Author's Note: I hope everyone enjoys this! I needed a palate cleaner from working on my main Undertale story, Living Music, since I got writer's block, so I wrote this chapter.
This chapter uses the song Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons. I recommend listening to it before reading this if you haven't heard it before and you have an accessible way to listen to music on hand.
Chapter 2: Bleeding Out
Percy was trying to do homework, but curse it all to Hades if it wasn't hard to concentrate on writing a research paper when the words of the reference work were printed in an annoyingly small font that made his dyslexia act up even worse than usual. He wished that he could get a Greek translation, but New Rome College only had English or Latin, and while Latin was better on his dyslexia than English, he wasn't fluent in it yet, so he was stuck with English in most cases. His eyes strained to read the words, and he found himself alternatively fidgeting and staring off into space as his brain refused to focus and looked for any way out.
Knowing that no amount of just staring at the words would help him to focus, he put on some background music. Last time he'd Iris-Messaged Rachel for a friendly chat to see how things were going back at Camp Half-Blood, she'd suggested a few different bands for him to listen to, so he had checked out albums from the library. He now picked up the first one he saw, Night Visions by Imagine Dragons, and put it into a CD player, and he smiled as the familiar song Radioactive came on. He let the song run its course, laying back with his eyes closed as he let the music flow over him. Once the song was done and the next track began to play, Percy forced himself to get back to work, turning the music down a little to let it run in the background and assist him in the monumental task of focusing on words.
He made some pretty good progress, having written a couple of paragraphs over the course of the next few tracks, before his brain gave up again, and he found himself rereading sentences multiple times without getting any meaning out of them. He wished that he had Annabeth to help him, since, even though she wouldn't find the actual reading any easier, she'd be able to help him comprehend it, but she was currently working on her own homework. Better yet, he wished that one of his non-dyslexic friends, such as Rachel or Frank (though he still didn't know why Frank wasn't dyslexic like most demigods… maybe it was the Canadian genetics), was there to read the material aloud to him and help him out, but Rachel was still back home on the East coast (and reading text through an Iris-Message is a pain, even for non-dyslexic people), and Frank was busy with his own studies.
As Percy gave up and let the music flow over him, he stopped paying attention to anything in particular and let his thoughts wander, so he was only vaguely aware when the track changed.
I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you
For you
Percy hardly listened, just letting his mind wander, even as the song's beat picked up and attracted some of his attention.
When the day has come that I've lost my way around
Percy's thoughts remained mostly idle.
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground
Anything involving underground had memories attached to it, and most were terrible. The worst of them, images of Tartarus, flashed through Percy's mind, and he tried to dismiss them.
When the sky turns grey and everything is screaming
More unpleasant memories of Tartarus rang though his mind. He wanted to turn the song off, but he couldn't quite find the energy or motivation to do so.
I will reach inside just to find my heart is beating
There had been times back then when Percy had wondered if he was even alive. Death had always seemed right there, pulling at him and at Annabeth, trying to claim them.
Oh, you tell me to hold on
Oh, you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong
That whole time had been so hard for him. He had learned so much in all the wrong ways, and his mind had nearly broken at a couple of points. He remembered being surrounded by horrible terrain, he remembered being narrowly saved by Bob the Titan on several occasions, he remembered the journey through the Mansion of Night when running from Nyx, he remembered fighting off the arai… there had been so much that happened, and it hurt to remember.
Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
He thought about the fight with the arai in particular. He remembered how impossible it was to fight the spirits of curses, and how his attacks on them inflicted pain on him and on Annabeth.
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
Percy remembered the sheer number of the arai, and he remembered the moment of shock as they declared themselves to be the spirits of curses wished upon him. He had fought so many monsters, but he'd been doing the right thing. Being punished for it, like it was somehow sinful… being forced to count these "sins"… it had been so hard.
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you
For you
He remembered trying so hard to fight to protect Annabeth, even while he was dying in a dozen different ways with dozens more wounds and pains (the uncontrollable tic in his right eye was still somehow the most annoying of all of them, mostly because he had no idea why anyone would specifically curse him like that with their dying breath, and partly because he thought of it anytime his eye twitched for any reason). He remembered wanting to give up or run away, anything instead of fighting the arai and bringing more curses on himself, but he had kept going for Annabeth's sake.
When the hour is nigh, and hopelessness is sinking in
He couldn't think of a time when he had felt more hopeless and helpless than when he was unable to reach Annabeth and was stuck watching her blindly stumble around, unable to fight or flee.
And the wolves all cry to fill the night with hollering
The mocking, echoing voice of the arai still haunted him, though he had had a couple of years of distance from the event.
When your eyes are red and emptiness is all you know
Another memory pierced him: the betrayed look on Bob's face as he finally remembered what Percy had done to him. That stricken expression was burned into Percy's mind, and he felt guilty every time he thought of Bob. Sure, he didn't regret taking Bob's memories of being Iapetus in the first place, but he did regret simply leaving Bob with Hades. He did regret not telling Bob anything about who he had used to be.
With the darkness fed, I will be your scarecrow
Percy wished that the darkness could be fed. Even now, years later, areas dimly lit in red made him uncomfortable, as they reminded him of Tartarus. Tartarus was still there, deep in the core of the earth, and it always would be.
You tell me to hold on
Oh, you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong
It had been such an ironic experience, fighting the arai. It was right to fight off these spirits that attacked him and Annabeth, but yet, it had been wrong to kill them, since he had brought himself closer to death with every one that he had struck down, as Annabeth had, too, and one of Percy's own curses had affected Annabeth by separating them while she was blind.
Cause I'm bleeding out
Red filled his memories.
So if the last thing that I do
It had nearly been the last thing he had done.
Is to bring you down
He had indirectly brought Annabeth and Bob down while trying to do the right thing.
I'll bleed out for you
Curses had racked his body, but he had been ready to die to protect them.
So I bare my skin
He remembered the moment when he switched to a suicidal fury, attacking the arai heedless of the consequences.
And I count my sins
He had sliced down so many of the arai, not even counting as he took them down.
And I close my eyes
He remembered when the gorgon's blood curse had hit him, taking all of his strength…
And I take it in
…and leaving him with nothing but pain.
And I'm bleeding out
He had hardly cared, though.
I'm bleeding out for you
He had been prepared - and still was, if ever there was need again - to die the most painful death on earth to protect Annabeth
For you
Percy tried to find the strength to get up and turn off the song, but it wouldn't come. He managed to roll onto his stomach, but all energy left him after that. Tears made their way from his eyes and were absorbed into his pillow as he was bombarded by painful memories. Phantom aches, memories of pain, flowed through his body as he remembered the sensations of being stabbed, slashed, and poisoned.
(I'm bleeding out for you)
(For you)
(I'm bleeding out for you)
(For you)
He could imagine most of this song as being written from him to Annabeth. He truly had been bleeding out for her, holding onto only the tiniest sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could kill them all so that she could get away.
(I'm bleeding out for you)
(For you)
(I'm bleeding out for you)
Pain… sorrow… hopelessness… helplessness… Percy could hardly form a coherent thought as the music unrelentingly washed over him.
Cause I'm bleeding out
Red
So if the last thing that I do
Dying
Is to bring you down
Despair
I'll bleed out for you
Curses
So I bare my skin
Determination
And I count my sins
Fury
And I close my eyes
Poison
And I take it in
Pain
And I'm bleeding out
Acceptance
I'm bleeding out for you
Love
For you
Love
The music faded into an electric guitar chord that whined in what seemed to be sympathy to Percy's pain. He laid there and let the CD go to the next track, which was a far more upbeat song called Underdog. This next one was relatable without being too painful, and he relaxed as it played. When it was over and the next track started, he found the energy to get up and pause the CD player. He put on his shoes and a jacket, though the jacket was for comfort more than warmth on the fairly nice day. Logically, Percy knew that he needed to stay and do homework. Logically, he knew that Annabeth was busy right now. Still, it was hard to convince himself that all was fine when part of his mind was protesting that it clearly was not.
So it was that Percy made his way into the girls' side of the dorms and knocked on Annabeth's door. When she opened it, she looked like she was about to scold him for interrupting her work, but her expression melted into concern, undoubtedly from seeing the redness in his eyes and face. She wordlessly invited him into the room and led him to her bed, where they innocently cuddled as Percy shed a few more tears, remembering how he'd almost lost Annabeth on countless occasions.
Still, Annabeth was his anchor, as always, and he felt himself relaxing as he held her tight, never wanting to let go. Memories were hard to get past, and he knew that little things such as songs would trigger them for years to come, not unlike for a soldier with PTSD, but he also knew that Annabeth would be there for him no matter what, just as he would be there for her. Even beyond death, they would see each other in Elysium. Percy was sure of that.
Letting his pain and stress unwind as he held Annabeth close, Percy fell asleep, and his sleep was mercifully dreamless aside from a general sense of light, peace, and love.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed. Please review and let me know what you think.
PLEASE also give me suggestions for what to do next! I have a bit of a fun idea involving a song, but it would be far different from the previous two chapters, and I'm not sure it would work. Even if it does, I still need ideas on what to do next. When submitting, please put:
Song title and artist
Character (or characters) listening to it
Memory (or memories) associated with it
If you have an idea that breaks the format a little, that's cool, too! Just explain to me what you have in mind. :)
I have no guarantees for when any of my stories come out, but, depending on suggestions, interest, and inspiration, the next chapter should be out fairly soon. See you then!