"Are you sure you guys aren't loan sharks or something?" Saitama asked Ape as he drived the rickety car. "Duh, I already told you." the driver angrily replied.
"Because if you guys are... I'll stop you myself." he said in a serious tone that sent chills up to the larger man's spine. "R-Right."
...
"Saitama. You need to represent our group! You ain't doing that with those garbs!" Eyelashes claimed. "Oh? But I like these clothes just fine." Saitama replied, it's true. He saw cooler hero suits here and there but this yellow jumpsuit and white cape along with red gloves and boots hold alot of sentimental value, it was made by that balding tailor who had a special place in his heart... Oh crap he forgot his name, but he offered to fix his blue training clothes for free from time to time so he's awesome in Saitama's book.
"Hey! You're daydreaming again, and you have no choice, you have to try out our attire." Eyelashes insisted. "Okay, Eyelids, no need to be pushy." Saitama raised his hands in defense.
"Eyelids?'
...
Saitama stared at himself in the mirror, this reminded him of the countless times he searched for job interviews, and that fateful day he saved a kid with ballsack chin from a crab monster.
"See? Now you look absolutely stunning!' Eyelashes complimented as he was proud by the group's uniform. "Ahh right." Saitama said as he adjusted his tie, he doubts that this fabric can survive a vaporizing energy blast from Boros.
"Now! Go see Lily of the three sectioned staff, she will inform you of your next chore."
'This is stupid. All I've become was an errand boy.' Saitama sighed. "Saitama-san! Hello!" Lily greeted as she waved her hands. Saitama noticed and waved back at this young girl with lilies on her head.
"Alright, kid. What are we gonna do now?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Not much, you're just going to escort me to Z-City to fetch Miss Blizzard's dry cleaned dress! I heard there are alot of monsters popping up there daily and the others can't come with me because we're working hard to buy a new ca-"
"Lily was it?"
"Yes?"
"Please try to summarize it to 20 words or less."
"Oh let me try. You, me, Z-City, pick up dry cleaned dresses."
Saitama smiled as they walked outside for a cab "Ah Genos should take notes from you."
Lily blushed at the mention of that name "Right, the Demon Cyborg lives with you, correct? What's it like to live with him?"
"Absolutely terrible, all he does is dig too deep on my words and be overly serious about eveything. But he ain't so bad though. He pays the rent, cleans the house and cooks." the bald hero said as they got inside the cab.
"The perfect housewife..." she muttered to herself with glee.
"Oh? Since he's a dude, shouldn't you call him a house husband instead? Or rather, a houseband?"
...
"Here we are! You live around here right?" the bubbly girl asked as she stepped down from the vehicle. "Yeah. I do. How'd you know?" Saitama asked as he handed a bill to the driver.
"Well... The group had been... Determined on recruiting you." Lily shyly said. "You look good in a suit though. Even with that head!"
"Hey, stop talking about my dome and get this over with!" Saitama snarled to which she giggled before going inside to pick up her boss' dress.
...
Fubuki finally felt accomplished as she lounged on her room, she hate to admit it, but her members were kind of weak, but now she recruited someone powerful, possibly an S-Class tier hero, she felt confident.
"Although it would be preferable if Genos joined too. And maybe even Silver Fang can follow, AND KING! Ooooh, if only my sis could see me now." Fubuki smiled. She may not be as powerful as Tatsumaki, but having control over powerful heroes may compensate for that.
...
"Kukukuku! My name is Tirant! (Tyrant) I used to work on a tire factory and now I've turned in to one! Prepare to be annihilated!" the monster screamed as the few civillians roaming around the ghost town of Z City panicked. "A monster!"
"Somebody save us!"
"It's heading towards the laundromat!"
Saitama was casually waiting for his colleague to come out, picking his ear as the giant tire shaped beast dawned upon him.
"I'm do- A TIGER LEVEL THREAT!" Lily screamed as she panicked, almost dropping the dress.
"Heh. A couple of businessmen are you? People like you make me jealous!" Tirant said.
"Actually, we're heroes. Not businessmen." Saitama corrected as his company shivered in fear, none of them have their weapons right now.
"HEROES? THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE PISSE- AAAGHCK!" it died immediately as Saitama nonchalantly punched it.
'... That's so cool. A tiger level threat usually takes atleast 7 Blizzard group members to be eliminated, yet this guy just punched it.' Lily thought.
"Sensei!"
"Oh, Genos!"
"D-D-D-De-De-De-"
Genos and Saitama glanced at the stuttering 15 year old. "I heard that there is a Tiger level threat he- what's wrong with her?"
"I dunno. Fubuki's group are a weird bunch." Saitama replied with a shrug.
"Sensei, where have you been this morning?" Genos asked
"Eh, I just went to Fubuki's headquarters and joined her group." his master replied nonchalantly. "You joined her..? That witch! She-"
Lily shook her head as she snapped out of the trance. "Hey what did you just called Miss Blizzard?!"
"Hmm? I called her a witch." Genos bluntly replied.
"That's not true! She is a very passionate and caring person, and how dare you judge her like that!" Lily angrily yelled at her crush to defend her boss. Apparently, the bald guy noticed this.
"Oi, Genos. Seems like you have alot in common with this girl." Saitama teased, he remembered how hellbent Genos was on fighting Saitama's haters and those petty C Class Tanktop Brothers.
"I don't understand what you mean." the cyborg replied.
"Hey don't ignore me!" Lily barked once more. "Oh, right. Genos, we need to get this dress back to Fubuki, I'll be back in 7." Saitama said as he walked towards the girl.
Genos took one last glance at the Blizzard group member, to which she stuck out a tongue to taunt him.
'I wonder what could be Sensei's motives of joining?' he pondered as he walked back to the apartment. 'Could it be that she manipulated him by promising him some ridiculously delicious food if he joins? I hate to admit it, but Sensei is succeptible to that kind of trickery. Or maybe... *gasp* she... Forced herself on him and he liked it? Sensei is bald but he is still a healthy 25 year old man, of course his libido is... So many possibilities.' Genos closed the door behind him and began listing on his notebook about his thought, speculation and insight about the matter.
...
"Yo, Fubuki." Saitama knocked on the door. 'He could use some politeness...' Fubuki thought to herself as she strutted towards her door.
"Show some respect and call me Miss... Miss..." she was smitten at the sight of him wearing a suit. Sure, he looks absolutely retarded whenever he had that bored expression, but she took note of how surprisingly attractive he looks whenever he's serious.
"Your dress smell like cat piss. Are perfumes really that over the top these days?" he insensitively remarked to which she angrily snatched it. "You did good today." Fubuki muttered.
"Heh. Glad you think so. I'm going home." Saitama said.
"Hey wait, you can't go home. This is our headquarters, we already have a room for you." the boss said. "Ah. I never agreed to this though." Saitama scratched his head. "But you signed the paper." Fubuki retorted.
"Was it written there? Man, I should start reading contracts before signing them." Saitama muttered to himself.
"You should." Fubuki crossed her arms with an annoyed look on her face. "Well, I gotta go home and all, Genos might burn this building if I don't. He is not really taking the news well that I subscribed to your group." Saitama reasoned.
"You have a fair point. And subscribe is a poor choice of word, we're not a newspaper brand, we're a hero faction." Fubuki said. "But I guess I'll make an exception for you." she sighed.
Saitama nodded and turned around to leave.
"Saitama."
He halted on his tracks.
"Why did you suddenly change your mind and joined my group?" Fubuki asked in a serious tone. The bald hero didn't turn around to face him so she can't tell what his expressions are.
"I guess might as well try something new." Saitama replied as he resumed walking towards the exit.
"Oh wait, could you atleast stay for the-" she was interrupted by the door closing, as the Blizzard of Hell was left to her thoughts. "Did he really mean that? That's kind of a half assed reason to join my group..." she pondered as she stared at her dress. 'But then again, this is Saitama we're talking about. A hero for fun.' she sniffed the fabric and pondered another deep thought...
"Does it really smell like cat pee?"
...
"Do you really want to know, Genos?"
"Yes Sensei!"
Saitama pondered. "Aha. I'm planning on acting like a jackass, so they'd kick me out of the group and Fubuki won't want to have anything to do with me." the bald hero said. The cyborg immediately scribbled something on his notebook. "Sensei is so smart and cunning, beneath his unassuming looks, his ideas are remarkable."
"Are you implying that I'm an idiot?"
"Very well." Genos stood up. "I shall assist Sensei on his quest."
"Ahh, no. You don't have to."
But Genos already ran out to the Blizzard headquarters.
Saitama just shrugged and grabbed a bowl full of rice with scrambled egg.
As the TV news occupied the room's silence, Saitama looked at the Hero Association book once more as he chewed his meal.
Something exploded outside.
"Oh? A monster?" Saitama stood up and went to check it out.
As he got outside he noticed a large praying mantis lobster hybrid. "Uraaaaaaghh! My name is-"
Meanwhile Saitama just stared at him and daydreamed. 'Senior Takoyaki currently holds the 2nd rank in S Class, but seeing that Blast guy is always a no show, she might as well be number 1. Amen Mask in A Class, Blister of Hell at B and Mumen Rider at C. I wonder how they even come up with those rankings... WAIT A MINUTE.'
"Hey! You! Are you even listening?! The speaker classified me as a Demon level threat!"
'The guidebook said that the Hero Association started 3 years ago... How come I never heard of it when I was training? And come to think of it... The history says...'
"Ignoring me are you?! Taste my iron grip pincers!" the monster snipped Saitama but it didn't affect the hero.
'The founder's grandson was saved by a random joe from a crab monster which inspired him to found the association... I SAVED A BIG CHINNED BRAT FROM A CRAB MONSTER.'
"You're tough, try this one up for size! Killer Move: A-"
He turned to giblets as Saitama punched the monster as the realization hit him. "I'M THE REASON THE HERO ASSOCIATION WAS ESTABLISHED!"
As he stared at the carnage in front of him, it made him smile.
It doesn't matter if no one else knows, as long as the heroes protect people, even if most of them are selfish, they still do their duties to maintain peace as it's their jo . Saitama should feel somehow entitled, but he knew it doesn't matter because he was a hero not because he wants admiration or fame, he is a hero because he was bored.
And it won't change anything, if he became a celebrity like that Ammo Mask or not, it won't change him, he's still a hero. For fun.
Change of plans.
Saitama can see the insecurity oozing through Fubuki, she is acting like a mob boss because she doesn't have strength on her own.
"Heroes will continue to fight monsters, even if they're alone."
He remembered his word, but he knew damn well she didn't even took a second to listen to that. So instead, he'll teach her with actions instead.
"Or get kicked out in the process, either way sounds good."
But as Saitama returned to his unit, he rethinked his decision. 'Wait, I barely taught Genos a thing and now I'm planning on teaching Fubuki without her knowledge? I'm a shitty teacher...' he sweatdropped at the thought but he took a deep breath 'That's it, she doesn't know I'm teaching her so it won't put much pressure to me as much as Genos.' he thought with a smile. Now what to do? Naw, he had all the time in the world to think about it. Right now, he'll relax.
Today is Thursday, there is going to be a buffet tomorrow and he can't wait.
The door opened.
"Sensei!"
"Oh Genos? What took you?" Saitama asked in a carefree manner. "My apologies, they accepted me as a member. I took awhile to return because they refused to let me leave until the weekly buffet was over." the cyborg bowed.
"... What." Saitama replied flatly.
"Genos, what day is it today?" Genos heard his master ask. "I believe it's Friday."
"And you said they refused to let you leave until it was over?" the bald man asked calmly.
"Precisely." the cyborg answered firmly.
"I MISSED IT! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
...
There's always next week.