It had been a long day. The dinner had gone along with little interruption, and it seemed as though it was quite successful. Elsie Hughes sat down with her tea in the comfortable light of her sitting room, and she put her feet up, trying to unwind. Her aching muscles protested against any movement, and she sighed in relaxation as she sank into her seat. She closed her eyes and let the peace wash over her like gentle rolling waves. It was quiet, and this was a sound that she was thankful to hear after everything that had transpired that day. Suddenly a gentle knock sounded at her door, and her eyes opened to find Mr. Carson leaning against her door frame.
"Please forgive my intrusion, it's just, I wondered if I could join you," he spoke slowly, his silhouette illuminated by the lamplight. He looked exhausted, and the sight of him in this way tugged at her heart.
"Oh, it's never an intrusion with you, Mr. Carson. Please, sit," she patted the seat beside her with a smile and he made his way over with a small smile of his own. She turned to the table to fix him a cup of tea which he took gratefully with a smile. She watched him as he took a deep breath, and it seemed as though his whole body relaxed, for the weight of maintaining the glory of Downton Abbey had been lifted from his shoulders, if only for a moment. She knew that he didn't take proper care of himself, for although he seemed to be the hard and unfeeling Butler, she knew that he was too busy caring about everyone else.
They sat in silence for a little while, and it was quite nice for them to spend this time together, for it was not often that they had time to just enjoy each other's company. His grip tightened on his tea cup, and he stared into its contents as if searching for some sort of answer within the murky depths. Finally he spoke, "Mrs. Hughes, I've been meaning to ask you…"
Her heart began beating faster, and her throat caught as she waited anxiously for him to continue his thoughts. Every second of silence caused her heart rate to jump even higher and her mind to jump to another conclusion. Is he going to finally admit something to me, she asked herself.
"I've just been wondering if you have been feeling quite well. I know that your workload has once more increased since your… scare," he said turning to look at her, deep sincerity in his eyes.
"I am fine, Mr. Carson. I get tired from time to time, but what can one expect at our age? We're not nearly as young as we used to be," a sad smile ghosted across her lips, for she briefly imagined what it would have been like to have spent her youth with Charlie Carson. A sharp pang of sadness pierced her heart as she remembered that she would never share anything more than this with him, and somehow she would have to learn to be okay with that.
He didn't believe her. He could see the pain in her expression, the sadness, and that hole in his chest grew bigger as he watched his beautiful Elsie suffer. He wished that he could ease her sorrows, make it all better. He wished that he could just pull her into his arms and hold her, tell her that she haunted his dreams and how much he loved her, but there was no way that he could ever do such a thing. "Well, Mrs. Hughes, if something were ailing you, I do wish that you would tell me," he began. "I don't think I would ever be the same if something should happen to you."
She choked back the tears that threatened to fall, for if he saw her in that way, she feared that it would ruin everything that she had worked so hard to build. "I assure you, Mr. Carson, I am perfectly healthy. I find it very kind and honorable that you should care so much about my well-being, but I think that your health is just as valuable. I don't think anything could ever return to normal if we lost you." She would die if anything happened to him. She would become nothing more than a lifeless shell of her former self, and she would certainly never be happy again. She was touched by just how much he worried for her, and she decided that it was a confession in itself. Right in that moment, she was enjoying the side of him that very few people had ever seen. He had let down his defenses, showing her the vulnerable side of him, and she loved every single moment of it. However, just as quickly as he had let them down, he abruptly snapped back to the all-business Charles Carson that everyone else knew.
"I will certainly try to take better care of myself, but only as long as you do the same. This house runs like a well-oiled machine with us in charge of maintaining it, and I do not wish for that to change due to manageable circumstances. Well, it is rather late, so I think I'll head to bed, and I highly suggest that you do the same." He stood and adjusted his jacket, and then looked back down at her, "Thank you for the tea, good night, Mrs. Hughes." He turned to leave, and she could feel her heart breaking once more. He stopped when he reached the door, turning back to look at her. "Before I go," he started, the light flickering in his eyes. She held her breath, hoping for some kind of miracle to make him stay. "Be sure to tell Mrs. Patmore that His Lordship has requested the Salmon Mousse for Tuesday's dinner," and with that, he turned to leave, taking her heart with him. She watched him leave, and this time she just couldn't hold back the tears.