Thank you guest who corrected my filters. I had them set but they weren't saved for some reason.
"Chrom, could use a hand–!"
"We did it, Robin!... We won!"
"...You okay?"
"Father!"
"No!"
Robin shuddered awake, squeezing his eyes tight to purge the images. Unlike other dreams these lingered, reminding him they were his. They were his dreams, his thoughts. Every night for the last week.
The pillow under his face was damp. He reached for the cut on his forehead, feeling only cold sweat. What was he doing wrong? What did he do that brought these vivid dreams on so frequently? He loved Chrom like a brother, could think of no nobler cause than the one they fought for. Why would his mind conjure something so terrible, let alone allow himself to relive it every night?
Guilt plagued him throughout his routines now. He diversified his activities to keep his mind busy but every night the dream would be there, sure as his cot.
Sensing another early morning Robin rocked himself over the edge, bare feet sending chills up his body. The earth was cold, fall nights giving the air a nip that reminded everyone the seasons were changing. Robin was just grateful it kept him awake.
He donned a blanket and pushed out of his tent, stumbling on the hem. He really was exhausted, but if going back to sleep would repeat the same cycle he'd rather just suffer through the next day and collapse tomorrow night.
It was another new moon and crickets sang in the night. Stars spread the sky like a tapestry, but he only watched them a moment before moving to the fire pit. The coals had turned black. He quietly placed two logs over them and snapped his fingers. He was too impatient to deal with tinder tonight – he was cold and irritable. The flames breathed to life before him in time to catch another chill and he sat back against the large log, bundling himself closer.
Their campaign against Walhart was going well. Too well, for Robin's preference. He was largely unneeded, basic mobile infantry tactics had proven effective disrupting supply lines and until the enemy adapted Robin saw no need to adjust proven methods. Even so, Robin wasn't a planner. He was an improviser. So when he had backup plans, and his backup plans had contingency plans, he knew he was beating a dead horse. The battlefield was like predicting a falling leaf. The the only way to base a reliable course of action was after he saw what he was working with. Chances were none of his backups would ever be given voice, all locked in his mental vault until deleted to make room for other things he'd never need.
"I didn't think you were on watch tonight."
Robin jumped at the voice, eyes adjusting to make out Lucina emerging from the darkness that led to the rest of camp. He closed his eyes as his heart calmed, chuckling.
"You're out late, Princess."
He didn't ask why. She wore a long sleeping tunic and combat boots, tousled hair missing tiara. What one might throw on if they couldn't sleep and wanted to take a midnight stroll.
Lucina shivered slightly, staring at the fire. She looked like she didn't want to intrude again.
Robin extended a wing of blanket, facing the flames. They'd shared closer proximity on more than one battlefield, he didn't give it much thought as she stepped forward hesitantly, then moved to sit beside him. He handed her the edge of the blanket around her shoulders and retracted his arm, letting her hold her side of their shelter closed.
"How have you been doing?"
It took him a moment to hear the words, and then another to understand them. Her large eyes flickered in the firelight, watching him with concern. She wasn't making small talk. She recognized when her soldiers weren't well, and he wasn't so stubborn to pretend he was otherwise. But he also couldn't share that... God awful dream with her. It was his problem, he would sort it out.
"Not so hot." He smiled, not bothering to lie, "Just ah... Sometimes sleep... Well, you of all people..."
Lucina nodded, still watching him after he turned back to the fire. She didn't speak for a while. Robin didn't mind. Just being this close to her was comforting. She spent little time socializing with most Shepherds, but he enjoyed his time around her. She was the heir of their kingdom and second-in-command of their unit, he couldn't ask for more than that. They'd spoken more since their last fireside conversation, Robin's rotating schedule frequently coinciding with her being everywhere at once. Perhaps that's why it didn't feel strange to sit so close. He'd heard it was a sign of genuine friendship, when two people could simply be around one another without talking. Just enjoying one another's company. He hoped that was true.
"I could watch the stars all night." She muttered beside him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He was with company now. Had to think less.
"Are you a night-person?"
She smiled at that.
"Not particularly. But we didn't have them in the future. I remember bits, almost like... Portraits. Of how they used to look, growing up. After the world ended, the sky was always dark, and the clouds never parted."
"Yeah." He agreed absentmindedly.
She looked at him.
"...But seeing them like this..." She turned her attention skywards again, "It's beautiful. Few take the time to notice them, or smell flowers on the side of the road... I'm going to miss them."
"Miss them?" Robin turned to her, confused. "What are you talking about?"
She looked surprised by his tone.
"After all this is over... I have to go back."
He shook his head uncomprehendingly.
"This isn't my world."
"I don't mean to offend, but your world sounds terrible. Why would you ever return?"
"It's where I came from. Terrible or not, it's where I belong." Lucina answered simply.
She'd apparently come to terms with this fact long ago. Robin understood now why she always seemed at arm's length. The only people she spent considerable time with among the Shepherds were her parents. She didn't want to make attachments she knew she'd eventually have to leave behind with her inevitable journey home. It was ultimately her decision but... He didn't want her to leave.
"Does your father know?"
"I've mentioned it before. I suppose it would be proper to bring it up again before departing."
"Lucina..."
She sat straight, looking at him seriously as if hit by an epiphany.
"Is that where the expression comes from? 'Take the time to smell the flowers on the side of the road?'"
Robin stared for a moment. He chuckled at the change of tone, but at her genuinely curious expression had to stifle laughter. Her eyes flashed which made the demand for such trivia that much more endearing. She was so knowledgeable of politics, government, military tactics, capable of maneuvering an embassy and battlefield with equal ease – virtually anything important or useful in the real world she was adept at. Her naivety for the mundane was... Cute.
Lucina leaned into him suddenly almost pushing him over, indignant eyes warning him to answer her.
"W-we just say 'stop and smell the roses,' usually. But yes, that's where it comes from. Appreciate the little things." Robin managed through a smile, using his arm to right himself. She nodded, mouthing the words to herself as she looked into the fire.
Readjusting his half of the blanket to retain the escaping heat, he realized how close they were sitting since she leaned over, somehow shrinking their already intimate distance. His face began to heat more, blanket becoming somewhat stifling.
Chancing a glance in her direction he saw her focus returned to the stars above, that gentle smile in place.
"It's been too long since we heard that."
"Hm?" Robin looked over his shoulder, trying to catch what he missed.
"That. Your laugh." She said as if it were obvious – Shepherds needed food, water, and Robin's laughter.
"No one notices my laugh." Robin chuckled, wanting to keep the conversation realistic.
"You underestimate your importance."
"You overestimate it."
"You're not taking care of yourself, which puts strain on the rest of the Shepherds who care about you." She responded with an accusatory note that left a slight sting.
Robin wasn't certain how to answer, the change in tone was slight but noticeable.
"To those whose concern I may have raised, I can assure them my duties remain unimpaired." He spoke slowly, feeling more like shirking a performance report with a superior officer rather than enjoying a quiet fireside conversation with a friend. It made their close proximity a little less comfortable.
Her eyes softened, closing quickly as if chastising herself.
"The concern... Isn't for your duties, Robin." She spoke carefully, choosing her words deliberately this time but still seeming frustrated with herself. "Forgive me, I'm not very good at this. But... We want to know you're well. When you aren't we worry about you."
Robin wasn't really sure who "we" comprised of, he thought he'd hid his exhaustion well. No one else brought it up.
"If I could sleep through the night, I assure you I would." Robin offered, sitting a little straighter.
Lucina wasn't the best at displaying her emotions, but he wasn't sure if the change stemmed from actual anger or just an inability to express something else. Concern? Was "we" in fact just "her?" That would make sense, she kept a close eye on everyone close to her father and with Robin's responsibility including the Exalt's safety it would stand to reason he'd merit additional attention.
"In the future we rarely had beds. Blankets were a luxury few could burden themselves with." Lucina recalled, looking into the fire. He expected to see her expression darken with memory, but her tone suggested this was just background information.
"Seasons slowed to a crawl until every day felt like winter. Every night we slept together for warmth. It became... Comforting. To know someone was always close, there with you, and you weren't alone in the world..."
Her last words hung in the air until he looked at her. She was watching him, gauging a reaction. His face began to heat.
"That's what kept my nightmares away. Maybe it can do the same for you?"
"T-that sounds really nice," Robin chuckled, opening his half of the blanket to let some cool air in, "I'll ah... Be sure to propose that when I start sharing a tent with someone."
She shook her head.
"It's about survival, Robin. Not the image of modesty." But upon seeing his flustered expression unchanged she continued, "Apologies, I know there are still many customs in the past I'm still learning. But I suppose the intimacy can seem misleading if freezing to death isn't a concern, or if waking up tomorrow is all but guaranteed."
Her face was somewhat flush now, fair skin darkening.
"Truthfully it's never been just me and one other person, either."
The mental image of her and the other children from the future all huddled together for warmth, shivering in the night, made him feel instantly guilty.
She wasn't just asking for his well-being. She herself suffered from nightly terrors. Likely since she'd come to the past, and never brought up a solution until now. It would be the equivalent of him being told to sleep on a stone floor every night for the rest of his life. Something he was unaccustomed and uncomfortable with, and expected to adhere to. On the other hand, pretending this was entirely normal and selfless would fall fairly short of the mark once the rest of camp saw the two of them exiting one tent in the morning. "It wasn't what it looked like," had a poor track record of defense in court-martials. Chrom wouldn't martial him though, would he? He still didn't know where the man stood on the matter of his daughter. Lucina was so unapproachable it hadn't been an issue before... So why was she here now, sharing his blanket and body heat?
"This has been bothering you for a while... Why me, now?"
It took her a moment to follow his thought line, realizing he knew she wasn't making the suggestion solely for his benefit.
"Because we both know what it's like, to be haunted." She answered finally, looking into his eyes. "And because... I trust you."
She looked down, cheeks flushing darker as he stared. He wasn't expecting that. He didn't think Lucina trusted anyone other than her parents, but it made his mind for him. He braved the chilly air to reach for more wood and leaned back against the log. It's not like he would get any sleep in his tent, but at least one of them might get some rest tonight.
"Well, it can be awkward for the both of us, then."
Lucina looked, hesitating as he nodded towards his shoulder.
"Frederick will be up leading cadence in a couple hours, but if it's too uncomfortable or cold we can try another night." Robin offered disarmingly, giving her a way out if she changed her mind.
To his surprise she nodded, bundling the blanket closer and moving until their sides were flush, then resting her head on his shoulder. They sat there stiffly, waiting for the awkwardness to pass. Robin could feel her head half-resting, half-hovering against him, breath too measured to be natural.
"I thought you said you've done this before."
"I have."
He cleared his throat. The moment lingered. An ember popped loudly.
"It doesn't feel like you have."
"Well a polearm might be more receptive." She quipped, lifting her head in dissatisfaction, "Could you... Pretend to be comforting until I fall asleep?"
Robin didn't realize he'd been expecting her to change the atmosphere single-handedly. That was hardly fair, if he wasn't comfortable how could she be? He nodded, taking a deep breath. Tried to build the casual presence that it was natural, nothing he hadn't done before. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat. A thought occurred and he leaned away, hesitated, and felt her stiffen as his arm came around her shoulders.
He held his breath as they watched the fire. She didn't move. That was it, the threshold was crossed, trust between them violated and any chance of–
Racing thoughts ground to a halt as her shoulders loosened. She leaned in again, tucked fully in the nook of his arm now. He could sense rather than see her eyes taking in the fire, no closer to sleep than before this started. He cleared his throat, half-wincing.
"Too much?"
"...No."
"Sorry I was just trying to–..."
"It's nice."
She curled her legs in closer and Robin felt her body relax against him for the first time. They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the ambiance of crackling fire and crickets chirping to the autumn night.
Robin closed his eyes. He couldn't tell if he dozed, slept, or lost himself in thought but after some time he muttered to her.
"I should probably send you back to your cot, when you're ready. Wouldn't want the others to wake up and get the wrong idea."
Lucina was a light sleeper, but as he gently shook his arm she simply rocked against him. She breathed softly out of her mouth, and he stopped trying to rouse her. She had a look of peace across her face he never saw when she was awake. He just assumed her brow was naturally some degree of furrowed, but seeing her sleep he guessed it was due to her always harboring some sternness or worry. He wanted her to always look this carefree and serene. Whatever she now dreamt of wasn't what sent her on night walks, and he was happy to think he provided some level of comfort for her. She did so much for all of them, it was something small he could offer in return...
No... That's what he would say if someone asked. In reality he wanted her to be happy. She never looked it. Stoic from the moment she woke up to when she disappeared at night, but right now...
She grunted and slid an arm over his chest. He glanced around before resting his head on hers. If anyone deserved to be happy after all this, she did. And he would do whatever he could to make that happen.
And if answering the hard looks and questioning stares as the others awoke before her was the start of that path, he'd face every obstacle without hesitation because she was worth it.
