3/5/10

Side effects.

The most grueling thing I've faced in my stay here in Tatsumi.

Everyone forgotten about SEES and what we worked hard to prevent. While some connections stayed like Junpei and Yukari, others won't give a second glance. Mitsuru, Fuuka, Akihiko, none of them looks at us more than underclassmen. Aigis runs away when I get near, like I'm the plague. Yet, I'm the only one to retain the tribulations we've fought through. I can't tell anyone else or they'd think I cracked.

...

What a cruel twist.

It's March fifth, graduation day. The last day I can stay here and be alive. The past weeks were struggles, oversleeping to maintain my worsening condition. My eyes look ready to close at any moment if I have a lapse in concentration. My energy's siphoned away with every second, I don't know my limit but it's near.

I tried to visit the velvet room, to give an adieu to Igor and Elizabeth.

But it's gone, leaving a back alley. Tartarus' gone and so is the other entry.

I rest at my desk, my arms supporting my head while looking out the window. The same butterfly I've noticed back when I moved here's leaving my line of sight.

"...I wonder..."

A knock comes to the door, disrupting my thoughts. I questioned who it may be. Everyone should be off to the ceremony ny now.

"It's me, Aigis."

Aigis?

"Can I please come in?"

To not be at the ceremony piqued my interest but not enough to think twice on it. I open my door, obliging her request. I'm glad to be in her presence once again.

"I apologize on my abrupt appearance but I must speak with you." Despite her robotic figure, she holds onto her chest tightly, worrying if the next few words would bring severe damage. Her eyes avoid meeting mine.

"Everyone's forgotten, everyone. SEES, Dark Hour. Who Ryoji was...even me..." Her voice tapers off at the end and now looks at the ground, trying to construct another sentence.

"I'm scared, I'm unsure what would happen to you, if you would leave once again like the last battle."

That's when it hit me.

She suffered too. I haven't consider what she's feeling. I've been focused on myself the whole time and not realizing Aigis' effected in the same way.

Did she run away to avoid knowing if I've forgotten too? Did she not want to face facts?

I tried seeking words for comfort, to ensure such a fate won't happen again. A robot conveying human emotions. She's not at terms to this development yet I see it, another living soul talking to me.

I can not speak. This...vehicle my soul travels in can't last and it's sinking in tar, trying to consume me whole. My words are sinking as well.

"Aigis"

I extend an arm out to her shoulder, looking into her eyes. It fills every fiber in me to not lie, to explain what would come shortly of me.

"That won't happen."

But I couldn't.

I couldn't bear to see her suffer more. To lie to myself and her, what a cruel position I'm in. I force a smile on my behalf, one of the few times where I've truly meant to bring joy to someone else. Aigis looks up, looking relieved but avoiding a smile, knowing it's only us two.

My words were successful, even if they were sugar coated on a wish never coming true. She looks determined.

"Graduation's today." Changing the topic, she continues. "We made a promise, remember?"

The promise I made an effort to keep and what's leaving me here still. I nod to the question.

"Let's go together, maybe the others will recall our promise." I thought I'd be alone, void of friends, keeping a foolish promise only I remembered and all forgotten. To sit in misery, witnessing the bonds created rot away. I would have preferred to die there back then. But my resolve wouldn't allow a quick death, I made a request worth keeping. To have someone close made me not regret the exhaustion I've put myself through.

To have someone close made me not regret the path I've put myself through.