Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... May 2nd
I think I might hate you.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... May 5th
I guess you don't care, but it's my thirteenth birthday soon. Not that I expect anything after two years of nothing, it just would have been nice to know you actually still think about me.
Mom threw out all of the photos of just you. I still have one that I'm hiding under some books on my shelf. I don't know why, it's not as if you have any of me.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... May 11th
Janice Taylor is no longer my best friend, and that's your fault. She started talking about you at school behind my back, calling you a whackjob (which you are) and saying how she always knew you were a creep. She wasn't saying it to me, but I heard her anyway. She told Matt Spencer that I was crying about you in the girl's room before school. I called her a bitch and accidentally spilled paint all over her work in art.
... Maybe it's not just your fault that we're not friends anymore.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... May 12th
I read in a book in the library today about famous modern serial killers. I sat on the floor and read the whole thing in an hour. I didn't want to freak mom out by taking home a book about how and why people kill, so I didn't even bring my library card. She wants me to go back to the psychiatrist to see how I'm coping.
How do you 'cope' when your dad kills people?
You turned out to be a murderer, just... ran out on us and joined up with two of the creepiest men of the modern age! How did you do that? Did you meet in a bar or something? Did you meet them first and then leave, or did you decide you didn't want to be a dad anymore first?
According to that book I read the only living serial killer still at large who has a higher kill count than the Winchesters is a man in Russia.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... June 8th
A documentary about you and the Winchesters aired tonight. That was quick. I remember mom chasing off a guy with a camera only a week ago. She wouldn't let me watch it when it aired, but I've had a computer in my room since my birthday last year so I searched youtube until I found some clips.
I saw the parts where they theorise that you were actually kidnapped and brainwashed. I like that better than the idea that you just ran out on us. Should I feel guilty about that?
I'm thirteen now.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... June 15th
I've doing a lot of research online and in the library and I think I might have anger issues. I don't show it but I'm angry a lot of the time these days. I don't want mom to worry and I really don't want to spend time at the guidance office at school so I don't say a word to anyone. It's easy to fool people.
I wonder if that's how you feel sometimes. I wonder if you were only pretending to be normal, or if you just do it now so people on the street don't know who you are.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... June 23rd
I know a lot about you, thanks to the internet. I keep having to delete my browser history in case mom ever checks up on what I've been reading. She doesn't want me to talk about you, except when she tells me it's ok to be upset and if I ever want to talk then she's there. I'm pretty sure she's lying, because I tried talking about the Winchesters after dinner tonight and she started crying. I caught her looking at the yellow card on the cork board. 'Julie-Anne Weathers, Child Psychiatrist'. I think I'll stick to talking to you.
Anyway, I know some things about you. I know you call yourself 'Castiel' now and don't answer to your real name. I know that your preferred method of killing is with a knife, there was security footage up on youtube for a few hours that showed you killing a man at a service station. I didn't get to see it before it was removed.
I also know that they say you're in a relationship with Dean Winchester. I didn't expect that. But then it's not like I expected you to ever kill people either.
I got a D on my last math test. Mom says I might need a tutor. I'm doing really well in English and Art though.
I don't know if you'd care about that.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... June 26th
I don't think I hate you anymore. Is that bad?
I don't know why.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... June 27th
I'm not sure I want to go to church anymore. I mean, I like the services and hearing the sermons. I love the stained glass windows and the paintings of the saints. I just don't know if I believe in God anymore.
A God like He is in the Bible wouldn't let you live and still gt away with the things that you do. Your name is a kind of sacrilege. You're a murderer, possibly a satanist or at least a participant in pagan rituals. (You're gay too, but even in the bible God never killed anyone for being gay.) If God is anything like what we're told in church, why would He let you and the Winchesters get away with murder? Literally!
I think I'll keep going to church for now, even if I don't believe in God. The Petersons always sit near us and their youngest son is my age. At least I'm not the only teenage Catholic who still attends Sunday services, even if we're forced to for love of our parents (parent?) and not religion.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... July 20th
A girl at school used you to try and make fun of me. I wanted to hit her with my book, but George Orwell deserves better treatment than that. I kicked her instead.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... August 1st
I read about Ruby Fields in the paper. She became national news after she managed to call home and told her parents she was with the Winchesters. I'm now 98% sure that the Winchesters really did kidnap and brainwash you.
Can't they get boyfriends or girlfriends the normal way? It can't be that hard. I've seen pictures of them. I've even seen creepy fansites online where people post about how they'd marry one of them if they could. I felt like replying and telling them to grow up.
Mom bought a bread maker and introduced me to a man she met at the supermarket. I think he's her new boyfriend and she's scared of upsetting me. I don't know why, it's not like you've only just gone and I keep thinking you'll come back. I haven't thought you were coming back in a long time.
Claire.
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Dear Serial-Killing, Possibly Satanic Dad... August 16th
I got a B+ on my social studies assignment, and John Peterson may be going to ask me out next weekend.
I heard on the news that you participated in a small massacre at a diner in Wyoming, specifically in the parking lot. The news feed says that satanic symbols were spray painted on the asphalt and that there was blood everywhere. I keep imagining that your clothes would get very messy during these massacres. Is it hard to get the blood out of your clothing?
Mom says that grass stains are the hardest to get out, but I think that blood would be harder. She would also worry about my asking, so I guess I'll have to keep such morbid curiosity to myself or risk giving her the wrong idea. Knowing her she would take it as a sign that I am emotionally disturbed and I don't want to give her the idea that I have a genetic predisposition to violent crime.
Do you think there is such a thing as a genetic predisposition to violent and criminal behaviours?
I'm dreading my next science exam and hate chemistry with a passion.
Claire.