Author's Note: Second part. Nonsensical drabble stemming from a theory about Shisui's state of mind. That Mangekyou of his, you know, it's pretty strange. One would think that there has to be some kind of effect, and the effect I chose was Shisui going batshit insane.
Rating: K+ For kissing/biting.
"I love you." Shisui presses a kiss to Itachi's face, just to the side of his lips, and then another on his lips. Itachi holds still, and the kiss turns to a painful bite, the marks leaving behind blood.
This is not love. Shisui confirms this with his next words as he pulls back. "I hate you." Itachi also knows that this is not hate. His cousin cups Itachi's face and searches his gaze. Itachi can see more in Shisui's gaze than he himself shows. There is want and need, mixing into something that can only be satisfied by touch. Of course, Shisui is confused. Itachi can't remember the last time Shisui wasn't confused. His mind is now sharp in all the wrong ways, as he can still make the calculations on where to put the bombs to kill everyone in one room and one room alone, but he cannot remember why he needs to.
Disgust was swimming in his eyes, too. Petulant disgust that had no defined source, as the other emotions made it clear that it was not welcome there. Its sister was jealousy, of what Itachi could not name. It was no doubt a creation of Shisui's mind; he had been told in a falsetto voice that Shisui wanted his hair, and then had it yanked.
But behind it all was what drove the touches and the kisses and the bites. Fear swam there, behind his eyes. Fear of Itachi. Fear of the world. Fear of loud noises and sharp words and pain. Fear of the softest of touches and whispers of a lover (friend, whatever they could be called).
It was a fear of himself. Not for himself, of. Shisui was scared of what his own mind would do to him as the voices inside of it shrieked and tormented him, led him to believe things that were unreal about him. That was the key. About him. About. These things had always been real in someone else's mind, and when they entered his, he believed them as the other had. But they started clashing, until when Shisui had three people to his mind, he had three different voices giving him three different reactions to different things.
Shisui had more than three. Shisui had hundreds, all scrunched into his brain and leaving their mark on him.
So these fearful acts, panicked kisses and touches? They were all
desperation.