With Gollum now leading the way, the Hobbits were able to relax a bit, though they were starting to receive irritated glances from Gollum whenever they'd show affection to one another even in the slightest ways. It was plain to see in Frodo's eyes that she felt terribly sorry for poor Gollum, being all alone with no friends and whatnot, but as she and Merry discussed, sympathy was no reason to befriend a person. Pippin seemed to offend Gollum in every aspect, and Sam wasn't very far behind.
Pippin: So, then, I said--
Gollum: Shut your fat mouth, stupid Hobbit! We is tired of listening to yous!
Precious: You're only ranting anyway, Hobbit...
Pippin: Well, damn. I'm SO sorry.
Gollum: Yous should be.
Sam: *whispers to Pippin* Are you really sorry?
Pippin: *also whispers* Only a little. But it's better than listening to her whine.
Sam: Good point.
Merry: So, Frodo, aren't you even a little worried that Sauron will try to corrupt you with the Ring again?
Frodo: No. He's just an overgrown little child, anyway. He's not exactly bright enough to manipulate me twice.
Merry: That's a very valid point. I mean....even Pippin's not that stupid.
Pippin: What, Merry?
Merry: Nothing, Pip.
Gollum: Be QUIET, Hobbitses!
Frodo: Be QUIET, Gollumses!
Precious: We doesn't like yous mocking us, do we, Gollum?
Gollum: Noes we doesn't, Precious. Frodo will pay, Precious.
Frodo: Yeah, yeah...*Gandalf-smacks her*
Gollum: Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww. She hurtses us, Precious!!!
Merry: That's why you don't mess with her, dear.*skips up to Pippin, then pauses, realizing something*
Pippin: Yes, dear?
Merry: You're taller.
Pippin: Who?
Merry: You!
Pippin: Than who?
Merry: Than me!
Pippin: I've always been taller than you.
Merry: Pippin, everyone knows I'm the tall one. You're the short one.
Pippin: Please, Merry.. You're what, three-foot-six? At the most? I'm pushing three-seven, three-eight.
Merry: Three-foot-eight? You did something.
Sam, feeling a bit left out walked over to stand next to the two arguing Hobbits and looked clear over their heads
Sam: i think im the tallest
Pippin: *punches the younger boy* SHUT UP!
Frodo: *knowing that she is not much shorter the Sam just giggles to herself*
Gollum:*glares ONCE more at the Hobbits's foolishness* would you hobbitses SHUT UP! wes are goings to get caughts! And Precious will be VERY mad if that happens, wont we Precious?
Precious: Yes, Yes we will... So Be QUIETS, stupid Hobbitses!
Merry: But didnt your yelling at us just make more noise?
Gollum: *glares at Merry*
Merry: Okay okay... ill shut up
The 4 Hobbits and the creature walk forward for what feels like MONTHS! The boys have become almost UNBEARABLE!!
Frodo: *Turns on the boys ONCE MORE... this is about the 15th time is 30 minutes* If you two dont FUCKING STOP kicking Rocks at me i am going to take that rock over there *points to a fairly big sized rock* AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!
Both boys hang their heads in shame until...
Pippin: Frodo!! Sam just Poked me!
Sam: DID NOT!!
Pippin: Did SO!
Merry: STOP!
Pippin: b-b-but.... Merry!
Merry: *GLARE*
15 minutes of quiet... then
Sam: FRODO! Pippin Hit Me!!
Pippin: Sam Invaded My Personal Bubble!!!!!
Frodo: *walks up to the boys and Gandolf-slaps them both*
Boys: OOOWWWWWWWWWW
Gollum: Must you Hobbitses be SO STUPID!?!
Precious: This is why we HATES Hobbitses!!!
The next couple days went by much better.... almost no fighting... and the few fights that did happen were quickly stopped
Pippin: I'm hungry
Sam:me too
Gollum: But yous Fatt Hobbitses has eated already.
Pippin: Yes, but that was first breakfast, what about second breakfast?
Merry: I Dont think she knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about Elevensies? Lunchoen? Afternoon Tea, dinner, Supper? Do you think sshe knows about those?
Merry: Dont think so.
Gollum was becoming quite irritated by the Hobbits, and was starting to highly consider leaving them. However, the two female hobbits DID promise her a boyfriend, and she and Precious entertained that idea wildly.
Merry: *whispers to Frodo*How the HELL are we gonna find Ugly a boyfriend?!
Frodo: *whispers back*Easy, Merry. 'Sides, we might be able to drop her off somewhere on our way back after we battle Sauron for the Music of Hobbiton. You never know. Sarumon might be taking applications..
Merry: Yeah, 'cause no one wants HIM, either.
*both female hobbits crack up, leaving the boys confused, and Gollum irritated again....Hobbits were just too happy for her*
Sam looked at Pippin and grinned mischievously, but Pippin shook his head in alarm, not quite wanting to get Gandalf-smacked by Frodo again. Pippin had a hard head, but it wasn't quite hard enough for being hit by Frodo AND Merry all the time. Sam pouted for a moment, but then shrugged off Pippin's rejection.
Sam: Hey, Frodo, I'm TIRED.
Frodo: Sam! We've only been walking for an hour!
Sam: Yeah, but I'm lazy.
Frodo: Sam!!!
Merry: Samwise Gamgee! You suck it up RIGHT NOW or you're getting dropped off to be babysat by Legolas!
Sam: ...But Legolas scares me.
Merry: Exactly, silly Hobbit.
Pippin: Tricks are for Dwarves! ^^
Merry: *Gandalf-smacks him*Stupid!!!
Pip's joke was so lame that even Gollum joined in in criticizing him, and by the end of the morning, Pippin was lagging behind, fully humiliated, and not even Sam was joking around with him right now. Normally Pippin was very funny, and Merry suspected that it was the lack of Music that was starting to bring him down. She tried to talk Pippin up as the afternoon drew on, but he still wasn't feeling all that great by the time they stopped for dinner. Gollum had gone off to find herself some gruesome form of food, while the Hobbits gathered round a campfire.
Merry: I have an idea...
Sam: What? Your mom?
Merry: She's dead. Now hush.
Frodo: What's your idea, dear?
Merry: Maybe Sauron's stolen our music, but that doesn't mean we can't at least TRY to make our own, right?
Pippin: *gloomily* Like what?
Merry: *stomps feet twice, then claps hands once, and repeats this problem*
Frodo and Sam: *pick up on the hint, and begin to copy her, Pippin finally coming in also*
Frodo: Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day. Ya got mud on your face, ya big disgrace, kickin' your can all over the place, singing,
All Hobbits: We will, we will rock you! We will, we will, rock you!
Sam: Buddy, you're a young man, hard man, shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day! You got blood on your face, big disgrace, waving your banner all over the place!
All Hobbits: We will, we will, rock you! We will, we will rock you!
Pippin: Buddy, you're an old man, poor man, pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day!
Merry: You got mud on your face, big disgrace, somebody'd better put you back into your place!
All Hobbits: We will, we will, rock you! We will, we will, rock you! We will we, will rock you! We will, we will rock you!
The hobbits then all fell back in laughter, having thoroughly enjoyed themselves. From the shadows, Gollum watched, rage flowing through her body like a fiery surge.