Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez; I do however own Reb and Jack... who will onle make one last appearance in a future chapter... OF DOOM!
Chapter two:
Flashback starts:
"Irkens and Meekrobs in PEACE?" A Vortian asked in utter disbelief "What THE HELL have you been smoking?"
"Nothing you fool!" A cloaked Irken snarled exaperately "Look, I know how fuck up this sounds but right now need all the help I can get so I can prevent the current Tallest from signing those documents with the Meekrob Emperor!"
"And WHY should I help an Irken scum like you?"
"I was expecting that question" the Irken said with a dark smile, the other alien just frowned in confusion "Do you know the legend of The Three Tallest?"
The Vortian raised an invisible eyebrow. "You're not telling me that your demented leader actually believes the damn legend is true and plans to do what I think you're trying to tell me?"
The cloaked alien nodded grimly and scowled darkly at the words "your leader"
His "friend" laugh insanely as if he didn't believe him and the laugher went on for a few minutes and got a few tears out of his beaty little eyes, once he managed to calm down he saw the serious face his ally was giving him.
"You aren't joking" It wasn't a question, it was a fact.
"Ask yourself this, if I WERE joking would I be hiding from my own people?"
The Vortian nods "Got a point there"
"So are you gonna help me or not?"
The goat like being crossed his eyes "What's in it for me?"
The taller alien gaped "What's... what's in it for you? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" THE UNIVERSE IS IN DANGER AND YOU JUST CARE FOR WHAT YOU WANT?"
"Listen, it was bad enough my planet was conquered and enslaved by that loser Larb" The alien growled " And the fact that he forced my people to build weaponry to make your Empire unbeatable just add insult to injury"
"Maybe we should have looked further into Miyuki's death rather than just place the blame on your race" The Irken said meekly.
The Vortian glared daggers at him and responded sarcastically "you think?"
"Getting off topic here"
" Oh right" The shorter male said calmly but then started screaming again "NOW you are implying that... that bitch wants to get those ... THINGS so that all hell will break lose for everyone. so it's safe to say I'm risking not only my life here but the life of my people so you bet your sorry ass that I WANT something out of all of this"
"And if I refuse?"
"Then you can get someone else to help you and since most of the universe hates you, that sure isn´t going to happen so bottom line is...I'm your only hope." He finished smugly.
The Vortian was known as prisoner 777 and he was twitching his left eye uncontrollably as he stared at the transmission from Irk that went into static every few seconds, the strange red eyed Irken is what some of his race would have called a Raro, meaning he wasn't a defective or sane Irken, he was something in between the two, and because he isn't TOTALLY insane he's allowed to have his PAK, but that didn't meant that his peculiar behavior was something to be proud of, in fact most of the Raros were ashamed and tried to have their PAKS "fixed" and sometimes those Irkens had their memory chips fried if the procedure was a complete failure.
The Irken sighs in defeat "What exactly do you want from me?"
777 Smirked triumphantly "A promise"
"That's all?"
"Yes, I want my people's freedom... I also want YOU to promise me that when all of this is over you won't send anyone after me"
"You seem to think I'm gonna keep my word"
"I know your not going to which is why this whole conversation is being recorded, you bail on our agreement and the ENTIRE Empire will know just how desperate you were to get what you want and if memory serves me right Irkens aren't weak"
"You realize that you've just persuading me to kill you, right?"
777 chuckled cruelly "Maybe but enough, do we have a deal?"
"If you EVER tell anyone..."
"If you honor our agreement then my lips are sealed"
"Vort will be free" The Irken nodded grudgingly.
"Then we have no time to waste so tell me... watcha want then?".
"Something to get me out of the planet" The green alien hissed "And by something I mean a SHIP!"
"Why don't you just steal one?'
"Don't you think I tried that?" the Irken Raro growled "every time I tried to steal one I get caught, there are cameras in every place of the planet, guards in every corner so you can see how well those attemps ended"
"Umm" 777 rubbed his chin "I'll see what I can do"
And with that the transmission ended.
The Irken stared at his reflection on the screen and left the communicator booth he was using, this Irken was a Con Artist and at very good one since he could trick people into his mind games but sadly he wasn't strong enough, this alien was somewhat tall, the shadow of his cloak cowered the upper part of his face, he had a sickly purple scar under his right eye his clothes covered most of his body, the only thing that wasn't covered were his hands and his PAK which of course made a few beeping sounds every now and then so that others knew of his place in society, that beeping to some meant a little piece of individuality which the Irken Empire mostly lacked while to others it meant that he wasn't a "perfect" Irken.
"You better help me out" The Irken whose name was "Der" thought desperately.
"And so he DID help me out" Der snickered sheepishly remembering his conversation with the annoying goat.
He was piloing the out of dated Vortian runner; he was surprised that 777 got him this vessel since he thought that all of the Vort ships were destroyed.
"Ok, first things first I need more allies since I can't possibly win this fight alone but who would be stupid and incredibly suicidal enough to help me out?" Der thought to himself.
"Proximity warning: Planet ahead" the computer said with a bored voice and the Irken stared at the screen.
"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me! That's the last time I fly with no real destination at hand!"
Zim's POV:
"I can't believe it, after ten Earth years I meet little Gaz once again,... well she isn't little anymore that's for sure, she is taller and... sexier as humans put it but despite the obvious physical changes, she hasn't changed much in personality she still keep her gothic appearance, she now painted her nails black, she had black lipstick on her lips, she was now wearing some skull earrings, her hair was now longer but she keep the same style except for the fact that now it was blue (yes she dyed her hair blue) she was wearing a dark blue shirt and a black trench coat, she was even wearing a skirt … a navy blue skirt as a matter of fact, she even wore black combat boots with a smiley face at the top of them, but the only thing that seem to keep with her at all times is the skull necklace thingy she wore since I met her back in elementary skool."
I smiled wickedly at the sight of the female stink beast.
"It also got me thinking, Gaz was probably the only human on Earth that hated her own race, she's really one of a kind… I remembered asking myself of just how could a someone hate his own race, it was unheard of on my planet, hates others yes but hating you own race... ridiculous!"
But she proved me wrong.
"I could never see things from her point of view back then but now I do… I'm an Irken and the only one of my kind that hates my own race and vice versa, my smiled turned into a frown, because in a weird way Gaz and I aren't at all different not just because we are outcast but the fact that both of us are full of anger towards the worlds we grew up in, maybe it was misplaced hatred but it was hatred nevertheless…"
"Oh crap" The womancursed.
"What's the matter Gaz… human?
"I'm almost out of Gasoline", she informes me; and if her tone meant anything I'm sure she didn't like the fact that I didn't address her with the respect she believed she deserved.
"So"? We're going to have to make a pit stop at the next gas station."
"That is IF we find one before the car decides to die"
"Ha, inferior Earth vehicle" I hollowed.
Gaz smirked for some reason.
After 10 minutes of searching we found a measely gas station and parked the car without any trouble.
I got out of the vehicle and told Gaz I was getting some snacks, she nodded.
I walked to the convenience store and entered, and as much as I hate to admit it some of the Earth junk food tastes similar to the snackings I had to serve and steal on Foodcourtia, that damn Sizz-Lorr didn't allow me to eat, hell even my break was not an hour like Gashloog's, it was only five minutes and I had to work the cash register, so in other words I was treated like a slave, it was something THE AMAZING ZIM shouldn't have gone through! in shortthe food court planet could be my own personal slice of hell.
What was worse even on Earth I was told the only job I was capable of was in fast food services as if I wasn't scarred enough already but I refused to do that! I was not going to waste my life doing a minimun wage job, I am ZIM and I wasn't going to let my past haunt me! I took the career test seventeen times... SEVENTEEN TIMES! And each time I was told the same result.
"Fast Food Drone"
Eventually I had to do something drastic, I bribed several people to let me take the exam one last time and that time I finally got what I wanted.
"The Army"
I must admit that it was not what I expected, the army was easy, what they had to offer me was laughable HA! but it was still far better than cooking for the rest of my existance... I still had my pride after all.
Dismissing the horrible memories I got some doughnuts, nachos and when I saw that they were selling taquitos, my eyes began to watered because those snacks always remind me of Gir… oh how I miss that little stupid robot; I still remember his "death".
MiniMoose, Gir and myself went to Italy for a mission, apparently I was gonna meet a gangster who went by the name of Vito and he was selling guns, drugs and many other kind of illegal things to foreign countries… he didn't seem to care who got hurt as long as he always got his way, kinda like when when I was blinded by the Tallest lies... but now?... meh I still hurt others but this time for different reasons.
Where was I? Oh yes...the problem was that there wasn't any actual proof of his illegal businesses.. so I killed Mitch some guy who was Vito's right hand man, if I could get evidence then I could arrest the bastard and after so much time had passed some incriminating evidence was revealed, YAY FOR ME! Err I called my boss and had all the mobsters arrested thought they didn't give up without a fight, those damn criminals killed more people than I care to remember, the sad part? Gir was with me at the time, but before the gangsters were dragged to the car, Vito swearing revenge got out a gun and was ready to shoot me, everything was in slow motion for me, it appeared I was doomed but Gir… my faithful S.I.R (disguised as a dog) jumped in the air and took the bullet for me, he was "murdered", I grabbed him as tears ran down my cheeks, that was the first time I cried in years, I was so pissed off that I took a gun out of my PAK, it was one of the many guns that those two Plookesian guys gave years ago, I was about to pull the trigger and shoot him between the eyes, imaginating his blood and brains being spilled everywhere.
It was a pleasant image.
But the bastard got lucky he managed to escape, how? I don't knoe, all I know is that after he tried to kill me, he dissapeared, probably knowing my attachment to my robot was the perfect distraction, he shot my most trusted companion just so that he could walk the strets a free man... he is a coward, but campuring him was the least of my worries at that moment, I remember taking Gir back home and tried to repair him but I failed horribly because he was shot in the chest, the very part of his body where his power core was stored in and since the humans don't have the technology to make a S.I.R Unit's power core it was impossible for Gir to ever function again.
I still have his lifeless metal body at my house, as years went by I tried to think of a way to repair him, then it hit me, Skoodge, he still had access to my base but due to my work I was never able to contact him, even MiniMoose offered to give Gir his power core but it was a different model so it wouldn't work, I was really frustrated and took it all out on my job.
Several burned bodies came to Zim's deranged mind.
"As it turned out my frustration was confused by anger and well, the boss told me that I was working too hard and gave some time off, I wasn't a bit happy because I spend years looking for Vito, I wanted to kill him on the spot once I found him but he was a very smart human and with limited Earth technology no less! it was a very frustrating job to find the bastard, it wasn't until a few months later I found out why he had been able to elude me so easily, it was so obvious I kicked myself for not seeing it sooner, Vito was smarter than any human, he knew things no other inferior stink beasts could possibly know and I swore that if I ever got the opportunity I would show him my respects before chopping his head off… right the hell off!"
Zim rubs his head; he never got over the infuriating fact that his adversary couldn't possibly be a human being, it seemed that no matter what just about any race could best him in just about anything, and THAT destroyed his ego in more than one way.
anyway going back to the subject at hand.
Once I started my vacation I came to the very city where I landed all those years ago, my first thought was to look for Skoodge but when I went to my old base, it was NOT THERE, so either he was found out by the humans or something very horrible happened to him, I asked the people of my old neighborhood what happened to the odd green house and they told me made me laugh, "what green house?"
It was very typical of the human race, either they didn't want to pay attention for what was surely around them or the more likely reason was that they were complete morons… I rather go with option number two, heh. Stupid monkeys.
The clerk look at the alien oddly "Why do I always get the weird ones?" She thought in irritation.
"And of course since the only other of my kind went who knows where I decided to ask help from…."
"Sir?" the female snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"That will be 14.95"
I nodded and paid the human female and exited the store with my doughnuts and nachos.
"Have a nice night" the clerk said not really caring.
"Kinda hard to have a nice night when I'm stuck on a planet surrounded by hu..."
I stopped just before I finished my sentence once I was outside because I saw Gaz talking to someone.
It was a man who seemed to be twice the age of the Dib-sister and he seemed sort of familiar.
I was very curious about what they were talking about that I used a tiny listening device out of my Pak and it flied to the two humans, it was a tiny metal spying tool I received from a friend, it was so inferior to Irken technology but it's the best thing this planet has to offer so there's no use arguing with myself on the subject.
Some headphones came out of my Pak and hid behind some garbage cans, ugh not my best hiding place but it will do nicely... for now.
I knew from my experience, that the most atrocious of things could be committed in the dark, and I was sure, that I would commit an atrocity or two if another one of my friends were harmed.., wait did I just called Gaz my friend?… she's not my friend or is she?
"Damn it! I've been on this damn planet too long!"
I listened to the conversation.
"So... You're a friend of Zim?" the human MALE asked.
"You might say that" Gaz growled "I met him a long time ago"
"Are you his ex-girlfriend?"
I blushed at the thought and I could have swore Gaz did too but then again my optical eyes could be malfunctioning.
"Not really just an old acquaintance"
"By any chance you know who he works for?" The guy asked.
Gaz gave him a face of irritation, oh I know how this is gonna end.
"Look here dumb ass, I don't know what you want but even if I knew who Zim works for there's no fucking away I would tell you" She snapped.
I smiled at the threat Gaz gave him, like old times... I guess that's one of the few things that hasn't changed about her.
"We'll see about that!" He said maliciously.
The guy grabbed Gaz by her arm and got a gun out of him pocket, a revolver as a matter of fact and pointed at her chest.
My eyes widened at what I saw, I got my spider legs out of my Pak and jumped to the top of the building, next I jumped to where the gas pumps where, the guy saw me and quickly pointed the gun to Gaz head.
"Zim… nice you see you again"
"Define nice" I sneered as I walked closer to the moron who apparently had the desire to have his spleen removed slowly and painfully with a katana while he was still alive.
"Ah… ah... ah…" The human shook his finger patronizingly "Listen well Zim if you come any closer, your friend here pays the price."
I smiled sinisterly and Gaz caught it, either she thought I had a plan or that I was just being a hero who wanted to do some good, ha yeah right, I'm no hero, I'm just some evil bastard with nothing to lose.
"Are you really evil master?"
"Oh shit… shit… shit… shit, not now, why does Gir's voice has to come in the worse moments? I thought angrily.
I shake my head uncontrollably in order to keep my dead minion's voice out of my mind and then I stared menacingly at the man holding Gaz at gun point.
"I don't think so" I snarleed "You's dead!"
"Oh? And what makes you say that?" he taunted me.
Gaz got free from his greasy arm and punch him on his face.
Without second thoughts I retract my spider legs and got a gun out of my Pak as I quickly made my way towards the human scum, it was the same gun I used to try and kill Vito, my enemy got up but to his luck I had the gun at his face.
"I'll see you in hell!" were the last words that this filthy creature said.
I pulled the trigger and killed him, fortunately I had a silencer so one heard the laser, "I told you, you'r dead" I said smugly, heh the poor arrogant bastard never had a chance against me anyway, I looked at Gaz and saw her face... She looked like she wanted to scream in anger but to my surprise she hugged me and to add even more to my surprise I thought I heard sobbing.
"Its official I completely lost it".
"It's all ok now, Gaz I got you"
I whispered sixty seconds after hugging Gaz as she continued to cry.
"If you even dare to tell anyone about this… hiccups,., I'll make you wish you were never born"
"Ok, not completely" I thought.
"Oh you don't have to worry about me telling anyone Dib-Sister, the last thing I want is to suffer the same thing you did to me after I stole your gaming device all those years ago".
She smirked cruelly.
"So what are you gonna do about him?" Gaz asked pointing at the body with one hand and using the other one to wipe her eyes.
"He had it coming for some time... Besides better me than you"
"Wait a minute! What's that about better you then me?" She asked enraged, I better give her an explanation before she does something horrible to me.
"I meant to say that I have killed before and I'm pretty sure you haven't so no point in getting your hands bloody especially over some inferior pawn"
Gaz raised an eyebrow in amusement.
"Are you sure?" She asked teasingly "Think I haven't killed before?"
She gave me one of her cruel smirks, "Damn I'm turned on."
"That was something I wasn't expecting from you Dib-sister, you know if another of those humans comes, I'll let you kill him if you want to. I just thought that there is no reason for you to kill one of your own race… because I have seen that many of you regret doing it... But since I'm Irken it's something that I'm used to do and that I will never EVER regret"
"You know it's been years since I heard you call me by that name"
I nodded, and then I walked towards the corpse.
"What are you doing?"
"The guy's dead, might as well rob his ass"
"That's cold Zim" Gaz said with a smirk "You are even more immoral than I remember."
"If that's even possible" I told her winking an eye.
I grabbed the dead human's wallet and stole over 2000 bucks; I also grabbed his car keys, why not? He's not going to use it anymore.
"I finally won the lottery!" I gave one of my famous trademark outbursts.
Gaz raised an eyebrow "You don't say?"
"And I also got me a car" I screamed in delight.
Gaz rolled her amber eyes.
"Well Zim if you're done ymaking a fool of yourself, what say if we get outta here and we go to your house?"
"Fine, fine, let me just get my new car and we'll leave"
"That alien is even more screwed than I remembered, even more of a reason to like him" Gaz thought in both amusement and stupefied at what just happened.
"We drove the two cars to my house; my car was a dark gray Ferrari, as far as I knew it was one of the most expensive cars in existence and I got it for free... I remember when I was young…. well younger that I never figured out what humans saw in cars until I "turned 18 so to speak", one of the greatest experiences of my life"
Gaz peeps her car's horn, I turned my head and I saw that she was pointing at something, I looked and to my surprise she was pointing at my house.
I smirked, I bet Gaz thought I would have a freaky looking house like my original base; instead I have a normal one, that's because the house was a gift from the human that adopted me ten years ago.
We parked both our cars and got out of them without any trouble, we went to the front door, the house has 2 floors, it was dark gray with a little blue on each side, the garage door was also blue, there were a couple of windows on each floor and it had a pretty big satellite on the roof.
Once I got out my keys I opened the door and let Gaz go first, "After you human"
"You call me human one more time and you'll end up with BOTH your arms Zim in you ass... is that clear?"
"Crystal" I told her with smugness, she "huffed" and made her way towards my living room and without a care she sat down on my couch almost as if she owned it.
"Make yourself at home", I didn't mean that to be so literally but she just did as I instructed and she started to play some gaming device that somehow she managed to get out of nowhere, no matter how she does that it still creeps me out"
I left for a few minutes and came back from the attic with a few albums.
"Sooooo This is where you live?" Gaz said still playing her game and apparently trying to start a conversation, it felt awkward and I think she knew it.
"If you want to get technical this house was actually given to me"
She stops her game and stares at me in wonder "Someone gave YOU this place?"
"Yup"
"Legally?"
"Yup"
"You didn't kill anybody here did you?"
"Err..."
" You know what? Nevermind I don't want to know"
"Phew"
"Who...?"
"Family" I answered before she could finish her question.
Gaz gave me a look, she was obviously confused.
I sat down next to her.
"Squeak!"
We both looked at where the noise came from, to my surprise MiniMoose entered the living room, giving me a look that said "You dog"
"Squeak!"
My remaining sidekick floated to us and watched Gaz with red eyes; he then smiled at her adorably and for no apparent reason got himself comfortable in her long… sexy legs.
"Snap out of it Zim.. she's a human!"
"Gaz…MiniMoose… MiniMoose… Gaz you meet before" I told her in an attempt to stop myself from thinking that way about her.
"Hard to forget a tiny purple moose"
She began to stroke MiniMoose.
"Hey, where's Gir?"
I grind my teeth.
"I… don't wanna talk about it right now"
She stared at me but quickly shrugs the subject off apparently she understood my distress or more likely she didn't care.
"Then at least would you tell me how did you get this place?"
"Well I guess it all started the night I left….."
Flashback:
The Voot Cruiser was flying high above the city; Zim, Gir and MiniMoose were watching for the last time the city which had been their home for so long.
"I want a Suck Monkey!" Gir happily declared.
"No Gir." I said with authority and annoyance.
"I want a Suck Monkey!"
"Squeak!"
"What! But you don't even need to eat or drink!"
"Squeak!"
The two idiot sidekicks where doing this for some time until I finally gave in.
The Voot Cruiser was now flying to the City Mall, once they reached their destination, Zim got out of the ship (wearing his disguise) while Gir and MiniMoose stayed on the cruiser.
Zim walks up to the front door of the Mall and tries to open it, but it won't budge.
"Damn it," I cursed " ok nothing I can't handle I'll get those drinks for my two idiot sidekicks… or else they won't stop bugging me"
Four robotic spider legs emerge from Zim's Pak and becoming welding tools, creating an opening big enough for Zim to walk through. The robotic spider legs retract into the Pak.
Zim walks into the mall.
Security Room:
Slab Rankle is watching every monitor in the room like a chetta watching its next meal.
"Ah... every outlet is resting peacefully, not even a mouse can disturb their sleep, this makes my job worth while… knowing that every outlet is safe is every person's dream… mmmmyep."
Slab Rankle sees a security screen which monitors a Suck Monkey outlet.
"What's this?" He stared at the screen "Computer amplify the screen a 100"
The screen gets bigger and it shows Zim creeping through the mall.
"Ah young trespasser I been expecting your return, let's see if you have been training, because I upgraded my security system"
Meanwhile Zim was getting the Suck Monkeys.
"Gir and MiniMoose better appreciate what I'm doing for them; most invaders treat their minions like shitty shit"
Slab presses a red button which activates the defenses.
The Irken hears a sound and turns to face a tree, the branches from it moved, revealing some very intimidating weapons aiming Zim, they shoot lasers but the former invader was able to evade them while still holding the drinks in his clawed hands.
"Oh fuck, I forgot about that little stink man!"
The intercom in the mall turns on, making high pitched feedback.
"Ah it appears you remember me young trespasser"
"Looky here stink beast I'm just here to get these drinks for my two sidek—pets"
"Sure you are' Slab abswered sarcastically "last time you where here you destroyed my security system and bested my zombie soldiers... well this time I'm prepared."
"Zombie soldiers?" Gaz parroted in disbelief
"Don't ask, the guy was nuts but still LET ME CONTINUE WITH THE STORY!"
"Ok, ok, go on, damn, you need to calm down at times you know"
"Moving on" I said in annoyance.
"I hope you like what I done with the place"
Slab once again pressed a button and the floor on the mall begins to move, Zim is surprised and sees that the floor splits open, some of the outlet signs detaches and lasers are revealed, once the floor is completely open some robotic spider appear, they are the size of Zim's Pak, their backs open and guns come out, they began to shot, they where tranquilizers, Zim was able to evade them thanks to his spider legs but the lasers cut trough them, "Aw fuck" he lands on the floor, the mechanical spiders shot him and the alien felt asleep.
A few hours later Zim wakes up, he sees his surroundings; he is in a primitive looking lab but a laboratory nevertheless, the Irken tries to move his arm so he could prottect his eyes from the blinding light but sadly he's can't because he is strapped onto a platform.
"What in the blue fuck is going on here?"
"For such a small fellow you sure can scream a lot" Slab teased.
Zim turn his head to the direction of the voice and sees the very human that he defeated the last time he was here all those years ago.
"You!" the alien snarled.
"Yes me, you know I was expecting more of a challenge from you young trespasser"
"Two things, one I AM ZIM! and two I have no reason to fight another human worm baby"
"Really and why not?" the adult questionednot catching Zim's mistake.
"That's none of your business human!"
"Well if you aren't gonna tell me I might as well find out by myself."
"And how are you gonna do that?"
"Oh you'll see young trespasser" Slab said with a grin.
"I AM ZIM!"
"Quiet! There'll be time for you to yell your name later!"
Slab went to a computer a looks in an archive on something that may help him, after a while he smiles.
"Ah here's what I was looking for"
The weird guard gets up from his chair and looks at his "guest".
"Well...Zim if you're not telling me anything I might as well turn you into one of my Zombie Soldiers"
"WHAT?"
"Yes, you see someone with your skills could be very useful to my fight against people who are disrespectful towards the law and stuff"
"Are you high? That's the most stupid thing I ever heard"
"It's not stupid; it's a very rewarding job, knowing that you're doing something that will please your people!"
Zim began to look at him in a different way.
"So you're doing this because you want recognition from your people?"
"I don't want it, I already have it" Slab snapped.
"Okkkkkkkkkk" by now the Irken was creeped out.
"Well are you going to tell me or I'm I going to turn you into one of my Zombie warriors?"
Zim was about to open his mouth when the ceiling explodes and Gir and MiniMoose drop down.
"Leave my master alone!" the little robot hollowed in duty mode getting several pieces of weaponry out of his head.
"Squeak!"
Slab sees Zim's henchmen and totally freaks out.
"What... what the hell are those things?"
"Gir, what are you doing here, I told you and MiniMoose to stay in the Voot Cruiser!"
"But master, you were out for soooooooo long" Gir said as he returned back to normal "And you didn't bring us our Suck monkeys so we thought that something bad must have happened to our drinks!
"Squeak!"
Zim just stares at him sidekicks in disbelief "Oh sure when he wants a suck monkey then he uses those damn weapons"
"Sorry to interrupt this meeting but would you mind explaining me what's going on?"
"Release me and I'll tell you or suffer my wrath!"
So after a while Slab heard the whole story, he was impressed.
"So you're an alien outcast?"
"ummmmmyep"
"So that's why you bested me and my Zombie soldiers, your skills must be more advance that any one else on Earth"
"You could say that"
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know, I was pretty much gonna have a new life on your pituful planet since I'm not allowed on my homeworld"
Slab scratches his chin.
"I'll make you a deal Zim"
"I'm listening stinky man"
"You upgrade the mall with alien technology and I'll give you a home"
I though about this deal for a few minutes until I decided to bargain as you humans call it.
"How about this?" I said "I upgrade what I can with the technology I still have and you get me information on how can I be in the military of your planet and a home"
"Deal"
Both adults shook on it.
"So you ended up living with him?"
"Not what I had in mind I must admit, but it wasn't that bad"
"So that's what you meant by family?" Gaz asked in understanding.
"Yes, you know if I did have a father I guess it would be Rankle"
"So what happened to your "father"?" She questioned suspiciously.
""I didn't kill him if that's what your thinking, he actually died a couple of weeks ago, he didn't have much of a family so in his will he left me this house and what was left of his money, which was in fact a lot who knew a demented little man knew how to handle his invesments?"
Gaz then looked down at my legs.
'What you got there?"
"These are albums from all that I've done during the years on Earth" I explained.
"Can I see?"
"Eh… sure, if you want to"
During the next hour or so I showed Gaz pictures of me in Military School (which I said before passed easily), the time Slab trained me in Earth combats, when I graduated from high Skool, when Slab and said good bye to me when I left to become part of the FBI (Ironic don't you think?) and finally when I received an offering as I spy, which I obviously took, the one thing I didn't show her was when I was forced to work at a local chicken restaurant, I will not show her the horrible job I almost had to endure everyday.
In almost all the photos she could se my amazing self along with Gir, Slab or MiniMoose, in a way I often think that I was grateful that the Tallest told me my mission was a fake because if they hadn't then I would still be an oblivious fool... I would still be living a horrible, horrible lie.
"And that pretty much what I been doing all these years" I told her as she continued to look at the pictures with envious eyes, at least I THINK they were envious.
"Squeak!"
With out any warning Gaz just got her head in my shoulder and I felt my cheeks go purple and to add more of an awkward moment all of the sudden she gave me a kiss... I was surprised, I didn't push her away though, instead I started to kiss her back.
MiniMoose was now on the floor watching us with curiosity.
After several minutes she slowly parted away, she then whispered to me in a very seductive voice. "Wanna have some fun?"
I started to sweat.
"Uh Gaz not to be rude or anything but are you sure about this?" I stammered.
"As sure as I can be"
'umm...OK but how about if we go upstairs?"
"Fine with me alien scum"
"Oh you'll regret calling me that Dib-sister"
Both human and Irken got up from the couch and went upstairs.
"Squeak!"
Translation into English "I'm gonna need earplugs"
Elsewhere:
The Vortian vessel just crashed on the park and the Irken Raro within it just managed to get out of it without being burned alive, he looked at all directions for any signs of the inhabitants of the planet and after seeing that he was alone, he collapsed on the grass and lowered his hood breathing heavily.
"No wonder I never became an Invader" the Irken growls.
He managed to see a lake near of where he crashed, he slowly went to it and saw his reflection on it.
He touches his scar and snarls "Once I beat Kijani at her own game I'll make sure to break every bone in her body before I erase her PAK"
Again he looks at his reflection "Because I'm tall and because no matter what it takes I WILL be known once again as Tallest Red!"
And then he slips and his body came in contact with the water, isn't it just a wonderful sight to behold?
To Be Continued…
Well that's enough for now, hope you all enjoyed this chapter, yes I know I'm moving it to fast for the ZAGR relationship but I'm doing it because I want to get straight to the point.
I also told ya Red was gonna have a role in this story but if you are Tallest Red fan then you might not like the next few chapters, also Gir won't have a role in this fic until the drama gets more juicy, JSYK, I'm just doing it because I wanna make it serious for the first few chapters and THEN bring up the comic relief.
Finally review me because I COMAND YOU!
Invader Johnny Signing Off