Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler sat upon a small chair upon the balcony of the monstrosity she had once called a house. This house had once been warm and comforting, now it was nothing but a bitter wasteland of the past that now haunted her every breath. This was one the house she had brought up her deceased Bonnie Blue in and would have borne her second child. The velvet carpets, embroidered duvets, and elaborate portraits were nothing to her now that Rhett was gone. It was all a sick mockery to her as she nursed a cup of brandy, tears trickling down her pale cheeks.
Rhett was gone…
Scarlett had to shut her once-upon-a-time sparkling green eyes to suppress the increasing amount of tears that threatened to fall. How foolish she had been for never realizing how happy she truly was! There was never a day that passed when she did not think of them. They were her everything and now… Now Rhett had left her- his love dwindling away to nothing and Bonnie was gone. She had nothing. She had no one. She was the epitome of solidarity.
Scarlett's thin, frail arms wrapped themselves around her waist in an effort to quell the sadness in her eyes and the yearning in her heart. Laying her weary head against the uncomfortable, yet incredibly expensive upholstery that belonged to the back of her dining room chairs; she clenched her eyes tighter and thought of a time when she was truly happy. Truly in love but too daft to comprehend.
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside cold outside its cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside cold inside its cold inside
It was the first year of their marriage and the lavish mansion had not yet been finished. In the meantime, Rhett had purchased a quaint home on the edge of Georgia with lush green trees in and lovely scenery surrounding. It was incredibly charming, but it was a chilly night, one in which the two newlyweds had been sitting under an abnormally large weeping willow underneath the gorgeous spring stars.
With a heart brimming with love for the stunning beauty beside him, Rhett Butler wrapped a warm blanket around Scarlett as she leaned against him with his arm gently encircling her waist. "What are you thinking about my pet?" He asked quietly so as to not disrupt the serene peacefulness that enveloped them.
Scarlett sighed and leaned in closer to him, pulling the russet coverlet tighter around her as he wrapped his arm tighter around her impeccably thin waist. "Nothing Rhett, it's just…look at the stars. They're so beautiful and…" Scarlett paused as tears began to trek down her magnolia white cheeks.
"Scarlett? Scarlett, what's the matter darling?" He turned her gently in his arms so that he could see her face clearly in the moonlight which shone down upon her striking emerald eyes and made her, if at all possible, even lovelier. When he saw her though, he was quite puzzled. She was crying, yes, but she was smiling as well, her white teeth gleaming.
"Rhett," She whispered, nestling her head into the crook in his neck and curling her feet underneath her, the rustle of emerald grass blowing gently in the wind. "Rhett, I'm happy. For once in a long, long time, I am actually happy. I felt like I could not feel anything because of the war and… but, you know how fond of you I am. I'm so happy…"
And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that your scared like me so
Let pretend were alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know were unprepared
But I don't care
Rhett caught her chin between his thumb and index finger and in one swift motion, his soft lips were upon hers as he pulled her closer. Her arms traveled up his chest to claps around his neck, answering his crushing kiss with her own passion. How could she have been so daft not to realize that she had loved him then? How could she have been so damned blind?
Her fingers began to tremble behind his neck. Breaking the kiss with much effort, he took her hands in his own, massaging them gently and kissing her forehead. He never would have expected her free spirit to accept these loving gestures so soon, but he was not argumentative. For so long he had wanted to show her how he could love and now after all these years, she was giving in. She was, in turn, loved him as well without knowing.
He glance never waver as he gazed at her amazing beauty. How had a cad who had disgraced his family managed to get a wondrous beauty the likes of Scarlett O'Hara?
Scarlett leaned forward, the coverlet forgotten in a heap beside her. Laying her left cheek upon his broad, muscular chest, she trembled in the crisp night air. Rhett reached for the blanket and wrapped it about both their shoulders, pulling her as close to him as possible.
There was a long pause in which they both staring into the startling blue horizon- minds wandering. Before long, however, Scarlett whispered, "Rhett… will you always be here for me? You're the only one that understands me and… I'm frightened. If you leave, I don't know what…"
"Hush now my dear." He whispered into her ebony hair, stroking her back with his calloused hands. "I promise I will never leave you."
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
In those few precious moments between two lovers, they were both incredibly vulnerable as they opened their hearts to one another. Their feelings poured from their souls; two different people ultimately becoming one in spirit. Their kisses were gentle as they held each other in the moonlight. These were rare times but they were so beautiful to them both.
"Rhett," Scarlett began again. Rhett smiled, he loved the way she pronounced his name. It was no like any other pronunciation, but when she whispered it under the stars it seemed exotic and lovely. "Do you feel as vulnerable as I do Rhett? You know everything about me, all my secrets, and yet you're still here."
Rhett planted a kiss in her soft hair, caressing her long locks and entwining the thick strands between his fingers. "You and I both, my pet. You and I both."
The wind whipped her hair about her face making Scarlett look like a goddess from another universe. Her pale skin contrasted deeply with her shocking emerald eyes and dark ebony hair. Two rosy, sweetheart lips adorned her face that were so tempting that Rhett had to keep himself from again pressing his lips roughly against her in an passionate wanting that enveloped his whole body at every glance.
I was born to tell you I love you
It's that a song already
I get a B in originality
And its true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
Scarlett pulled herself roughly from her reverie, her heart aching with such intensity that she had to clutch onto the arms of the chair. Tears poured from her eyes as the emptiness in her heart grew into a large gaping hole. She loved him. She loved him so much that it physically pained her. Why did she let him go? Why couldn't she have come to realize that Ashley Wilkes was just a security blanket to which she clutched on to remember her past? She took a swing of her brandy and shivered as the liquid entered her system.
Scarlett couldn't go on without Rhett, it was impossible. She needed to see his mocking smile and eyes full of merriment and love. Scarlett's hands reached up to her chest and dug her nails into her heart. She could not feel it. She could not feel anything now. Her whole world was turned upside-down. Ma, Pa, The Tarleton twins, the unborn babe, Bonnie, and now Rhett? 'Does the good God in Heaven have a personal vendetta against me?' Scarlett wondered. 'Isn't it true that God loves his children no matter what wrongs they have committed? Yes. I have sinned Father, but all of this is one lifetime?'
Eight months. Eight months, four days, and seven hours since he walked out on her. She had kept count. She had begged and pleaded for him to stay, but her words worked to no avail. The day of Melanie's death was the day her past didn't matter any longer. The past was nothing to her because Rhett was her everything; her everything that slipped through her fingers. Scarlett had no past, or none that she could recollect at that moment in time. She had forced herself to never look back, but only forward. This, however, did not help her, for she couldn't help but look into her past. Everything she had ever done: wrong.
The gossip on the grape-vine was that Rhett Butler was a current resident in a nearby hotel. A fancy thing she could only imagine. He was apparently tending to some very important business matters having to deal with some of his Confederate Assets he had acquired by being a blockade runner during the war. Something that was no care of Scarlett's all she knew what that he was near and she needed to see him once more before she forced herself to give him up once and for all. He had not been back in 8 months and this would be the first time she could speak with him. She needed this chance. Just one moment.
Quickly, and before she knew what she was doing, she was in her carriage, wringing her hands together until they became raw. Maybe it was the liquor getting to her, but she had to tell him. She had to tell him how much she adored him if she was ever going to let him go. Maybe, just maybe if she was able to reach out to him and tell him something, anything, so that her heart would quell its incredible ache for him. She doubted it.
And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
The man at the front desk was exceptionally kind considering he knew of her predicament, but who was she kidding, everyone knew of her predicament. It was common knowledge that Rhett Butler wanted a divorce from his 'vixen of a wife', as he now called her to whoever would hear. A divorce was a disgrace to both beings and she didn't think she could take it. He did not care, for as he said the day he left her, "Scarlett, I don't give a damn."
The attendant's peaceful chocolate eyes, filled with pity for the torn apart creature before him, and glanced toward the grand staircase as he informed her of the room number. 204. Oh what a blow! It pained her to hear that number for when they were Newlyweds in New Orleans he had specifically requested room 204 because it was the most grandiose in the hotel.
Scarlett stood before the large, oak-wood door, her hands trembling violently as the gathered her thoughts. 'It is Rhett. I have known him for years. I can't be frightened now. Now is not the time for nerves.' she though, grabbing the brass knocker which lay idly against the glossy wood. 'I can't be frightened now. It's too late to turn back. I must tell him.' She knocked.
Her breath caught in her chest as she heard slow, languorous steps toward the door and she momentarily considered fleeing. When he opened the door though, she was instantly mesmerized by his ink-colored eyes. For one brief moment he looked almost happy to see her but as quickly as that moment had come, it was gone and replaced by a mask anger and impatience.
He flung open the door in irritation and turned to creep back into the black-hole which was his room. The windows were closed and the blinds were shut tight. A cave-bat he had become and Scarlett was frightened by it. Rhett was never one to succumb to anything. This was not right. Where was her husband?
When Scarlett stepped into the darkened room, he refused to look at her and when he heard the door click gently behind he, he flinched unwilling to be in the same vicinity with her at this time. "What do you want Scarlett?" he hissed.
Every word. Every movement cut through her like a knife opening wounds that had not fully healed. "I…I…Rhett," She began unsure of how to begin. Everything she had rehearsed on the way up was lost into the abyss as she stood before him. She had become a lame child who was frightened of a mother's stronghold over her young and Rhett could sense it, using it to his advantage.
"I…I…what Scarlett? I haven't got all day," he spat angrily coming closer to her so she could see the fury and intolerance he had for her. Why the hell was she here? Did she want to hurt him anymore than she already had? Damn it! Couldn't she leave their shattered relationship alone and leave them with at least some tiny shred of dignity?
Let pretend were alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know were unprepared
But I don't care
Scarlett swallowed hard and looked at her raw, red hands, avoiding his furious gaze as best she could. She attempted to suppress her tears, but failed miserably. He was hurting her and he could care less. He wanted to hurt her. She would have even hurt her if she was in his shoes. "Rhett… I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't make up for what I've done, but… I'm so, so sorry."
She had to advert her eyes from his own and failed to see his face smooth out and sadness creep into his eyes. He too had to look away. "But Rhett, it's not all my fault. I know I contributed to much of our downfall, but you played your part too. We were both pawns in the game of love and hate, don't you see? Hurt isn't inflicted upon one individual. You hurt me and in return I wanted only retaliation. I was a child though, you knew that. But the worst was that you never came to me with our problems, or yours for that matter, it was always to Belle Watling. Rhett… I wanted you to come to me so badly, but you never did and that is what pushed me farther away.
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
"In a matter of speaking Rhett, you brainwashed me. You told me you didn't care about reputations. You once told me you could do without them if you had enough courage and backbone. You knew I had both but I was too young to comprehend the consequences of my actions Sixteen Rhett! I was sixteen! Was it all just a ploy to make yourself look better? Was it to make your mother happy because she knew there was another being who was on the wrong track as well?"
Anger filled her voice with the new realization. "You created my downfall, Rhett. I don't know how it began, maybe the first time we met, but you did. You would run away from your problems- from me! Whenever something went slightly wrong, you were gone to 'find yourself'. To England or Rome, but what about your wife in the next room? Did she not account for anything? Rhett, you apparently had no backbone. Were you living through me?
"Good God, what did you want from me Rhett? One moment you told me that reputations were brainless excuses for social classes to entertain themselves with and the next it's my entire fault that Bonnie was shunned from high society. Was it really my fault Rhett, or did you want this is happen? Did you want us to fail?"
She stood before him panting angrily while the tables turned and tears poured down her face. Realization hit Rhett harder than he would have expected. Her bitter words stung down to his core for he knew she was right. He was just as responsible for their shattered relationship as she was. He blinked as his heart, which had only resumed beating when she entered the door a few moments prior, broke. What had he done?
"Rhett, say something!" She yelled, pleading as she grabbed his arm which was suspended in mid air which was initially going to grab a pile of papers which was misconstrued all over the table-top and floor. "Rhett please." She whispered calming as tears began to pour from her eyes; she wasn't getting through.
Scarlett's hand fell limply to her side as the slow tears rapidly became quicker, her heart breaking in turn. "I wasn't expecting you to understand Rhett. I don't know, I just though… I don't know what I thought, but let me just say that even though you hurt me Rhett, I have never stopped loving you. You may think I had never started, but I always have. I never realized it, but I did. I loved you and I never stopped."
She turned to leave, reaching her hand up to wipe her tears upon her sleeve. She could no longer stand here watching the one man she loved just stare at her while she became vulnerable before his eyes. "Goodbye, Rhett."
Slow down girl you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need
Scarlett managed to take a step frontward before Rhett grabbed her upper arm and turned her so that she was facing him once more. The pull was unintentionally hard and her head whipped around so fast that her shimmering ebony hair smacked her in the fac.
Before each other, their defenses slowly crumbled as their vulnerability peaked and they could only speak with their nostalgic eyes. No words were uttered. The two stood before each other, their eyes explaining everything. Scarlett's emerald orbs held so much misery and pain that they were difficult to witness and yet Rhett stared back, his ink colored eyes apologetic and so full of sadness and love that it was overpowering.
In one swift movement, Rhett pulled her into him with one arm securing Scarlett's body tightly to him while the other hand cupped her face, his lips crushing her own in a frenzied passion. Scarlett's arms were pinned between their heated bodies, clutching onto his jacket as she answered his yearning kisses with as much desire, if not more than Rhett's.
Rhett's lips traveled from her swollen lips to her jaw caressing her skin with his touch. She clung to him; ecstasy coursing through her veins as she threw her head backwards a small moan erupted from her parted lips. Against her neck, she felt his tears against his face as he whispered softly, "My darling, I'm sorry."
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
They thought the other incapable of susceptibility and yet, as they held each other, their kisses becoming more and more demanding and their invincibility weaned down to nothingness. They were vulnerable. They were beautiful. In those few passionate moments, their hopes, fears, and sadness came together to form one being. A being that encompassed both creatures molding and shaping them into one central body. Their hearts beat together as one and they clung to each other as if they were the last two people on Earth. And as far as they were concerned, maybe they were.
There were no sounds that save for the breath of two lovers in the moonlit filled night and they loved unconditionally. Rhett held this striking beauty in his arms and her knees became weak. She began to tremble. Deep within themselves, they knew they could never live without each other. It was impossible. They had shared too much. The pain, suffering, sadness, and even happiness. They had become one long before the reunion of lovers in hotel room 204 in Atlanta, Georgia that fateful night. What they felt was bigger than them- bigger than anyone. Love.
Love is an all-powerful emotion that shakes you from your very core. It is frightening and so lovely at the same time. Love had made Scarlett and Rhett Butler vulnerable that night and would for the rest of their lives. Their love was an unconditional love. A love that could never wither no matter how much time has passed. Their love was beautifully and amazingly true. This vulnerability- this love, is what made them stronger and through their vulnerability, they became invincible as one.
Impossible.