get Dean's drink.
He watched the girl get him a glass of bourbon and smiled when she set it in front of him.
"Thanks," he said to her, raising his glass and taking a drink.
"No problem," said the girl. Then she leaned forward, looking at him. "I don't think I've seen you around here before. What's your name?"
"Dean Winchester," he introduced himself. "I'm working at Bobby's salvage yard. Know him?"
"Bobby Singer?" the girl asked for confirmation. When Dean nodded, her eyes lit up and she said, "Everyone knows him. He's a good friend of my mom's. I'm Jo Harvelle, my mom is Ellen and she's the one who actually owns this place."
"So it's a family business then?" he queried after taking another swig of his bourbon.
"Yep," said Jo. "So did you know Bobby before you started working there or what?"
"He was a close friend of my dad's," Dean explained. "He's pretty much family to me, and he offered me a place to stay when I had nowhere to go." his eyes darkened as he thought back to the night he and Sam had split.
"Is it a sore subject?" Jo guessed.
"Yeah, it is," said Dean with a slight nod. "Don't really want to talk about it."
"I won't ask then," said Jo politely. "Are you hungry, Dean? We have plenty of food here too, if you want any."
"Food would be great, actually," he admitted. He looked back at the menu and read the options they had for the day. "I think I'll have the steak burger," he decided.
"All right. I'll be right back then," said Jo.
He nodded and Jo disappeared through a door to what was probably the kitchen.
"Ah, I just missed her," said a voice coming up beside him.
Dean turned his head and saw a young man with black hair and eyes that were a deep, azure blue. The man had a bit of stubble on his face and he wore what looked like a priest's outfit with a white collar and black boots. He held what looked like a pamphlet in his hands.
His voice sounded somewhat familiar, and he was dressed like a priest. Could this be the same priest he had just spoken to the day before? Dean had no idea, but he realized at this point he was staring a little bit. And the man was looking right back at him.
"Um," Dean cleared his throat. "She went to get my food. Shouldn't be too long," he said with a nervous smile. "What's that you're holding there?"
The man looked at his pamphlet and said, "Oh this is just for my sermon I plan to have this Sunday. People seem to look forward to my sermons and usually ask what I'll be speaking about next. My superior suggested I hand out pamphlets instead of having to repeat the same answer to every single person who asked."
"Makes sense," said Dean with a nod. "Um…mind if I take look?" He gestured to the pamphlet in the priest's hand.
"Not at all. What's your name?" the man asked as he handed over the pamphlet.
"Dean Winchester," he said looking at the pamphlet. It looked like for his next sermon the priest would be speaking about forgiveness and the challenges that come with it. "Huh…interesting…" he murmured mostly to himself.
"Dean?" the priest's voice brought his attention back to him. "Might you be the same Dean I spoke with yesterday?"
"Depends. Are there a lot of Deans around here?" he asked jokingly.
That made the priest chuckle and say, "Well, not really. My name is Castiel Novak by the way."
"Castiel, huh. That's an unusual name, isn't it?"
Castiel gave him a nod and said, "Castiel is the name of the angel of Thursday. My family is very religious. They own the church too."
"Nice," said Dean, taking another drink of his bourbon.
"You know, Dean. I think it would do you some good to come this Sunday. Only if you are interested, however," Castiel offered.
Dean frowned. Yes, he had gone into a confession yesterday. However, he still hadn't decided if he wanted to do another one. Now Castiel was asking him to come to an actual sermon.
"Ah…" Dean rubbed the back of his head, feeling very unsure about this.
Castiel smiled kindly at him and said, "Just think about it. You don't have to come, but I think it would be very helpful if you did."
Dean sighed in relief, grateful that Castiel was giving him time to decide. Just then, Jo returned with his food and he was glad to have some distraction. Jo greeted Castiel and the priest showed her the pamphlet. As he ate his food, he noticed the two of them knew each other pretty well. He wondered if Sioux Falls was the kind of town where everyone knew everyone. It was possible, anyway.
He was just finishing up the last of his burger before Castiel turned and spoke to him again. "I'll be going now. I hope to see you at church this Sunday, Dean."
"I'll definitely think about it," said Dean with a nod.
Castiel gave Dean and Jo a wave and left the Roadhouse. Dean drank the rest of his bourbon and pushed the glass towards where Jo was standing.
"Done already?" Jo asked him, taking the glass.
"Yeah. It was delicious too," he said with a forced smile. "Thanks."
He reached into his pocket to get out his wallet and paid for his meal. He didn't add a tip since he hadn't brought enough to do so. Dean thought it would be a good idea for him to head out. He had done what Bobby had asked; he had socialized a little bit and even gotten himself a meal with his own hard earned money.
As he turned to leave, he heard Jo say to him, "Come back soon, you hear?"
"Maybe," he gave a similar response he had given to Castiel.
Dean wasn't really one to get close to people outside of his family. Sam and Bobby had really been the only ones he actually cared about. They were the two most important people to him. He had been pretty close to his mom too, before she died in a fire. His dad didn't even come close to being family to him, despite their biological connections.
He didn't want to start letting anyone get close to him either. Sam's departure had been almost like a betrayal. While it was Sam who had done the leaving, he still blamed a lot of it on himself. He wished he could have done something different so Sam wouldn't have to hide that from him. He wished he had kept a closer eye on his brother. Dean had officially ruined that relationship between them, and he knew it.
When Dean and Sam had been on the road, many girls had caught his eye. However he hadn't tried to get to know any of them. It was usually just meeting a girl at a bar, having sex with her that night, and then leaving her life forever the next day. Sometimes it was a guy, but they were scarce since Dean usually preferred girls over guys.
Dean got into the Impala and pulled out of the lot. Dean glanced at his watch and noticed he still had several hours to kill before he should go back to Bobby's. He decided to drive out of town. He wasn't leaving; he just wanted some time to himself. Besides, being on the road with the Impala did help calm him a lot. So He took the exit back onto the interstate and just drove.
He drove several miles away from Sioux Falls. He made sure not to go too far that he would run out of gas before he could get to a gas station. He drove for a solid two hours and was pleased to see that he was the only one on this road. Eventually he decided to turn back. As he did, Dean turned on the radio and put on AC/DC. He started moving his head to the beat of the current song that was playing as he drove back to town.
It was late evening as Dean drove into the town limits. The sun was low on the horizon so he took the road back towards Bobby's. He was going around a bend when a figure suddenly came into his line of sight.
"Shit!" Dean swore loudly.
Dean jerked the wheel to the right, making the car veer off and away from the figure. He thought he felt something hit the car and he paled, hoping he hadn't just killed someone. He slammed his foot on the brake and put the car in park before getting out of the car, cursing himself. The person he had nearly run over was on his butt, breathing hard and looking shocked. When he got closer, he saw that it was Castiel Novak.
"Oh God I am so sorry," Dean apologized as he knelt next to the fallen priest. "Did I hit you?"
Castiel shook his head and said, "Not really but I…" He tried to push himself up and Dean extended a hand to pull him up on his feet. Castiel grimaced and put a hand on Dean's shoulder for support. "I think I've sprained my ankle."
"Oh man, I am so sorry," Dean apologized again. "It's my fault. I should have been paying more attention and driving slower."
"No, Dean," Castiel protested. "It was my fault. I was too far onto the road."
He wanted to argue, but he also knew that Castiel would need help. "Do you think you can walk? I can give you a ride home if you want."
"I appreciate it but…" Castiel pulled his hand back and stepped forward. "I can manage."
As soon as those words left his mouth, Castiel accidently put too much weight on his sprained foot and nearly lost his balance. Dean grabbed him by the arm and used two hands to keep him steady. Castiel gave Dean an apologetic smile.
"If you wouldn't mind?"
"Not at all," said Dean, feeling a desire to make up for spraining Castiel's ankle. "Come on, I'll help you to my Impala."
"Thank you," Castiel murmured as Dean put an arm around him to keep him balanced on his good foot.
Dean slowly led Castiel to the passenger seat of the Impala and opened the door for him. Castiel got himself inside and Dean went around to his side. He got in and looked to make sure Castiel was buckled in before starting up the car again. As he drove further into town, he realized he didn't know where Castiel's house was.
"Er, Castiel? Can I just call you Cas?" Dean asked, realizing Castiel really was an unusual name to pronounce.
Castiel looked mildly surprised, but he made a small smile. "I don't mind. I take it you need directions to my home?"
"Yeah," said Dean with a nod.
Castiel looked out the window to see where they were. From there, he directed Dean to where his house was. He was surprised to see that it was the house with the white picket fence and flower beds. He even saw the blue Ford Mustang sitting in the driveway.
"So this is your house?" Dean asked, looking at Castiel.
"Yes. I recall seeing you parked in front of the entrance while getting gas."
"Sorry about that, by the way," Dean thought he needed to apologize for that as well. "I should have left the house on a full tank, but like the idiot I am, I didn't bother to."
"You're not an idiot, Dean," said Castiel gently. "Would you help me out of the car, please?"
Dean nodded and got out of the car. He went around to Castiel's side and helped him out. He walked with Castiel to his front door, not wanting him to trip on the way. Castiel unlocked the door and opened it, using the handle as support as he walked across the threshold. He turned to look at Dean.
"Thank you Dean, you have been very kind," said Castiel with a smile. "I am in your debt."
"Don't worry about it, Cas," Dean reassured him. "I don't deserve anything, really. I'm just glad I didn't screw up getting you back home."
Castiel frowned, studying him closely. He had a feeling the man didn't think very highly of himself. Castiel felt a little sorry for him. He thought back to what Dean had told him during confession, and guessed it was related to that.
"Dean, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You were nothing but kind to me and that is the important part," Castiel said.
"I guess…" said Dean with a heavy sigh. He rubbed the back of his head, feeling slightly awkward. "Are you going to be okay?"
Castiel smiled again and said, "Yes Dean. Again, thank you."
"Alright…I'm going to go home then," said Dean, letting his hand drop back to his side.
"I still hope you will come on Sunday. I am serious about that," Castiel said.
Dean made a half smile that was still uncertain. "Maybe I will," he told him. "Good night Cas," he said before backing up a step and turning around.
"Good night, Dean," Castiel said before closing the door.
Dean walked back to the Impala and got in. He thought Castiel was a good guy. Even though he had nearly run him over, Castiel still forgave him. That had definitely surprised him, but he wasn't sure if that had been genuine or out of pity. He didn't want anyone to pity him.
He drove back home to Bobby's. He went into the house and heard a gruff greeting from Bobby. Dean told him goodnight and headed upstairs to bed. Castiel remained in his thoughts even as his head hit the pillow. He was starting to feel a certain curiosity about the man. He also found himself looking forward to Sunday as he fell asleep that night.