Quick disclaimer : I'm making a translation of my own work. Bear in mind that I'm French, so my English may not be the best. I sincerely apologize if you find awful mistakes in this story. If you do, don't hesitate to let me know and to correct me so that I can improve myself. With that said, I hope you enjoy Dear Neverland !
Lily just passed the Rockabye's door this afternoon when Rutsy McLughin stood in front of her. He seemed grumpy, as usual. Rusty wasn't a bad man but Lily would'nt have said that he was a nice man either. He was the Rockabye's manager since his father, Rusty Senior, passed away and now that the club was in bad shape, Rusty's mood was getting worse and worse by the day. The girl worked there for nearly a year now and even it was illegal at her age, Rusty closed his eyes to that when he heard about her circumstances. It was mainly because he needed the worforce and also because the amount on Lily's pay was absolutely ridiculous.
The forty-or-so man was badly dressed and the few hairs on his nearly bold skull were grayish. He was handing a fold piece of paper to her. Lily raised an eyebrow in question and Rusty simply shook the paper in front of her face, eyebrows knitted. She took the sheet with two fingers, unfolded it to read it's content and thought she would fall on her knees when she saw the first word, written on a big, black font : « DISMISSAL ».
Lily opened her mouth to talk, not knowing if she was even able to because of a lump in her throat, but Rusty spoke first.
- Sorry kiddo, that's just business, he said with a gravelly voice, brushing off his own words with a shrug, like this was nothing more to him.
He quickly disappeared between the flashy neon lights in the club before Lily could even oppose and, before she could realise what just happened she was nicely led to the exit by the Rockabye's bouncer like she was some kind of nuisance. Some time passed before she coudl move again. What was she going to do ? She wasn't 18 yet and nobody would hire her knowing that she didn't even finish High-School. She was 3 month late on her rent because she was using most of her money to pay her mother's hospital fees. She couldn't afford to be unemployed, not now.
One way or another, Lily found her way to the building inside of which was her tiny run down appartment. The journey between the Rockabye and there was a complete blank. The building's facade was almost completely covered in ivy and now that she was in front of it, she realised that she hated it even more than she had the day before. The scent of mould that worm itself between each plank and wall was clearly perceptible, even from the outside. The crooked windows and the mostly dead vegetation were giving a dreadful look to the building. Lily never really lived in luxury, her family wasn't even rich but her old house had a nice floury garden, a pretty facade and an enjoyable scent of citrus and herbal tea, a mix of her parents' perfumes. The descent into hell that she lived this past 3 years included the loss of their family home and the only appartment that she could rent with her small savings was in this building. Her appartment was approximately 12 square metres, the walls were covered in mould, the floor was wobbly and eaten away by moth and her neighbours noises was going through the walls like they were paper thin. She hated this place but at this time it was home and that was all that remained.
Heavy hearted and the head full of worries, Lily dragged herself to the cramped entrance. There, the smell was even more unbearable that upstairs but the young woman was used to hold her breath from the door to the last step of the stairs. On the first floor the smell was mixed with bitter scent of joint that was smoked in one of the run down appartment. Obscene songs and curls of smoke worm outside of the appartment door endlessly. Here et there Lily cold here a couple screaming at each other, a man moaning in front of a pornographic movie whose sound was clearly too loud or a group of kid playing instruments for which they don't have any talent. Lily crossed the noisy hallway, her face was closed and her brows were knitted. Finally she arrived in front of her own wooden door.
Like a mantra, she had repeated herself that things couldn't go more downhill since here meeting with Rusty. Life was hard but if she could grit her teeth a little more longer, then maybe she would make it and would be rewarded one way or another. She knew, the moment she had that thought, that this was only an absurd fantasy but she couldn't stopped herself to hold on to it. What a mistake. On the run down door was a piece of paper keeped in place by a pin. The title alone sent Lily to hit rock bottom, to a place where she could never come back. On the sheet, in hard black font was written : « EVICTION ».
Miss Branwell,
Being a tenant of this place, you commited yourself to pay a rent written on your lease every new month.
Today you haven't payed the following months : July, August and September, which amount to 780$, excluding utilities. In spite of a warning you didn't found useful to pay this amount on time.
Hereby, I'm forced to terminate your lease and to evict you from this property. You have 7 days to empty the appartment. After this period of time, everything that will be found in the appartment will immediately be thrown away at the nearest garbage dump.
Cordially,
M. Stevenson.
When she read those cold and impersonal words, Lily felt the last link preventing her from sobbing shattered in a thousand of pieces. She fall on her knees, the violence of it nearly taking her breath away. Her face was soaked with tears and sadness and pain fought inside her. She thought she was strong and indepedant but at this exact moment she was only a scared and broken little girl from whom dreams, hope and strenght to move on were stolen. She was only an underaged girl, an orphan unemployed and homeless. The worst had happened, the road to hell came to it's dreadful end and Lily could only swim in darkness and despair, not knowing how to get through this alone. She refused for so long to believe that life was dogging her waiting for her to bow and break from the inside. She always remembered her father's voice when he said « When you will grow up, sweat Lily, you will accomplish anything » and she fooled herself in believing in a better futur, thanks to those beautiful and childish lies. But she will never get her father back, she will never accomplish great things and this dreamed futur will never be within easy reach. That was the reality in which she was living. The cruel and unforgiving reality. There, hunched on the floor with the face soaked, the eyes red and the heart broken, Lily knew she didn't want to belong to this kind of reality.
That night, Lily sat on the edge of a bridge which overhang a dried up river. She hadn't emptied her appartment, she hadn't called the hospital to talk to her mother and she hadn't put on a sweater to shield herself from the icy October wind. She hadn't done any of this because, soon, none of it would matter. This bridge had an important meaning for Lily. When she was younger, that was her favorite place in the whole world. Every weekend, her father would take her there at dusk to watch the evening star shine, brighter than billion of others. Then she curled up against him when all the lights in the street were coming to life. He always whisperd to her that a wonderful world awaited them behind the stars. Those stars seemed gloomy, nearly faded , tonight and watching the night sky tightened Lily's heart, stopping a breath in her throat. Her tears, like the river beside her, had dried up, leaving invisible lines on her cheeks and little spots on her white and blue shirt.
She inhaled and exhaled in rhythm with the wind for a couple of long minutes and then stood on her feet. The tip of her boots was already floating in thin air, pointing to the ground below. When she looked at her final destination, her own terminus, Lily found herself cowardly and she was glad, for once, that her parents weren't able to see her now. Despite everything, she knew and felt that this was the only way. After 3 years living in hell, she simply needed to find peace, to fell asleep and never wake up, to be freed.
- We'll find each other behind the stars, she whispered, eyes locked on the brightest star in the winter sky.
The wind blew harder, carrying with him the leaves, the pebbles on the walkway and Lily's tense body which was now speeding in the air, closing the distance between herself and the ground, between herself and her freedom.
