They sat like that for awhile until Trixie lifted her head and wiped at the few tears that had escaped. Patsy dropped her arm as the blonde went to compose herself. By the time she came back Patsy had started a new kettle. Trixie squeezed her shoulder as she went to sit down.
Trixie had never thought that she'd ever find someone as close as she had been with Cynthia. And she had certainly never thought that it would be the red-haired nurse who barged in, but it turned out was quite reserved. But then again Trixie knew well about facades. It had taken awhile for Trixie to understand that one woman held the key to Patience Mount. As she understood the close relationship that Patsy and Delia shared she understood how they had more in common than she had thought.
Patsy turned away from the hob back to Trixie.
"All I can say, is that if he is having an affair than he's the most foolish man in Yorkshire and not worthy of you" declared Patsy.
"Enough about me. Let's talk about you" she pointed as Patsy poured a fresh cup of tea and sat down. Patsy clenched her jaw in a way that Trixie knew was resistance.
"Oh no, don't you dare think that you're getting out of this, Patience Mount. How can there be trouble in paradise on island Lesbos?" she smirked.
Patsy was not amused as she lit up a cigarette. Trixie silently insisted upon a cigarette for herself. Patsy knew not to refuse her from bumming a Sobrani from the ginger's special stash. Lighting up they both inhaled and exhaled. Trixie sighed.
"You can't get these in Yorkshire. It's been so long" she smiled.
"It's just…" she hesitated clearly choosing her words carefully. "We've been together so long, maybe she's tired of me, maybe she wants something else...If we leave here than where do I fit? I'm a good nurse. And it's harder to hide in a small community if that's what she wants" she burst out all over her friend.
"Why should you need to hide? Nobody cares anymore and it was never illegal" Trixie said defensively.
"Witch hunts are never out of fashion, Trixie. The world hasn't changed that much" Patsy said with a darkness in her eyes.
It reminded Trixie of John Amos, which hurt her heart a little. She deeply regretted how self-centered she had been at the time. In hindsight she had misinterpreted her friends reaction and cared more about social opinion. She had been disappointed in herself about it later, and turned again to drink to bring back the numbness. When she had heard the news of John Amos's suicide the penny had finally dropped in her mind. That Patsy had cared so much because her and John Amos were the same. And she had missed it.
"Mummy" she heard from the hallway.
Snapped out of her revelrie she turned toward her gorgeous daughter who was wiping her eyes.
"Yes dear. Come here" she motioned as her daughter leaped into her arms.
Trixie had always known that motherhood was her redemption. Her own mother had flown the coop being unable to deal with her father. And every time she had dealt with abysmal woman who hadn't seemed to feel a jot for their own flesh and blood she had sworn that her own daughter would know love. And care. And compassion. It was a solemn oath that had quit her drinking for good. Smoothing her daughter's sleep misshapen crown of blonde hair only solidified her choice.
"So what is it sweetie?" Trixie asked her daughter.
"When's dinner mummy? Is it different in London?" she asked unsure.
Patsy's face broke out in a grin that split her face at the scene before her.
"Dinner is whenever we wish it to be my darling" Trixie smoothed her daughter's blonde hair and laughed blissfully.
Patsy slipped an already made lasagna into the oven. Looking over the instructions she assured the small child that she could grab a piece of fruit from the refrigerator. Ellie searched until she found an apple which was deemed serviceable. Patsy then pointed out the library and TV room for her which she was free to use. The young girl scampered off excited to explore her new surroundings.
"She gets far too excited for the television these days" Trixie sighed.
"Yes, I fear it's ability to numbify the brain as well but Delia loves her murder mysteries" she explained.
"And the lasagna?" Trixie smirked.
"Deels, of course. She prepared a week of dishes before she left-she knows that I can't cook at all. Never had to" Patsy sighed as she set aside the meticulous instructions that her love had left her.
"She really does know you" Trixie smirked. Patsy only shrugged in recognition of a common fact.
Trixie paused for a moment as she worked out what she had wanted to say all afternoon.
"It's nice, being able to talk to you like this" she said finally. "I mean about you and Delia and everything. All the double talk can be so exhausting" she finished.
Patsy reached across the kitchen table and grasped Trixie's hand.
"You know that I never wanted to lie to you. It was just for your own protection Trix that I couldn't speak about it. Loose lips and all that" Patsy replied sincerely.
"I never would have said anything. I want you to know that" Trixie nodded.
"I know" Patsy said softly. "But I couldn't put you in that position. We would have all lost our jobs. We still could" she said solemnly as a prayer.
Trixie shook her head in anger at such assertions. That couldn't be true she thundered in her head. Not in 1973 she asserted within her mind.
"No Patsy. Attitudes have changed. It's no longer against the law for men. The world is much more progressive" Trixie asserted haughtily.
"Just because you say so, it doesn't mean that it's true Trixie" Patsy set her stubborn jaw.
The stalemate between the women was broken by the rather loud ding of an alarm. Both women turned their heads.
"Lasagna's ready" Patsy announced with a practiced smile.
The three women heartily ate their meal and planned the next day.
"Mummy, I want to go to the flower markets" Ellie insisted.
"Alright, then I'll add it to the list" Trixie smiled.
"And the docks, I want to see the big ships mummy" she persisted through slurps of lasagna noodles.
"Did you know that your mummy once delivered a baby on a ship?" Patsy gleefully asked. Trixie saw the mischief in Patsy's eyes as Ellie nodded that she had not heard the tale.
"Well, she had to put a chair under the mother's hips and deliver the baby without bumping her head on the ceiling. Can you imagine?" Patsy smirked.
"Is that true?" Ellie asked wide-eyed.
"Let's just say it wasn't the most ideal of situations darling" Trixie smiled.
"She's quite a hero your mummy. Don't forget it" Patsy winked as she turned toward the freezer. "So who wants Ice Cream?" she asked.
Everyone raised their hands.
Trixie put her daughter to bed. It had been an exciting day and her daughter was already ready to see all of London in the days to come. The blonde was also a bit tired but she still felt an ache in chest that needed resolving.
As Patsy and herself sat in front of a fire she felt compelled to speak.
"Patsy, I want you to know that I've never judged you. Not even when I connected the dots between you and Delia and all. It wasn't my place" her voice hitched from the emotion of such a confession. "Love without question, that's what makes the world go round right" she stated more as fact.
A silent pause sat heavily between the two women. Patsy finally nodded in recognition of the revelation.
"Thank you" she whispered.
They each looked at the fire and tried to find a way to break through the heavy mood. Finally Patsy began to giggle, which soon turned into a laugh. Trixie looked at her in mock exasperation for some explanation of such odd behavior.
"Oh god, Do you remember when you were jealous about me and Tom Hereward?" she giggled further. "As if I'd ever go for that!" she smirked.
Trixie giggled back at her old friend. It really had been ridiculous in hindsight. Like she'd ever have to compete with Patience Mount for a man.
"As far as I was concerned he was all yours-Brylcreem and all" Patsy confirmed laughingly.
They both giggled for some time over such moments in their shared past.
Trixie awoke to Patsy shaking her shoulder. After trying to unsuccessfully swat Patsy away she opened her eyes slightly.
"What is it?" she declared. Barely able to see Patsy's face, she still knew that something had gone wrong.
"It's Deels. She's been in an accident and I have to go right now" she insisted barely choking out the words.
Trixie made a quick assessment of the entire situation. Her nurses training had really never disappeared.
"Okay, Patsy we're coming with you obviously. So fill me in while I get some clothes on" Trixie insisted as she rose into her well-practiced emergency routine. It seemed that her friend needed her and just in time too.
And Trixie was always there for her friends.
A/N: To Be Continued. Of course your reviews and feedback are highly valued so feel free to review & PM me if you like. Cheers.