Jon

When did I first know I loved Daenerys Targaryen.

I think, it was about ten seconds after I entered that intimidating throne room, on Dragonstone.

There she was, perched on that impressive stone throne, radiating a level of beauty, the likes, I had never seen before.

I was immediately, in awe, slightly unsettled, and extremely aroused. The Nights Watch, had taught me to guard my feelings well, and this occasion was no different. Even, as all those thoughts and feeling coursed through me, I remembered that, she was not only highborn, but Valerian royalty. Even if Daenerys did not sit on the Iron Throne, she was a Queen, in every sense of the word. Her regalness, oozed out of every pore, and unnerved me.

I smirked, as I handled one of her silver curls, wondering what she was thinking of it all.

On the long journey, from White harbour to Dragonstone, I truthfully had no idea what to expect, from the mad King's daughter. My mind was consumed with what lay beyond the wall. I had no time for her claims on Westeros. There would not be a Westeros, if the Night King was not stopped, and what I wanted, was the dragon glass, and possibly a dragon or two, to help with the great war.

I thought, that as soon as I told her about the threat from the North, that she would be on board. Daenerys was more interested in impressing me with all her titles, her armies and her dragons. In her mind, it was I, who was the usurper, she was far more interested in me bending the knee, than the threat in the north. At that moment, as far as she could see, the biggest threat in the north was me. Daenerys required my fealty before she could continue with anything, I had to bend the knee. Of course, when she ordered me to, I refused.

I am, after all a king!

A barstard king!

But, a king nevertheless;

Every king needed a Queen, and I had seen mine 10 seconds after I entered that throne room.

However, I am a proud northerner, and our women although strong and true, knew their husband was lord. I did not want to control Daenerys, but I did not want, her to control me either. I could see by the way everyone hung on her last word, that she was in charge. I was more democratic, my time with the free folk had changed my whole way of thinking. If we ever had a relationship, which after two minutes I thought it would be unlikely; It would be a partnership, and we would stand together. The Queen would have to come off her high throne, and be a woman, I could not accept her any other way.

This allowed me to suppress my feelings for her, and push it to the back of my mind. Even when Ser Davos asked me, what I thought of her? I truthfully meant "there was no time for all of that".

Yes, I gazed at her longer than I should, and had even dreamt about her, but I did not make one move.

I was not smooth like Rob, my only genuine experience being Ygritte. Ygritte hated all the airs and graces, and was real. Daenerys was royalty, and although, I was head over heels in love, I would not be like all the others. I refused to be her puppet. So, I put up barriers, and kept everything on an even kiln. Although our tongues said nothing, we communicated our truth through our eyes. I saw her eyes ask the question, If I stared so hard at her, why had I not fallen penitently at her feet. My dark pupils gave nothing away.

I intrigued her, probably annoyed her, and I knew I had gotten under her skin. Daenerys sought me out for help, and advice, on matters of warfare, and admired my integrity. We would talk about strategies for her war with Cersei, and I would tell her about the Night King. Although, I could tell, back then she was sceptical. After our little meetings, I would seek release with my hand, thinking about her as I pleasured myself. Yet still my barriers remained up. We remained cordial to each other, our eyes doing all the unspoken communication.

The more time we spent together, Daenerys changed, as if she wanted me, to see her not as a Queen, but as a woman. As confident as she was, around me, she wavered. Those purple eyes were always looking to me, for approval, reassurance, and love. But, that was not enough for me to bare my heart to her, I was not sure of her motives. At the map table when she said she had not given me permission to leave, at first, I wondered if the old Daenerys had come back. The one I had first met.

However, I knew by her eyes, she did not want me to go, because, she was scared she would never see me again. Daenerys did not know how to stop me, so she tried to order me to stay. I stared at her hard, and I told her in no uncertain terms, that I am a king, and to trust in me. Silently, she nodded to me, as if her own voice would betray her. I wanted to go to her then, to sweep her in my arms and tell her I would be back for her, but, I could not. I just was not a hundred percent sure, she felt the same way about me, as I felt about her. Leaving, was not what I wanted, but, it is what, I had to do.

Staring at Daenerys, had become my new pastime, and I did not know how much I missed her until we set sail for East watch. I missed her exotic smell, her spellbinding beauty, her voice. Everything was grey without her, I think Davos, guessed but he said nought.

Ser Jorah, a man of few words, really worshipped the Queen, and I think he loved her. He did not dislike me for my relationship with the Queen, but I could see that he was cautious of me. He, like the rest of her small council, did not like my influence over her, but none could sway her from my side. Tyrion, had been exasperated, that she had come beyond the wall, to rescue all of us. Even when I had fallen in the lake, she had not given up hope. Jorah had wanted her to set sail and leave, but she could not. Daenerys waited for me on top of the wall, even, when it seemed all hope was lost. It was my love for her that had made me survive. I could not go, to an icy grave, without tasting her; even once.

Ser Davos told me, she sat for days by my side on the boat, as I slept; Refusing to move, or eat until, she was sure I was past the worse. When I awoke and saw her, I knew then she loved me. I took her hand, as that's all I could do, and felt her soft skin, and I held her fingers tight. I again let my eyes tell her, she was mine, and she seemed to accept it.

Even in the Dragon pit, when I had not lied to Cersei, Daenerys had not really chastised me. After all, I had to be me, Jon Snow.

I knew the Dragon Queen, liked the fact, I was an honest straight-talking Northerner.

However, I didn't think her small council did.

They still tried to halt, whatever it was, that was building between us both. Ser Jorah, had feebly attempted to get Daenerys to fly to Winterfell, but had to begrudgingly watched, as I steered her to my way of thinking.

I had no time, for other men to influence, what I now regarded as mine.

All those, in her council knew that I was engineering the travel arrangements for our benefit.

As she slept on my chest, calm from our lovemaking, I smiled, she had needed it as much as I had. Now as the boat gently pulled towards its destination, I reflected on how, I nearly never knocked that door.

It was all calm now, but a few hours earlier, it had been a different story.