Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.
AU
GENDERBEND
OOC MOMENTS
And LOT'S MORE!
will be featured
Chapter 2
10. Church
Damien never went to Church. Then again, why would he? He, being the son of the devil, was a satanist, and HE didn't need a church to pray to his own father. Pip however, even after discovering the Truth about Mormonism, continued to go to Mass with his step-parents and step sister.
And this annoyed the crap out of the little Prince of Darkness, who felt like he was getting robbed of Pips attention. Because EVERYONE knew that despite the fact that Damien loathed people in general, he DID like getting attention.
And really Pip was his Consort! How dare he partake in something he knew his master hated!
What gall!
So one sunday morning, Damien waited in Pips room (he climbed up the trellis) for him to return. After what felt like hours, the door to Pips room opened and the little brit entered, kicking off his shoes
"Phew! I say, that certainly was a long service!"
"Hello Pip."
"Gah!" the blonde yelped. He turned, relaxing upon seeing the black-clothed demon sitting on his bed.
"Oh, Damien, it's just you. You startled me."
Damien climbed of the bed and stalked over to the blonde "Pip, why do you keep going to that stupid Church? You know only Mormons and Buddhists go to heaven. Why waste your time on that crap?"
Pip looked taken aback, "Well, Damien, I don't really have a choice in the matter. I have to, my step-parents make me."
"You could tell them you don't want to go."
"I'm Nine. why should they care what I want to do?"
Damien opened his mouth to respond, but closed it. He had a point. And if Pip had to go to church because his parents made him, he certainly couldn't fault him for neglecting his duties as his consort because it was beyond his control. Which meant Damien had no say in the matter.
"Damnit!"
11. Purse
"Pip, what is that thing on your shoulder?" the 16 year old anti-christ asked, pointing at the thing Pip currently had hangin from his shoulder and comming to rest near his waist.
"Oh, it was a present from Estella she sent for my birthday. Isn't it smashing? It's made of real leather, and it's designed to look like the english flag! It's the latest thing is fashion, she says, it's a bag for men to use to carry things like their wallets, keys, pens, cigarettes, and-"
"It's a purse" Damien stated.
Pip's eyes widened. "It is not a purse, it's a...a..."
"Yes?" Damien said, crossing his arms, waiting for a response.
Pip looked at the bag, a look of dispair crossing his face as he read the little tag on the strap
" 'Multi-use handbag for men'..."
"So it's a man-purse."
Pip sputtered for some kind of defense. Damien smirked and wrapped an arm around his waist.
"Don't sweat it. My dad got me one just last week..."
12. Hair
Pip was a gentleman. And as such, he usualy put other peoples opinions ahead of his own, even of they were derogatory towards him. But there were two things he did NOT compromise on.
Being called French when he was obviously British.
And his hair.
His step-mother often complained about his long hair. "No boy wears their hair that long nowadays" she said whenever she saw him brushing out his golden tresses in the bathroom. He was 13 years old, and his hair had been shoulder length since elementary school. Recently he'd allowed it to grow out even more, and now, when loose (since he normaly pulled it back into a poney-tail), it stretched halfway to his elbows.
Pip wasn't a very self-absorbed person, but he absolutly adored his hair. He took great pride in keeping it clean, soft, neat, free of dead or split-ends, and shiney to boot. It was the envy of every girl at the middle school. And even some of the male students seemed to think it was "cool" and "non-conformist".
Some however, like Eric Cartman, called him a hippy and openly mocked his "girly hair".
Pip didn't care. Not that he didn't enjoy his hair and the attention it got (both positive and negative) but he didn't grow it out for his peers.
He grew it on the behest of one black-clad best freind of his who had one day on the walk home tilted his head at him and casualy spoken six little words.
"You should grow out your hair..."
And he kept it because he liked the way that same anti-christ ran his hands through it
13. Computer
"Don't lie to me, Damien, I know you used my lap-top without permission!" the 21 year old college student frowned.
"No I didn't!"
"Oh, yeah? then why are all these porno sites on the browsing history, I certainly didn't visit them!" He held the the screen up for Damien to see.
Damien glared at the monitor with it's long, LONG list of porn websites he'd visited listed in the chart .
"Stupid computer..."
14. Clock
Damien and Pip both glanced at the clock as they waited for the little stick on the counter to dry.
"Damn it, why does five minutes have to take so damn long?" The anti-christ demanded. Pip sighed, "I don't know..."
Ding!
The egg-timer went off.
Damien froze.
Now he almost wished it had been an even LONGER wait as Pip reached over and picked up the little stick sitting on the counter.
He fidgeted nervously "Well...?"
Pip looked over at him and smiled, "We're going to have a baby."
Damien pumped his fists, "Yes!Yes! Satan be praised! I KNEW that spell would work! Human science, kiss my ass!"
Pip just giggled as his boyfreind (and the father of their future child), did a rather silly victory dance around the room.
15. Frog
"So, if I kiss you, you'll turn back into a prince?" The peasant boy asked the black frog with red eyes sitting on the ground beore him.
"That's right."
"I thought only a princesses kiss could break spells like that," the blonde said aloud. The frog hopped closer, landing on the boys bare knee. "Nope. Anyone can do it, as long as they're willing and have a strong enough soul."
The boy 'hm'd' at that. "So who put the spell on you, anyway?"
"A fat-ass wizard named Cartman and his minions."
"Eric the terrible?" the boy asked.
"Yes. Him. now are you gonna kiss me or not?"
"Oh, right." the blonde said picking him up, "Here we go..."
He pursed his lips and placed a kiss on the very top of the frogs head. The creature glowed an ominous red and grew into a tall, dashing, red-eyes human clothed in black. He clenched his fists victoriously, "Finaly! I, Damien, am free!"
The boy gazed up at the noble and handsome prince, marveling his beauty. The black clad royal looked down at him, holding out a hand "What was our name, boy?"
The boy licked his lips, "Phillip. But everyone in my village calls me Pip."
"Well, then, Pip. You shall be handsomely rewarded for freeing me of that blasted curse. How would you like to be my servant?" He offered, seeing the rags the boy wore as clothing, "You'll be given new clothes and be allowed to eat as much as you want."
"Really?" the begger asked, sounding excited.
"Yes. That sounds better than living in the gutter doesn't it?"
"Oh, yes, your highness! You're too kind..."
The dark prince wrapped an arm around his shoulders as their made their way to the castle, "You can call me Damien."
16. Fire
There was a fog in the air as the small procession walked out into the forest. A group of men in red british military uniforms leading two prisoners bound in chains behind them. At length, they stop and undid theshackles, the chains falling to the ground with a clink. One of the prisoners, a long, lanky black haired fellow with reddish eyes, wore a dirty and battered blue uniform, a patriot. The other, noticably smaller figure, had bshoulder length blond hair. His unform was red like his captors. He was none other than Captain Phillip Pirrup of the British army, though you'd never tell with him covered in bruises and chaffed from the iron handcuffs that had just been removed. He and his companion, Damien Thorne, and American revolutionary, were about to be executed.
The newly appointed Captain of his Unit, Stanley Marsh, stood at attention.
"These prisoners are sentanced to be executed by the order of general Eric Cartman for the following crimes..." he cleared his throat, unrolling a list of parchment. "Damien, Thorne, you're individual charges are as follows: Horse thievery, Arson, and spying on his majesty's royal army."
The rebel sneered and spat at the ground where he stood, "To hell with your king."
This was ignored as Captain Marsh moved onto the next prisoner, "Captain Phillip Pirrup, you are individualy charged with desertion, conspiracy against the crowns army, and delivering wartime strategies and other vaulable information to a spy, as well as attempting to free a prisoner of war."
The blonde stood motionless, giving only a nod to show he had heard his charges.
He pulled out another sheet of paper, "Your joint charges are treason to the Crown, Country, and God, for the heinous crime, and sin, of performing carnal acts of pleasure with one of the same sex. For these crimes, you shall be executed by firing squad."
As he read this order, a man stepped forward and tied a handkerchief over each of their eyes.
Captain Marsh rolled up the sheets and rejoined his men
"On my mark, men!
The soldiers took knee and goot into prime firing position
"Three!"
So close did they stand that Damien could feel Phillip, or Pip, as the men called him, tremble.
"Two!"
Pip started as he felt a hand reach out and squeeze his own. Damiens hand. He ran his thumb soothingly across the back of his hand. He felt his nerves steady as is trembling slowed.
"One!"
Pip squeezed back as he accepted his fate. General Cartman said he was going to burn in hell when he'd caught them together in his tent for his sin of homosexuality.
'Oh well...' he thought, 'At least I'll burn with Damien...'
"FIRE!"
17. Angel
Damien was a demon. The son of Satan. Prince of Hell. The Antichrist. And as expected of someone like him, he hated Angels. With their snow-white wings and their mormonistic views and their blasted infinity for-shudder-goodness and purity.
Pip often reminded him of an angel. His pleasant attitude, his inexplicable ability to turn the other cheek and then turn it again. His long golden hair that spilled out from under that cap of his. His flawless skin, unmarred, despite the many injuries he'd suffered over the years.
He was very much like an angel, logically, Damien should despise such a being with all of his evil little heart.
And yet he found himself drawn like moth to a flame to the soft spoken boy.
He had no idea why he was freinds with this british exchange student that seemed to contrast with his own personality so VERY much.
But he was.
BEST freinds even. So close that he personaly came to his defense far more times than he could remember.
No matter how hard Damien thought about it, he could come up with only one conclusion. Pip may be an angel...
But he was HIS angel.
18. French
Cartman lay on the ground his nose bloodied and his face covereing in bruises.
"Take it back!" said the boy towering over him, his eyes feiry with rage.
"No!"
PUNCH!
"I said, take it back!"
"Never!"
"If you don't take it back I'll rip out your brain stem, walk it into the nearest four way intersection, and skip rope with it right before comming back over and strangling you with it while I ass-rape you with a lead pipe!"
Cartman paled, "Alright! Alright! I'm sorry, you're not French! You're NOT FRENCH!"
"Damn strait!" the blond said, wiping his bloody knuckles on the hem of his red blazer. Damien, who stood a few feet away next to Kyle, Kenny, and stan as Butters rushed forward to help Cartman rise shakily to his feet, turned to the other three members of Cartmans group.
"Remind me NEVER to call Pip French..."
10. Church: No comment
11. Purse: Knowing Satan, he totaly would get Damien a man bag...
12. Hair: I saw a fanart of an older pip with long hair, and I totaly loved it^^
13. Computer: Because I think we've ALL been here...on one side or the other. Looks like Damien's not gonna get laid for a while.
14. Clock: I hate clocks. they are evil
15. Frog: Cuz I felt like it.
16. Fire: Struck me in a moment of genious and I cried writing it.
17. Angel: cheesy, I know. ::punches self in face::
18. French:O.O Never piss off Pip. EVER.