Special thanks to guest for my first review (I'm glad you like it!) and to Notyouraverageloser-chan for letting me know how to make it better! I didn't realize that my line breaks were deleted when I uploaded to FFN... Probably should've checked! Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

By the way, I have absolutely no plans and I'll be making stuff up as I go along...

Enjoy!

My Switcher™ had misfired! The stupid machine was supposed to send me into that buffoon Knuckles's body (I did not acknowledge who designed the flawed device, of course)! I couldn't dwell on that forever, though; I had better things to do. Just then, I felt something cold being held to the back of my head; I jumped out of my thoughts.

"Gee, someone's jumpy today! It's just an ice pack," my intended target commented.

"So it is…" I returned to my thoughts and let Knuckles tend to my 'injury,' despite me having 'better things to do.' I finally wondered whose body and - more importantly - brain I had transferred my mind to. Although I was still dazed, a basic recovery from the transfer took almost no time. I was rather concerned because that meant they had the potential to be very intelligent, like myself. None of Sonic's friends immediately crossed my mind as intelligent, though (in my dazed state, at least).

As soon as the echidna removed his oversized mitts from my head, I looked down. I saw white and orange fur and two fluffy tails. I was then seeing red.

"How's that feel, Tails?"

Tails. Tails? TAILS! OUT OF SONIC'S SIXTY-SEVEN AND A HALF FRIENDS, WHY, WHY HIM? WHY THE ONLY ONE OUT OF THAT FLOCK OF FLEA-RIDDEN FREAKS WHO COULD CONCEIVABLY DESTROY THIS PLAN? I was barely trembling on the outside, despite my rage inside. I have dreams about Sonic, BUT I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT TAILS! AND NOW THAT HE HAS ACCESS TO MY RESOURCES… I'm dead… I… Unlike Sonic, Tails has no reason to keep… to keep me… alive… I'm d-

"Yo! Tails! What's wrong?" I was once again snatched from my thoughts. Sonic's worried face was level with mine and his hand was on my shoulder. He shook me slightly as he spoke.

Heheh... I almost forgot! Sonic will keep me safe! There's nothing Tails can do that I can't!

"I… I need rest," I lied. "I'm just dizzy…"

"No, you look like you need to see a doctor or something…" He turned around and knelt down. "Hop on!"

"No - I'm fine - I just-"

"Get on."

He was worried. In my current state of mind, I didn't have the will to argue. I did as he said clumsily (because it was my first big motion in this body). I wrapped my arms, legs, and… tails… around him and he sped off.

x-x-x

How? How does he do it, I contemplated. How does he move so swiftly in this body? In such poor shape?

The answer never came to me. I decided that I would exercise every day, but I had things to do before that. I was hungry, so I began to search for a refrigerator. Eventually, I came across a large area that resembled a lounge. There was a large television that covered the entire wall that it was mounted on (and it occured to me that Eggman had probably threatened many cable companies for his channels). Several service robots entered and exited the room. I approached one.

"Excuse me, where is the kitchen?" The robot stared confusedly. It eventually replied, apparently running a poorly designed AI program.

"Would you like… Ham, eggs, sausage, bacon, grits, toast, biscuits, and/or hashbrowns?" I sighed, but answered anyway.

"Um… Eggs and sausage, please."

"Word 'please' not recognized. Please repeat."

"Uh… You just said 'please,'" I pointed out.

"Command not recognized." I sighed once again and revised my order.

"Eggs and sausage… Half serving…" It was painful not to say please - I had been raised to do so. The next thing I would do is reprogram the robots to require me to say please.

"To maintain a healthy egg shape, you must eat full servings. Are you sure you would like a half serving?"

"Yes." Without response, the robot turned to leave, but I waddled after it. It led me directly to the kitchen, as I expected, and began using its specialized limbs to prepare my breakfast. As it was doing so, it retrieved a stick of butter. In consideration of "my" health, I took the butter away as it made the motion to cut it. Apart from that, I let it make my food in peace.

I decided to entertain myself by searching the contents of Eggman's refrigerator. Before I could do so, however, a voice recording began to play, apparently reading aloud the note that was attached to it.

"It has occurred to me that you probably can't read, so I leave this voice recording... Ahem...

Dear Knuckles,

I knew you would find the refrigerator sooner or later, so I leave this message here! Below you will find instructions on how to maintain this glorious, egg-shaped image. If you do not follow these instructions and allow my body to lose its glory, there will be consequences. In return, I shall leave your body as it was before. Now, then:

From the service robots, order one full serving of "the usual" every meal (6AM, Noon, and 6PM), even if you are not hungry.

Order 1½ servings if you're especially hungry.

Order "extra fat" while your weight is below 136.4kg.

Do not order 1½ servings while your weight is above 142kg.

Exercise 5-10 minutes every day with exercise machine set to "default" to maintain health.

Use a quarter-sized amount of conditioner on each side of the mustache and comb it thoroughly every morning.

In the refrigerator, there are some syringes and doses of insulin. Every night, inject one dose of insulin into the spot marked with an 'X' on my belly. Make sure there are NO BUBBLES or you could die.

When I am back, we will return to our own bodies. I will assess how well you have followed these instructions. Again, if my image is not adequately maintained, there will be consequences. Also, there is no use attempting to escape my base; it is reinforced with the strongest alloy and can only be opened via password - and it would take a genius to hack it! HO HO HO HO HO!

Sincerely,

Dr. Eggman

You can bring this recorder with you and press the play button: the one with a triangle on it (a triangle is the shape with three sides). Actually, I'll draw a picture of what the play button looks like on the bottom of the paper. I've left recorded instructions around the base on how to operate the treadmill and scale. Good luck!"

I was laughing my lungs out! I could only imagine Knuckles's reaction to this! After I calmed down, I put the recorder in one of Eggman's oversized coat pockets.

"I'm no rule-breaker, but…" I let out a hearty laugh, imitating Eggman perfectly. "Time to break some rules!"

So! How'd you like it? If you did, please leave a review - I don't care if it's just one word, I just need to know! If there's something I need to improve on, please let me know; this is all about you guys, so just tell me how to make it more to your liking and I'll certainly do it!

Until next chapter!