Behind Blue Eyes
Chapter 2
It's My Choice
By Animeguera
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.
All information about pregnancy is taken from the internet.
Five weeks (Timeline of pregnancy)
He held out his hand for me to take. The car door remained open; the sweet cold piney air of Earth filled my lungs. I took a deep breath, more to calm my stomach than to breathe. Exhaling a cloud,I didn't take his hand, not anymore. I stepped slowly out of the car, my first steps off the shuttle led to a trash can and retracting my lunch from digestion. The gray concrete sidewalk was cold. A few flakes of snow flew into my 2 cm heel shoes. Cold… My steps were carefully measured, left foot then right foot. I must look like a drunken fool. I tripped on a large pebble, wedged into the cracks of the sidewalk. My ankle rolled and without even losing my balance completely, I was held upright by none other than Heero. I kept walking, as if the incident never happened. Miraculously, I made it to my front door without additional assistance.
There it was. My home. The small house was enough to accomadate a small group of people. It was painted a deep red color, darker than blood. The miniature mansion in the Sanq Kingdom provided much protection, even at such a secluded part of the country. The security camera whirred to capture my face, like usual, I smiled at the security technicians. This smile however was forced, fabricated for the outside world. The real smile was lost inside. The great oak door opened before I could pull out any key. It revealed a smiling old man.
"Miss Relena, it's nice to have you home again." Pagan said, as he allowed me to pass through the open door. I smiled back at him. His gray hair thinned with each day. It's nice to be back. I looked up at him and tried to keep my smile intact. He closed the door behind my stalker. I barely convinced Lucrezia and Milliardo to let me come home alone. Why won't he just leave? Inside, the purple colors of the walls were familiar, warm. Portraits with bright gold colored frames of family members: Brother, sister, mother and father. All of them had their eyes set on my stomach. Their eyes, their thoughts, their disappointment. The kitchen was close by. My hunger tried to overtake me, but I just climbed up to my room.
The red rug on the stairs was soft. I studied it as I stepped up. The final door at the hall was closed. He still followed my every step. "Stop it. The bed is not my enemy."My words were quiet, barely audible. I know he heard me. He let me walk into my room alone but he stood at the doorway, denying the door to close. I could only sigh. The great oak door remained open. I glanced up from the floor. Big mistake. My eyes unwilling and instinctively set on a childish object of affection, my secret source of strength. Its black bead eyes stared back at me, even so, I tried to ignore the brown fur animal. Walking cautiously to my bed, I prepared to simply collapse on, I instead ran to the bathroom. I found the porcelain bowl and let out all my guts. Ugh. Disgusting. The toilet paper nearby was useful in wiping the food drooling on my face. He didn't follow me in here.
I stayed in the bathroom, I'm not sure how long. No one judged me in here. I awoke with my toilet as my only companion. Hmm...where did he go?
As I left my companion, my legs felt like cherry gelatin. Gelatin sounds really yummy right about now. I got up slowly; a bit of nausea overcame me. I could only ignore it only for a few seconds. A final gag left my stomach empty. There was nothing left to deposit in the toilet. A final push and I got up. The room spun. Stop being weak. I walked down the stairs. No one was around. Odd. The cool feel of the oak stairwell felt was nice. The purple colored wallpaper matched the deep red rugs. I heard voices in the den. Lucrezia and Milliardo had arrived, against my wishes. I could hear their questions, they were conversing on the video phone to a doctor. They were indeed full of questions. I had questions too.
Around the corner, the next room contained a cute surprise. There he is. Heero sat quietly in a sofa chair. His dark blue eyes behind his disheveled brown hair could barely be seen. His focus was captured by the book in his hands. The bright yellow bound book was a deep contrast to his black and forest green uniform. "Preventer Yuy" read his tag. Preventer…and yet collaborator. I smiled and stood against the doorway, merely admiring. The room was quiet, the questions became lost murmurs. His pants black, neatly pressed, were slack and yet tight. His shoes black, as well. His jacket only semi covered a dark blue shirt underneath. At that he needed was a hat, and he'd resemble a military soldier.
He hadn't even noticed my arrival. What could be capturing his interests? Struggling to read the title of the book, I squinted my eyes and strained. The words, "Your baby and you," in blue letter on the cover released a chuckle from me. The book instantly closed and was hidden. His eyes glared at me. Their cobalt blue color, taking me inside.
"Relena, come with me." Lucrezia's words interrupted the quiet pleasure. She took my hand without a response and led me to Milliardo's presence. Sigh. Here we go again. I was surprised to see another person in the room. Almost an afterthought. I never told mother. She sat quietly and calmly in a dinner table chair. She did not acknowledge my entrance into the room. I approached her and merely gave her a kiss on the cheek. She barely registered a welcome. After that, I chose to sit near the video phone, shrinking the distance between my exit and I, increasing the distance between everyone else.
"Good afternoon Sally." I said before turning to view the screen. She smiled nervously at me.
"Good afternoon, Miss Peacecraft." She said calmly. Her voice was straight forward as if she were still in the military.
"It's Relena, please." I pleaded. No formalities needed anymore. "You understand what the situation is?" She nodded. Without doubt, I heard quiet steps, the reader entered the room. Don't look at him. "Do you have any suggestions?" My eyes focused on the screen. Straining to see past it, but even so his reflection stared back.
"Yes, well, according to your hospital chart, you're healthy except for a slight case of anemia. Your iron intake will need to increase, followed by a healthy diet." She said as if merely reading from a sheet of paper. Her eyes didn't look up once.
"Can I still perform my duties as Foreign Minister?" I asked quietly. My job is more important than anything...even this... She pondered for second, as she glanced up, mistakenly into Milliardo's blue eyes.
"Well, um, you can continue your duties as Foreign Minister, but I wouldn't recommend you travel to the colonies." The Unification Conference. Milliardo cleared his throat. "I will send over a few books that can help explain what you're going through." An explanation would be necessary. "You might feel some nausea, as well be light headed. Make sure to eat healthy and you can try to start walking a bit more." She smiled sweetly at me. That's the only thing I can do.
"We need to get rid of it." Milliardo's cold voice said almost whispering. A dark thought entered my mind: A possiblity... I could only turn to him and open my mouth before Lucrezia's bold hand slapped him across the face. Her stern violet eyes burned to a deep magenta.
"I believe that choice is mine, Milliardo." I said simply as oceans filled my eyes. Turning back to hide them. It was my choice, but what do I choose? Motherhood: Single, with a baby and always busy... Murderer: Single, alone and always busy... Clear seas threatening to spill over. Stop it. I took a deep breath and held it. Slowly the wind escaped my lungs. Better.
"You need to stay healthy, it's not just for you anymore." She said trying to keep the silence from filling the room. For a little person inside.
"I have to stop smoking then, right?" I said and smiled. Sally's lips curled. Milliardo's red face, from anger or the slap, and white blonde hair did not seem to find my comment funny. Heero stood behind him. His face was set in stone. He looked serious. Such a change from earlier. I turned back to Sally. At least someone thought it was funny. Behind me, I could not see, but his lips smirked up. His eyes lit up.
"Relena, who is the father?" I bit my lip. I knew this was going to come. Everyone held their breath, awaiting my answer.
I mustered up all the courage I had, even borrowed some from Heero's presence. "I'm afraid I don't know." I looked to the floor, it would not judge me.