Author's Note: To anyone who read the first chapter of this story however many months – or years – ago it was published, please forgive this insanely long delay. It was never in my mind to not continue this story, but I always found it hard to do so. Much of what follows has actually been in existence for a long time, I just never found a way to finish it. But it's here now, and while it's nothing like Project Psynergy in my mind, I'm still proud of it.

Now then, let's resume what is arguably the darkest thing I've ever written.

BLACK BOOK

Chapter 2: Casualty

It seemed like the whole town was crowding around the accident zone. All were peering at the sight, pulling younger children away from the gristly scene and staring at Garet's prone form.

They were treating it like a tourist attraction in Jenna's mind. She was at the outer rim of the group, struggling to hold back her tears. Unable to do much in the way of assist, she was now observing anyone with any form of healing Psynergy working on trying to restore Garet to a stable state.

But it was nearly impossible. Jenna had seen it. Even the most talented Adept in the world would have been powerless to help. No matter how hard Mia or Piers or any other healer tried, there was little they could do for a broken windpipe. Even if the other wounds didn't get the Mars Adept, there was no way they could fix his breathing.

It was a miracle that his heart was still beating when Jenna had first dragged herself to him. Garet's face had rapidly been turning blue from lack of oxygen, while the blood pooled around him from the sickening wounds on his torso. She wasn't a good enough healer to tell where the wooden shards had landed, but she guessed that at least one organ had been punctured.

He was gone. Nothing could be done. Garet was going to die.

There was a slight murmur running through the throngs of townsfolk as they debated whether he could be saved. As if to answer the questions running through the minds of those collected, however, Piers stood up. Even the rapidly darkening night could not disguise the mournful expression on his face.

"...he..." the Lemurian struggled to say, but then he just lowered his head and shook it. The murmur increased to a steady buzz of conversation, as Jenna's thoughts were confirmed.

It wasn't fair. Nothing they had ever experienced before should have led to this. They had journeyed from one end of Weyard to the next, exploring every little area and facing threats the likes of which no-one else could imagine. All of them they had stood against, and all of them they had beaten back.

And now... to fall to something as simple and yet as tragic as a breaking ladder... that was not how it should be. Every system of justice in the world would raise a cry of anger from this outrage, yet the deed was done. Garet's last breath was fading fast.

It was all too much for Jenna to bear. Shutting her eyes against the new stream of tears, she groped her way blindly through the crowd and began to run through Vale. No destination resided in her mind... she just had to get away from what she had seen. She had to get away from where her friend lay, dying.

The voices of the people faded behind her as Jenna's feet pounded the ground, running to who knew where. Her chest was tight from sadness, and her breathing was harsh and ragged. She didn't care. Her running legs carried her further into the night, passing beyond the ring of buildings that was Vale and into the open wilderness beyond. She didn't care.

Suddenly, her leg twisted in a hole in the ground, sending sharp jolts of pain through her body. Jenna cried out as she lost her balance and hit the ground with a thud. The wind was knocked from her lungs, and her chest burned with pain. Suddenly unable to move, Jenna simply lay on the ground and continued crying.

She was not one to shed tears lightly. Even the disappearance of her family had not exuded from her as many sorrowful moans as she gave now. But the sense of injustice weighed down upon her heart more than Jenna had ever experienced before, sucking every last ounce of sadness from her being. It was if the world had raped her. Taking away Garet was the most treacherous, horrible thing that it could have done, especially considering what she had fought through to protect it.

"He's dead," she whispered into the dirt beneath her. "He's dead... dead..."

She couldn't stop herself saying it. She needed to get the grief free, or it would consume her entirely. And so she stayed there for an unknown period of time, her physical pain forgotten, repeating the words over and over as the night continued on its course.

Finally, as sadness gave way to exhaustion, Jenna closed her eyes and willed the comforting darkness over herself, giving into the peaceful state of sleep even as her mind continued to twist and roil.

- - - - -

Her parents were worried, but not angry. They understood how much grief Jenna was experiencing. They understood that she had just experienced the death of a close friend.

Upon her shambling return to Vale covered in dirt, sweat and tears that morning, she had learned that Garet's heart had finally ceased beating shortly after she had run. The entire Jerra family was understandably in mourning, as were many people in the village.

Jenna didn't want to go out there. She didn't want to face the truth. She was home now, lying on her bed after having changed into clean clothes, staring up at the roof. Her tears had subsided, but not the dull, heavy feeling of loss and sadness that had attached itself to her heart. It didn't seem likely that she'd ever get over this pain as long as she lived.

Garet Jerra. One of her best friends. A bit clumsy sometimes, and occasionally a little brash. But he was the most loveable person she'd ever known... a kind, caring, compassionate person who had always put his friends above himself. Such a person was rare in the world... and such a person was now rarer still.

Garet. A person she'd always felt kinship towards. A person she'd possibly even felt love towards. Gone. It didn't seem possible, and yet already her mental image of him was fading away…

Sighing heavily, Jenna lowered her gaze and rolled over on her bed. Immediately, her eyes were drawn to something there. Absently, she reached over and gripped the object with her hand, pulling it towards her. Her journal – the black book.

The Mars Adept stared at it for a moment, almost ignoring it's existence entirely. Her mind was elsewhere... she didn't want to concern herself with the book at the moment. She didn't know if she could face the emotions that writing about the recent occurrences would bring on. It had taken all her effort and all her willpower to subdue it the previous night... the last thing she wanted was to be confronted by the onset of those ravaging emotions again.

Jenna returned the book to it's place once again. She was fighting the temptation to go outside and find her travelling companions. The band of adventurers had been reduced in number by one after the journey had concluded... no doubt they had things to say to each other. But for the same reasons as she was forestalling writing about the newest events of Vale, Jenna was putting off coexisting with her friends.

Sighing, she decided that she'd have to do it sooner or later... it was probably best to go now. She couldn't be the only one suffering at the moment, so it was her obligation – her duty, even – to help everyone get through that situation. In particular, Isaac... she knew him as well as she knew Garet, and they had all been the best of friends in their youth. But she had been away... they had come after her on their own. They had still been with one another.

At a time like this, his sudden loss would have been overwhelming even for the normally quiet, calm, and resolute young man. Making up her mind, Jenna reluctantly slipped out of her room and headed outside, her destination the plaza. It was the usual meeting place for the entire village, and even the heroes gathered there.

From a distance, Jenna could see them convening already... everyone from the group was assembled. Most were standing in a circle, the most notable Mia... her face was hidden behind her hands, and it was clear even from here that she was crying her heart out. Sheba and Ivan were trying their best to comfort her, but it was clear that they were suffering too.

Beside that trio was Felix, Piers, and Isaac. They were talking quietly amongst themselves... or rather, Felix and Piers were. Isaac was standing there, looking lost and distraught... a completely foreign expression on his normally calm features. Even like that, though, there was still some level of control in his face.

Her own tears were returning, but Jenna stubbornly forced them aside... amazingly enough, the urge ceased almost instantly, leaving her feeling calm and stunned. That was odd... nonetheless, she stepped up to the group. All of them noticed her, but they didn't say anything immediately... Mia was too swept up in her grief, and Isaac seemed too detached to do anything.

The look on Isaac's face was haunting Jenna, somehow.

Without warning, the tears returned again... she wiped her eyes, but the tears refused to stop. Absently, she felt arms around her, looked up suddenly. Felix was there, doing his brotherly duties, giving her a compassionate hug.

"We're all sorry," he murmured to his younger sister, and Jenna immediately gave in and started crying against him completely. Time slipped from her comprehension and she had no idea how long she was there... it could have been seconds, it could have been minutes, it could even have been hours.

Finally, the tears ceased, and she looked up. Everyone was still there, and Mia had calmed down at last, though she was still stricken. Piers was talking to her now, as well as Sheba and Ivan, though the words swam in Jenna's mind and refused to be made sense of.

With a start, she realised that Isaac was gone. Slowly, she let go of Felix, and he released her hold on her. Apparently he was lost for words on what to say to her. She just shook her head slowly and walked away from the others.

She needed to let herself out again, and that was something she couldn't even do with Felix... she needed to write.

- - - - -

I can't believe it... he's gone. Garet is gone. I don't want to write how here... I have little doubt that I'll remember every horrible moment for the rest of my life. So it's not necessary to put it here.

I knew when I first saw his wounds that there was no hope for him. I'm not much of a healer... my healing capabilities are extremely limited. But even Mia and Piers working in unison were unable to save him. The moment I knew for certain that there was no hope, I couldn't control myself... I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. And then I simply collapsed... my emotions just got the best of me, and I let them out in a ceaseless stream until I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

When I finally got home, the first thing I really did was go in search of everyone. They weren't hard to find... most of my friends had gathered to discuss what had happened. Obviously, everyone was deeply saddened because of Garet's loss... but there was more. There was an underlying feeling amongst them, hidden beneath their features. They feel just like I do. They think that this is injustice in it's pure and most hated form.

Garet was our companion. Our friend. In times when things seemed at a loss, his cheerful nature pulled us together and helped us to fight on. Without him, we could very well have been lost. Without him, we really feel lost now.

Isaac especially...

Isaac, Garet, myself... along with Felix to a lesser extent, we've been together since childhood. We've grown up around each other. We know each other like the back of our hands. The three of us... our relationship was so close that when one of us had a problem, then the others could immediately sense it. Isaac himself has told me that he and Garet both felt at a complete loss when I was kidnapped – as if a piece of the world that is so integral to existence has been removed, leaving all involved in a dazed and confused state.

Now is no different. But then, it is. Despite how hard this is for me, though, my own connection with Isaac and Garet was reduced slightly in my absence. Yet they remained together, constantly on my trail. Their ethereal connection remained untouched.

No longer. Their connection has been severed completely, never to return again. And now Isaac is floundering; reeling as if he's been struck by an arrow. He's lost, he's confused, and he's horribly upset. I've never seen him like that... despite everything, he's always been a resolute figure. He may not have been as uplifting as Garet, but his words of wisdom and courage compelled us to keep pushing on, no matter what.

These words have disappeared inside him entirely, just like Garet. His best friend has been violently snatched away from him in perhaps the worst situation possible. I remember that once, when my parents were lost, Isaac was there to help me. Garet was too, but Isaac especially stood out like a beacon of hope. He too had experienced a loss, but he had almost taken it in his stride. His own feelings were secondary in comparison to my own.

...I cannot believe I am writing this. Feeling this. In such a time, I am actually considering... I am considering that I held affection for Isaac, too. I can't deny that at one stage of my life, I have, just like with Garet. But now, in such a time, consumed by grief at the loss of my friend...

Isaac helped me once. He pulled me back from the depths when all reasoning in my mind had evaporated. He saved me... and now, the situation seems to have reversed. Isaac is lost, and I'm here, writing in this book, about how I want to help him recover. All of a sudden my grief at Garet's passing has been pushed aside... all I can focus on is helping Isaac.

This... just doesn't feel right... why is it so? Thinking these feelings... it makes me feel like I'm betraying my companion. The mourning and grief has passed in an instant and already I'm talking to myself about Isaac's recovery... about... about how I could very well be feeling love towards him. Just like I was feeling about Garet yesterday.

...I don't want to continue writing like this...

Jenna placed the charcoal and the book on her desk, lying back down on her bed. Immediately, she felt tears well up. She felt so vile, so wrong... how on earth could she be doing this? It was like she was forsaking her friend, so close to his death... why? What was coercing her to think like this? Her grief was fading already, only hours after it had happened…

As long as she held that book in her hands... the small black book with the mesmerising pattern of gold... a powerful desire fell upon her to constantly write her emotions down. But it was almost impossible to write of Garet anymore... no matter what, she couldn't bring herself to speak about anything other than her concern for Isaac. What was going on? Even with the outflow of emotions, she somehow felt emptier than before.

Almost as if on cue, she heard a soft tapping at her door. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, and turned towards the door. Her voice choked up on her tears, and suddenly she found it difficult to say anything.

"Jenna?" said the person on the other side of the door. Her heart skipped a beat... Isaac. "Can I come in...?"

"Of course," Jenna responded, immediately annoyed at how raspy her voice sounded. She didn't move from her bed, just looked up at the ceiling. The door opened, and Isaac slipped in, looking at her.

"Sorry to bother you," he said quietly, taking up a spot near the door and looking at the ground. Jenna moved her gaze over to him, noting that once again he seemed completely calm... any form of distress was gone from his features. "I thought you could use some company."

Taking a deep breath, Jenna sat up on her bed, swinging her legs over the side and standing up to meet him. Without warning, she took hold of his upper arm and gently led him out of the room. "I do... and I also need some fresh air..."

Tears were creeping into her eyes again, but it wasn't caused by grief... this time, it was the sudden lack of grief. She no longer felt bad about Garet... everything was slipping away. Now she was more focused on Isaac all of a sudden. Why...?

Isaac nodded at her statement and walked with her. They left her house and walked through the village together, though quickly Jenna decided that she didn't want to be around that many people. She wanted solitude... or at least, she wanted no-one but Isaac there to share her grief. Thus, she quickly manoeuvred him away from the village and led him to the outskirts.

Finally, he broke their silence.

"I just had to know if you're okay, Jenna. This whole thing... I feel absolutely horrible about what happened to Garet. It doesn't feel right... it shouldn't have happened. Not here, not now, when everything has finally subsided and all the tragedies had ended..." Isaac sighed. "But I don't care about myself. I want to know how you're doing about this whole thing..."

"Why?" Jenna whispered, recalling what she had just written. "Why concern yourself with my feelings? You were closer to Garet than me... far closer. I should be the one worried about you... I am worried about you."

Isaac shook his head. "I do feel his loss. Believe me, the feelings are strong in my heart... but... Jenna, do you remember when our parents disappeared? We all thought they died... we know better now, of course, but at the time you were completely crushed. You barely ate, you barely slept, you barely reacted at all to anything... you were so distraught. Your emotions are far stronger than mine... I was hardly able to mourn my own loss. Especially considering that you were suffering in front of me."

Jenna felt the lump in her throat rise, and she choked back tears. That wasn't true... if her emotions were so much stronger, why was she rapidly becoming numb to Garet's loss? Why, instead, was she focusing on Isaac? Why couldn't she mourn like she really wanted to...

"That's not true," she sobbed.

"It is true... even if you don't think it is. I know it." Isaac lowered his head.

By now, neither of them was focusing on their travelling path, and so they were wandering aimlessly through the outskirts of the village. A dim noise was building up at the edge of their hearing, and it took a moment for Jenna to understand – they were nearing the river. Though Mount Aleph itself was gone, the river that had weaved through the village of Vale and out towards the sea still remained, and now they were following it's weaving pathway.

"...thank you," Jenna murmured.

"Hmm? For what?" Isaac asked.

"You followed me all the way around the world in an effort to save me. You and Garet... you went to the ends of Weyard to find me and make sure I was safe. I don't think I ever thanked you for that... so thank you."

Isaac gave a slight smile. "How could I do anything else...?"

"I... you could..." Jenna stopped. Immediately, something swelled up inside her. Her current mood was forced aside, being replaced by vehement rage. How dare they?

"I refuse to continue this," she hissed quietly, drawing a curious stare from Isaac. "Garet is dead. We will never see him again. Yet what are we doing? We're talking about each other. It's like we don't care... it's like we are completely ignoring the fact that he ever existed."

"Jenna..." Isaac said, shock registering on his features.

"Earlier today, I was writing in my diary. Almost without realising it my thoughts switched from Garet to you, Isaac. I thought of you, and how bad you must be feeling in this situation." By now, Jenna was completely furious. "And then I came to the point where I wanted to comfort you. Where I didn't want to see you hurt. I stopped caring about Garet entirely... even now I can barely think about him. Instead, all I can see is that I feel affection for you. My own needs are second to yours – I just want to make sure that you're okay, so I can satisfy my own feelings for you!"

Isaac's expression was awash in disbelief. "Jenna, please, calm down..."

"I won't calm down!" she yelled, tears beginning to fall from her eyes. "I refuse to calm down! We're barely acting like humans anymore... we've given up caring about our fallen comrade. I don't want to be like this... Garet was my friend... I want to care about him... I want to care..."

Immediately her rage subsided, replaced by sadness. Even with her outburst, she couldn't think of Garet... everything remained just as it had been before. Her emotions were running rampant now, but they were evading that particular topic as if it was plague-ridden. It wasn't fair... it just wasn't fair. Garet was gone... the least she could do was honour her friend. But she couldn't...

"I...I'm sorry Jenna." Isaac lowered his head. "I'm so sorry... I don't know what I'm saying. This is so strange… I don't feel like I should… I feel just like you do..."

Silently, he started walking away from her, continuing to follow the contours of the river. Jenna felt a deep pang in her heart, joining the mass of ill feelings that swirled within her chest. As if it wasn't bad enough that she couldn't feel anything for Garet's loss, now she was pushing Isaac away with her words...

"Wait," she whispered. "Isaac... I-I'm sorry...I didn't..."

More words tried to form inside her, but they faltered as she witnessed what happened next.

Isaac continued to walk just by the water's edge. Unexpectedly, his foot came to rest on an uneven stone resting by the river. As he tried to take another step, his boot slid off the stone, making him lose his balance. Almost immediately, Isaac fell to the side and into the river.

It had been raining lately, and as a result the river was moving at a slightly accelerated pace as the runoff from the mountains sped up the current. As a result, Isaac was sucked completely into the water.

"Isaac!" Jenna cried, rushing to the river. She expected him to get to the surface in moments and reach the bank again. But he didn't... he remained submerged, getting pulled along by the current.

Her heart started pounding fast, and she started sprinting. "Isaac!" she yelled again, even though he wouldn't hear her. Jenna continued to watch, mentally screaming at him to get out of the water.

Then she noticed the swirling red trails.

"Oh no..." she whispered. Blood.

Completely ignoring any desire for her own safety, Jenna threw herself into the water as well and swam towards Isaac. She clutched him tightly in her arms before kicking to the surface. Every other need was secondary once again... now she desperately needed Isaac to live. Fighting against the current, she dragged his prone body to shore.

No… not you too... Please be alive...

- - - - -

Author's Note: No promises on when the next update is. If you read this or Project Psynergy a long time ago, you'd understand what I mean about irregular updates. This story isn't finished yet, however. Still, this chapter gave me huge amounts of difficulty, and this has to have been the hardest thing I've ever tried to write without giving up completely. I don't know why... but it is. Don't be surprised if the next update doesn't happen immediately.