All sayings of "I own nothing blah blah blah" still apply~ so no suing cause I really cant afford it much anyway…. And I would still be trying to get my ass removed from the wall when I got around to telling my parents, "Hey mom and dad, I'm getting sued by a huge famous anime company isn't that swell?" Enjoy~

Chapter 2: Izaya's P.O.V

Dark hands edged at my vision as I fell back into the nothingness that threatened my consciousness. I felt a glow sting my eyes as I opened them to see a room. A room that I knew. The walls were worn, the black marker seemed as vivid as the first day they consumed the walls. The curtains were dark, pulled closed leaving little light to filter through into the vacant room. I pulled myself up off the wooden floors, which were half beaten and worn with memories.

My vision blurred at the corners, as I continued to stare at and examine the familiar room. Then it clicked, as I remember it never really existed, not to anyone else. I looked into the corner where thick letters danced across the plastered walls.

THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN HAVE IN THIS WORLD, SO WHY DWELL IN FANTASIES?

I read this to myself and though for a moment. We dwell for the comfort of escape of reality ne? we dream of things we can never have because we don't believe we cant have them until we are gone…? Our own weakness limits us from pursuing these fantasies correct?

Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I continued across the room, placing my hands against the cold wall. Almost instantly I flinched and pulled my hands back, as if the chilled walls had shocked me.

"Izaya-kun," a voice called out, I looked around the dim room, surrounded by gloomy walls and bleak memories.

"Izaya-kun," it said again, seeming to be rough by my neck. My ears twitched as I turned around to meet my own shadow cast on the wall.

I searched for the voice, but there was nothing. Just the same loneliness that had captivated my being for years.

A light tear rolled down my face. I'm just so tired... of being alone. To achieve the role of God, is something I have sought for years, and yet as much as I surround myself with my humans and as much as I convince myself I am above their level, who is to say that I am? I cannot classify myself as a human nor a monster, so where does that leave me? Only to assume the role of God ne? But if I cannot be God, then where do I place myself? I only have the choice of God! For humans are to basic and can only assume positions of lower levels of power because they cannot except anything other than fact, or rely entirely on fiction, but they fall prey to their emotions and let them tear their mind apart. But a monster, a monster has no control, no morals; no human ties what so ever. So I must be a position of God! My emotions, my ties, my level….. Lead to what? Where has it brought me? God, what the hell is God? The creator of all beings, the basis of morals, the leader of religion, the one being that humans cannot see hear or meet, yet fear, love, and hate the most…The most confusing being of history, and yet the simplest to explain…. God is a puzzle, God is a fantasy…. God is love. God is hate. God…. Ha God is truly the basis of insanity itself; God is the source of blame. In a way, God is truth.

I laughed weakly at this, questioning my own sanity at this point. I wiped the fallen tear and divulged in my own feelings at the moment. The thought of being embraced in loved, is one that one can long for and pursue, but I've done so silently as to not lose my hard exterior and let it melt what logic I have. The thought of someone encasing their arms around my simple frame, is a thought that I can only dwell on. I shivered at the emptiness I felt as I dove further into a long needed realization.

Is it truly wrong to long for comfort after thriving on my own for years? Is it a sin within itself? I questioned myself further.

I looked at the graffited walls again.

I know what you are. You walls, you are the barriers I built for all those years, I paused, leaning against the sturdy walls. And the marker, aha! The marker resembles all the lies I had to tell myself to keep these damn walls from crumbling.

I gave out another shaky laugh.

And the voice, I started, peering up at the ceiling, The voice is the compassion that I could never truly feel.

I sighed now, beginning to feel weightless, falling backwards into the darkness.

Tears fell in reverse as I fell through my never ending subconscious, the familiar silver blade that I wielded now slashing through the yellow tape that bound me to the room.

And I, the infamous Izaya Orihara, am the one who yearns for the love that I can never experience.

End chapter 2

Okay people who have read, I hope not to offend any lovers of God in the making of this crappily written chapter, and I know that Izaya seems waaaay out of character to some, but that is just how he will be in some of these chapters, which will become clear in due time I promise, but I mustn't say too much, or that will just ruin the fun no? Any who please leaves reviews they make me happy. Feel free to flame if you wish, but I probably wont give a crap anyways ^^ And im free to suggestions for corrections and upcoming chapters! Bear with me as I continue to write and as always…. Happy reading =)

~Eri-chan