OK, so we have just set the scene for Angel and Angelus a bit. Eased you in there. That wont be how the fic is throughout though as it will turn into like a series type thing. With dialogue and all sorts of yummy events happening for your entertainment! Im just starting each chapter with an idea of what I want and seeing what my magic fingers can do. (OK that was wrong. I rephrase...) Im just started each chapther with an idea of what I want and letting my imagination do the rest. (much better).

Thoughts, Feelings and General Beginnings pt 2

Broken. Buffy Summers, slayer extraordinaire, was broken. Statue still and alone the slayer sat atop a headstone, empty eyes staring into dark abyss. Or at least thats how she felt. In actual fact they were staring straight ahead, focusing on, well, nothing. Her reason to go on had left. Yes she had the world on her shoulders, but that was her calling. Her job. What she had to do. He, he was her reason. She fought for her life and the lives of others for him. Her friends and family too, but more for him. To make him proud, to keep him safe, to be the person he saw her as. Although that was a double sided coin. On one side, she could be herself, Buffy, Slayer, Woman. No pretenses, no fake smiles or cheer. With him she could just be. On the other side, she felt he put her on a pedestal that she felt she had to strive to live up to. The image that she was pure and good and needed the sunlight and a normal life, when in fact, she was just as much in the dark as he. She was allowed forgiveness and salvation where as he was not. Or rather, where as he would not allow himself it, for she had offered it to him. Gift wrapped. Made him drink from her to save his life. Despite saying she trusted him to stop, she wouldnt have cared if he didnt. In a second she would give her own life for his and do it smiling. Whats more, in fact what was scarier, was that the slayer realised she would take another life for his.

Whilst denying himself this salvation and light in his normally dark life, he also denies hers. The one thing he is trying not to do. She has seen, understood and thrown out his logic. He was scared pure and simple. Either that or he didn't love her. She could quite easily believe that if she was so inclined. A 244 year old legendary vampire with a soul, in love with a 17 year old ex-cheerleader who had sent him to hell? As it was that thought was so utterly horrifying it had been banished almost as soon as it had been created. No she was not so inclined to think that. So settling on him being scared, her thoughts evolved.

She knew his thoughts and his reasons, she understood them despite what he may believe. She is not someone that loves lightly or who is immature in her choices, especially when they literally mean the world. Her life was not going to be long enough to warrant half way feelings or settling for second best. They even make her love him a little more if it were possible. But they were still crap.

He didnt think he was good enough for her and thought he knew best. He didnt trust her love for him to not turn to dispair at their circumstances. Mostly, he didnt trust himself around her. They had opened the door to their passion and keeping it closed was more than he could bear. The slayer understood. Really she did, but she had not given up on him. Never would she turn her back on their love. Despite her actions of unnattention during training or complete dislike of all things books, she had studied and absorbed more facts of demons and vampires than any others realised. She knew what the mark on her neck meant and she knew it would never leave nor did she want it to. It was his mark and she knew it meant she belonged to him. She also knew vampires do not leave there mate once they are marked. He did, he left her after marking her and that broke her heart.

There was no search for a way to bind his soul. There was no vow stay through the bad times. There was no consideration for what she wanted or what she needed. There wasnt a goodbye.

He had given up, and now, so had she.

So now Buffy sat like an empty shell as the newly risen vampire she had been waiting for approached her from behind. She didn't move or flinch or turn around as he got closer and eventually let out a low growl to try and illicit some response or fear from the small girl. The vampire drew his hand back ready to attack and the slayer finally responded twisting and grabbing the fist heading towards her head, plunging her stake into his heart before turning back to resume the exact position as before.

He promised her forever. She was still waiting.