Okay! Here it is haha. I really really hope you guys enjoy. Sorry I do multiple stories at a time, I just want my readers and people to stay entertained with different stories:)))
(You MUST WATCH THE ANIME TO THIS. ITS. FUCKING. AMAZING.)
Anyways, here's the first chapter to: Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi - This Can't Be Love.
(DISCLAIMER! I DON'T OWN ANY CHARACTERS!)
*Oi =Hey
*Hai = Yes
*Nani = What
*Baka = Idiot
*Darame = Shut Up
*Anata wa totemo meiwakudesu = You're so Annoying
From the first moment I stepped into this awful building, I knew I'd regret it. Even though It's been a year since I've started, it's still my version of a living Hell. Of course, I've gotten use to most things that go on around here. The cycles, the yelling and the arguing, the attitudes and the people.
"Oi!* RITSU!"
Well...not all of the people.
"OI!"
"Hai, Hai*, what do you want? I'm BUSY!"
"With what?! YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE!"
I sighed, slumping into my chair exhaustingly. "Why are you yelling?! Do you ever not yell at the office?"
"Of course," Takano said calmly, giving me his usual intense stare. I shook my head and averted my gaze, feeling Takano's stare on the back of my head. Oooi, this is unfair! After such a long time, I still feel like this when we're alone! Why can't I just act normal-huh?! Why's my heart racing?! Why am I getting warm?! "Huh-TAKANO!"
His face was right next to mine, cheeks almost touching, only inches separating contact. His gaze was directed at the laptop's monitor. "Hai."
"YOU'RE TOO CLOSE! BACK AWAY BACK AWAY BACK AWAY!" I pushed myself away, only to be stopped by his arm. He pulled my chair closer, pointing to words on the screen.
"You can't use this."
"H-Huh? But-"
"It lacks confidence and drama. Fix it."
"Wh-Wh-Whaaaaa?! YOU WANT ME TO REDO ALL Of THE STORYBOARDS!"
"Yes. It's half assed, which isn't acceptable." His eyes burnt into mine. That solemn face made my heart race.
Oiiii, you can hear my heart! What if he hears it?! Stop it, stop it! Maybe he'll think it's his own heart and not mine. That's right! He admitted that his heart always raced whenever we were close! He'll think it's his!
"Oi, Ritsu."
"Huh?"
He leaned closer, cupping my chin. Oh no, this is bad. Bad Bad Bad BAD! I have to stop this. What if Yokozawa walks in and sees? He'll hate me more and I don't want that! I look at Takano's face as he repeated my name. "Ritsu."
"Hai..?"
He slowly got closer, his lips inches away from my cheek as he whispered, "Your hearts too loud. You need to calm it down."
"..." Oh….he heard-WAIT! I need to calm IT down!? I can't, that's impossible!
"OOOIII! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I NEED TO CALM IT DOWN?!"
Takano sat back, pulling away from me. "It's annoying."
"ANNOYING?!" I..I was enraged at that idiot, not knowing what to say or do. He pissed me off. He did then, he does now and he will in the future. "Gahh, anata wa totemo meiwakudesu!"*
"Hm? It's not my fault you're irritating."
"Irritating? IRRITATING!? If I'm so damn irritating, Takano, then why do you keep bugging me?!"
"Huh?"
I quickly stood up and pushed my chair away. "You're the one that's always bugging me! You're the one that constantly flirts with me and won't leave me alone! You can easily leave me alone! Can't you get a clue! I'm always pushing you away and telling you to back off! Don't you get it! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" Crap.
Takano's eyes widened as he inhaled sharply. I was panting, trying to catch my breath. I knew i messed up by saying that last part. I knew I just fucked up. I knew I did! His eyes showed an emotion that I had never seen from him and my heart swelled with guilt and regret. Takano's face darkened as he looked down. His knuckles had turned white due to his grip on the arms of his swivel chair.
"Takano-"
"Damare!"*
"Huh?'
"Damare!...d..damare.." He stood up and grabbed his bags, leaving his coat on his chair. "Get out of my way," he demanded, pushing me aside as he hastily left the building.
"W-wait! Takano!" I stood here, thinking of what I just did. Would this affect me negatively in the future? Or...would it benefit me? I guess….it would be fine. He probably won't talk to me anymore, which will finally let me concentrate on work. But, no matter what I told myself, I knew I fucked up. He didn't deserve that….. My eyes widened as I realized something. Was...what Yokozawa said...true? Am….am I leading Takano on?
*flashback; 4 weeks ago*
I hurried onto the elevator and sighed as it slowly began to close.
"Wait, I need on."
My gaze shifted towards the voice of the sales manager. Great. I frowned and looked away as he stood behind me.
"Masamune spoke to me."
I inhaled sharply, already feeling teary eyed. He called him by his first name again…."Oh."
"He told me to leave you alone. I won't stop trying to win his affections, but I will keep my promise and leave you alone."
The elevator opened and Yokozawa stepped out. "I looked over your report. It's good."
"huh?" I ran out and stopped behind him. "Th-thank you, Mr. Yokozawa!"
"Don't thank me. Dealing with these subjects, I'll support you." He looked away from me. "It's my job." He stood up straight and faced me. "Onodera. Do you love Masamune?"
I froze and stared at the ground. Do I love Takano? No, that's impossible. But. Last night...I willingly slept with him….willingly touched him….willingly….kissed him. This Can't be love. I won't allow it to be, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, I know I do! I do love him and I've never stopped! I looked up at Yokozawa. "Y...yes."
"Hm. I don't know what your intentions are with Masamune, but, from my viewpoint of things, you're just leading him on; giving him hope he has a chance. If you hurt him, I'll take him away from you." And with that, he spun around and left.
*present*
No...maybe...I am leading him on…..I mean….last night we...we were kissing as if we'd never see each other again. And now?...I told him I want nothing to do with him.
"Chikushō!"*
"Eh? Onodera?"
I looked behind me and saw Yokozawa. He was holding his jacket and bag, staring at me tiredly.
"Yokozawa? Why are you here?"
He yawned. "Work. I decided to catch up on work since I won't be in for 3 days."
I gasped in surprise. "Wh-Where are you going?"
He scratched his head then folded his arms. "Takano contacted me 4 minutes ago asking if I'd go to the hotsprings with him in the morning. It was sudden, but I'd like a break."
Takano….asked Yokozawa to go to the hotsprings with him for...three days?! Is he trying to make me mad? ...no….Takano isn't like that..not at all..
He began staring at me through narrowed eyes. He lazily walked over to where Takano left his jacket. "Why are you here so late?"
"Huh?"
He sighed and glanced at me from over his shoulder. "Why are you still here?"
"O-oh. I had some storyboards to go over and fix.."
He walked towards me and nodded. "Head home and get some rest." He disappeared around the corner. I frowned, just noticing something. Why was Yokozawa on this floor? He doesn't work on this floor….did….did Takano tell him to get his jacket?
"?!" I frustratingly shook my head. "Gahh, why do I care! It's none of my business...but...I feel like I should apologize for what I said…" I Grabbed my bag and put on my jacket and scarf, then I got into the elevator and ran to the apartments.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe...it was a mistake? No no..it..it was good..right? No. It was bad. I can't even bring myself to knock on the door or to ring the bell!? Oi, Ritsu. I have an idea, yeah? Why don't you just walk into your own apartment and leave him alone, yeah? "No," I whispered. "No, no more running…" I wouldn't allow it this time. Not again.
I sighed as I inhaled a quick breath. Here it goes. I stared at the door and held my breath, then reached out my hand and knocked on the door once.
…..
Hm..I knocked on the door for the second time.
…..
I frowned. "Takano! Oi, Takano, open up!" I continued knocking on the door, almost violently. I froze as I heard a scoff from behind me. I spun around and saw Takano standing behind me with a grocery bag. A glare was set on his face as he stared at me, his eyes intense and….unwelcoming. I gulped, not liking his stare.
"Takano…-"
"Hai. What do you want?" he spat harshly.
"I...I.." I looked away with a frown. "Where were you? I've been knocking on your door for a while."
"Five minutes isn't 'awhile', Onodera." He walked to his door and opened it, then walked inside, leaving the door opened. He took off his shoes and slipped on his slippers, looking over his shoulder. "Are you just going to stand there or come in?"
"Hai, uh, of course.." I stepped into his apartment and took off my shoes. I followed him into his kitchen and sat on a chair. Takano set the bags near the sink and removed his personal bag. His solemn expression wasn't on his face, which was unusual for him. I couldn't tell if he was mad, sad, happy or emotional. I hated not being able to read his expressions. It bugged me to an extent that actually drove me crazy!
"Um, Takano..?"
"Hai?"
"I...I'm sorry."
He turned to look at me. "Eh? Sorry?"
I glared at him. Was...what I said not offensive to him? Did it really not bug him? But….if it didn't bug him...why was I so bothered by it? I shouldn't be bothered by it..It doesn't seem like as big of a deal as I thought it would be. "For what I said at the office.."
"Ah, What part are you sorry for?" He turned towards his sink and began washing dishes. "The part where you were yelling or the part where you were being over dramatic?"
He really isn't bothered by what I told him. But….Why did he act that way then..? "For..saying the things I said."
"What things?"
I glared at him angrily. "You know what? Never mind. This was a waste of my time, baka!" I turned around and began to walk, but was stopped by a hand grabbing my elbow.
"Ritsu." I was turned around and slammed into a wall. My eyes focused on the chest in front of me. A hand guided my eyes to look at its owner and a blush covered my face as he got closer, causing our noses to touch. I tried looking away, but his hand refrained me from doing so. "Ritsu."
"Oi, baka, let me go!" I struggled in his grip. "Takano, let me go." I tried shoving him away, but it only made his grip tighter. I pulled my hand free and next thing I knew, Takano's eyes were widened and he was standing two feet away from me, holding his cheek. He looked up at me, surprised. I couldn't quite believe what I had done either. Whatever this was…..Whatever I had done…..I could already tell it only made things worse.
"Takano, I-"
"Darame….darame, Onodera." He looked up at me. "Why did you hit me?"
"Y-you wouldn't let me go. I...I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to do that.." I shook my head. "I..I really didn't mean to! I'm...I'M SORRY!" I spun around and darted out of the the house, picking up my shoes on the way out, slamming the door closed behind me. I reached in my pockets and pulled out my keys, then quickly unlocked my door. As soon as I stepped in, I locked my door and stood with my back pressed against it. My eyes shut tightly, wanting to forget that I had just hit Takano. What the Hell? He didn't deserve that, did he? No, he didn't! What was wrong with me…..
"Shit…." Shaking my head, I slid down so that I was sitting on the cold wooden floor. It was dark and felt chilly, as if I were in an icy Wonderland, yet there was no sign of cold anywhere to be seen. I relaxed my head against the door and frowned, feeling teary eyed. Why...why did I feel so complicated and confused? Why didn't I like seeing him sad? Why was I bothered by his plans to go to the hotsprings with Yokozawa for three days? This...it couldn't possibly be love. I don't love Takano….I..I don't love Masamune Takano….
The sun was shining and the cherry blossoms were floating to the ground. There was a light breeze that flowed throughout the sky, blowing barely visible clouds around. I sat in the library, my hands between my legs, gripping the cloth of my pants, nervous of the person next to me.
'it's alright, Ritsu. Stay calm…'
"Oda, that's incorrect. You're not doing it right. "
"Ah! S-sorry, Senpai!" I quickly erased the work on my paper. 'this happens every time! I'm too distracted by him!'
I sighed as I looked down at my smudgy paper. "Dangit…"
A hand settled on my shoulder. "Let's be done for the day, Oda." Senpai stood up and picked up his jacket. I quickly got up and closed my books, shoved them in my bag and followed Saga-Senpai. We walked in silence as we exited the school library. He stared in front of him with his hands shoved into his pockets. His hair lightly waved as the cool breeze swept through it.
"S-Senpai?"
"Hai."
"Why aren't your parents ever home?"
He stopped walking and looked at me. "My mom's a lawyer and my father works in the medical field." He sighed and continued walking.
"At least you have your cat to keep you company, Senpai, haha." I smiled and he looked at me. A blush crept across his face and his eyes slightly widened. He quickly looked away.
"I guess."
"Hm? Why's that?"
"I'm more thankful I have you to keep me company, Oda."
"Wh-what are you talking about? D-Dont say that, Saga-Senpai…" I looked away and went to fold my arms, but I stopped as fingers slid in between mine, holding my hand softly. I turned my gaze to Senpai and blushed. "S-Senpai-"
"Sh. Stop talking." He pulled me closer and let go of my hand only to wrap his arm around my shoulder. "Come over tonight."
"Huh? Wh-why? I.i don't think I can, I mean I have a lot of homework and I'm not sure my parents would allow it and-"
His lips smashed against mine. My eyes stayed opened as he pulled away. He tapped on his tongue. "Oda, don't squeeze your lips so tight together."
"O-oh! Yes, I'm sorry!" I looked away. "I-Ill come over, I suppose.."
"Great."
We walked silently again as we approached his house. This would be my third time going to his house, and it felt like the first. Every Time felt like the first time...every kiss felt like the first. Every hug, touch and word felt like the first. Was I really that in love with Senpai?
We walked inside and I took my shoes off and headed to his room. He closed his door and looked at me. I held my bag and sat on the edge of his bed.
"Oda…" I looked up as he called my name. He knelt in front of me and cupped my chin, pulling me closer to him and connecting our lips. I closed my eyes and sighed as i loosened my mouth, not wanting it to be too tight. As soon as I did this, Saga-Senpai's tongue rubbed against my lips. Catching me by surprise, I tightened my lips once more. He pulled away and tapped his tongue.
"Oda-"
"I-I know! S-sorry…" I frowned. "I...I'm still getting use to this…."
He pulled my chin towards him and kissed me again, lightly nibbling on my bottom lip. I slowly relaxed, barely parting my lips. I inhaled sharply and gripped Senpai's shirt, pulling him closer. He grabbed my hands and released his shirt from my grasp, placing my hands on the buttons of his shirt. Was he indicating me to unbuttoned them? Even if he wasn't, that's exactly what I did. Slowly, my fingers fumbled with the buttons of his white dress shirt while he squeezed my lower thigh. His hand slid up and I gasped, quickly pulling away.
"Oda-"
"S-sorry, Saga-Senpai…" Even though it wasn't the first time, it still felt like it. I was just as nervous as the first time and just as scared...but why?
Saga-Senpai chuckled and pinned me to the bed. He trapped my legs beneath him as he put one leg on each side of my thighs. He held both of my wrists, with one hand, above my head and his free hand pulled my face closer as he kissed me. I closed my eyes as he slowly pulled. I felt his breath against my neck and I opened my eyes. His face was buried in my neck as one of his hands softly caressed my head.
"Oda…" He pulled away and stared down at me. I blushed as his cheeks turned pink. "Oda-"
"I love you, Saga-Senpai," I said as I kissed him. "I'm inlove with you, Senpai."
"...Uh..huh?"
"Onodera, wake up!"
I looked up and rubbed my eyes. Huh...guess I fell asleep by the door. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. There was a knock on my door. No, not a knock, a pounding. I rubbed my head and stood up. My back was sore and my neck ached badly. My hand reaches the handle and I opened the door, seeing Takano. He was folding his arms frustratingly, tapping his foot.
"Hai..?"
"It's time to get up," he said angrily.
Get up? I took my phone out and looked at the time. Fuck. I'm 3 hours late for work! "Shit…"
Takano handed me a stack of papers. "I won't be in for some days, so I need you to look over these then leave them on my desk. Go over each one no less than three times, understood?"
"THREE TIMES?!" I sighed and took the stack of paper. "Baka*…..Fine. where are you going?"
"I'm going to the hotsprings," he said as I turned around to take my jacket off. I froze. That's right...him and Yokozawa are going to the hotsprings….for three days… alone.. "Oh.."
Takano nodded and stared at me. "Ritsu."
I looked at him and yelped. He was a couple centimeters away from my face and I blushed. He kissed me passionately, then pulled away, walked out and left. I stood there in shock. I didn't quite understand why I was shocked. He always kissed me without out telling me he was planning to. Hm...doesn't matter. I need to get to work. I shook my head and sighed, putting my jacket back on and picking my bag up. "I don't have enough time to change. I need to hurry."
I stepped out and locked my door, but froze as I heard Yokozawa and Takano. I looked to my right and saw Yokozawa holding a luggage of some sort. Takano shook his head as Yokozawa murmured something. A smile appeared on Takano's face. Why was seeing someone else make him smile making me so upset? Was it because I wanted to make him smile? Make him laugh? Make him….happy?
Uhg. No. I shook my head and tried to quickly walk past the two.
"Of course not, why would such thing intimidate me? Are you trying to make me jealous?"
My ears perked up at Yokozawa's question. What's Takano going to say?
"I might. Even if I am, it wouldn't matter. "
Oh….I quickly entered the elevator. Takano looked at me as I rapidly pushed the button for the two doors to close. Hurry up for God's sake! The doors closed and I sighed. Was...was Takano trying to make Yokozawa jealous somehow? What was he doing? Why was he doing it? Was I just a toy to him? I might be….he doesn't like me, nor love me. But…...it shouldn't matter because I hate him. Hate everything about him. He's annoying and a mistake. I should've never stayed. It was all a mistake..
I got out of the elevator and ran to the train that would take me to work. I got on and sat down before it could get too crowded. Looking out of the glass window, I thought of the dream I had the previous night. Why was I dreaming about Takano….it seemed more like a memory than a dream since I called him….Saga-Senpai…...yes. it was a memory. I remember it clearly now even though I was trying to push back into the deepest parts of my mind. The train stopped and I quickly got out and ran to the building. I entered and was greeted by Yoshino. He smiled warmly. Why's he so happy today?
"Nē*, Ritsu!"
I nodded in response. "Hey, Yoshino."
We both stepped into the elevator. He looked at me. "You're here quite late, Onodera."
"I woke up late."
He giggled. "Did you not take a shower?"
I frowned and had a tendency to hit him in the head with my bag. "Darame."
He laughed and we both exited the elevator. Over the past year, the famous shoujo mangaka had been visiting very often. At first, he didn't ever show his face, but he usually came only to talk to Hatori. Over the visits, we had became really close friends. I was even able to be one of his editors due to his request. He told me a lot of things as our friendship grew. He told me about his past, how long he's been a Manga artist and about his...relationship. I soon figured out why he came to visit Hatori a lot. They were together. I was surprised when he mentioned it. He didn't mean to, it had just slipped out.
"Oi, Ritsu."
"Nani*?"
"Is it bothering you that Takano won't be here?"
And, in return to match his embarrassment, I told him about my past relationship with Takano. I also told him about the things happening between us currently.
"I hate to admit it," he said, "but it does sound like you reciprocate his feelings."
Pft. Yea right. Even he says I'm in denial with my feelings towards Takano.
"No. Why would I be?"
"Well. He is going to the hotsprings with someone who has deep feelings for him."
"If he wants to play a jealous game, he can go ahead and do that, but I won't let it affect me." I folded my arms in disappointment. I really shouldn't participate in it.
"I say you go for it," he said as we entered the office. Hatori sat in his usual spot, looking over Yoshino's storyboards. He looked up and smiled as we entered.
"Tori," Yoshino said. "If someone were to make someone else jealous on purpose, would the other person have the right to do the same?"
Taken back, Hatori frowned. "Why do you ask?"
"Problems have arose and I must help a friend!" he said enthusiastically. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as Hatori looked at me.
"I, personally, wouldn't do it. But I'm guessing you're talking about Takano. Well, in your case, I would. He plays with your feelings all the time, so it shouldn't hurt messing with his."
I shook my head. "No. I'll pass."
"Awe, come on! Do it! You're not a toy, Ritsu!" Yoshino smiles brightly. "I'll help out. Hatori and I will find someone to take you to the hotsprings and make Takano jealous!"
"Nani?! Now of course not-"
Yoshino grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "I'm helping you whether you like it or not, okay?"
I sighed and nodded. "Fine…" Why was I letting something as stupid as jealously making me do this? This Can't Be jealousy, but it it's not, then what is it? What could it possibly be? I don't like Takano. I don't love him. I don't feeling anything towards him, do I? Of course not.
Jealousy...It's not jealousy, it's me being upset because he's always messing with my emotions, putting false hope into my head…
Hope….fuck.
This Can't be love.