Chapter Two: The Issue of Underwear
A/N: Thank you for your wonderful feedback! Here's part two!
Sam blinked as consciousness rushed back to her. She inhaled and sat up sharply, flashes of color bursting across her vision. They were still in the two foot high grass, just further away from the Stargate—it looked like a tiny speck on the horizon. 'Okay, don't panic.' She thought as her heart rate increased. Her vest and weapons were gone. Interestingly enough, so were her shoes.
Quietly, she rose to her knees, eyes narrowed as she tried to find her teammates through the waving grass. About four feet to her left was a distinctly colonel-shaped indent in the grass. Quickly, she crawled to him and placed a soft, but restraining hand on his shoulder. He jumped and she leaned close. "Sir, it's me. Are you okay?"
Jack blinked twice before responding. "My shoes…"
"Yes, sir. Mine too."
"Ah."
"Sam! Jack! Teal'c!" Daniel whisper-shouted, getting to his knees.
"We're here." Sam whispered, helping Jack to his knees, her hands resting on his arms just a tad too long. "Teal'c?"
"I don't know." Daniel shrugged, looking around.
"You know, of all of you, I never thought it would be Teal'c that I lost in the grass." Sam and Daniel shot him identical looks and he shrugged one shoulder in response. "I thought, if anything, it'd be you." He indicated Sam with his chin, an amused gleam in his eye. "Cause, you know, you're small."
"I am not." Sam rolled her eyes. "I'm taller than average, thank you."
Daniel watched this exchange with a frown plastered on his face. They were being…almost playful. But his thoughts were interrupted by a bellow coming from the nearby tree line.
"Relinquish your hold on me!"
The three human members of SG-1 all exchanged meaningful looks. "Teal'c!" They shouted and, momentarily forgetting their relatively vulnerable position, bolted to the forest. Teal'c was tied to a tree, four or five little green men hopping all over him.
Automatically, Jack reached into his front pants pocket where the bottom of the fabric had been cut away for easier access to the knife he kept strapped to his thigh. Ignoring the surprised look on his second's face, Jack slashed at the ropes. The little men screeched and fell away as Teal'c stood and shook them from his body.
"Alright! Whoever—whatever—you are, quit it!" Jack yelled, turning in a circle trying to find them. But they blended too easily with the grass.
"Hey!" Sam's indignant shout drew his attention and he turned, just as little hands started tugging her over her head. A small expanse of her pale skin was bared before she yanked the material down, sending the offending creatures tumbling to the ground.
"Carter-!" Jack moved to help his second, when her eyes widened and her hands shot to her chest. Seeing the movement and look of horror on her face, Jack assumed the worst and ran for his major, hands grasping her shoulders. "Carter! Are you okay?" She just shook her head at him, mouth agape. "What happened? Where are you hurt?" The panic in his voice made Daniels turn from his own struggles.
"They…they unhooked my bra." Her voice was strained with disbelief and she refused to meet his eyes.
"What?" But before she could explain further, several tiny hands flattened against his back and he toppled over, taking Sam with him. At the last second, he twisted his body and she landed on top of him. From this position, Jack could tell that they had, indeed, unhooked her bra.
"Colonel!" Sam cried out, more out of concern than propriety's sake.
But Jack thought she was referring to the new situation developing…down south. "Sidearm!" He yelled.
"O'Neill!" Teal'c yelled, batting away the little creatures. They made small "oof" noises whenever his big hand made contact, but it didn't deter them. They just kept coming. And then, in the middle of the chaos, Daniel began to laugh. Big, body-shaking guffaws. Sam and Jack looked up at him from their half-kneeling position and Teal'c raised an eyebrow before turning back to the things surrounding them.
"Daniel, this is no time for jokes! We need to get back to the gate!" Jack yelled, standing and hauling Sam to her feet in one motion.
"We?" Daniel gasped in between snorts.
"Yes, we!" Jack shouted, spinning Sam around and lifting her shirt.
"Sir!" Sam yelled, clutching the hem. As many times as she might have pictured this moment, it hadn't ever happened like this. Nope. No, siree.
Jack ignored her and quickly grabbed at the bra closures. Except they weren't there. The back of the bra was intact. Had she lied?
"It's a front closure, sir." Sam mumbled.
"What?" Jack's eyes widened and he could feel the waves of heat that were suddenly between them.
"Wee, Jack, wee!" Daniel shouted as he doubled over with laughter.
"That is enough!" Jack yelled. In the span of ten minutes this mission had gone from botched to bonkers. Teal'c was playing whack-a-mole with the little men, Daniel had lost his mind, and Carter…well, he couldn't even look at her for fear of doing something she might hate him for later.
"No!" Daniel gasped, shaking with mirth. "Wee! As in wee little people! They're leprechauns, Jack!" One of the so-called leprechauns grabbed the glasses of his face and the laughter stopped so suddenly it was light a switch had been flipped.
A moment of silence followed, where Sam and Jack looked from Daniel to each other. Then they burst out laughing too. Teal'c, having succeeding in swatting most of them away from him, reached down and plucked up the one who was holding the glasses hostage. He silently held out his hand and when the leprechaun refused, he raised his eyebrow and tilted his head dangerously.
The tiny man squealed and relinquished the glasses before covering his own eyes. Teal'c made an inscrutable face, then dropped him.
"Aw, Teal'c!" Sam said, momentarily forgetting her own predicament. "He was scared."
"I do not believe so, Major Carter." Teal'c nodded toward the troublemaker who was indeed smirking up at the big man. Without warning, Teal'c stiffened and his eyes widened.
TBC