A/N: First, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and/or followed. Your interest in my little foray into Inspector Spacetime pseudo-canon is appreciated~
Secondly, I own neither Community or Doctor Who.
Thirdly, Allons-y! (or Arriba! as the case may be.)
Chapter Two
Constable Reggie awoke groggily. He sat up groggily. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and how he had got there, and he took a moment to survey the scene. He was on a space ship, a proper space ship and apparently a pretty battered one. The whole place screamed space age, all chrome and glass and straight edges and metal grates on the floor covering the tubes that did God-knows-what. It wasn't as shiny as he thought it should be. Wasn't the future supposed to be all white and austere but strangely comfortable?
A groan slipped out as he sat up, letting his savior know he was awake.
A second later, she was by the bench built into the wall that must have served her as a bed, concern in her big blue eyes. "Are you okay now?" He looked up at her, but said nothing. She leaned in a little closer and waved her hands in front of his eyes. "Hello?"
"Hello," he said timidly, rubbing the back of his head.
"Hello," she replied, giving him a winning smile that set his heart beating just a little faster.
He chuckled nervously. "Let's not get into that again."
She laughed with him. "Fair enough."
The Constable stood up, steadying himself on the metallic walls. "So, um… I don't believe I caught your name?"
"I didn't give it." Her smile broadened, her entire face lighting up with amusement. She fished a small piece of paper out of her leather jacket and handed it to him. "Professor Lillian Taylor. I'm here undercover as a general in the Astroforce. Off-duty, of course," she winked at him, "but I'm really here studying the Third System war for a paper. Didn't realize it'd be so exciting. But youcan call me Lily."
"Cool mental memopad," Reggie said, turning it over.
"Sorry, what?" Her smile had faded a little, but the Constable hadn't noticed.
"It's a mental memopad, right? I have a friend that uses this all the time," he glanced up at her and grinned. This was where he was comfortable; the weird and alien and ever slightly so dangerous. "It's supposed to tell me whatever you want it to, right? But this… this says that you're single and a tad on the adventurous side." He handed it back to her.
"Mental memopads are tricky things," she said as she accepted the proffered pad.
"Mm. Can't let your mind wander when you're handing it off."
"Right you can't. And according to this, you have a sort-of girlfriend back home called Minnie Schmidt, but you consider yourself available. Very available, actually," she teased. "Very very."
Reggie felt heat pooling into his cheeks, his eyes flicking down to the floor. "Um, maybe we can try getting along without the mental memopad, huh?"
"We could try it."
Reggie took a step, surveying the ship. It was smaller than he had thought originally. About the size of the inside of the DARSIT when there were only two people, just big enough for two people to cohabitate without running into each other all the time, but still pretty cramped. "Nice ship."
"Thank you," she said, accepting the compliment gracefully.
"Yeah, it's very Star Trek."
Lily's smile faltered. "I'm sorry?"
"Nothing," he shook his head. "So, you said you were here studying the war? Guess you're not from around here then, huh?"
She arched an eyebrow at him. "With your antiquated cell phone and cotton-poly blend, I'd guess you're either a very dedicated 21st century reenactor, or you're not from around here either."
"You'd guess right," he said, as he walked down what there was of the hall, eventually getting to what appeared to be a Captain's chair. A wave of dizziness hit him as he approached and he had to grab the nearest wall to stop himself from falling.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just a little…"
Lily stepped inside of his space, peering at him with a small frown. Without permission, she grabbed each of his eyelids in turn and held them up, staring into each eye with a strange intensity.
"Hey, what are you…?"
"It appears you've been a tad addledby the tractor beam. More than is normal, anyway. Never fear, though. I'll have you patched up in a minute." She looked down at her wrist, at a cuff with what appeared to be a screen inside. She jabbed at it a few times and a small swarm of golden motes danced about his head, putting the world back into focus.
She looked at his eyes again. "You know, you can stop pretending now. I know you're a Chronocop. You have all the hallmarks, and the outfit isn't exactly subtle. I don't know how you expected to fool one of your own. Well, former one of your own."
"A what now?"
"A Chronocop," she repeated slowly, as if his brain damage might not be caused by the tractor beam after all. "You know, running around space and time, setting aberrations to rights, and mucking it up more often than not? You mustbe new. I've been expecting one of you to track me down for a while now, though I have to say I did not expect you to fall off a hovercraft."
"Yeah… sometimes I just get a little… carried away. Hey, so what were those fireflies?"
She arched an eyebrow at him. "You must be rattled. They're called picodriods. Subatomic robots. The air is full of them- that was just them manifesting to fix your head. But let's get down to business, shall we?"
"Business?"
"Yes, business," she gave him an anticipatory grin. "Shall we have a drink first? I never like doing business sober. Takes all the fun out of it." She turned, pressing a button on her wrist computer. To Reggie's surprise, it caused a part of the ceiling to descend, turning into stairs. "Grab those glasses, will you?" She added, as she snagged a bottle and went up to the roof.
The Constable did as he was bid and followed her upstairs, into the night sky.
What he saw shocked him. They were in space, wheeling slowly through an ever shifting tableau of stars, but he could breathe, and the pressure hadn't changed in the slightest. "How…?"
"Oh, do you not have atmo-stabilizing fields where you come from? I was going to park on New Earth, but with the war and everything, I didn't think it safe," Lily said, "Can't have my ride getting blown up accidently."
Reggie looked down with a yelp, as he saw nothing but the expanse of space stretching down below him.
She laughed, a rich sound that made his hair stand on end, though it might have been the idea of floating in space without dying. Then he heard a whirring sound, and a shape materialized below him.
"You have an invisible spaceship? That's so cool!"
"Mm. Tethered it up to one of the moons, so it won't get lost or destroyed," Lily went on. "Shall we have that drink now?" With an expert move, she popped the cork on the bottle, laughing at his surprise, and poured them a dram.
The Inspector had finally tracked down the girl the silhouette was after, back to their lair in a seedier section of town. It had taken him a tad longer than he thought it would, but they were still there when he arrived.
"Evening," He said as he entered the basement they were holed up in. The young woman whipped around, her eyes wide.
"How did you find us? Nobody has ever…"
"I'm quite the experienced tracker, as it turns out.. As is that thing that is chasing you and your men. Looks like a man, but isn't, and it started a few weeks ago, correct?" The young woman stared, which he took as an invitation to go on. "The thing I'm looking for – it landed then, and you know exactly what I'm referring to, don't you."
The young woman frowned, looking lost, and one of her men stepped up. "Nancy, you don't have to…"
"Please," The Inspector interrupted. "I'm only here to help."
The young woman, Nancy, nodded. "Something materialized in Trafalgar Square about that time. We thought it was a bomb, but it didn't explode, or do anything really. It just sat there. Soldiers came out in droves to secure the area – whole place is on lockdown now. You'd never get near it."
"You'd be surprised what I am capable of, when I want something."
"Then there's someone you need to see first. The Inspector," His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "He was the first one on the scene." She straightened up, and turned back to her men. "You stay here, I'll be back in a jiff." And with that she strode out of the hideout, only pausing when she got to the door to throw the Inspector a look. "Well come on, if you're coming."
"Actually, I should be getting back. The Inspector… Well, he's probably wondering where I am and…"
Lily pouted prettily at the Constable. "You haven't even finished your drink yet, and besides. We were just getting to the good part." She took a sip of her champagne and walked towards him. "So… I take it you're not traveling alone, but are you authorized by your superiors to negotiate?"
"Negotiate what?"
Lily sighed and leaned in, until they were only inches apart. "I have what you've been looking for, that the Chrono Constabulary has been looking for. Your secret weapon. And I'm willing to give it back, for a price. Are you authorized to discuss payment?"
Reggie swallowed, and leaned as far back as his footing would allow. "I should probably talk to my… associate, first."
She arched a brow and quirked her lips. "Associate?" She closed the gap between them, placing a hand on his chest. "Just how disappointed should I be, hm?"
His throat went dry. "Um… we're standing in the middle of space, during an alien attack. Should we really be flirting or…"
Lily made a moue of disappointment, but stepped back. "As you wish."
"Well," he retracted quickly. "We don't have to stop, really… I mean…"
Her very expressive eyes danced. "Do you like Glenn Millar?" Suddenly, before he had time to process, there was music playing and she was in his arms, twirling him about. On a spaceship tethered to the moon. His head was spinning from too much champagne and the scent of her.
"It's the year 31,042, Common Earth Era on the Universally Recognized Timeline. The height of the Third System War, in the middle of what will be known as the New Earth Thunder. And right in the middle of it all sits your secret weapon against the Blorgon menace, developed and completed circa 51,563," she whispered in his ear as they waltzed. "And I know exactly where it is, because I put it there. And I'm willing to give it back to you, if you can just name the right price. But you'll have to be quick. In only a few hours, a Reichian bomb will fall in the middle of New New London, wiping out a good quarter of the city, and incidentally, that quarter is where your weapon is. So, you have a deadline rapidly approaching. Shall we discuss payment?"
Reggie's mind raced, finding it difficult to keep up with a beautiful young woman pressed against him, one hand on his chest, the other playing along his wrist. "Were you saying something just there?"
All coyness went out of her like a light going out, and she stepped back just a little to give him room to breathe. "Two hours, then the bomb goes off and there will be nothing left. Are you getting any of this?"
"You, uh, used to work for the Chrono Constabulary, but you stole this miraculous super weapon and are now trying to blackmail them."
She leaned in again, eyes dancing. "Blackmail is such an ugly term, but… that's the idea of it. So, this… associate of yours. Is he the one I should be bargaining with?"
Reggie smirked a little. "I delegate most of the bargaining to him, yeah. Gives me time for more… importantthings." He pulled her closer, just a little.
"Then perhaps we should find him, hm?" With one last brush of her generous chest against his, she stepped back, out of his reach. "I'll just scan for alien tech and…"
Reggie watched as she typed away at her wrist computer, impressed. Finally, here was someone who knew what she was doing.