Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon. Harry Potter and company to JK Rowling. I'm just flattering through poor, poor imitation. All fun, no profit.

AN: Is it Buffy? Yes, it is! Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

A Bicycle in the Family Tree

Part 1

Buffy Summers, currently going by Anne for those who cared to know her name, was having a bad day. Of course, every day had been bad since the real kicker of a bad day, the day she plunged a sword into her boyfriend, sending him to hell. Looking back, one could even say this streak of supremely unstellar days had actually begun with the loss of said boyfriend's soul. But Buffy wasn't big on looking back. Or looking forward. She pretty much focused on the day to day stuff. And today was not going well.

She had arrived to work late, and had already received a lecture and threats of pay-docking and job loss from her boss. She had spilled coffee, soup, and some sort of stew down her already battle-stained uniform. And Marla had just informed her that there was a table of customers insisting on being served by her, and only her.

As she approached the table, the two people seated turned to watch. The boy was looking at Buffy in unveiled disgust. The woman, who judging by the similar delicate bone structure was the boy's mother, was looking at her in apparent adoration. Although incredibly rude, the disgust was at least understandable. Buffy knew that she looked like crap. The adoration on the other hand…

Buffy quickly glanced behind her, checking to make sure she wasn't coming between a loving husband-wife moment. The only other person in the woman's line of sight was an overweight and underdressed woman who was currently chowing down on a piece of pie.

Shrugging mentally, Buffy turned her attention back to the odd couple, and pulled out her notebook and pen.

"What can I get you guys to drink?"

"A bottle of tequila and two shot glasses," said the boy in a familiar accent.

Great, thought Buffy, British comedy. She had never really gotten into the shows that Giles had, from time to time, forced her to watch on PBS. He had tried to tell her it was dry humor. She had replied that "dry" was British for dull. He had sighed and cleaned his glasses…

" We don't serve alcohol here," she said, ruthlessly pushing away the memory. "But there's a bar down the street that I'm sure would be more than happy to meet your demands."

"Oh, no," said the woman, "we're not here to drink. Draco was just trying to be funny. You see we're actually here to see—"

"To see if there's anything on this menu that hasn't been pulled out of the rubbish heap of a better restaurant," interrupted Draco.

"Excuse me?" Buffy glared at him. "Is this more of you trying to be funny?"

Draco smirked. "No, but really. Is it possible to get a decent meal here?"

Buffy crossed her arms. "No. It's not. You see, all us waitresses spit in the food. And you don't want to know what the waiters do. So why don't you go get your food from somewhere else."

"Is there a problem here, Anne?"

Buffy winced and turned to face her boss.

"No, sir. I was just—"

"Just telling our customers that the food was. . . tainted? And that they should eat elsewhere? I told you when you came in late today that you were on probation. Now I'm a patient man, but consider yourself out of a job."

"Excuse me, sir," Draco broke in, "but it's really not her fault. I was antagonizing her on purpose."

"And why would you do that?"

"Well, because. . . because she's my sister. It's a— a family thing. Tormenting your siblings, and so on."

"Fine," said the boss. He glared at Buffy. "Last chance, Anne. Don't screw it up."

After the boss was out of earshot, Buffy smiled at Draco. "Thanks. I'm really surprised he fell for it, and I wouldn't have been in this situation if not for you, but thank you."

"Is it so unbelievable that you two could be brother and sister?" the woman asked.

"Mother," said Draco warningly.

Buffy sighed, once again remembering that this was a table of crazy people.

"So who wants to order?" she asked brightly.

"We didn't come here to eat," said the woman. "We came to talk to you."

"Damn it," muttered Draco, slumping into the chair.

Buffy looked from one to the other in confusion.

"You see, Anne," continued the woman, "Draco is indeed your brother. And I am your mother. We've come to take you home!"

"Ha, ha," said Buffy. "You two sure do like your little jokes. Now are you going to order or not?"

"It's not a joke, darling. You're my baby, my precious little girl that I was forced to give up."

Buffy shook her head.

"Look, I already have a mother. And I don't have a brother. No get some food or get out!"

The woman smiled, unfazed. "Your mother lets you work in a place like this?"

"Well, no. I'm not really living at home right now. Me and my mother. . . you know what? This is none of your business."

"You've left home? Wonderful," exclaimed the woman. Draco snorted.

"Really, mother. Could you have gone about this any more awkwardly?" He stood up and dropped some money on the table. "What time do you get off work?" he asked Buffy.

She stared at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, I'll just tell the crazy people when they can come kill me. Why don't I just give you my address?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "We're not crazy, we're not here to kill you. Come on, mother." He helped the woman out of her chair and began to escort her to the door. She pulled out of his grasp.

"Please, Anne. You have to believe me. Give me a chance. A chance to explain…"

Buffy stared into the woman's eyes. She felt like she was caught up in something beyond her control. Green eyes, filling with tears. Buffy had always wondered how she had ended up with green eyes when her mother's were blue and her father's were brown. Recessive genes, said a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Willow. Maybe. Maybe not.

"7:30," said Buffy. "At the park down the street."

She didn't watch them leave. She would be seeing them soon enough. Unfortunately, she also didn't watch where she was going, and a full-on collision with Marla added country gravy to her stains.

AN again: I had originally planned on having all the explanations out and done with in this chapter, but it ended here instead. Don't you love fics with minds of their own? So watch out for that next chapter. Hopefully it won't be as boring as I'm anticipating it to be.

~Eris~