AN: I am still working on Gift and I'm almost done with another chapter so here's chapter two. It's also been a little over a month. I don't like leaving folks hanging longer than that regardless.
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2
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Leaning forward at the round table, Gaara shook his head briefly "This is unacceptable." It was said calm and completely devoid of emotion although Neji could see there was a slight bit of irritation in those green depths. It had only taken him a month or so to figure Gaara out; all one had to do was look into his eyes. If not that, one only needed to listen; the Kazekage was an incredibly blunt person and had no qualms with conveying his thoughts – whether you agreed with them or not. "When I initially presented the plan to offer sanctuary and citizenship to Hyuuga-san it was specifically stated that they would also be offered a position in the shinobi ranks should they choose to take advantage. This is the third time Hyuuga Neji's request has been denied; I would like a proper explanation as to why."
Said Hyuuga was standing before a board of council members and the Kazekage. Apparently, white eyes tended to creep these individuals out, many of the members refused to look at him, feeling uncomfortable. Kankuro was no real exception to this, except he had flat out told Neji he thought Hyuuga eyes were 'freakish'.
"I apologize for my brother's comment. It was rude and unnecessary." Gaara had said to Neji a few hours later. The two had shifted into somewhat of an easy camaraderie; every now and then the older male would visit the Kazekage's office if for nothing else but to help with paperwork. Not having any missions or anything to do was driving him a little crazy.
"Do not worry over it, I was not offended and it is not the first time I have heard those words."
There was a small silence as they both looked out over the village from the office balcony. It was a full moon and the wind was blowing, bringing about cool air. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the wind in his hair and the tranquility of the quiet desert night. When he opened them he started. Gaara was openly staring at him again; that same stare he had been getting for the past week now. He shifted uncomfortably, grateful that there was at least some distance between them.
"I find your eyes to be enchanting."
It took all of the training and self-discipline he had not to blush at that statement. It was so unnerving how open and blunt Gaara was about everything. "I…suppose." He turned so that he was fully facing the front, looking out over the village "They are merely eyes."
"Lying does not suit you, Hyuuga-san. If you truly believed that, you would not stare into mine so often."
"The invitation was extended to Hyuuga Hinata," one of the members spoke up "We were more than ready and prepared for one individual; having two is –"
"Inconsequential." The redhead cut off and Neji's brow almost rose when he saw Kankuro openly snicker. "Hyuuga Neji is her guardian; her protector. If she is to be accepted, he must be as well. Because of her situation he was specifically chosen to stay by her side. Furthermore, Konoha is not an enemy and finally, while Hyuuga Neji was not initially part of the equation, the proposition to include him for citizenship was approved. If he is an official Suna citizen, he can become a Suna shinobi, the laws are quite clear on this. He is not returning to Konoha after the child is born; he is a permanent resident. So I must again ask; why has his request been denied three times?"
The moment the council members left the room when the meeting was over Kankuro began laughing loudly "You know, every time you do that they always look so damn constipated at the fact that they have to give you what you want, I can never keep a straight face."
"They were merely trying to be difficult, although I suppose in their minds they have valid reasons." Slowly the Kazekage stood from his seat and the other two males followed suit "Allies can become enemies very quickly; having two potential enemies within the village makes them uneasy."
"Yes, but Konoha would never do such a thing," Neji defended "and if they did –"
"I am sure that as long as Tsunade or someone similar to her is Hokage your claims will be valid." He turned briefly to glance at Neji "But the reality of the situation is not always so optimistic. Not everyone who wishes to be a kage is virtuous or kind. Nor are many of them diplomatic and selfless. If the alliance falls, it will be on Konoha's end as long as I am Kazekage. Konoha should have the same worries should I ever step down or something happens to me."
Although he knew Gaara was right it still struck a chord with him. Even though it was no longer his home, he still loved his village and its people. "That is a rather pessimistic view, don't you think?"
Both Kankuro and Gaara looked at him strangely but it was Gaara who replied "It is a realistic view and as a kage, it is a view I cannot ignore."
Little else was said after that, or rather, Neji did not speak much. Kankuro and Gaara spoke, mostly Kankuro talking about whatever popped up in his mind. Neji knew he was being rather childish but a lot of it could be contributed to the fact that he was, indeed, homesick. While he did receive letters from his old teammates, he missed the forests and grass and rivers of his place of birth. He missed Gai and Lee's antics, he missed Tenten's soft exasperation with them as she looked at him to be the voice of reason. He even missed his family; his uncle and Hanabi although he had not heard from them at all. He missed going to his favorite teahouse, he missed everything. He had never seen himself as the sort of person to be sentimental but Suna's culture and atmosphere was completely different from his homeland and he had to admit both he and Hinata were still experiencing a bit of culture shock. It didn't help that he had ended up with absolutely nothing to do besides bother the Kazekage to help him in his office. He really wanted to go home, if just for a little bit, but he understood that their coming here had practically been exile. Oh, they hadn't said it right out but it had been implied that they shouldn't just come back unannounced or whenever they wanted. They were stuck here.
"Hyuuga-san." Neji shifted his gaze to find Gaara staring at him as they stood at the door to his office. Kankuro was nowhere to be found, had he left? How had he not noticed?
I need to get back into training and going on missions…being idle is beginning to drive me to distraction.
When Neji did not respond he was not pressed for one. Instead, Gaara opened the door and walked inside, heading once more for the balcony. When he saw the redhead jump gracefully from the banister up to the roof he paused. Whether or not he followed Gaara was up to him; the redhead went up to the roof nightly, it was routine. Briefly, he wondered if the Kazekage even cared whether or not Neji joined him. Of course, he knew the answer but he was feeling rather emotional and slightly irrational. A little disgusted with himself, he contemplated leaving but then hesitated, staring at the open balcony door. With a small sigh he walked inside and within seconds was up on the roof, walking over to stand beside the redhead a respectful distance away.
Gaara did not look at him, although that wasn't unusual. His arms were crossed as he looked out, bright green eyes missing nothing. They stood like that for a good five minutes before the Kazekage spoke.
"Hyuuga-san," he waited until he had Neji's attention "it would seem that I had inadvertently offended you." His gaze shifted slightly but it seemed to speak volumes to the observant Hyuuga. He was nervous, why? "Although I am a political figure I find that sometimes I am not…very sociable. I did not mean to imply anything negative about Konoha."
Looking away, Neji sighed, crossing his arms "You have done nothing wrong, Kazekage-sama; you were not incorrect. I did not mean to seem irritable, especially when you have done so much for me today. I apologize for my ungrateful actions." His smile was depreciative "I am also not a very social person, do not concern yourself with my feelings."
"Why?" he sounded genuinely perplexed "Your feeling are important to me."
"I –" the Hyuuga turned, staring with barely concealed shock at the Kazekage. Gaara was unrepentant, however, his expression was as blank as always. I am reading into this; he has mentioned before that bonds were important to him, he is referring to me as a friend and nothing more.
Over the past few months Neji had felt increasingly uncomfortable around Gaara, mostly because the redhead was not at all trying to hide the fact that he found him to be intriguing. He was about as subtle as Uzumaki Naruto was quiet; it just wasn't his thing. He had always expressed his feelings and had never had the sort of social contact that would have taught him what to say and what not to say to others. He was an extremely logical and level headed individual but a lot of it was simply because he was so upfront with anything and everything. He had nothing to hide. The Hyuuga didn't know how to feel about it; mostly because for one, they were both male. He had never been attracted to the same sex or, now that he thought about it, the opposite sex. He'd always had other things on his mind.
But ever since that first day Neji had felt something strange whenever he regarded Gaara. There was something about him that felt almost magnetic and that pull somewhat frightened him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to have romantic feelings for anyone, much less a kage.
He nearly jumped when he felt something warm at his hand. Even though he was taller than Gaara it certainly didn't feel like it at that moment. He was close, very much so, and there was slight confusion in his gaze, as if he didn't quite understand why Neji seemed so stiff and distant. Pale eyes flickered down to the very loose hold the redhead had on his hand. Gaara's skin was incredibly soft, almost impossibly so. It wasn't as if he had been injured often, or even touched for that matter. The fact that he was making the first move was shocking, so much so that all Neji could do was stare when the other moved closer.
"I do not know why," his voice was as soft as always, like a gentle caress "but ever since you have arrived here I have felt something strange. It confused me at first and so I decided to investigate this feeling. When I spoke to my siblings they…"
He cut himself off when their gazes locked. The brunette's breath hitched and he felt as if he were drowning in an intense sea of green that was the Kazekage's eyes. The grip on his hand tightened slightly as he pulled himself closer. Neji began to feel panicked and backed into a corner. He wanted to leave; he was uncomfortable and this wasn't right. There was the fact that they were both male and then the fact that Gaara was a kage while he was anything but.
Smoothly, Neji slid his hand from Gaara's and tilted his head to the side before their lips could brush. The redhead took a step back but the brunette didn't even turn to see the look on the other's face, he merely said a polite 'excuse me' and walked away.
xxxxx
"You know," Kankuro crossed his arms and gave the very pregnant Hinata a look "you don't have to purchase this dinky little house. We have plenty of room at the compound."
His cousin actually sighed irritably and Neji had to keep from chuckling. Her temper had gotten short as of late due to being so close to delivery. Her stomach was rather large and her short height didn't help matter. Her breasts…well she was definitely having back problems. Her feet were constantly swollen and she felt stiff and awkward with the extra weight that she'd never had before. Needless to say, her hormones were out of whack and sometimes it showed.
She gave Neji a long suffering look before turning back to Kankuro "Neji-niisan and I both agreed that a small house would be fine. It'll only be the three of us. I've lived in a huge compound all of my life and it always felt impersonal. I don't want that." Her tone suggested any further complaints would result in something unpleasant happening.
Not used to this more aggressive Hinata, Kankuro shrugged and let out an irritated noise "Do whatever you want." He walked with them inside, taking in the interior. It was a very simple house, unfurnished although that would be fixed within a day or so. Excited, Hinata began to waddle around, a hand on her full stomach as she explored her own little house.
"She's such a housewife." Kankuro muttered as she walked into an empty bedroom and Neji could only smirk in agreement. Although she had more than proven herself, Hinata had not been a person made for combat. Her soul was gentle and she was very caring, she was also quite motherly when she wanted to be.
Soon the house would be filled with noise, baby and otherwise. Neji was off of missions for the next few months so that he could be around for the birth – which was anytime between a few weeks to a few days – and to help her adjust herself to motherhood. He had even learned to cook.
A part of him was nervous but another part was excited. Even though the child wasn't his, the two cousins had become very close; a lot of it having to do with the fact that it was just the two of them. He had stayed with her often, discussed baby names and training regimes. He had even felt the baby kick and that had just been…there were no words. He didn't want to admit it but he began to almost see the child as his; he'd been around since almost the beginning of her pregnancy and had experienced all of the joys and woes it brought. He felt incredibly close to his cousin now, much more than he ever would have thought possible.
"Hey," Neji turned to face Kankuro who was giving him a strange look "what's up with you and my brother anyway?"
"Excuse me?" frowning, the Hyuuga shook his head slightly "There is nothing. Why do you ask?"
He continued to receive the look "Because you guys were really close in the beginning, always hanging out and stuff, then all of a sudden one day you just stopped. You two get into a fight or something?"
Having been around for almost eight months now, Neji had a decent understanding of Kankuro's mental functions. He wasn't asking just to ask, something of significance happened to make the older brother suspicious "No, we did not get into a fight. I have been busy with missions and being around for Hinata-sama."
He had no intention of speaking about Gaara in any sort of manner concerning attraction or intimacy. Both made him feel very uncomfortable and out of sorts. He hadn't thought about it in a while, mostly because Gaara was very good at keeping himself busy and avoiding people he wanted to avoid. Since Neji was also avoiding the redhead they did not see each other at all. Not that he didn't think about Gaara, he did constantly, he just was able to discard it and not think of the implications and discomfort.
Hinata emerged then, looking quite beyond herself, then waddled over to the far side of the house where the laundry room was. He would have gone to follow her to get away from the confrontation he knew was coming but alas, Kankuro put a hand on his shoulder, effectively halting his progress. When the grip became almost painful veins began to emerge around white eyes and he inclined his head slightly to the puppet master.
"Force will not gain my compliance." It was a clear warning and he received a scowl.
"I'm not trying to force you, but he's my little brother and while it might not have seemed a big deal to you, it definitely fucked with him."
Irritated, Neji pushed the other man's arm away "Kankuro, what are you talking about?"
"You rejected him." Neji's only response was to blink and he sighed "He didn't say it in so many words but he came to me and Temari about you and then all of a sudden you two aren't speaking any more. Look, the guy hasn't had a lot of happiness in his life alright? It's kind of awkward, knowing he's crushing on another guy, but as long as he's happy, we don't care."
"You seem to be implying that I return his feelings when I have given no implication or said anything of the sort."
He was given a really funny look before it turned into a scowl "Yeah, guess you're right. Forget it then." Waving a hand dismissively he flashed Hinata a flirty smile when she walked up to them "I gotta go, mission and all that. Don't pop the kid out without me, alright?"
She wrinkled her nose at him and he laughed, his second wave a bit more genuine. Shaking her head she looked up at Neji and started at his irritated look.
"Neji-niisan?" her question seemed to drive him from his thoughts and he looked at her, although the irritation was still there "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He said tersely and turned to leave "It is nothing at all."
xxxxx
He was beautiful, Neji had never seen a more beautiful child in his entire life. Currently, the mother was resting as the infant lay in his crib, white eyes wide open and squirming around. The boy, who Hinata named Okojo, was only a few weeks old but he already seemed highly intelligent. Tiny hands rose, opening and closing into little fists. He didn't make a sound, in fact he was a very quiet baby. He only cried when he needed something and the moment it was taken care of he was quiet, almost solemn. His eyes took in everything with almost a calculated interest and he absolutely loved his mother and him.
He lowered his hand down into the crib and smiled fondly when the child took his index finger into his hand, gripping tightly. Was this how fathers felt when they looked at their sons? Whenever he looked at the boy he felt a surge of pride and warmth. He wanted to protect this small life and knew he would do anything to accomplish that goal. The moment they had given him the newborn after Hinata had given birth he had known that was it; he had fallen in love with the boy was if he were his own.
Of course he clearly wasn't; besides the eye color Okojo looked nothing at all like a Hyuuga. If anyone had held any doubt about Uchiha Itachi being the father all one would have to do was look at the child; Okojo was definitely his. That didn't matter to Neji, all that mattered was loving and protecting the fragile life that was looking up at him with complete trust.
The sensation of chakra near the house had him activating the Byakugan and Neji blinked in slight surprise. It was the Kazekage and his sister. Not wanting them to disturb Hinata's well deserved rest he walked up and opened the door before they could enter. Temari stared blankly at him, her hand having been raised to knock.
"Hinata is asleep and I sensed you coming." He said quickly in explanation "You are here to see the baby?"
"If that's alright." Temari tilted her head as if she'd be able to instantly see the infant from the door "Sorry to stop by unannounced; some meetings fell through for Gaara so I told him he should finally stop by and visit.
With a small nod he stepped to the side and allowed them in. He kept his gaze away from the redhead and Gaara did not spare him a glance. While he knew it was hypocritical, the gesture stung a bit.
I don't have time for this. There is Okojo now and Hinata-sama needs me. I do not have the luxury of being distracted.
"Oh, Gaara look, isn't he just adorable?" Temari was grinning from ear to ear at the baby who was smiling slightly at her, big white eyes wide with curiosity. Gaara stood on the other side of the crib, his expression blank as he regarded the little boy. "Can I hold him?"
Neji shook his head "I'd rather you didn't. Hinata-sama has been rather overprotective of him, I do not wish to upset her."
This earned him a look but she shrugged and turned back to the baby, obviously no longer interested in Neji.
"Are you hungry or thirsty?" he offered, wanting to be a good host "We do not have much, I have yet to go and buy groceries, but there is –"
"We already ate." That time was Gaara. Their gazes locked for only a moment before the redhead looked away, his attention back on the child. Once again he felt uncomfortable, but it was a different kind.
There was a coldness there that hadn't been there before. It wasn't hostile, simply completely and totally indifferent. He found himself thinking back on Kankuro's words and how much they had bothered him.
He didn't know why he felt so uncomfortable around Gaara, only that he did. He knew there was a vague attraction but for some reason his mind kept wanting to reject the thought. Was it just because they were both men? It seemed like such a hollow reason and if he were honest with himself the entire situation was beginning to wear on him emotionally. He was going to be living here for the rest of his life; avoiding the Kazekage – the very man who gave him his missions – was pointless. Did it even matter anymore? Gaara had looked completely closed off, perhaps he was no longer interested.
This is frustrating.
Irritated, he excused himself and went to the kitchen to make some tea. Hinata would probably wish to be awakened soon and he always liked ensuring she had a cup waiting for her should she want it.
Minutes later the two siblings exited the room, heading for the door. They were leaving already? "Leaving so soon?" he walked out of the kitchen to open the door for them. Temari shrugged.
"Yeah, we don't want to take up too much of your guys' time. Tell Hinata when she's feeling up to it to stop by with the baby. Oh, and we got some gifts for her, want us to send it?"
Neji shook his head "No, I can come and pick them up, you do not need to go out of your way for us."
Temari laughed a bit and excused herself by walking out. Once more the redhead glanced at him briefly and once again those bright green eyes seemed dull, devoid of emotion. It was almost as if he was guarding himself from Neji. It was not a comforting thought. He missed the person whose eyes were constantly shining with emotion, even when his face was completely blank. He missed the pleasant silences, he missed looking out at the village at night with him. He felt all of these things and yet he kept pushing him away…why?
"Thank you for your hospitality." Was all he said and then he left leaving the Hyuuga very confused and very upset.
xxxxx
Okojo liked taking things apart. The more complicated the object was, the better. How he kept getting a hold of screwdrivers was anyone's guess, Hinata had tried hiding them in at least ten different locations in the house. The eighteen month old was rather resilient and was already talking, although only a few words here and there. He was highly intelligent and had a penchant for messing with Kankuro's puppets. Needless to say, Okojo was no longer allowed anywhere near Kankuro's room or workshop.
Today he had found a rather complicated-looking clock in the Kazekage's office and had somehow gotten a hold of it and a screwdriver. Springs, nails and parts were all spread out in neat little piles as the young boy continued to dismantle anything else he could. And so he was found like this by Neji and all he could do was groan and put a hand over his face.
"Papa!" his face lit up upon seeing Neji and he could not help but to smile, walking over to pick him up. Okojo wasn't terribly fond of this as he was still trying to gut the clock but one look at his 'father' and he knew the gig was up.
"You know, you can't keep taking apart Kazekage-sama's clocks." The boy tilted his head curiously but Neji wasn't fooled. He knew Okojo understood every word he was saying "People like being able to tell the time.
Where was Hinata anyway? Or Temari, or hell, even Gaara? No one was in here. He supposed they could all be out looking for the boy. Okojo was already proving to be good at hiding; it usually took someone a good thirty minutes or more of searching before being able to find him and almost always in the most obscure locations.
With a sigh he adjusted the child on his hip and bent down to pick up the remnants. He gave the boy another stern look "You really do need to stop this." When the boy only continued to look at him blankly he smiled and shook his head. It was too difficult to stay angry or upset with him for long. Lightly kissing his forehead he set the toddler down.
"I see you found him."
Turning, Neji spotted the Kazekage who was just now walking through the door "We were looking everywhere for him." He spied the neatly organized guts of his clock on the floor and a ghost of a smile emerged "He found the more recent one."
"Ah. I apologize, I'll make sure to clean it up –"
The redhead shook his head, walking towards his desk "Do not concern yourself with it."
Nothing more was said and when Gaara continued to keep his back to him Neji readjusted Okojo on his hip and politely excused himself.
xxxxx
"Hinata-sama…I…need some advice."
His cousin looked up at him while she tried to brush her son's hair. Said son was being slightly fussy about it, for he wanted to do it himself and his mother wouldn't let him. After a moment she finally relented and the boy began happily brushing his hair in a rather haphazard manner, but it was being brushed nonetheless.
"What is it, Neji-niisan?"
How to explain it? "I…" he sighed and sat down on their sofa, motioning for her to bring the boy to him. She did and he happily sat on his father's lap, done with brushing his hair and was now trying to brush Neji's. Untying his hair he pulled some over his shoulder and let the boy go to town. "I shall simply be frank about it. For the past almost two years I have been strangely attracted to the Kazekage." She blinked widely at him and he sighed again "At the same time being around him in any sort of intimate manner is highly uncomfortable. For one, we are both males, but for some reason this does not bother me as much. He approached me but I rejected him and since then I have been unhappy. We ignore each other but that…I do not want that."
Sitting down beside him she put a hand on his knee "What do you want Neji-niisan?"
He frowned "You are not upset?"
"Um, you mean about the fact that you're both men?" when he nodded she shook her head "No…why? Should it matter?" she looked genuinely confused which did not at all make Neji feel any better about his situation. Kankuro had also been confused as to why gender should matter and he knew Temari probably felt the same way. Was he the only one dwelling on it?
"Nothing…I suppose. I…do not like the situation. It is not as if I can avoid him, he gives me my missions and he visits from time to time. Whenever I see him he is cold and distant, not at all like when we first arrived. Initially the two of us spent a lot of time together. We never spoke much but that did not seem necessary. I thoroughly enjoyed his company, I liked being around him. We did not speak because we did not need to speak but yet the closer we became the more uncomfortable I felt."
When he didn't continue she leaned back on the couch "Are you asking me what I think you should do?"
"I…I don't know. All I know is that every time he looks at me like that it hurts and it is getting to a point where I am not sure if I can take it any longer. I have never felt like this before and…"
"Um, well, it sounds like you're afraid of your feelings." At his confused gaze she shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to word herself "You've never really been as close to someone as you were uncle and when you love someone it's a really strong bond, almost like the one I had with my mother and you with uncle. M-maybe you're afraid of being hurt. Um, and then there's the fact that he's the Kazekage. It'd bring a lot of attention to you and well…"
Hyuuga didn't like attention. They wished to be in the light but that did not mean they wanted to be seen. Their clan was very rigid in their structure, they were prestigious in a silent way. Things like affection and strong emotions were to be coveted, not displayed. There would be scrutiny; while friends and family probably would not care, the council and perhaps even the villagers might be concerned about their Kazekage taking a male lover.
And that was all he would be. A lover. Hearing the word made him think of the term 'mistress' and that he was not fond of. Mistresses were just there; the person on the side. That didn't sit well with him. He wanted to mean something to whoever he decided to become involved with.
"Um, Neji-niisan?" he looked at her and she gave him a concerned look "I think…you not being with Gaara-sama is hurting you more than being with him. I haven't said anything but…"
He gave her a small smile "Do not trouble yourself with it, Hinata-sama. Thank you for the advice, I will take it to heart. I have a mission tomorrow. Perhaps I will have time to think on it more and maybe come to some sort of conclusion for this once and for all. It will be a three day mission, will you be alright?"
She nodded "Please be careful Neji-niisan."
The next day Neji left on his three day mission. He was brought back three weeks later.