CHAPTER TWO

Next Day

Penthouse

Sam sat with her feet curled underneath her reading the information that she had received from the Whole Hearts Adoption agency. She couldn't figure out what made her more nervous: the thought of having another chance at Motherhood or the conversation she would need to have with Jason. Sure she had hinted around when they had seen babies out. She would make statements such as "If I got big and pregnant, would you still find me attractive?" or "I wonder what your baby will look like?". Jason's typical response was too kiss her forehead and keep on doing what they were doing before they saw the child.

Sam recognized that Jason didn't do hints to well, he was very literal. She knew that he respected honesty above everything else and she had been living a lie. She thought that it would be enough for it to just be her and Jason, but in her heart of hearts she knew that she longed to have a child. She had been so close to having it all and the Lila died. Part of her died too and although she could never replace her daughter, she longed to give another child the same love and devotion she would've gave her own daughter.

Sam heard the keys turn in the door and quickly gathered the pamphlets off the couch and put them in the desk drawer. She sat up and smiled as Jason walked in. Jason was on the phone giving orders to someone. Sam quickly recognized that Jason was in enforcer mode and sat quietly on the couch and waited for him to acknowledge her.

Fifteen minutes later, Jason hung up the phone. Sam immediately went over to him, where he hugged her and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Hey you," Sam said in a soft voice "is everything okay?"

"Not really" Jason said as he separated himself from Sam and made his way to the refrigerator. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer and then held one up for Sam. She politely shook her head no as he made his way over to the couch and sat down.

"There was a problem with shipment"

"Nothing too serious, I hope" Sam said as she sat back down on the couch.

"Not yet, but something doesn't feel right. If we can't resolve this problem, I'll be going to Sheepheads Bay in Brooklyn to oversee it"

"Is that dangerous?" Sam asked, immediately fearing the worst for the man she loved

"Everything I do involves a certain amount of risk, Sam. If you're asking me if I will get killed, I'd say no but in my line of work there are no guarantees"

Sam's face went white with Jason's last statement. She had always known the risks associated with his job but for the first time she started to think how his absence would affect their child they adopted. How would she explain that daddy wouldn't be home for 7-10 years or worst yet, daddy was never going to come home again.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked, concern shining through in his beautiful blue eyes

"I-" Sam started but was soon interrupted as the door to the penthouse flung open revealing an irate Carly on the other side.

"Jason, we need to talk now" The loud blonde demanded, not even taking the time to acknowledge Sam

"I'll leave you two alone" Sam said as she got off the couch. Secretly she was glad that Carly saved her from having to talk with Jason. She realized she needed to think things over before talking with Jason about her desire to adopt.

"Sam," Jason called out. Sam turned from her position on the steps and looked at him "you sure you're okay?"

"Jase, I'm fine" She said as she turned her back and continued to walk upstairs. She heard Carly immediately begin to bombard him with questions regarding the added security detail. As she closed the door to the bedroom, she sat on the bed and just stared into nothingness and she debated whether the life with her future child would still mean the same with the possible absence of its father.