So I've decided to make this into either a 3 or 5 part story, depending on how long it gets. I had asked on my tumblr ( .com) what one shot you wanted expanded and this is the winner (I had a feeling lol). So here's part two!
6 months later
"Do you accept?"
The man sitting behind the desk in front of me is smiling, and all of his words indicate something good is actually happening here, but for some reason I am stuck in some kind of la la land where I know this is some kind of trick. It has to be, because if it isn't, that means I am actually being offered a job where I can use my degree. I was finally done with school, waiting tables, and basically just fucking around until the job market gods saw fit to reward me.
This job has a salary and insurance and a 401K. I'll have money…. Way more than I have right now. It will be the beginning of my actual real adult life, instead of this quasi after college dream I've been living in. I mean, I still want to live there, every day is fun and I'm with my friends, but now I'm not afraid I'll never escape it.
The only part of this whole thing that bothers me is how I can feel a singular thought nagging in the back of my brain, the one thought I shouldn't be having – how excited I am to tell him. I shake my head to rid it from its hold, and smile back.
"Yes, of course."
He grins even more largely at me, all of his teeth showing.
"Great! It will start in one month, which should give you plenty of time to get settled."
I smile knowingly.
"New office?"
His eyebrows rise slightly.
"No, in D.C.."
I deflate a little inside. Oh no. I'll have to leave. My entire life, with the exception of undergraduate school has been here in this town. We moved here when I was six, after my Dad died, and I came back after I graduated to get my masters here, instead of going somewhere else out of town. My family is here, my friends, Peeta… they are all here. But for some reason, when I respond to the unspoken question hanging in the air, I find I shock myself.
"That won't be a problem. Can you email me the salary and work details?"
Standing up to shake my hand, he nods enthusiastically.
"Yes, of course, and welcome to the firm Miss. Everdeen. We are excited to have you. You'll have a 5 day grace period to consider everything."
I smile but I feel a shiver run down my spine.
"Thank you so much Mr. Crane, I'm excited to be here."
After telling my Mom and Sister my news at our weekly family dinner, I make my way home. My nerves are jumpy and while I can pretend not to know the reason, I am in actuality so aware of it that it's turning me into a wreck. Thousands of questions fly through my brain. The funny part is, not a single one of them is concerned with Gale or Finnick's reactions. I know how they will react. They will be enthusiastic and loving and congratulatory. They'll have my apartment picked out and their first long weekend visit planned by the end of the night.
However, I have no idea how Peeta will react. You'd think after sleeping with him for more than half a year now I would know, but this dance we have been constantly at for the past few months has left him so unpredictable to me that it's maddening.
I hate myself for continuing on with it but I still do it regardless. All of my will power flies out of that damn window he's always leaving open the moment he smiles at me when it's just us, or when I think of how he wakes up before me the mornings after when he's stayed the night just to make coffee for my early morning runs. But we don't say anything, we don't talk about it, and our feelings are never a part of it. It's overwhelming and I'm letting it consume me.
The questions. Is it me? What is so wrong with me that he doesn't want me that way? He's always saying how he doesn't want to be in a relationship when I'm in the room with him, how much more direct could he be? How could I keep on doing something like this when I know it's killing me inside? How will he react? Will he at least be a little sad, will he feel like he's even losing anything more than just his friend? Or will he be right there with Gale and Finnick planning their first trip to visit? Which one will hurt me the least?
I'm so consumed by my minds racket that when I pull into my parking spot outside the apartment stairwells, I'm shocked to realize I'm at home. Taking a deep breath I turn off the car and collect my things before making my way up the stairs.
I open the door to hear Gale and Finnick arguing about "who the red head was hitting on" last night, while Peeta sits in a chair at the table smirking at the two of them. He sees me and smiles, his eyes glinting with amusement at our friends.
"Dude I'm telling you, she was eye fucking me last night. Not you." Gale is fairly worked up while Finnick is looking at him like he has just turned into a green alien.
"No, bro. That's that chick I fucked a few months back. At Glimmer's wedding. Remember?" Finnick calmly speaks to Gale, and that's how I realize he's goading him. We only use that tone with Gale when he acts like a child, and he knows it. It really sets him off into an even more exaggerated tantrum, the irony completely lost on him.
We are the worst friends sometimes.
Gale's eyes grow wide at Finnick's response and I have to stifle a laugh.
"Are you fucking kidding me? No fucking way. You never said you fucked someone at that wedding, and I know you're shitting me right now."
"Dude no I'm not, why would I lie about getting laid? I'm not like Peeta."
Gale laughs at this, while I feel every hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"What do you mean not like Peeta?" I ask, smiling at Finnick. He'll want me in on the joke too.
"Everytime we try to get Peet laid he always says he's "fine" and last night when we were out and we tried he said he was – and I quote – taken care of already. But he wouldn't tell us who he's nailing so I think he just made it all up."
"Yeah, that story sounds about as real as Finnick's wedding story." Gale huffs out and Finnick flashes a grin at me before turning on him once again. I turn my eyes towards Peeta, whose face is bright red.
Making my way over to the kitchen, I grab a pot and a spoon, banging loudly enough that Gale and Finnick stop yelling at each other.
"Jesus Fuck Katniss, what was that for?" Gale whines.
"I have some news that I want to share, and you two idiots are arguing about some girl that probably has herpes."
Peeta laughs at this as does Finnick. Gale rolls his eyes.
"On with it then." He finally says and I smile.
"I was finally offered a job today, for the Crane and Smith Consulting Firm. I'd be a consultant for environmental firms, yada yada yada, you guys know what I went to school for."
Finnick whoops and I grin.
"There is one thing though. It's um, in Washington D.C. It starts in a month, so I'd have to leave in 3 weeks."
The room goes silent for a few long moments. I hear Gale clap his hands.
"Well that means two things. First, we have to party really hard the next three weeks, because you have to take that job. Secondly, we need to find out what the bar scene is like in D.C. for when we all come to visit."
"Oh shit do you know where you're going to live?" Finnick asks and I shake my head, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt at how eager they are. Just like I had envisioned it.
"Well it's got to be some place good! I'll get my computer." He saunters off to his room and Gale follows. I smile in their direction for a moment before taking a breath to direct my stare elsewhere. I turn to look at Peeta, and find him staring at me, with startling intensity. Leaning back against the counter, I raise my eyebrow at him.
"So? What do you think?"
Instead of answering, he stands up and in four strides is right in front of where I lean.
"Are you not going to tell me?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. Instead of answering me, he grabs my wrist from the counter and tugs me backwards, towards my room. We make our way slowly, until we are in the room and he has shut the door.
"Peeta, are you even going to say anything? And what about Finnick and Gale? They're going to know what we are up to."
He finally stops his advance on me and speaks.
"I will. I will say something. But not right now. And fuck them, I don't care."
I don't have a chance to say anything before he has my back pressed against the wall, his mouth on mine. No matter what I had envisioned as his reaction it certainly wasn't this, but he has done things like this to me before.
The last time he wouldn't talk to me until after he had fucked me was when I had gone on a date my friend had set me up on. He had gotten so pissed under the pretense that I didn't even tell him I was going on a date that we hadn't talked in two days, and even after we fucked we hadn't talked about his show of possessiveness, not like how I had wanted.
Sensible thought would dictate to me that this time wouldn't be any different. He'll never say the things I want to hear from him, but instead of stopping him, I lift my right leg up to wind around his waist, pulling him closer.
He hands, which had been on either side of my head, make their way from the tops of my shoulders down to my wrist, and grabbing them he places them above my head. He grinds himself into me harder, and I whine. The hand not holding my wrists in place travels down to my "interview pants", making quick work of the thousands of buttons and zipper, allowing them to fall down my legs. I step out of them quickly, my underwear soon following.
When I try to move my hands to take his pants off he growls and bites down on my bottom lip, causing me to cry out. I hear him unzip himself and pull down his pants, pushing himself against me once he is free of them. I whimper at the feeling, and he finally withdraws his hold on my wrists, using both arms to hoist me up. My legs wrap around him, as my head hits a framed photo hanging on the wall causing it to crash to the ground, the sound of the glass breaking covering the sound of my moan when Peeta slams himself inside of me.
Pulling me a little further out so my back is resting against the wall but my torso is bent, he begins to fuck me like a madman. I meet him thrust for thrust, and soon I hear the echo of my grunts filling the room. When I feel him begin to come inside of me I follow, my toes tingling as they curl.
Peeta slowly lowers me down the wall and I unfurl my legs, stepping around him to flop down in my bed. He follows, lying down next to me on "his" side. After a few moments of catching our breaths, I hear him speak barely over a whisper.
"So, D.C. huh?"
Copying him I lie on my stomach and rest my face on my cheek, looking into his eyes.
"Yeah. D.C."
"Just like that?"
I feel anger bubble inside but I try to push it down.
"No. I am still considering. It's a great opportunity though."
He looks at me for a long moment before responding, his eyes somewhere in the distance.
"Yeah it is. Why are you even pretending to consider it?"
I furrow my brow. Does he think it's an easy choice?
"Peeta, of course I'm considering it. There are a lot of reason to take the job, sure, but there are reasons to not take it too."
He looks at me like I'm crazy.
"Katniss, what are you talking about. What reasons? Your family, your friends? We'll still be here won't we?"
I don't know why, but for some reason, the way he sounds or the tone he used declaring they would all still be here if I left, causes me to snap. How can he not know? Or how does he pretend so well that he doesn't know? It's now or never I suppose.
"Peeta, you have to know. You have to know why." I say it so softly I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hear me, but the look that flashes across his face tells me he did.
"Katniss… that's not…" He begins and I can't take it anymore. I shoot up and look at him with anger, but mostly sadness in my eyes.
"That's not what this is. I know."
He comes to sit next to me, his hands on my shoulders turning me towards him. He looks like he has something important to say and I hold my breath. He struggles for a moment, before dropping his head, his shoulders sagging.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."
Without a second thought (ok, well that's a lie), I get up off the bed and make my way towards the restroom.
"No need to apologize Peeta. I knew what this was. It's my fault." I shrug at him and smile, trying desperately to keep from fucking falling apart, closing the door behind me.
As I slide to the floor and lean against the door I can hear him dress and leave my room, and even though I can hear my friends laughing on the other side of the wall, I still somehow feel completely alone.