Title: Dear Diary

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: Okay, you know what? I do own this. I own all of this. It's all mine and I'm only sharing from the goodness of my heart. And by the way, Alec is all mine, too. And I'm not sharing him anymore. So there.

Just kidding :(

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: K+, just in case

Synopsis: Someone knows a lot more than they should about our favorite transgenics. But who is it and how do they know? Get a lot of insight on what exactly has gone down from the beginning.

A/N: Keep in mind that I don't actually like Logan- I'm still usually nice to him in my fics, but as a general rule I don't actually like him. I make no promises for how (or if) he'll be making it out of this one. Also, I'll be changing a few things around but I will basically keep to the script- poetic license and all that jazz. Finally, extra credit to whomever can figure out first what other fic of mine this is related to.

The Program

"Are you sure you're alright with this?"

"Honey, it's a great honor that they're asking you to participate, right?"

"Well, yeah. But-"

"Plus, this isn't just going to help them. We're getting what we want out of it, too, right?"

"Well, yeah, but it's not like I couldn't eventually come up with a solution myself. I have a couple of ideas that really seem to be panning out."

"I know sweetie. And I know that you could totally fix everything for us, but why not let them do it since they've already come up with a remedy that has worked for other women?"

"Yeah. I know it makes sense. I don't know why I'm hesitating. I mean, it sounds as though it's everything we've been looking for, and free to boot. It's just that... I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right."

"Well, if you don't want to do it, we can just say no. We don't have to do things the easy way if you don't want to. I know how much you like to figure everything out yourself," she teased.

With a self-deprecating grimace, "Okay, okay. I get it. But it really isn't my ego, you know."

"Reeeeally," she smirked. "It isn't because you're the most brilliant person in the world and they want your genes to improve their little science experiments and you just don't want to share, huh?"

"Second most brilliant person in the world."

"Second?" her adorable little eyebrow rose.

"Next to you."

Her lips pursed sarcastically, "Whatever. You with your 452 I.Q. You're well-aware that you make everyone else look like they're in preschool while you're graduating with honors."

"Oh, I don't know about that." With an arm slung over her shoulder, "There are definitely times when you can outdo me."

She bit her lip seductively and winked, "Well, maybe in the looks department, which I'm just fine with."

Making a face, "Yeah, just like that. I totally set myself up for that without even realizing it, and you were much quicker than me and took me up on it."

"You know I was just kidding. You know I think you're the most handsome man in the whole world."

Looking up at my doubtful face, she walked over to me and put her arms around me, "It's true. I couldn't even imagine finding another man attractive."

"Well, then I guess we'll have to join their little program. Looks like ours shouldn't be wasted."

She smiled up at me, "Can you imagine how adorable our kids are going to be?"

"No matter how cute they wind up, they'll never be able to outshine their mother," I said before bending down to meet her lips.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Okay, so you probably didn't want or need to know all of the details, but I wanted you to know why we did what we did. Looking back, I can see how horribly flawed our logic was and what we should have said to them. But we didn't understand back then.

So, I'm sorry that it's been a few days since I wrote. I know that when I give this to you, it won't really matter that I wasn't able to get back to this, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to get this to you soon, and the longer it takes to put it all together, the longer it's going to take to give it to you.

Work's been a bear lately. I had to fire this guy that I really, really didn't want to fire because he was doing something illegal. And the last thing that I can take a chance on is having the popos checking out my business. It's not just me that I'm protecting when I try to avoid getting governmental attention- I have some very precious "things" to protect, and I will never do anything, or stop from doing anything, to protect them. But, the result of firing him was that his co-workers got pissed at me, which I hate. I hate it when they're mad at me- I mean really mad, not the boss-man's-making-us-work kind of mad. 'Cause that kind of mad is kind of a game between us. It's when they honestly think that I'm a horrible person that I can't stand. Like when they thought that I wouldn't help out with Theo's remains money. It wasn't that I wouldn't have helped out- in fact, it's not like that much money was a big thing for me. It was that I was still reeling from his death and that I was wondering how some of his co-workers were dealing with it and that threw my focus off just long enough for it to, I guess, seem that I was reluctant to pay. Actually, that's not entirely true. I was actually a little reluctant to pay, but not because of the amount of money and not because I didn't care about Theo. I was reluctant because I have this whole reputation/character dog-and-pony show that I put on to cover up who I really am, and I'm scared of letting people see the real me. I'm scared of dropping the charade because then the real me is open to rejection. And I'm scared to death of having people question whether the me that they see is the real me or not because if too much truth about me came out, it could open another person to questions. And I couldn't live with being the person who put that person into danger.

So, anyway, all my employees got pissed at me, and they did this whole slow down deal. Then, this great guy showed up. Exactly the type of guy that I've been hoping would show up. My Golden Boy- only as much as I liked him, he never quite fit the bill. He wasn't smart-alecky enough. But I could still tell that he was special, you know in that specific "special" kind of way that means that he's either an angel in disguise or an agent of the devil itself. I made a point of hooking him up with the right co-worker, but then somehow it didn't work out. He disappeared. Took his packages with him, too. I wonder what happened there. I hope he's okay- I would love to have him show up again. It would be kind of fun to have two of them here- as long as it didn't endanger the first. After all, the first's safety is my primary concern.

Anyway, it's time to get back to my explanation. See, we thought it would work out. They promised us that she would be able to get pregnant and that it would be a healthy pregnancy. They said that they'd had success with individuals in our situation before. They said that the baby (and mother) would be healthy and that they would leave our family alone except for yearly tests that they would want to do just to insure that everybody was still doing well. They promised us the cure to all our problems at very little cost to us- just a little of my DNA they said. And we were so focused on what we wanted that we didn't even realize that we were making a deal with the devil.

So, that's how we got involved. We let our desires blind us to the kinds of people we were working with, and at first everything seemed to be going really well. I worked it into the contract that our child would be made with both of our DNA, which they didn't have a problem with although they demanded that they add other people's too. So, they created this cocktail- they didn't tell us what exactly was in it except that my DNA was included in it (they actually seemed pretty happy about that) and they took one of her eggs and popped the whole deal into some kind of tube where they surgically combined everything. That way they could make sure that it took before inserting the fetus into her. Meanwhile, they operated on her to clean her out as much as they could and put her on a medication schedule to prepare her for placement. Trust me, it wasn't always fun to be around her with all the mood swings and sickness the pills created, but they said that the medications were to simulate pregnancy so that the body would be able to take care of our child. With that preparation, the surgery, and the fact that they would be keeping the child in safe laboratory conditions until the most dangerous stage was over, they expected a 97 percent likelihood of successful delivery. We were so happy that we didn't ask many questions- maybe we were afraid of the answers.

We decided to pretend that she was actually pregnant so that we could experience everything that other expecting parents did. We became so excited we could hardly see straight. We got to play the part of proud almost-parents and announced that we were expecting to everybody who would listen. We got the nursery ready and even put our baby on the waiting list for the best preschool on the continent. It became impossible to walk through a clothes store without stopping in the baby's section- checking to see if there were any new toys or supplies, wishing we knew the sex so that we could buy this or that adorable outfit. I even bought a little pitcher's glove- I didn't care if it was going to be a boy or a girl, it was going to be able to do any sport it wanted. The only thing that was missing was the lump- she couldn't wait to be "forced" into wearing maternity clothes. The day that they put our baby into her was one of the happiest of our lives, and I secretly loved that she would only be pregnant for a few months because that meant that she would be in less discomfort than other women.