Chapter 2: A Restless Mind

Emma walked down the stairs and sighed.

"He's finally asleep," Emma said to her parents who were sitting at the table a few days later. Emma pulled out a chair and sat down next to the, her hand coming up to her eyes to rub them.

"How are you holding up," Mary Margaret asked.

Emma shook her head, "I don't know." She looked directly at her parents. "How could Regina do something like this, how could Hook?"

Mary Margaret took Emma's hand, "Sometimes a person's own vendetta can overshadow the needs of someone else."

"But what about Henry? I can understand the need of hurting Gold but Henry, how could she do that to her own son? Does she just not care?"

"I don't know," said David. "Maybe she doesn't anymore."

Emma couldn't sit any longer. The day had been a day of fighting and Neal had been an unfortunate casualty of that.

"Emma," said Mary Margaret, "Talk to us," she said to her daughter knowing there was more to Emma's anger than she was letting on.

Emma took a deep breath trying to keep herself together.

"I can't," she said her voice quivering.

Emma took another breath hoping it would help. She then turned to her parents. "Henry's asleep but I need you to look after him for me for a while. You can go to bed or whatever, I just don't want him to be alone," she said grabbing her red leather jacket from the rack.

She hadn't worn it in a while but now she felt she needed it, she needed the comfort, the armor.

"Emma, it's late," said Mary Margaret worrying about her.

"I can't sleep right now even if I wanted to. I need to go clear my head."

Emma opened the door and left not bothering to say anything else.

David and Mary Margaret looked at each other feeling for their daughter wishing there was some way they could help her.

Despite being here hours earlier, Emma still found herself drawn back. The cleanup had been taken care of and there had been no evidence to show that a battle had taken place.

Emma sighed as she thought back to what had occurred.

"How lovely," Hook said to Neal, "The son to save the father."

"I don't give a damn about him," Neal said to Hook.

"Oh sure but he gives a damn about you, that's why you're here," Hook said with a smile.

Cora made a lunge at Neal but before she could reach in and rip out his heart Emma had, as once before, jumped in front of Neal, Cora's hand going into Emma's chest but not being able to pull anything out.

"Mom!" Henry called out.

Cora turned at the sound of Henry's voice but Emma didn't. She had to stay focused. A blast from inside sent Cora flying.

"Henry," said Regina surprised that the boy showed up. She hated his babysitters tonight. He shouldn't be here.

Regina watched as her mother traveled several feet back. She turned to Emma.

"Guess it's time for plan B. You can't be in two places at once Miss Swan," she said with a smile.

Emma turned to see Hook holding onto Neal. Gold had tried to fight him off but magic was protecting him from getting close.

Before anyone could make a move, Hook drove his hook into Neal's chest.

"Dad!"

"Neal!"

"No!"

Emma closed her eyes to blink back the memory. Near the trees she could hear some rustling in the dark.

"Who's there?" she called out.

"It's just me Miss Swan," Gold said coming into view.

"Gold, what are you doing here?"

"Same as you I suppose."

Emma looked at Gold. She hated the man more than she ever thought it was possible to hate anyone.

It had only been three months ago that she had discovered he was Neal's father. Neal had his issues with Gold, returning to Storybrooke only for Henry's sake but wanting nothing to do with him. Only in the past couple of weeks had Neal tried to work things out but Gold hadn't made it easy, continually using magic as a clutch in order to fix things.

Neal had come to know about Emma's magic but he had seen her differently. Unlike his father, Emma only used magic when necessary and only as a last resort. She had grown up in this world and would have rather handled situations based on what she knew rather than what she was born with. And unlike his father, Emma wasn't selfish when it came to her magic. She used it to help people, protect them without asking for anything in return.

Emma could no longer stand being here. She could no longer stand being around Gold so she began to walk away without saying a word.

"Miss Swan," Gold said to her. "I'd like to see Henry. I'd like to see my grandson."

That was the final straw in her very short fuse. In any other situation given that Gold had never directly harmed Henry she would have been okay with them visiting as long as she or Neal were present but not this time.

She turned to him, "I won't allow that."

"Please, he's all that I have left of my boy."

"No, he's all that I have left of him! You think after everything you can just- you and Hook have been at this war for far too long that you don't care who gets hurt in the process."

"Okay you're angry, you're not thinking clearly."

"No I am. Hook may have killed him but your finger was on that trigger. You're just as responsible as Hook, as Cora, as Regina. I don't care if you're blood related, Neal was right to stay away from you so now I'm gonna make damn sure you stay away from his kid!"

Emma walked back to her car leaving Gold to stand alone on the highway.

Emma drove for a little while longer until she arrived back home but it wasn't the family apartment that she was going to.

After spending a couple weeks at the bed and breakfast Neal had gotten an apartment on the floor beneath hers.

At first Emma had rejected the idea. Henry of course had been excited. Neal had meant what he said to her in New York, that he wouldn't do to Henry what his own father had done to him and what he had done to her. He intended to stick around and getting a permanent place was part of that. Still at the beginning Emma had thought him being around would mean living somewhere in Storybrooke, not directly beneath her apartment.

Emma now fumbled with her key, the key that Neal had given her so that she and Henry could visit him as they pleased. Once the door was unlocked she made her way inside and turned on the lights.

It bothered her being in the apartment when Neal was no longer here.

Her eyes diverted to the window where the dream catcher was placed. Emma remembered the day Neal moved in. It was one of the first things he put up when he had arrived.

The place was so like Neal, most of his belongings from his New York apartment were here. Now though there were not just items of a bachelor but of a father. Pads of paper and colored pencils were on the table and spread across the room was various photos of him and Henry, even a few with her in them.

They had been getting close to something. Things could never go back to how they were eleven years but time had begun to heal, it would always leave scars but situations were mending. She and Neal had been spending more alone time together. Henry had often teased that she and his dad were falling in love all over again. Even her own parents had seen it.

Emma made her way down the hall to his bedroom. She hesitated as she neared the dresser. On the wooden corner of it, her swan key chain necklace was hanging. Emma brought her hand to her chest as she got closer, remembering the day she had taken it off after wearing it for years. With shaky hands she took it down and hung it around her neck. Emma promised herself to never take it off again.

She had told Neal the partial truth when she removed it that afternoon in the bar. She wore it to remind herself never to trust again but also because she was never sure she could trust anyone after all the trust she had placed in him and secretly believing that somehow it would lead her to him again.

Emma made her way to the bed and lay down. She felt physically and mentally drained. The events of the day came flooding back and the realization that Neal would never return began to sink in.

She didn't care that the tears were starting to flow.

"Emma," Mary Margaret whispered as she stood standing over her daughter, her daughter's back toward her.

Emma whimpered, "He's gone," she said, "he's not coming back."

Emma hated that she was using those words once again but they were true.

Mary Margaret looked at Emma, her heart breaking for her daughter. She walked over and lay next to her, her right hand rubbing Emma's arm and then tucking some of her blonde hair behind her ear as Emma continued to cry through the night.

She was actually grateful for her mother's comfort but that didn't stop the pain.

The tears continued and Emma placed her face in the pillow to let out a small scream. She hated feeling like this. She wanted things to go back to the way they were, she wanted Neal to come back so that they could finish what they were starting. She loved him and it was only now that she was finally able to admit it to herself.

"Emma," she heard him call out. "Emma wake up."

Emma's eyes opened and she adjusted them.

"Neal," she said seeing him in a spirit form that reminded her of the ghosts in Star Wars.

Neal's eyes widened, "Whoah, you can see me? I was just expecting you to hear my voice. This is even better."

"I miss you," she said to him surprised that those were the first words to come out of her mouth.

"I haven't gone anywhere," said Neal, "Not technically."

"But you're not here."

"No but I could be."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not dead Emma, I'm still alive."

"Emma, Emma."

"Neal," Emma called out.

"Emma," she heard again.

Emma turned at the sound of her mother's voice. She looked at the bed confused as to when she had gotten up and walked toward the door.

Mary Margaret sat on the bed and looked at her.

"You okay?"

Emma looked toward the hall where Neal had been standing just moments before. She turned to Mary Margaret.

"I'm fine," she said. "We should probably get back. Henry will be awake soon."

Mary Margaret nodded and stood up.

"And thanks," said Emma, "For last night I mean."

Mary Margaret stood up and walked toward Emma taking her hand and squeezing it. "You're welcome," she said with a warm smile.