Thanks for tuning in! This chapter verges on angst, I didn't really intend for it to be so but it did. While it may go back and forth, this isn't an angsty story though. I like to think you'll get a bit of drama, then some fluff, some danger, ect like a TV episode. :) Let me know what you think! It helps keep the creative sweet tea flowing! (Like Belle, I prefer tea to juice. :P)

No matter how hard Belle tried to shove Lacey into the deepest recesses of her mind and forget about her, the hussy just didn't like to stay quiet.

She wondered anxiously if this was what schizophrenia was like.

Passing by The Rabbit Hole everyday was to Lacey what passing a bookstore was to Belle. Extreme and utter temptation. But pass it by she did, dutifully every single day.

At night, however, things were different.

While it wasn't that hard to abstain from the bar, abstaining from the liquor in Rumple's shop was an entirely different story. Every day she promised herself that she would simply make herself a cup of tea and curl up in his big comfy chair with a book.

The farthest she ever got was curling up with the tea and book before the tea was dumped out and scotch poured in its place.

Belle hated herself for it.

But her nerves were fried, she missed her beloved, and the town was teetering on the edge of chaos each day without its leaders in place, and her mind just WOULDN'T SHUT UP. Her skin burned and her head ached and Lacey just kept screaming at her until she finally gave in and with that first sip she felt immediately better.

Belle downed another shot, letting the heat take away all of her pain and loneliness. Damn Lacey, why did she have to do this to her? Belle always equated drunkards with weaklings. Now she was one.

With dismay she realized the bottle was empty, and she was barely buzzed. She dug through the cabinets, looking for more, but found nothing but potions she knew good and well not to touch.

She could go to Granny's, but if the ever-knowing older woman saw Belle's need she would assuredly cut her off. The only other place in town that sold alcohol this late was the one place she swore she'd never return to.

Belle shook her head and curled up in the chair in the back of Rumple's shop and tried to force her hands to be still. No, she wouldn't go there. But she was already coming down off her high and that was worse part, especially if she didn't get to achieve the level of numbness she wanted.

Swallowing her pride, Belle left the shop.

The bartender looked surprised and vaguely nervous when she entered, but served her politely nonetheless. Once she was in there Belle didn't feel so bad. There was nothing wrong with the place; it was just a bar, and a decently nice one at that. And there was nothing wrong with her being there, especially if she was just there to have a few drinks…dressed very appropriately at that.

She put more money on the bar, feeling guilty that it was Rumple's money, but thought he'd understand. The bartender set another glass in front of her, then another, and another.

"Think maybe you've had enough, Lacey?" he asked, trying at good-humored.

"My name is not Lacey!" she snapped. "My name is Belle."

"Uh…oh…" he stammered. "Sorry…I didn't realize."

Belle shook herself. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have….snapped…" she felt fuzzy, heavy, her words were hard to form. "But it's…Belle."

"Right, sorry, Belle," he gave her another drink.

She'd finally settled into that dreamy world of numbness, where nothing hurt and even Lacey was pacified. It was so nice and peaceful, so she didn't exactly appreciate Ruby suddenly talking loudly in her face.

"Go'way," Belle mumbled, pushing at her with a limp arm.

"I got her," Ruby said to someone else and Belle felt herself lifted by the arms off of her stool.

There was a series of wobbly walking, almost-trips, and Belle breaking away from her friend to wander off in the opposite direction, but the next thing she knew she was at the inn, in the living area Ruby shared with her grandmother.

"Why'd you brin' me here?" Belle muttered in confusion.

"Cause you're drunk off your ass," Ruby said, her words not matching her gentle tone. "What's with you, girl? This isn't like you."

"How'ould you know? Don't know me."

Ruby frowned. "I guess you're right, I don't know you that well, but I know you well enough that you like feeling in control. Do you feel in control right now?"

"Feel numb," Belle slurred, slumping on the couch, and not feeling like hearing Ruby's logic. "Tired of feelin' ever'thing."

"I know what you mean," Ruby pressed a glass of water in Belle's hands and urged her to drink. "I struggled with this to after the curse broke. It's a bitch. You just want to make all the confusion go away. Make that stupid voice of the cursed you shut the hell up, right?"

Belle's eyes widened, her vision clearing somewhat. "You too?"

Ruby nodded. "You know that my real name is Red, don't you?"

Belle half-smiled. "As in…"

"Little Red Riding Hood, yeah," Ruby laughed. "Ruby is my cursed name. But I like it, so it stuck. You didn't get the pleasure of meeting Ruby, but let me tell you…I think she and Lacey would have been best friends."

"Ruby was like Lacey?"

Ruby nodded. "A lot like Lacey. She drank, cursed, dressed like a skank and threw herself at any man who would have her," she shuddered at the memory. "Or, at least that's what she remembered. Luckily I never actually physically threw myself at anyone."

Belle shuddered as well. She was sobering up fast, which made her head pound. "I know I was only Lacey for a short time…but I have her in my head now. All she cared about was drinking, having fun, and getting…" she halted at the word, never having actually said it before. "See? That's what I mean! I wouldn't even know what the term getting laid even means if it weren't for Lacey!"

"I know just what you're saying, Belle, and it's okay, we're all going through it in some way or another."

"How have you all not lost your fucking minds?" Belle blinked and shook her head, disconcerted by yet another formerly unused word. At least she knew what this one was as Belle due to all the books she read.

Ruby chuckled, likely by sweet little Belle cussing. "It's ain't easy, Hon. But David said something before, right after the curse broke that really helped all of us. No really, it was a great speech, wish you'd been there. But he said that we're both. I'm Red and Ruby, two parts of a whole, and once I accepted that, it was okay."

Belle chewed on her bottom lip, wincing at the throbbing of her skull. "So Lacey isn't just some made up character Regina implanted in me," all along she'd truly hoped that was the case, but in her heart she knew better. "She's simply a part of my personality that I didn't know was there."

"Pretty much," Ruby shrugged. "I mean, it is different with you. Our fake memories were part of the curse, yours weren't. But, from what I understand," she made a face, as if she was confusing herself. "Well, the way Archie explains it is that our cursed personalities are the worst versions of ourselves. It's what happens when you take away our strengths, our self-confidence, and the thing that matters most to us. In many cases, like yours, your True Love."

She hated it, but Belle had to admit that made sense. She buried her head in her hands. "So Lacey is a part of me? I'll never be rid of her?"

"She is you, Belle. I know you don't like it, and I don't blame you, but the sooner you accept it you'll feel so much better, trust me!"

"But you don't understand!" Belle raised her head quickly, eyes brimming with tears and regretting the swift movement immediately when it made her head swim. "It isn't just drinking and partying, you don't know what Lacey is like!"

"Aw, come on," Ruby smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "So she liked to go out and have fun…"

"No!" Belle persisted. "She was…I was…dark. Ruby, I watched Rumple beat a man to a pulp because he kissed me, and I…liked it. I encouraged him, wanted him to do it again to someone else! It actually…" she made a face, hoping to convey what she meant without saying the actual words.

Ruby's eyes flew open in understanding. "Oh. Oh! Oh my God…you mean Lacey got off…"

Belle nodded glumly. "Yeah. And if I've carried over a desire to drink after getting my memories back, what will that mean for Rumple when he gets back? What if I still…"

Ruby held up a hand to interrupt her. "Here's the thing. Everyone has a dark side. It's just life. Honey, clearly you've always had a…thing…for darkness. You fell in love with the Dark One! But because you're you, and you're good and moral, you would never let that side of you take over, instead you've helped Rumplestiltskin actually be…human…like. The only reason Lacey was the way she was is because she didn't have your heart, your spirit, your strength. Now you have that back, and when Rumple comes back and tries to beat someone up you're gonna stop him because it's the right thing to do. And…if you drag him home afterward and have your wicked way with him, so be it," the last she said with a sly smile turning up the corner of her red lips.

That did the trick, and Belle started laughing. "Well, I'd have to wait a while to have my wicked way with him so he won't associate beating someone up with a reward."

"Of course," Ruby said in mock seriousness. "Now…do I want to know who Gold beat to a pulp so Lacey could get her jollies?"

Belle waved a hand dismissively, and if Ruby smirked because it was a very Rumplestiltskin-esque gesture, Belle didn't notice. "Oh, don't worry too much. He lived, and I believe Rumple even healed to an extent. He was a vile man here and back home. He once tried to talk Rumple into letting him have me for twenty minutes in exchange for information. Obviously that didn't go over well."

Ruby wrinkled her nose. "Blech."

Belle chuckled. "Blech is right," she leaned back on the sofa, taking small sips of her water. "But Rumple's adamant refusal and sheer disgust of the idea was the first time I knew that there was a man behind the beast," her voice trailed off, and her eyes blinked heavily. "Sorry you had to drag my drunk ass out of the bar."

Ruby shrugged one shoulder. "What are friends for? Just promise me Belle that you won't do this again. A drink or two is one thing, but I don't like seeing you like this."

"I don't like being like this," Belle murmured, and it was true. The numbness of alcohol was inviting and tempting, but Ruby was right in that Belle hated the loss of control. "No one decides my fate but me," she said, more to herself than to her friend. "I've never let anyone control me, and I'm not about to let a stupid drink do it. I don't want this anymore, Ruby, I want to stop. But's it's hard. It shouldn't be, but it is!"

Ruby smiled, wrapping her arms around her. "I know, Honey, I know. But you have me, and I'm going to help you."

Belle leaned into her friend's embrace, but couldn't stop herself from saying quietly, "I miss Rumple," she pulled back quickly, looking up at Ruby. "I didn't mean that I'm not glad you're here…I just…"

Ruby chuckled and pulled Belle into another hug. "Relax, I know what you mean. I'd want my man too. I still haven't figured out how the hell you two make such a damned adorable couple. But I try not to think too hard on it. You are one powerful little woman who can bring the Dark One to his knees and what's more…make me want to hug the guy when you lost your memory and he looked like a kicked puppy for weeks."

Belle grinned. "He's impossible not to want to hug when he looks like that," all at once her better mood fell and the pounding in her head increased and her stomach churned. "Ugh…"

Ruby pulled back slowly, an annoyingly knowing look on her face. "Here's another reason getting trashed isn't a great idea."

The reason kept Belle wrapped around the toilet for the rest of the night.