Hey, thanks for all of the reviews so far ... and sorry to keep you all waiting I will try and update as soon as I can as I hate waiting. Anyway I hope you enjoy the next two chapters ... this might be a longish story as it will take Sara a while to figure things out ... especially by herself ... anyway give me your thoughts.
I own nothing !... if I did I would be a lot more money for Christmas presents!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sara felt numb.
She had heard Grissom tell her their baby was gone but she knew he was wrong.
How could her baby be dead when she had heard her cry.
She tried to tell this to Grissom but he just started to cry again telling her she was in shock.
Sitting in her bed Sara stared out of the window, "I want to see her," she asked after a few hours.
Grissom nodded, "they said you could see him after talking to the grief councilor," he chocked back.
Shaking her head and looking at her husband she answered him in the calmest voice possible, "I want to see her now".
About to ask him why he kept on referring to their baby as a boy Sara saw a short woman with chestnut hair and a friendly smile walk in.
"Hi I'm Susan Howell, a grief councilor here at the hospital," she said before sitting on the other chair beside her bed.
"I want to see my baby," Sara demanded for a second time after Susan tried to explain some of the feelings she would be going though.
Looking at Grissom and nodding her head Susan stood up to leave the room before giving him her business card, "Mr Grissom please call me if you or your wife need to talk," now looking at Sara, "once again I am sorry for your loss."
Seeing the woman walk out Sara began to look out the window again until 10 minutes latter when a nurse walked in pushing an incubator.
Accepting the baby Sara breathed in before opening the blanket.
Immediately recoiling she held the baby out for the nurse to take away.
"This is not my baby," Sara said starting to feel physically ill.
"I want my baby, its a little girl," she started to beg, "I heard her cry, where is she, "I want my baby," she sobbed.
Looking up at the nurse and Grissom who was deeply upset, Sara sank back down into her bed.
"Sweetie, this is our baby, it was a boy," Grissom managed trying to get Sara to look at him.
Shaking her head Sara attempted to get up before being stopped by the nurse who told her she could not get up yet because of her C-section.
"WHERE IS MY BABY, GIVE HER TO ME!" Sara continued to scream through her sobs before the nurse called for a doctor to administer a sedative.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Looking around their living room Sara knew why they were here - to morn the loss of the baby.
Grissom had named the baby Issac and arranged the funeral after she refused to have any thing to do with it.
Looking over at her husband who was talking to Brass she could see the pain etched on his face but she refused to believe, could not believe the baby boy was hers.
Deciding she had had enough Sara stood up and walked up the stairs ignoring Catherine who tried to talk to her and Nick who tired to give her a hug.
Sitting in a rocking chair in the nursery Sara held a receiving blanket to her face while crying silently not wanting anyone to come and ask her again if she was OK.
Starting to rock herself she could hear people talking downstairs.
A week after being discharged from the hospital Sara was beginning to question her sanity.
No-one would listen to her about what she had experienced but she knew what she had heard and she knew her baby was not dead.
Taking the blanket Sara walked through to her and Grissom's bedroom and crawled into a fetal position on their king sized bed.
Closing her eyes Sara fell asleep ... "She's mine give her to me", turning over the dream continued, "hurry up its's taking to long".
Waking up in a cold sweet she started to cry.
She heard the baby cry - her baby.
Starting to cry even harder Sara did not see Grissom as he walked over to the bed and pulled Sara into a hug while gently rocking her back and forth.
Still holding each other Sara tried to tell Grissom what she heard in the hospital.
"I heard her cry, someone demanded her and then ...", wanting to continue Sara was stopped by Grissom who let Sara go and stood up to pace the floor.
Watching him pull of his tie Grissom squatted down beside the bed and reached for Sara's hands.
"Our baby died, Issac was stillborn," he whispered.
Looking away Sara didn't know what to say.
"But I heard her cry, why won't you believe me," She started to beg.
Sitting on the side of the bed again Grissom breathed in as he prepared himself to tell his wife what he had been trying to tell her all week.
"You lost consciousness ...", he began as he saw silent tears run down her cheaks.
"They rushed you into surgery but it was too late," he whispered.
Realizing he was not going to listen Sara began sobbing again as Grissom pulled her down into another hug.
Feeling his body shake with sobs Sara started to moan ... he was crying for the baby boy while she was crying in desperation her her daughter who was being comforted in the arms of someone else.