I forgot my dedication last time: This goes out to everybody who read my first chapter and said, "Hey, this is plagiarism! It sounds just like my story…" I'm putting myself in the line of fire here for you, guys. Read my reviews, apply them to your story, and make me glad I took that bullet!

So wow, lots of suggestions for Chapter 1. What I'm doing is separating them intotwo sets to be used for this chapter and the next, and then we'll go from there. So if you think of anything that could be used right now, go ahead and toss your ideas into the pot. Otherwise, feel free to wait until the next chapter is posted, because that one will have quite a few more drastic changes.

These are the ones the dog liked the best for this round:

Capitalize proper nouns. (Keira)

Don't list ages at the beginning of the story. (Marauder and the Q)

Remove POV tags. (mars on fire)

Remove author notes. (Jules)

Comma between city and state. (Theatrical Llama)

Fix punctuation around quotation marks. (xodamhsoirxo)

Fix the spelling. (AllzStar)

Use spell checker, and fix grammar. (Another Illusion)

Leave out the netspeak and just spell it out. (Tensleep)

Okay then, since some of these can be lumped together, here's the breakdown of corrections, along with the reasons I suspect they were suggested:

1. We'll call spelling, punctuation, and grammar one entity.
Why correct them? I want make it as easy as possible for my readers to understand what I'm trying to tell them. I don't want them having to backtrack to try and figure out what I might have meant. Included in this section are net speak (OMG! WTF?) and other abbreviations, as well as exclamation point overkill. Seriously! People don't get that excited! Not all at once! It makes the reader afraid! Very afraid! One or two sprinkled here and there are enough to get the feel of the moment across, but it's better to use stronger verbs and some adjectives that convey a feeling of fear, excitement, or astonishment.

2. Remove age list.
Why? Everything about the characters should be found within the story. A list at the beginning is tedious for the reader and requires them to memorize facts before they even start reading. This makes them not want to read my story, which goes against what I want.

3. Remove POV tags.
Why? They aredistracting and jarring when clumped together every other paragraph. Let the reader stay inside the head of the character you want them to get to know. And because this is written in first-person POV, it is even harder to drift to somebody else's head without confusing the reader. Therefore, all other points of view will be removed.

4. Remove author notes.
Why? They remind the reader that this is just a story and remove any tension from it. I, as the author, should be invisible to my readers.

5. Get rid of the stupid name.
Why? Not only is it difficult to pronounce and out-of-place, but it is distracting. Once again, I don't want my readers doing any work, or they might remember that I'm lurking out there somewhere.

Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. I am making no profit from this.

Save the OC

Chapter 2

I was walking down the street in this place called Tulsa, Oklahoma, because that's where I got off the bus. It was where I was making my new start. I moved away from my home in New York City because my mom died from a drug overdose when I was 5 and my dad started beating me. He beat me all the time, but mostly when he was drunk. He got drunk all the time. Sometimes when he beat me he even used things like his belt or a rolled up newspaper. That's why I was so tough. I was so tough that nobody could break through to my sensitive interior, because I had stopped trusting anyone a long time ago. I knew I would never let anyone hurt me again.

Flashback

"You're a stupid whore, Linda! Come over here so I can hit you again!"

"No! I hate you! I'm leaving!"

End flashback

I should tell you what my name is. My name is Linda Brown, and I am 16 years old. I know it's just a normal old name, but it's all mine.

My hair is a shiny jet black and goes all the way down the middle of my back. I'm small, about 5 feet 2 inches, and very petite, but I'm tough because I learned karate from one of the gangs I was in, back in New York. My eyes are a combination of gray, blue, green, and gold all in a pattern, kind of like a beach ball. When I'm angry, though, they turn dark and scary, because I won't let anyone know what I'm thinking. I really am sensitive, though, and like things like sunsets. But mostly I like to drag race.

As I was walking, I noticed a blue mustang was pulling up beside me. I tried walking faster, but six kids wearing madras got out and surrounded me. One of them reached out to touch my hair. "Hey, grease. I think we should cut off all this long shiny hair." "Don't you ever touch me!" I screamed furiously, and I grabbed his wrist and twisted it so he landed the sidewalk hard. Two of the other guys and one bitchy looking girl wearing low rise boot cut jeans and a camo tank top came after me. I kicked one of them in the head and broke a couple ribs on another one, but they kept coming and had me down in a second. "You're gonna pay for this, bitch!" one of them screamed, and they all started punching and kicking me. I was pretty close to blacking out, but they kept kicking me in the ribs and in the head and face and on the back. I felt a sharp pain in my arm and heard a crack and screamed, but they kept hitting me. One of them took out a knife and cut my arm.

"Hey, get away from her, you Soc jerks!" somebody screamed angrily, and everybody started running all at once. I didn't know what was going on. All of a sudden somebody was next to me with their strong protective arms around me helping me to sit up. "Don't move too much," he said.

Oh my God, I looked up into the most beautiful face I had ever seen. He looked like a movie star or a Greek god on earth. He had wheat gold hair that was long and silky and greased back. We looked deeply into each other's eyes. I could tell that he really liked me, but I didn't want him to know that I liked him, too. "Hahaha, Soda's got a girlfriend!" somebody said.

I looked up to see a guy with a leather jacket and rust colored sideburns laughing at us. The one he called Soda blushed and grinned at me again. "That's Two-Bit," he said, pointing happily. "His real name is Keith, but he always has to get his two bits in. And that one is Steve." He pointed to a guy with dark hair that had complicated swirls in it and an angry look on his face. "And the one over there with the white blond hair is Dally, don't mess with him," he said laughing recklessly. "And the quiet one is Johnny." I smiled and waved and he blushed and smiled at me. He was cute, like a puppy, and he seemed shy and maybe like he was kind of scared of me. "The big guy is my brother Daryl, but you can call him Darry, and the one next to him is my other brother Ponyboy."

I wanted to keep sitting there with Soda, but they were all standing there smiling at us, so I got up and shook all their hands. "My name is Linda," I told them.

"Hi Linda, it's nice to meet you," they all said.

Soda gave me a reassuring pat on the back. "You gotta place to stay?" he asked me worriedly.

"No, I just got into town." I looked down at the ground. "I was just goin' to hang out in that vacant lot over there until I find a better place to stay."

He shook his head forcefully. "No, you shouldn't be stayin' outside. You can come an' stay at our house for a while. We'll fix ya up. Right, Dar?"

"Yeah," Darry said. "I have a first aid kit."

I blushed happily and looked away. "I guess I can. But nobody better touch me," I said jokingly. We all laughed.

"You don't wanna be touched, better stay away from Soda," Two-Bit said jokingly. Everybody laughed again.

Johnny took off his jean jacket and put it over my shoulders. I smiled up at him and he blushed.

Darry, the bigger brother, slapped the younger one across the face. "Dammit, Pony, use your head! This girl is hurt!" He bent over, scooped me up, and carried me to their house, where he put me on the couch and started checking me all over for cuts and bruises. "Get me the bandages!" he yelled at Ponyboy.

The gang was so nice. I laid on the couch and let Darry fix me up, even when he had to lift up my shirt once and I felt myself blush. "Better not peek!" Two-bit yelled from across the room. Everybody laughed when I picked up the TV remote and threw it at him.

Darry said I had three broken ribs and a busted spleen, but I would be okay if I slept on the couch for a while. Soda kept coming over to check on me, and them him and Steve started wresting while Ponyboy sat down and read a book and Darry made dinner for all of us. Dally was sitting in the corner brooding, but every so often I could see him kind of look over like he wanted to make sure I was okay. And Johnny and Two bit put on Mickey Mouse and watched TV until dinner was ready. I kept hoping that Soda would come over and kiss me, because that was what the feeling was that I got from him when we were sitting together outside. I hoped we would have time alone together later. Even though he acted really happy, I could tell somebody had hurt him real bad. And I knew I could make him feel better.

It was only my first day in Tulsa, but I could tell that things were going to work out okay.

Next chapter will be up soon.