Bestfriend's secret

by neurodox

This is a Phan-y fiction where Phil is a girl. Not like hes Phil but hes a she, like her name is Phoebe and she is the lady-phil. Like lady-loki, but Philip. It is probably going to be super fluffy and there may be some smut (sorry not sorry). WARNING ahead of time I rated T but depending on where this goes it may end up M so if you'tr scared of that, just a heads up :)

2. Chapter 2

Dan's POV

I told myself today. I told myself I would do it. I can't though. Uh, yes I can. It's physically possible. But I feel like literally can't.

It's a fucking hole either way, is what it is. They're two totally different holes, yes, but both huge, scary, holes that could be painful, none the less. One way- it's just another thing piled up on me that makes the lump in my throat and queasiness in my stomach unbearable some nights. The other hole is kind of bigger, I guess. Here's how it'll go; I tell Phoebe I'm falling in love with her, she doesn't feel the same, she awkwardly rejects me, things become awkward, it affects the views, my whole career is down the drain along with my friends (the majority of whom are on the internet). I think about it for a bit, listening to the rain that hasn't let up yet, and slowly chewing some Shreddies.

I get up and pace around a bit towards her room, then wander back and sit down. Then I find myself rolling around on the floor like a grown ass man. I sit back up and doddle around to and from the hallway back to the couch for a long time. I end up sitting back down, working out my conclusion, chewing now soggy Shreddies. My conclusion is this:

Why did I even have to consider it? One way is selfish, the other isn't. I can't tell her if I want to spare her and her friends and fans. Yeah, that's why I can't. It'd be selfish. Also, I'm a huge pussy when it comes to my feelings.

I finish up my cereal and put the bowl next to the sink. Turning around, I see Phoebe. Well, the back of Phoebe. It looks like she just turned around. Had she been watching me? Oh my god, did she see me being a grown ass man? Dan, you need to stop being so fucking paranoid. She's seen me do it before. She's my best friend. I'm letting it all get to my head. My constant thinking about her is rotting away the part of my brain that remembers how casual we can be around each other.

"Pheebs!" I call after her.

"Yeah, Dan?" She stops but doesn't turn around.

"We should go shopping. I don't want to have another box throwing incident." I say, and she throws her head back and groans. "Come on… It has to be done. And I'm not going alone again I got weird looks last time."

"They'll probably still stare at you if I'm there. You'll still look the same." I give her a shocked look and she covers quickly, "I'm sorry that was mean. Don't hit me." I love how she's so innocent. She can't hurt a fly without feeling bad.