Chapter 2: Restricting

When I wake up Dorota has made eggs, bacon, and sausage. I eat one egg, a cup of coffee, and a bowl of strawberries considering they barely have any calories and at least the egg will give me a little bit of protein. Caleb and the man with the striking eyes enter the kitchen and fix their plates and I continue to drink my coffee it's disgusting considering it doesn't add creamer but those are unnecessary calories so I choose to forgo them.

Caleb and the man sit down at the table. "Tris I'm unsure of whether the two of you have been properly acquainted so anyways, Tris this is Tobias," He says. "Nice to meet you," I say.

"Same to you," he replies. I smile at him and he looks down at his plate and begins shoveling his food into his mouth. "Tris is that all you're going to eat," Caleb asks, obviously in an effort to piss me off. "What do you mean by that? I've eaten an egg, coffee, and a huge bowl of strawberries," I say trying to make it sound like I ate more than I actually have. "Have this," he says while handing me his blackberry Danish.
"I'm fine," I say and Tobias raises an eyebrow at me. "Beatrice," Caleb says disapprovingly.

I start to eat it, I guess I'm going to have to purge now, which I really hate doing. I have no other choice though it's either that or getting fat. I eat the Danish reluctantly. I feel bad that Tobias had to witness the whole ordeal because now he's probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

After Caleb and Tobias get up from the table they head to the living room to watch television or something. I head to the hall bathroom and contemplate whether to do it or not.
I think about all of the food I ate and immediately begin to feel sick to my stomach. I tie my hair back into a pony tail, lift up the toilet lid, and stick my fingers down my throat. I start gagging and begin to purge for a bit when there's a knock on the door. "Tris, are you alright?" It's Tobias, I realize.

I wipe my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and flush. I blow my nose and brush the tears out from underneath my eyes. "I'm fine," I say loud enough for him to hear. I begin to brush my teeth and drink a few cups of water before exiting the bathroom.

When I exit the bathroom Tobias is there waiting for me. "Tris," he mutters, seeming disappointed in me. He knows, either Caleb told him or he was smart enough to connect the dots, most likely the latter. "Why do you feel the need to do that?" He asks me.

"I'm going to get fat if I don't," I say almost shamefully. "Tris you're beautiful, you don't have to do this. It's going to end up hurting you in the long run…" He says. I blush at his compliment but feel the sudden urge to cry. I throw my arms around him in a hug and cry into his chest until I actually realize what I'm doing.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry you need a new shirt now," I say while pulling away from the hug. "Its fine Tris," he says pulling me back into the hug.

In this moment I know I have feelings greater than I'm allowed to have for this man. I'm seventeen, he's twenty two. There's no way he's even allowed to reciprocate the feelings. Why would he even consider loving an ordinary girl like me? There's nothing special about me at all, so obviously there's nothing that he could even possibly be attracted to.

I break free from the hug and we both head out to the living room. We sit down and my brother's watching Game of Thrones. I sit down and watch with the two of them. Caleb and Tobias begin talking and I listen intently to their conversation. "So what have you been doing lately?" Caleb asks Tobias.

"I'm majoring in economics at the University of Chicago right now," Tobias says. "Do you live on campus?" Caleb asks.

"No I still live with my father, but that's only so I can take over the company once my father moves to Italy with his new girlfriend in June," he says, which peaks my interest. Caleb interrogates him further, "Remind me again what your company is?" "My father is the CEO of Chase banks and I'll be taking over that position," Tobias says somewhat smugly.

"Holy shit dude. Well at least you have your life planned out," Caleb says jokingly. "So what are you doing Mr. Prior?" Tobias teases. "I'm just playing football for USC right now, NFL scouts have been coming to a lot of the games recently so I'm hoping to get drafted," Caleb says excitedly.
"What about you Tris?" Tobias asks me causing me to blush. "Umm… College apps for the moment," I say with a sheepish smile.
"Where'd you apply?" Tobias pushes. "Stanford, Columbia, Yale, Harvard, Brown, Dartmouth, Princeton, Syracuse, Cornell, University of Virginia, University of Pennsylvania, and University of Chicago. God that was a mouth full," I say light-heartedly.

"What are your top three?" He asks me and I smile. "University of Virginia, Yale, & University of Chicago," I say.

"Mine were Yale, Syracuse, and University of Chicago, which obviously worked out for me considering that I'm going to Chicago now," he says with a slight chuckle. "Why'd you choose Chicago?" I ask hoping I'm not being too invasive.
"I couldn't bear to leave the city, I love it here too much," He says and I smile back at him. All of a sudden Caleb's phone rings and he answers eagerly. "Hello?... Susan?... I'll be over… Love you too… See you soon," He says excitedly.
He looks at Tobias and I. "I'm going over to Susan's for the day, Tobias, if you want to sleep over again you can feel free to steal my clothes. Tris, stay safe,"

I smile at Caleb, once he leaves Tension fills the air. Dorota went out shopping so it's just Tobias and I. "So…" I say awkwardly. "What do you want to do?" I ask.

"I'm going to make lunch then you're going to have some. Afterwards we can head to the gym so you don't feel guilty about it afterwards. Deal?" I stare at him warily. Caleb must've gotten to him or something. I think about his suggestions. Eating has become a weird concept for me to grasp. I guess I could try since it'll make Tobias happy. Woah, what's gotten into me? Craving approval from a random guy you only met yesterday? Someone has a crush, the voice inside my head says I try to shut it out but it's true, so why bother?

"Fine," I say flatly. "Really?" He asks, with a crooked smile. I simply nod. He heads to the kitchen and I follow him. We start off by making a Caprese Salad in which I cut the Campari tomatoes, while he slices a ball of smoked mozzarella.

For the entrée he makes chicken sautéed with portabella mushrooms in a Marsala wine sauce. When we sit down I look at the food that's in front of me. I drink a full glass of water like I normally do before I eat anything. I take a bite of the chicken with caution. I feel as if I'm going to gag but then I can't because then I'd be embarrassed. When I'm done with my first bite my eyes widen. "This is really good," I admit, despite the fact that eating makes my stomach feel queasy. "Well I'm glad you think so," He says while flashing me a smile. Oh god, that smile. His smiles cause butterflies in my stomach, making my heart beat faster.

I eat all of my Caprese salad and more than half of my chicken, which by the way was a very large portion. "Thank you," I say to him meaning so much more than just for the meal. I feel tears threatening to fall so I turn around and clean up so I don't have to confront my emotions.
I put the dishes in the dishwasher and when I turn around he's right there and by right there I mean right there. "What's wrong Tris?"

"It's nothing," I say dismissing my feelings. "Come on I know something's wrong. You can be open with me. I'm not going to judge you," He assures me. I walk over to the couch and he follows. He sits down next to me and I angle my body so I'm facing him. "Okay, well what just happened was a really big deal for me," I say.
"How so?" He asks obviously in an effort to make me face my insecurities head on. "Well, it was the first time I've eaten a full mean in over a year. The craziest part is that I almost enjoyed it and while I still feel guilty, I'm not going to purge and I know it," I admit.

"I'll be here to make sure you don't," he promises me while placing his hand on my knee. I smile at him and I know I can't stop it. I start crying, and he scoots in closer to me. He lifts me up onto his lap and I bury my head into his neck.

We never end up going to the gym to work out. We just stay like this. Occasionally talking to each other but mainly just enjoying each-others presence.

Before I drift off into dreamland he kisses the top of my head. In that moment I know I'm completely and irrevocably his.