Chapter 2: What The Shaman!?

Author's Note: Thank you DF14-BLACK SNOW for the review, along with faving this story, faving author and reviewing my other fic! Now, onto the story!

Bailong charged, with his fist high and proud.

"Oh shit! I'm not ready yet!" Yoh screamed.

"Hey mon, it kind-a remin' m' of somethin' y' know" Bailong stated with the Jamaican Accent.

Bailong stopped magically in mid air, then got a spray can and sprayed his mouth, then got out a magically appeared mirror and did his hair.

"What the Shaman, Bailong!? THIS IS NO TIME FOR DOING THE LATEST FASHION!!" Jun shouted demandingly.

"By th' way maste', is this th' bes' Jiang-Si clothes y' got?" Bailong said, still magically frozen in mid air.

"Ah, ya, but what the shit is your point?" Jun asked with her arms crossed.

"Um, hello? Fashion disaster! Seriously, w' movie stars need good clothes" Bailong protested.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!! JUST KILL YOH!!!" Jun demanded angrily.

"Oh, fine, but y' are horrible in bein' dramatic" Bailong groaned.

"AAAAAAAAGHHH!!! SHUT UP!!!" Jun screamed.

"Um, can we get on with this? My program will be on soon" Yoh asked.

"Oh, right, just do your thing Bailong" Jun demanded.

"ALLZ RIGHT!!!" Bailong said as he changed his Accent to French.

Bailong now charged at Yoh, and Yoh didn't notice as he was reading 'How To Kill Jiang-Si For Dummies' then noticed Bailong charging at him.

"HOLLY SHAMAN KING!!!" Yoh screamed as Bailong started bashing him.

Anna turned to Jun, and then Jun turned to Anna who stomped to her, then stopped and glared at her. Jun gulped at Anna's scary eyes. Anna got out some yens.

"I bet that Yoh will die for 1000 yen" Anna declared.

Jun sighed in relief. "DON'T SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME!! Ok then, I'll bet he'll die by my orders for 2300 yen!" Jun haggled.

"ANNA!!" Manta screamed.

"Get lost Manta, and make sure that I win the bet, 'cause I need to get back to the most hilarious show, Super Smash Bros Gamer!" Anna shouted, as she focused on playing Poker with Jun.

"I love Super Smash Bros Gamer…" Jun trailed off. "You lucky Shaman…" She muttered as she played poker.

Nobody seem to care that Yoh was getting a lot of bruises on him, that Yoh screamed.

"SOMEBODY GET ME A SWORD FOR SHAMAN SAKES!!!!" Yoh screamed on the top of his lungs.

"AAAGHHHH!! I MUST SAVE MY LOVED ONE!!!" Manta declared and ran.

"Manta?" Yoh said as he saw Manta run. "Traitor!" Yoh screamed.

Jun turns her head to see Manta ran. "Hey, the kids actually smarter then I thought!" Jun said, and then Anna laid the last card and won.

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Anna screamed happily, then got 100 yen, then turned to see Manta ran. "Oh, since when does the shrimp run?"

"O_o" Yoh speechless.

Manta was running like a posh English girl, and looked around for a sword.

"Oh crap, all shops are closed and I can't steal Harusame!" Manta pauses as he sees a McDonald shop. "YAAA, FOOD!!!" Manta screamed and ran.

As Manta ran to get the Kids Club Meal, until his face smashed into a sword.

"Hey, a random sword out of no where!" Manta screamed happily.

"What the crap are you doing on my sword!?" Someone demanded.

Manta turned his head to see Ryu and his gang that magically appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh shit, um, hi Ryu, ah, how did you magically appeared?" Manta asked in fright.

Ryu looked around shiftily. "I dunno, but what are you doing on my sword!?" Ryu demanded.

"Um, can I borrow it?" Manta asked.

"Oh, of course," Ryu said and handed the sword.

Manta stared blankly. "Really, are you sure?" Manta asked.

"Sure, why not?" Ryu shrugged.

As Manta tried to touch the sword, Ryu got out a pistol, and aimed it at Manta, and Ryu's gang got bats. Manta noticed and stared in shock.

"HOLLY SHIT AND CRAP!!!!!!!!" Manta screamed as Ryu fired, as he ran.

"Batter up!" Muscle Punch said with a Titanium Bat.

"OH CRAP!!!" Manta screamed, then he was hit sky high, and then got shot on the shoulder, and he collapsed.

"NNNNNNNHHHHAAA!!!" Ryu laughed and gave the loser sign.

After that Ryu's gang started smashing bats at Manta like a lot, then Manta was stone cold, then they left. Suddenly, with determination, Manta got up.

"Hey Ryu ya loser!" Manta screamed.

Ryu and his friends turned to the Zombie Manta, in shock.

"The Pussy Cat Dolls are in town and you may run out of tickets!" Manta screamed.

"NOOOOOOO, I LOVE THE PUSSY CAT DOLLS!!!" Ryu screamed.

Manta got out a ticket of the Pussy Cat Dolls world tour. "Ya want it? Then swap that sword for it!" Manta demanded.

"OKIE-DOKIE!!" Ryu declared, chucked the sword, then snatched the Pussy Cat Doll card and ran away.

Manta started happily in shock. "Hey, that fake card worked!" Manta cheered and ran.

Yoh was laying half dead on the wall thinking of that he couldn't buy a new recorder.

"Look at you Yoh, weak" Jun said harshly with her arms crossed.

"Yoh you better win or I'LL LOSE THE CRAP BET!!!" Anna moped.

"Now, hand over Amidamaru" Jun demanded.

"N-no, he's my friend" Yoh said weakly.

"Friend? Ha, what a weak samurai he must be if he sticks by you!" Anna screamed.

"Lord Yoh, you touched my heart" Amidamaru sniffed.

"I don't give a dam Amidamaru, I'M DIEING FOR SHAMAN SAKES!!!" Yoh screamed.

"Might as well kill you and take you friend" Jun smiled.

"Never," Someone said as he magically appeared in front of Yoh. "Friendship is going to kick the shit out of you" manta replied.

"OMG, how the heck did you magically appeared!?" Jun demanded, and then saw a sword. "ZOMG, you even gotten a wooden sword!"

"Hey, I never thought you could do it shrimp" Anna stated.

"What does that mean!?" Manta demanded.

"Um, well I thought you were weak" Anna explained.

Manta gasped. "Why you- anyway I gave a fake card of the Pussy Cat Dolls tour, and he gave me this sword!" Manta shouted happily.

"O_o, all this is getting awkward and weird" Jun stated.

"I know," Manta nodded then turned to Yoh. "Yoh, kick that monster chick's butt" Manta said as he collapsed.

Yoh took the sword in hand and put Manta on a crate, and Anna screamed happily, only because she didn't lose the bet.

"Amidamaru, what do you think?" Yoh smiled as he got up.

Amidamaru appeared beside Yoh. "I will repay Manta's help" Amidamaru smiled too.

Jun heard a sniff then turned to Bailong in shock.

"WHY THE CRAP ARE YOU CRYING!? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON!?" Jun demanded angrily.

"Well, aloe, it is ze saddest sight I had seez" Bailong sniffed as he wiped a tear away.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAM!!" Jun screamed.

"And it's dramatic" Anna added.

"OH SHUT UP, WHY CAN'T I BE DRAMATIC FOR ONCE!?" Jun screamed angrily.

"Let's do it Amidamaru!" Yoh declared as he jumped into the air and the Power Ranger Theme music plays. "SHOCK WAVE BUDA GIRRI!!!" Yoh shouted.

A shock wave came from the sword traveling so fast, faster then any plane, then his Bailong on the fore-head in slow motion.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!" Jun shouted in slow motion.

Suddenly, the jufu was slashed along with the tea-pot hat, and then Baliong's face was reviled.

"ZOMG! Bailong is back!" Manta stated.

"Horary for you and the fans" Anna added, sarcastically.

"What the heck am I doing here?" Bailong demanded.

"Finally, Bailong speaks no more accents" Yoh sighed happily.

"Bailong?" Bailong looked in a glass window. "Right, I'm Bailong, BUT WHAT THE SHIT DOES IT MEAN MY 20TH ANIVERSITY!?!" He demanded as he punched the window.

"Oh shit! Now I get seven years bad luck!" Jun groaned.

"Why don't I ze feel the pain?" He demanded.

"Oh for the love of crap, stop speaking random Accents and listen to your Dao-Shi!" Jun shouted.

"Dao-Shi!?" Bailong commented.

"Yes, I'm your corpse puppet- I mean YOU'RE MY corpse puppet, so do as I say, ya fat Jiang-Si!" Jun demanded irritated.

"Jiang-Si! Jun the Dao-Shi!?" Bailong shouted.

-Flash Backs-

"AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!! GODZILA!!!!"

-Present-

"Opps, wrong flash back…" Bailong muttered.

-Flash Back, Again-

"Sorry Bailong, but you have to die!" Someone said harshly.

"WHY ME!?" Bailong asked.

"I dunno, 'cause Hiroyuki Takei made me do so" The figure shrugged then shot him in the chest.

"OMG!! I WAS KILLED!!!" Bailong screamed.

"Well duh! Now do as I say!" Jun shouts then throws a jufu.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to throw the jufu, BEFORE you told him that he was your corpse puppet?" Yoh asked.

"Um, nobody told me too" Jun admitted awkwardly. "And how would you know?" Jun asks.

Yoh throws a scrunched up paper at Jun, who reads it and it's the script.

"Oh, because of the script" Jun reads then throws it away.

Suddenly, Bailong catches the jufu.

"OMG, he caught the slip!" Manta stated.

"Crap, I so hate the special affects in these movies!" Jun groaned then got another one. "This one will-!" Jun pauses.

Bailong smashes his fist at her, but she ducks.

"OMG I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A SEXIEST!!!" Jun screamed in shock.

"You're a Tao, so I kill you!!" Bailong screams as he gets the nunchaku out to smash Jun.

'Crap! I can't get the talisman on his head, I'm doomed, and by a sexiest! A sexiest for crying out loud!' Jun thought.

"RRAAAA!!!" Bailong screamed as he was close to hurting Jun with his nunchaku.

"OMG, get out of there ya chick!" Manta screamed.

Jun stared in shock, and then Yoh blocked the nunchaku with his wooden sword, or Ryu's wooden sword or what ever you may say.

"Why? Why do you save that witch?" Bailong demanded.

Jun groaned. "Oh, I was being in a dramatic scene for once, but why? Why did you save me when I tried to kill you!?" Jun demanded.

"Well, a chick must not die, and everyone who sees spirits must have good hearts! I think…" Yoh explained in stress of blocking the move.

"Um, ok, this is really touching" Jun muttered awkwardly.

"So, do you like revenge? Is it fun?" Yoh asked.

"Yes! For her family killed me!" Bailong screamed.

"Um, ok, so yes they DID kill you, but, isn't that in the past? Like they say 'Scouts live life' right?" Yoh replied awkwardly.

"What the shaman does this involve me!?" Bailong asked.

"I dunno!" Yoh screamed.

Then, Bailong broke the wooden sword and slapped the nunchaku at his cheek.

"Ow, mummy he smashed my cheek! Now I have to go to the dentist!" Yoh mopped.

"O_o, this is really weird this fight" Anna stated.

"Jun, what the heck should I do!?" Yoh asked as he was doing crap kung-fu moves.

Jun's back was at a wall, and she slipped and sat by it. "It's hopeless" Jun said harshly and sadly.

"If you are trying to be dramatic THEN DON'T BE!!!" Yoh screamed as he was being beaten up badly.

"I'm not trying to, but, I can't…" Jun replied sadly.

"Then there's one thing left to do," Yoh paused and picked up a piece of broken wood and charged at Bailong. "YYAAAA!!!" Yoh screamed madly.

"Crap! A weirdo, I best to kill him" Bailong said and charged.

Suddenly Anna slapped Jun across the face hard.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!?" Jun demanded.

"Oh shut up vomit-color-hair-girl, your making Yoh embarrassed, so, tell me who Bailong's master was" Anna demanded, as she grasped Jun's shirt on the collar.

"Um, you are starting to freak me out, and yes he did have a master but he's dead! D-E-D! DED!!!" Jun stated.

"That doesn't how you spell dead!" Manta shouted.

"How would you know?" Anna asked curiously.

"Um, I dunno- Wait I know his master! He's name was Sha-Wen! He's awesome!!" Manta screamed happily.

"Then let's summon him then!" Yoh shouted.

"…. Summon?" Jun asked in confusion. "Wait, Anna are you-!" Jun realized.

"Yup, I can even summon people from Heaven! So let's give it ago!" Anna declared as she shoved Jun back at the wall.

"OWW! I HAVE BACK-PAIN YOU KNOW!!!" Jun screamed.

Anna started to mutter chants as she got out her necklace then screamed at Yoh. "DISINTERGRATE WITH AMIDAMARU, NOW!!!" Anna demanded.

Yoh did so then Anna leaped into the air, by slipping on something then hit the necklace at Yoh's head, hard.

"INTERGRATE WITH SHA-WEN" Anna screamed. "LET'S KICK SOME MOVIE STAR BUTT!!!" Anna screamed happily.

"Er, eh, what did you say?" Yoh asked, since he was integrated with Sha-Wen.

"O_o" Anna speechless.

"O_o" Jun speechless.

"O_o" Manta speechless.

"O_o," Amidamaru also speechless. "WHAT THE SHAMAN!?! AN OLD MAN!!!" Amidamaru screamed.

"Um…" Anna too speechless for words.

"Do you have the right guy!?" Manta asked.

"Um, yes, apparently Sha-Wen died at 96, so it seems that it's useless" Jun admitted.

"Oh crap! I should have summoned Jackie-Chan next time…" Anna muttered.

Bailong punched Yoh, but he dodged.

"He missed!? And to an old man!?" Jun wondered.

"RAAAAAA!!!" Bailong screamed as he kicked.

Suddenly, Yoh jumped and landed on Bailong's leg that was stuck in the brick wall.

"Oh, Bailong, is that you? Well, I haven't seen you since you lost to Paris Hilton in a fight!" Yoh said happily.

"O_o, have I missed something?" Manta asked in shock.

"Yes, and Bailong lost to drama-queen Paris Hilton? Hm, good thing I record it" Anna smirked as she got out a random VCR camera.

Bailong punched, but Yoh dodged.

"For the love of shaman Bailong, you must abandon your ego, to rest in peace!" Yoh screamed and kept hitting Bailong with a frying pan.

Bailong ignored the frying pan, making himself embarrassed, and kept attacking, but Yoh dodged.

"You must abandon your ego, and hurry it up, or else I'll miss Funniest Home Shaman Videos!" Yoh demanded.

Bailong attacked again and hit Yoh on the face. "OW YA BEACH!!!" Yoh shouted.

"RAAAAAA!!!" Bailong screamed.

"Poor you, I know you have a dream, but, you are dead a you must abandon it" Yoh screamed.

"Bailong's dream?" Jun muttered in shock.

Suddenly, a tank came out of nowhere and a guy popped up with a bazooka in hand.

"Oh, am I in America?" The guy asked in a German Accent.

"ON NOES, THE NAZIS!!!" Amidamaru panicked.

Yoh got out the Red Machine Gun that Jun used before, shot the guy, and then stole his bazooka.

"RAAAAA!!!" Bailong charged.

Yoh pointed the bazooka at Bailong, who stopped and stared in shock. Yoh fired the bazooka.

"HOLLY SHIT AND CRAP!!!" Bailong screamed like a girl.

"HIT THE DECK!!!" Anna declared as she, Manta, Amidamaru (?) and Jun took cover.

Bailong got shot and was stone cold on the ground.

"Ha-ha! It's over, Bailong, so say it!" Yoh laughed.

"OMG! BAILONG!!" Jun panicked and then went to him.

Manta ran and jumped in the way. "No! He may kill you!" Manta shouted.

"Oh, ya, he's a sexiest…" Jun muttered.

Sha-Wen went out of Yoh's body, and he lay to the ground.

"ZOMG, YOH!! Ok, go and charge at him!" Manta screamed as he went to Yoh along with Amidamaru.

"O_o" Jun speechless.

No one seem to notice that Bailong got out of the Jiang-Si and noticed his master.

"Master? When did you get here?" He asked.

"For the love of shaman, you embarrassed your self, again ya beach!" Sha-Wen groaned. "But, it's good to see you again Bailong"

"Master," Bailong paused. "I'M SORRY! FOR GETTING YOU INTO DANGER!!" Bailong bowed.

"And for being a sexiest" Jun shouted.

"AND FOR BEING A SEXIEST!! Oh and thank you" Bailong thanked.

"Don't thank me, thank the boy over there" Sha-Wen pointed.

"….. Butter-Scotch….." Yoh mumbled.

"I see" Bailong said.

Jun started to walk away, and then Anna turned to her. "Where are ya going vomit-color-hair girl?" Anna asked.

Jun stopped. "I never understand Bailong's feeling, but until know, in a very weird and awkward way," She paused and turned to Anna with a smile. "That boy, Yoh Asukura, is weird, but strong"

"….. You suck at being dramatic, and you sound happy…." Anna snorted harshly.

"WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAA!!! WHEN WILL I EVER BE DRAMATIC!?!" Jun moped then walked away.

"…. Master, I don't want to abandon my ego" Bailong declared.

"WHAT THE SHAMAN!? ARE YOU GOING TO POSSES THAT BODY!?" Sha-Wen asked.

"Why are you so opposes with him?" Sha-Wen asked in a singing tune.

"No, not to posses him, but, I will become an immortal Jiang-Si," He paused then looked at Jun. "Jun Tao, will you retain me as your Jiang-Si?" Bailong asked kindly.

"B-Bailong?" Jun asked in shock as she turned to him.

"No more talismans, just you, and me…" Bailong finished.

"Don't you dare be a sexiest," She paused as he notice him staring at her legs. "AND QUIT BEING A PERVERT!" Jun declared.

"Of course, but you are pretty cute" Bailong stated.

"Um, this is getting out of order" Jun blushes.

Suddenly Twilight Okami comes in the scene. "Anna, come on, my show, Super Smash Bros Gamer is on!" Twilight Okami demanded.

"OH YA!! MORE VIOLENCE!!!" Anna screamed happily as she went after Twilight Okami. "You two go and have an affair later on" Anna called to Jun.

"AN AFFAIR!?" She asked in shock.

"Um, I have no idea who that weirdo is-" Bailong got interrupted when Anna threw a rock at his head.

"I HEARD THAT!!" Anna called from the distance.

"But, let's get going" Bailong declared as he lifted Jun bridal style.

"Um," Jun blushed darker. "This is awkward…" She said.

And so, Bailong and Jun left, developing a friendship, and Yoh smiled as he magically gained consciousness.

Author's Note: Phew, what a long double-shot, and hope ya all enjoy it! If you like huge laughs, parodies of shows like So You Think You Can Dance, Master Chief, Idol, Truth and Dare then read my Super Smash Bros fic called 'Super Smash Bros Gamer' iit has positive reviews! Bye!